Chapter Text
December 3rd 2000, Russia
It’s two minutes past midnight, officially marking Natalia's 20th birthday.
There’s a clock in the left corner of the room that she can’t seem to take her eyes off. The room is freezing, the cold winter temperatures numbing her fingers and feet. The tall grey walls tower over her, making her feel small. The hard, cold metal beds don’t help, the loud creaking noise bothering her whenever someone moves slightly.
Despite the room being filled with dozens of other young girls her age, she still feels as lonely as ever. They’re all fast asleep, their soft snores and relaxed expressions reminding her that regardless of what happens in this place, they’re all still young girls.
New girls show up all the time. Every day, one girl dies, and another shows up. They barely have time to process the deaths before their replacements have arrived. Natalia knows better than to think like this, but sometimes, she wishes they'd all die at once so their suffering could stop.
She knows it's a stupid wish. This is the Red Room, where girls are used for whatever their instructors want. There is no happy ending here, regardless of how hard she tries to find a silver lining, there are none.
But today Natalia is begging for some sort of miracle, something that will save her from this torment that's been haunting her for years.
She tears her eyes away from the clock as she hears footsteps coming down the hallway, her eyes stuck to the bottom of the door, looking for any signs of someone coming in. The thought of being caught awake scares her just enough to lie back down, shifting slowly so as not to make any sound.
She doesn’t dream often. She doesn’t know if it’s a Red Room thing, being incapable of dreaming, but tonight she does. She dreams of faint cheering, birthday presents being unwrapped, and a blonde head of hair in her arms, squeezing her tightly.
When she wakes, she shakes it off. The faint memories that refuse to disappear fully. While the handcuffs around her wrists and ankles are being loosened, she decides to act as if today is any other day, refusing to allow her memories to cloud her brain.
The day goes by in a blink. She keeps being shoved by the other Widows who have some sort of vendetta against her, the instructors are being harder on her than usual, testing her to her limits.
Despite being one of the best Widows the Red Room has ever had, Natalia hasn't graduated yet, which leaves her on a constant edge. There's something about her that's missing for her to be able to graduate, and she is desperate to find out what else is left for her to do.
She spends all day trying her hardest, trying to prove to them that she's worthy of graduating. Truth be told, she doesn't know what happens once you graduate. All she knows is that she hasn't seen a single one of the Widows who have graduated since then, and that's enough to convince her to go for it.
As soon as she walks into the training room, she realizes that there are many more instructors than usual and they've all got their eyes on her.
“Widow Romanov and Widow Petrova, spar.” One instructor immediately orders.
Natalia watches as a blonde girl, maybe two or three years younger than her, stands up with a prideful smirk plastered on her face.
"Come on, little girl." Petrova says.
She stares ahead, knowing how this is going to end. There are two possibilities: Petrova loses, which means Natalia has to kill her; or Natalia loses and dies on her birthday.
She knows she has to do it, realistically, there aren't any other options. As she watches Petrova circle her, she takes a deep breath, allowing her muscles to relax. She closes her eyes, counting to three before locking back onto Petrova's.
In a split second, she jumps on her, pushing Petrova down and slamming her head to the ground. She spares a glance at the instructor, who doesn't react, so she keeps going. As soon as Petrova stands back up, Natalia is on her again, shoving her and punching her hard enough to draw blood.
When she grabs her head, pulling her up from her hair, Petrova spits out blood onto her face.
"You're gonna die today, Romanov. You're never leaving this place." Petrova mumbles out.
Before she realizes what's happening, Natalia has her arms locked around Petrova's neck. The hold is tight, she can feel the girl struggling against her body, but nothing is stopping her now. Her words are deep in her mind, thoughts running around. What if this is her chance to get out?
Natalia remains quiet, tightening just enough to hear the crack. The young girl's body goes limp in her arms, and she has to fight the sudden urge to throw up. She can't bear to look at the body, so she immediately makes her way back to the crowd of young girls, all of them expressionless.
It only makes Natalia feel even more alone. She does what she's told, no questions asked. There's a side of her brain, though, one that screams at her every day to feel pity and realize what she's doing to these young girls, but she refuses to let that side win. She was forced to be here, so she's going to do her best to get out.
She can feel someone's eyes on her for the remainder of the class, but not once does she turn around to look.
Once training is over, Natalia stays put and waits until an instructor makes their way towards her. "Ms. Romanov, follow me." He says, immediately turning away.
Natalia follows him silently, still disgusted with what she just did and scared for what they're going to do to her now. She's led to a cold grey room, two metal chairs and a wooden desk being the only things that fill up the room.
Standing at the window is Madame B. The truth is that Natalia has no idea what Madame B is. Some girls say she's a former Widow who made it to the top, others say she's being held hostage and forced to do this job. Natalia is unsure if there’s any difference.
She sits on the chair and waits to be addressed.
"Our darling Widow," Madame B says, turning around with a stern expression. "We have been observing you lately, and you have been outstanding."
Natalia tries not to react to the compliment, but she can't hide the fact that it makes her feel proud. Maybe this is it, she's finally graduating. As she looks down at her hands, her mind flashes back to Petrova in between her arms, fighting for her life. That uneasy feeling returns, and Natalia takes a deep breath.
"You may be wondering why our most promising Widow hasn't yet graduated, so I want to share with you our upcoming project." Madame B continues.
Scared.
Can’t be scared.
Fear.
Fear isn’t real.
No fear.
"You were supposed to graduate two years ago, but at the time we started a collaboration with Hydra, a new project. We needed someone perfect, someone who would be perfect for the project that would change the world, and that person has always been you."
They've always had a plan for her, but for some reason this news doesn't ease her mind, instead, it only unsettles her further.
"Me?" Natalia asks.
"The Legacy Program is something we've been working on for so long, and you're finally ready. Our dream is almost complete." Madame B says. Natalia notes that she's not giving her any new information, which doesn't help her nerves.
"Legacy Program?" Natalia asks.
She feels the sudden urge to leave.
Madame B walks around towards her, harshly grabbing her face and squeezing her cheeks. She stares at her as if she's something to admire, and panic seeps into Natalia's bones. She stands still as Madame B observes her entire being, running her hands down her body as if checking for something. She runs her fingers down Natalia's red hair, combing it back before squeezing her face again.
"The Legacy Program is our new special breeding program. You will be used, alongside a Hydra super soldier, to create the perfect weapon."
Special breeding program.
For a moment, the world seemed to have screeched to a halt, as the meaning of the words sank in. A shocked whimper makes its way out of her, making her sound just as young as she is. Her heart stutters in her chest, suddenly feeling like she can’t breathe.
Breeding. Breeding. Breeding.
Panic, unlike anything she has ever felt before, squeezes tightly around her as she struggles to keep bile from coming up, but it's impossible. She's slapped as soon as she's done throwing up on the office floor.
"This is your duty, Widow. You will do this." Madame B says, her eyes dark.
There’s a quick second where Natalia thinks that maybe dying might be better than what’s about to come, but the grip on her face is too strong. It holds her face as much as it holds her heart and brain, and despite hating every second of this, it’s what Madame B said.
It was already impossible to make it out of here, but this program just made it hundreds of times worse. Natalia Romanov is stuck in the Red Room forever, and there's no way to get out.
She shoves Natalia away, not saying anything else before she's being dragged away by an instructor. She wants to scream, wants to cry and beg for them to pick someone else, but she knows there's no use. This is her duty.
As she is dragged to the Medical Bay, Natalia starts running through her options. She panics as they strip her of her clothes, poking and prodding her for exams. She sits and waits while her blood is being drawn and thinks of what to do.
She can't run away, the Red Room would find her in a second. She thinks back to Madame B's expression while she talked about the program, that was someone proud of their work. She imagines it's how a mother talks about their child. They want this to go perfectly, they need this more than anything else, and they've picked her.
Without Natalia, there is no project, no Legacy, nothing.
If she wants to survive, she has to stay. She has to complete the mission.
This is her one-way ticket out of here.
So she stays.