Chapter Text
Attempt 1: January 18th 2023
January 13th
Troy should be happy.
First game of the January road trip and the Centaurs had beaten the Phoenix Firebirds 3-1 the night before.
Instead, he is slouched in his seat, earbuds in, music off staring blankly out the private jets window. Phone a deadweight in his hand. Latest text from an unknown Toronto number still open on the screen.
(647) 417-2263
???: backstabbing faggot!
???: karma will get you
???: [attachment]
Attached is a photo of Troy with Dallas Kent at a house party in 2018. Dallas has one arm slung around Troy’s shoulders, they’re both laughing at the camera, holding matching red solo cups.
The photo had begun recirculating over the past few days after the second of Dallas victims could be seen in the background, she was facing away from the camera, her peach-pink hair and green dress made her easy to identify.
Troy can’t even remember the night, it was one of hundreds. He’d most likely left the party just after midnight and ended the night with a private browser open with only his right hand for company. but that didn’t stop the onslaught of comments claiming Troy knew. That he was complicit in Dallas crime.
Troy kept looking out the window, stomach turning as unwanted nostalgia and guilt returned.
Three rows in front, Troy can hear Ilya chatting to Bood and Wyatt in the neighbouring seats. Shane most likely sat beside him, probably on his kindle reading the russian translation of something about hockey, or at least that’s what he was reading last time Troy tried to make small talk. Likely pretending to ignore whatever gossip his husband is fueling.
Welsh Smithy, teams latest traded defenseman, not to be confused with his partner Texas Smithy had once called them “The Plastics”. When Troy had asked Harris what that meant he’d just laughed and said it was a movie reference.
“-Tells me it will happen after game on Wednesday.”
“Wednesday?” Wyatt sounds surprised, “So the ring is finally finished? Lisa was telling me there were delays?”
Ring?
Troy took his left bud out and frowned at his reflection in the window, wracking his brain as to what ring those three could possibly be gossiping about.
The only thing coming to Troy’s mind is Lapoint and Young threesome. Except he’d been told they were a secret to be kept from the veterans of the team.
Last summer during the teams post season party to celebrate making it to the second round of playoffs, a drunk Bergy had gotten to talking to a sober Troy. Sober Troy only being sober as he'd lost the team draw of designated babysitter for the night, according to Bergy. Young and LaPoint kept matching with the same girls on Raya and after a wild night in New York with a very confident woman turned friend called Luna they’d started having threesomes together.
When Troy had inquired why he was only finding out now Bergy had confessed it was a secret amongst the younger members of the team due to fear of management forcing them all into another round media training, they also apparently feared Ilya taking it as an invite to tell them all about all the wild sex he’d had when playing for Boston, so a pact had been made.
The latest update Troy had received of fuckfest that was Pointy and Young has came from the men themselves at Boods boxing day BBQ. They’d explained that for Valentine’s Day as a fun little treat they’d wanted to get matching cock rings and had asked to Troy’s horror if he knew of any reputable sellers in Canada.
Troy did not, thank you very much.
“Yeah, they got the size wrong originally, Cassie told me about her and Cait's trip to pick it up for him on Tuesday.” Bood explained.
Jesus Christ, Pointy and Young have got the WAGs involved in their cock ring hunt? Look Troy knew the Centaurs were one of the most progressive teams in the NHL but he didn’t think they were this civically minded.
“I am very excited to see photos of Chiron in his little bowtie. he will look adorable”
Wait. What?
Troy frowned at his own reflection in confusion. Why the fuck is Chiron going to be wearing a bowtie for Pointy and Youngs cock ring fantasy?
“Only excited for the dog photos?” Wyatt chides “And not for your two good friends, Troy and Harris. Who will be getting engaged?”
Cold dread pools down Troy's spine.
Fuck.
The sensation reminded him of the time where Ilya thought it’d be a grand idea for the team to bond by doing laps of Dew Lake in October.
Him and Harris engaged? Oh fuck no.
“Well that as well” Ilya laughs. “Maybe they put Chiron in tuxedo for the wedding as well! he will be the cutest be ring bearer.”
No.
Fuck no.
Chiron would not be wearing a tuxedo to his and Harris's wedding because there would not be a wedding. Troy doesn’t think he deserves a wedding or Harris as a husband.
“You three really shouldn’t be talking about this when Troy could overhear.”
“Shane, man it’s totally fine. Troy’s is probably asleep at the front of the plane, he seemed tired earlier”
“Speaking of being tired today,” Wyatt spoke, changing the subject. “Dillon apparently broke curfew again-”
Troy took that as his cue to zone out of their gossip session and put his earbud back in his ear.
It wasn't fair on Harris. That was Troy’s fear. Troy could deal with the curse of being a Barrett, he'd live twenty seven years as one so far.
How could he even begin to explain it to him? How could he tell Harris about the truth without him immediately running away and taking everything Troy loved with him? About the generational rot that follows the Barrett name from father to son, infecting others with a kiss and a ring. Passed down like an inheritance nobody had asked for. The idea of anchoring Harris to that legally made him feel sick.
The cruelty. The anger. The things they did to the people who loved them. He’d watched his father do it to his mother. And remembered the coldness his Grandfather held to his Grandmother. Troy didn’t want to be like his father, he was scared the seed had been planted already and was waiting for an excuse to bloom and flourish.
Harris deserved better, deserved to always have the chance of an easy exit from Troy instead of months of paperwork and court rooms. Harris had already given Troy so much, he shouldn’t have to give his freedom as well.
Troy stared at the sandy landscape stretching beneath them. He has no idea where they are somewhere between Phoenix and Denver, Geography was never his strongest subject.
But he knows one thing, he cannot let Harris have the chance to propose, he cannot break his heart, instead Harris needs to come to his own conclusion that Troy isn’t worth it.
Because somehow, Harris has become the holder of Troy’s happiness. And Troy refuses to dirty him.
January 18th
Troy had a plan.
He just wouldn't go home. Not until late, anyway. It was simple and really easy.
Harris and he hadn’t spoken about any post game plans, so Troy was well in his right to just go out after the game with his teammates and let Harris know.
They'd have a few drinks at Monk’s, maybe watch the west conference game and then waste a couple of hours chatting about whatever, and by the time Troy got home everyone would've forgotten this silly idea of Harris proposing to Troy and moved on to the next piece of team gossip.
Haasy and his new boyfriend, for example, whose name Troy couldn't remember despite having met him a few now, It begins with J.
Jack? Jon? Julian? Jaskier?
Wait no, that last one was the character from the television shows Wyatt had been banging on about for the past month.
Worst case scenario? Troy could reveal Young and LaPoint's plans for valentine’s day cock rings. That would certainly be more time-consuming and frankly more interesting than wasting everyone's time planning a proposal for him. The inevitable media training and meeting with management they’d all have to attend would be gruelling, but worth it in the long run and save everyone from pretending to be happy about Troy and Harris.
There was just one problem with his plan, he needed someone, anyone from the team to agree to go out with him and that was working out harder than he expected.
It had started at morning skate.Troy had stopped near the nets looking to talk to Wyatt while trying to look casual.
“Got any plans after the game?” he’d called out.
Wyatt glanced at him looking nervous. “Umm, Yes. Lisa's brother is in town tonight. We're going out for drinks after the game.”
Fuck.
“Sounds good, have fun” Troy said, a false smile plastered on his face as he lied through his teeth. Troy hoped Wyatt had a miserable time, not Lisa though, Lisa was great.
He tried Bood next, he never says no to a post game drink.
“Ah, not tonight, the babysitter has to leave by 10, sorry.” Bood said automatically not sounding apologetic, it was as if he’d rehearsed it.
He tried asking around during warmups, asking various teammates what they were doing after the game. Every single one had somewhere to be. all excuses vague with an onslaught of mentioning their children, wives or girlfriends. One rookie was apparently going home to watch the finale of a reality show with his girlfriend, which Troy couldn’t help but find insulting. Damn it even Lapoint and Young had plans.
Troy was beginning to suspect that the entire team had organised it.
When he asked Ilya during the second period while they were sitting on the bench, he was hit with the flimsy excuse of a Hollander family dinner, that Troy knew was a lie because Shane always refused to eat after 9pm. Ilya had also thrown the suggestion that the team hangout on Saturday, after they returned from Pittsburgh.
Saturday. Troy didn't want to hang out on fucking Saturday. He needed plans for tonight. Somewhere in the city Harris apparently has a ring, and Troy was running out of time to cancel his introduction to said ring
Post game. They’d won 5-4 to the Penguins, but the team was acting strange. A jittery energy filling the room that made Troy's skin crawl. Thank god they’d all pursued hockey and not acting, they were terrible at being nonchalant. The glancing was making Troy nervous, Everytime he looked up someone was watching him.
He could feel a familiar cocktail of panic and dread building in his chest, it’s been a few months since he’d felt like this,that was during the Ottawa Game Changer camp and had led to him throwing up and crying on Scott Hunter in a single stall bathroom.
Ugh if only they’d been playing against the Admirals, Scott and Vaughny would’ve definitely have agreed to go for a post game drink.
Troy looks around the dressing room. chatter and music playing on low filling the air as the team went through the process of showering and changing back into their game suits.
Luca however was quiet: a bit too quiet.
Usually after a team win he was incapable of being quiet, chatting with the other younger players about the game, especially when he was responsible for one of the goals like tonight, that usually lead to him willingly being in the centre of whatever antics Bergy and Young were up to.
Tonight, he is sitting in his stall, shoulders slumped, staring blankly at his phone. Gear haphazardly on the floor. Frankly he looked like shit, nothing like someone who had scored the team a winning goal 15 minutes prior.
Troy watches him for a moment, an unwanted sense of deja vu washing over him alongside the current cocktail of nerves inside him.
“Hey.” Troy said walking over with a rare stroke of confidence that was currently washing away the panic attack Troy could feel in the horizon. “You alright?”
Luca looked up at him, eyes red behind his glasses like he was trying to not cry. “James just broke up with me”
Oh! That was his name, James!
“Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.”
“He texted me.”
Troy blinked. Oh shit.
“He broke up with you by text?”
“Yeah, sent it 20 minutes ago,” Luca sighed, mouth pulling into a miserable little grimace.
Jesus.
Troy sat down in the currently vacant stall next to him, its current occupant being one of this year's rookies Toto, who was currently in the shower and placed his arm round Luca bringing him into an awkward half hug.
Fuck, Troy was terrible at others emotions. Hecould barely handle his own but he was feeling compassionate as the deja vu from early started to make sense. Atleast Adrian had broken up with him via facetime and not by text during a fucking a game.
“That’s rough buddy. Is there anything I can do for you?”
Troy can feel some eyes on them as their teammates clue in on something happening over in this corner of the dressing room as conversations slowly taper off.
“Not really. I kind of just want to go drown my sorrows”
Around the room, everyone freezes.
It’s subtle, but Troy catches it. For once, he doesn’t care enough to analyse their reactions.
“I can come with you,” Troy says, keeping his focus on Luca.
“Huh?”
“To drown your sorrows. I’ll come.” The words are out before Troy has really thought them through.
Then it hits him, this is it. His escape. The universe has just dropped the opportunity directly into his lap.
Luca wants to go out. Troy needs somewhere to be that isn’t home. Harris can’t propose if Troy isn’t there, and nobody could reasonably expect him to abandon his heartbroken teammate just so he could go home
It’s almost too perfect, which immediately makes Troy feel like a complete asshole. Luca actually is heartbroken.
His shoulders are still slumped, his eyes red behind his glasses, and he looks nothing like someone who had scored the winning goal less than twenty minutes ago.
Troy shouldn’t be looking at that and thinking thank fuck. He does though. Just a little. Then the guilt follows straight after.
“Seriously,” Troy says, his voice softening. “I’ll go with you.”
Luca gives him a doubtful look
“You don’t have to.”
“I know.” Troy offers him a small smile. “But you probably shouldn’t be getting drunk alone tonight.”
That earns a faint chuckle from Luca.
“Probably not.”
“Exactly, especially since we have a flighy tomorrow, can’t be having one of our best right wingers missing the plane.”
Troy squeezes Luca’s shoulder before getting up.
“i’ll leave you to finish getting ready and meet you outside, don’t worry I’m parked in my usual spot.”
As Troy walked back over to his own locker he couldn’t help but notice Bood and Wyatt huddled together around Ilya as he furiously typed on his phone.
That actually reminded Troy to message Harris.
Harris Drover 𑣿
Troy: Babe don’t wait up.
Troy: James broke up with Haasy and he wants to get drunk. have volunteered to keep an eye on him at Monks.
Harris: Oh No!! Poor Luca, what time do you think you’ll be home?
Troy: no clue, aiming for around midnight, matters on how drunk he gets.
Harris: You’re not drinking?
Troy: no, just keeping him company and keeping him safe.
Harris: Ah Ok. Give Lucas a hug for me. Love you ♥︎
Troy: love you ♥︎
Putting his phone back in his cubby Troy started to change out of his under armour and get ready to shower. He truly feels terrible for Luca and for bailing on Harris.
Maybe his good deed with Haasy cancels out his bad one with Harris even if he had both their interests at heart.
Monks is louder than Troy wants it to be. Usually he doesn’t mind the overlapping conversation of other patrons as whatever gap is played on the televisions as background noise. Tonight it’s making it difficult to think.
Troy had barely touched his drink. He’d ordered a Diet Pepsi when they arrived only so he had something to do with his hands. He briefly wonders what Harris is up to now that his evening has been freed up.
For the first half an hour Luca doesn't say much. Just sits slumped on the bar stool beside troy, only speaking to ask the Bartender, Mel for another drink.
Troy doesn’t push, he doesn’t really know how to. Comforting the rookies has always been more of an unofficial joint responsibility shared between Ilya, Bood and Shane as Captain and Alternates. with one of the team dads getting involved. Troy feels as if his role is generally just being there.
So instead they sit and they sip, or in Luca’s case chug.
It’s only sometimes during the swiss fourth drink, this time a gin and tonic that he breaks the silence between them.
“He cheated on me.”
Troy’s thumb stops tracing through the condensation of his almost empty glass.
“What?” he asks in disbelief, turning towards Luca.
Luca doesn’t look back at him, just continues to stare at his near empty glass, eyes beginning to well up behind his glasses.
“James, He told me he cheated on me.”
Oh. Troy was starting to dislike these parallels.
“He told you that by text?”
“Ja.”
Luca takes another swig, finishing the drink. before putting the now empty glass down on the bar. He lifts hand towards Mel.
“Can I get another gin and tonic?” He pauses briefly, “Could you make it double, please?”
“Sure thing sweetheart” she responded looking between Luca and Troy, a brief look of concern before moving on.
“Wrote it in like an afterthought… five months together and then…” he gestures vaguely at the countertop, losing his train of thought “Scheisse, I don’t know”
Mel sets the new drink in front of Luca before briefly turning to Troy with a pointed look. Troy nervously smiles back before she walks away.
“He said it was my fault for being away all the time.”
Troy's stomach turns. That sounded awfully familiar, being blamed for someone else’s actions as if they didn’t have free will and were being forced.
“No.”
Luca finally looks at him.
“He did, I can show you the texts.”
“I mean no, it isn’t your fault.”
Lucs gives a weak shrug turning back to the bar.
“Apparently he had needs” Luca paus2/ to take a gulp of his drink “needs I was not able to fulfill.”
Troy’s jaw tightens.
“That’s not an excuse, you know that right? You didn’t force him to cheat.”
Luca doesn’t respond, just takes another long gulp of his drink.
Troy watches him. He hates this, hates that Luca has to experience heartbreak like he did. Luca doesn’t deserve this.
Troy doesn’t have siblings, he’d been the youngest of his seven cousins by six years and they all lived in Saskatchewan so rarely saw them, he’d never understood when others, such as Texas Smithy with Welsh Smithy, spoke about protective brotherly bonds.
Sitting here next to the very drunk and heartbroken Swiss he thinks that he might finally get it.
“Luca…”
Luca looks over, resignation already sitting in his eyes.
Troy falters as he debates his next words.
Letting Luca know he isn’t alone would help but Troy also doesn’t want to make this about himself. He hasn’t spoken to anyone except Harris about Adrian.
Troy wishes Harris was here, he’s great at this comfort and sharing stuff that Troy has never figured out.
He looks back at Luca. Fuck it.
“When my ex boyfriend broke up with me...”
Luca eyes widen slightly as he takes another sip of his drink.
“I thought that the fact Adrian did it over Facetime after two years of dating was going to be the worst part. Then he told me he believed we’d never actually been in love and that our relationship was just easy because we’d both been in the closet” Troy scoffs, “Trust me nothing about a relationship like that was easy.”
Luca’s face twists in sympathy, brows pulling together.
“That’s shit.”
“Well it gets shitter.”
Luca makes a sound of intrigue.
“I go online and see that four days after he called me there he is announcing his engagement to Justin, who he'd met ten months prior and claims to have instantly fell in love with.”
Troy pauses for a breath.
“So trust me when I tell you that it's not your fault and James is a piece of shit who didn’t deserve you and will regret this.”
A small giggle escapes Luca as he finishes his drink. It’s the first happy noise Troy has heard from him all night.
“I’m sorry you went through that Troy” Luca slurs, expression suddenly changing “Wait.”
Troy doesn’t like the sound of that.
“Your ex was called Adrian?”
Troy freezes, fuck he didn’t realise he’d said his name.
“And cheated on you with a guy called Justin?”
Troy doesn’t speak as Luca continues to ramble.
“what a crazy coincidence, Adrian Dela Cruz was just in the news for cheating on his husband, maybe it’s an Adrian thing”
“Or maybe it’s just an Adrian Dela Cruz thing.” Troy laughs nervously.
Luca frowns. Troy can see his brain processing what he’d just said.
Luca’s jaw drops.
“You dated The Crimson Blade?”
Troy chuckles and nodsZ
“you were cheated on by The Crimson Blade?”
“Yeah.”
“Scheisse.”
“Yeah.”
Somehow that breaks whatever miserable spell that has been hanging over them.
For the next hour they sit at the bar and shittalk their exes.
Not about anything important, not really. Just the kind of petty complaints and old grievances that are easier to laugh about once somebody else is laughing with you.
Luca gets progressively more animated as the drinks catch up with him, switching between English and Swiss German whenever he gets particularly offended on his own behalf. Troy finds himself joining in more than he expected, saying things about Adrian he hasn’t said out loud in years.
By the time Luca has downed another two drinks, they’re both laughing. Troy even got himself a refill of his Diet Pepsi.
It feels good. Not what happened to either of them, obviously. But being able to sit and relate to each other. Troy feels happy about being able to be there for Luca in a way nobody was able to be for him.
“I mean it worked out in the end for me” Troy eventually says. “I met Harris”
Just saying his name makes something warm settle in Troy’s chest.
“And I think I'm the happiest I've ever been, I wouldn’t change a thing.”
Lucas smiles.
the six? or was it seven? Drinks have definitely caught up with him by now. Troy really should’ve been counting.
Troy lightly nudges his shoulder as he takes a sip of his Diet Pepsi.
“You’ll find that too Haasy, with the right person. I promise.”
The smile disappears. Troy notices immediately. Lucas' eyes start to fill with tears.
Fuck. He upset the kid.
“Oh no, hey.”
Troy barely has time to put his drink down before luca starts sobbing.
“Woah, it’s okay. You’re okay”
He awkwardly pats Luca’s shoulder.
“No it’s not.” Luca sniffles. “I ruined it”
“The relationship?” Troy Frowns. “We just spoke about this, James fucked that up, not you.”
“No!” Luca looked at Troy like he was stupid.
“Your proposal.”
Troy goes still. Shit, he’d forgotten about that being the core reason he was here.
“Harris, he apparently had a whole plan” Luca whines. “Chouily told us about how the WAGs were helping him. They spent weeks planning it and it was going to be perfect.”
More tears fall down Lucas face.
“And now it’s ruined because you’re here. With me.”
Guilt pools low in Troy's stomach.
“Hey, Luca. Luca, it's okay.”
“Nein, it is not okay!”
Further down the bar a few concerned patrons glance over. Troy ignores them.
“The Plastics told us we only had one job. One!”
Troy feels sick.
“To make sure you didn’t go out after the game!”
Vindication. Troy fucking knew it. The centaurs are shit liars.
Luca wipes his face with the heel of his hands, glasses now pushed up to his hair.
“Everyone had excuses! We had a group chat and everything. We practiced them.”
Troy stares at him in silence as Luca continues.
“You were meant to go home! Cassie is a florist, she was going to get Caitlin and Lisa to help set up some stuff at your house. Then you’d get home and Harris would be there and he’d ask you to marry him and you’d be so happy!”
Luca hiccups at the end of it.
“But no! you are here babysitting me because you are such a good friend and James is Arschloch.”
Troy opens his mouth to disagree.
Luca keeps going.
“And now Ilya will not get to see Chiron in a Bowtie.”
Troy has no idea how he should respond to that.
“And Ilya will be so sad and then Shane will be sad as well!”
“Luca,Luca it’s fine. It’ll be fine”
“No!” Luca shakes his head. “Everyone will be so sad and it is all my fault. They will kick me off the team and nobody else will want right winger who makes people sad so then I'll have to move back to Zurich because I ruined everything”
“You didn’t ruin anything”
“I did.”
“Luca, listen to me”
Troy rests his hand on Luca's shoulder before hesitating
“I already knew”
Luca sniffles
“What?”
“I knew. About the proposal”
“How?” Luca stares at him in bewilderment. “We were all so good.”
“Ilya, Bood and Wyatt spoke about it on the flight to Denver last week.”
Lucas' mouth falls open, for a moment he just stares at Troy.
Troy gives his shoulder a squeeze.
“So you didn’t ruin anything I promise.”
Troy braces himself for more crying.
Instead, Luca frowns.
“But…”
Troy waits.
“But if you knew,” Luca says slowly, drunk brain visibly struggling to put the pieces together “Then why are you here?”
There it is.
“Why did you come out with me?”
“I wanted to”
Luca’s face twists in confusion.
“But Harris”
“What about Harris?”
“You love him?”
“Yes”
“Then why not let him propose?”
Troy swallows, unable to explain how loving Harris and marrying Harris are two completely different things in his head.
“I like how things currently are.”
Luca stares at his face.
“I have Harris. We have Chiron. We live in an amazing house and have amazing friends. I’m happy.” Troy shrugs, forcing something casual into his voice. “I don’t want to change that”
Luca blinks.
“But..” His expression changing.
Oh shit. Troy recognises that look.
Luca slaps a hand over his mouth.
“Bathroom?”
Luca nods frantically.
Troy barely gets him there in time.
For the next several minutes, Troy finds himself crouched awkwardly behind a Luca in one of Monk's bathroom stalls, awkwardly rubbing circles between his shoulder blades and struggling to find words of comfort.
“Scheisse” Luca groans. “i’m dying”
“you’re not dying”
“I think I am.”
Luca makes a miserable sound before retching again.
Troy fishes his phone out his pocket with his free hand. ignoring the flood of unread messages he goes to his chat with Harris.
Harris Drover 𑣿
Troy: Think Haasy has a bit to much to drink
Troy: going to bring him back to ours so he doesn’t choke on his own vomit in his sleep
Harris: Oh No! ☹ Poor Luca, will make up the spare room for him.
Troy: thanks, will be home in around 30 minutes
Troy: love you ♥︎
Harris: Love you too ♥︎
Troy stares at the last message for a moment before putting his phone away.
“Are you good if I leave you for a minute?”
Luca makes a vague noise of conformation.
“Great don’t drown.”
Another noise. Troy takes that as agreement.
Walking back out to the bar Troy waves Mel over so he can close their tab, adding a generous tip as apology for the state of the bathroom.
“You don’t happen to have a bag or something?” Troy asks, thinking of the interior of his car.
Mel reaches beneath the bar producing a handful of travel sick bags followed by a bottle of water.
Troy raises an eyebrow before accepting the bags and bottle.
“Thank you”
When Troy gets back to the bathroom, Luca has stopped vomiting and is now leaning against the stall wall beside the toilet, looking pale and thoroughly defeated.
Troy holds out the bottle of water.
“Here”
Luca takes it gratefully, taking a small sip and spitting it into the toilet before flushing.
“You ready to go?” Troy asks, holding out his hand.
Luca takes it and lets Troy haul him to his feet briefly swaying before leaning his weight on Troy.
“Come let’s get you home.”
They make slow progress walking back through the bar, Luca concentrating far too hard on putting one foot in front of the other while Troy is focused on keeping both of them upright.
“Get him home safely!" Mel calls out from behind the bar as they leave
“That’s the plan!”
Getting Luca into the car is an ordeal in itself. Luca is confident that he knows where the seat is and instead ends up in the footwell giggling to himself.
After five minutes of struggle Troy gets him buckled in the passenger seat and holding one of the one of the sick bags.
“I don’t need this.”
“Maybe not but i’d rather not need to get my car detailed tomorrow morning” Troy responds before starting the car.
They drive in silence until about ten minutes into the drive Luca suddenly makes a low miserable sound from the passenger seat.
Troy glances over just in time to see him fumbling with the bag.
Oh, shit.
Luca manages to get it open before being sick again.
Troy keeps his eyes on the road trying to give him some form of privacy.
“You alright buddy?”
A miserable groan answers him.
“I’m taking that as a no.”
The rest of the drive passes in a similar manner.
Luca spends most of it slumped against the passenger door, clutching the bag in both hands and occasionally muttering something in German that Troy doesn’t understand.
Every so often, he apologises. Troy tells him to stop.
By the time Troy pulls into the driveway it’s just past midnight and he can see Harris waiting on the porch, eyebrows furrowed in concern.
He comes down the steps before Troy has even turnt the engine off, walking over to the driver side.
“How is he?” Harris asks, giving Troy a quick hug.
Troy glances over at Luca.
Luca is slumped in the passenger seat, glasses abandoned somewhere in Troy’s car and the sick bag clutched loosely in both hands.
“Definitely drowned his sorrows.”
Harris opens the passenger door.
“Hey Haasy.”
Luca slowly lifts his head.
“Harris!” He says, sounding delighted to see him.
“Yeah, buddy. Let’s get you to bed.”
Between the two of them they manage to get him out the car, the sick bag behind in the footwell.
The second Luca is upright most of his weight shifts against Harris.
“I’m sorry,” Luca moans.
“You're fine, buddy.”
“No…”
Luca then leans closer and mumbles something into Harris's ear that Troy can’t make out. Harris's eyes briefly flick towards Troy before he quickly hushes him.
“Shh. It’s fine.”
Troy narrows his eyes but decides he does not have the energy to ask.
Together they manage to guide Luca towards the house and up the porch steps, his feet dragging slightly as he concentrates very hard on staying upright.
Harris, like the godsend he is, has already made up the downstairs guest room.
On the bedside table sits a glass of water and a lined bin sits beside the bed.
They sit Luca down on the edge of the mattress, Troy immediately crouches to untie Lucas Vans while Harris helps him out of his jacket.
“Do you need anything else?”
Luca blinks slowly.
“Pee”
Troy pauses, one shoe in his hand
“You need to piss?”
Luca hums.
Getting him back onto his feet is somehow harder than getting him into the house. Luca sways immediately, gripping onto Troy’s shoulder while Harris steadies him from the other side.
Between them, they manage to get him across the hall into the guest bathroom.
Luca stops in the doorway and stares blankly inside for a second, clearly trying to remember why they’re there.
“You needed to piss” Troy prompts.
“Oh. Ja”
Harris elects to step out and leave Troy in charge supervising.
Inside, Luca leans heavily against him, far too drunk to manage much on his own.
“Alright, Haasy. I’ve got you,” Troy mutters.
Troy keeps one hand firmly around Luca’s upper arm while Luca fumbles unsuccessfully with his belt for several seconds.
“Need help?”
Luca gives him a miserable nod.
Troy sighs and helps him undo his belt and fly, then fixes his attention towards the wall above the toilet while keeping Luca steady until he is finished. Once finished Luca’s coordination proves to be no better than before and Troy has to help him get redressed.
By the time Troy gets them over to the sink, Luca looks even more exhausted.
“Hands.”
Luca obediently holds them under the water while Troy pumps soap into his palm and haphazardly washes and dries them.
Once they’re finally done, Troy gets an arm around him again and helps him back across the hall.
Luca practically collapses onto the mattress. Troy lifts his legs onto the bed and pulls the covers over him.
“Water’s on the bedside table, and if you need to throw up again, please try to aim for this bin if possible” Harris explains tapping the bin.
Luca gives a sleepy nod.
“Get some sleep, Bud.”
His eyes are already closing when he looks towards Troy.
“You’re such a good friend.” he slurs
Troy’s chest tightens.
“Go to sleep Haasy.”
Within minutes, Luca is asleep.
Troy stands in the doorway for a moment, watching him.
Harris nudges his shoulder.
“He’ll be okay.”
“Yeah.”
“He’ll feel like death tomorrow.”
“Definitely.”
Harris smiles faintly.
Troy suddenly remembers Luca’s missing glasses.
“I need to look for his glasses in my car”
“Need a hand?”
“No. They’re probably in the door or footwell.”
“Okay, I’ll be upstairs when you come back in.”
Troy nods and heads back outside.
When he opens the passenger door, he spots Luca’s glasses almost immediately in the centre console.
Then he notices the sick bag still sitting in the footwell.
Right. He forgot about that.
Quickly he slips the glasses in his jacket pocket and grabs the bag, deciding to throw it away before he forgot.
Troy walks around the side of the house to where the bins are kept and lifts the lid
He freezes.
Rose petals. So many that they make a thick layer over everything in the bin. A red sea reminding Troy of what tonight was meant to be.
Troy just stands there.Harris really had planned all of this.
Troy looks down at the bag in his hand.
For the first time all night, avoiding the proposal doesn’t feel clever.It just feels cruel.
He imagines Harris waiting for him. Checking the time, seeing Troy’s message and realising he wasn’t coming home. Packing everything away before Troy got home.
Guilt settles heavily in his stomach.
Troy swallows.
It’s for the best.
That’s what he tells himself. He quickly drops the bag of sick into the bin and shuts the lid.
For the best.
He stays outside for another few seconds before heading back around towards the front of the house, guilt still twisting in his gut.
This is for the best.
So why does Troy feel so fucking awful?