Chapter Text
'I want to stop feeling.' This is the only thing on Yixings mind as he makes his way down the dark street, the cold air causing his breath to make white clouds in front of his face. He doesn't usually go out to drink but this occasion was slightly special, albeit depressing. As usual, when he was in a bad mood, instead of talking about it and burdening others, he just shut it all in and dealt with it alone. This situation was no different.
He looks up at the dark and starless sky and laughs, it's humorless and sad. This march to the euphoric state of forgetfulness he craves seems to take longer the more he does it. Of course, he always reaches his destination, without fail, his heart having sunk as low as it can with the thought of what his friends and family would think of his soon to be actions and the weight of why he was there. The regret he feels after a night like this always weighs him down but it is much more appealing than the other option he has explored already. Although, for a time, he had let himself slip into the belief that it was the only way to feel better. The soft, slightly shiny, stripes on his wrists were evidence enough.
Every time he made it to this point, the reason was always different. Whether it be a bad break up, the death of a friend or family member or just his own insecurities and anxiety getting the best of him, he always ended up in the same place. All the different times he ended up in this situation it never failed to seem like it was another chapter in the fucked up book that he called his life. The author was a heartless bastard that enjoyed making him happy and then throwing obstacles in his way just to watch him suffer and cry out in agony.
He feels himself sigh heavily at the closed sign on the front of the bar. This is the very place that always lifted his sadness, if just for a little while, and made him float in the beautiful feeling of forgetting everything. Yixing runs a hand through his hair, contemplating what to do. He could always find a different bar but it wouldn't be the same. He knew the bartender at this bar, so the idea of going to a different one repulsed him. Although if he didn't go, he would end up unloading his problems on one of his friends or having an unwanted relapse, which is something he couldn't let happen.
He continues down the street, his hope of finding a place good enough diminishing with each step. Just as he is about to give up he comes upon a place that seems like it’s what he’s looking for.
'WY Library Bar'
Hmm...it sounds decent enough and he doesn't really feel like walking any farther to find a different bar. The outside looks pretty interesting and reminds him of old time New Orleans with a balcony far above him. Through the open glass doors of the balcony he can hear soft music. It isn't techno so that's reassuring. He approaches the door, it looks more like the entrance to a home rather than a bar. Yixing hesitates, his hand hovers the handle for just a moment.
After the moment ends and his senses catch up with him, he turns the handle, pushing it open. The first thing he notes is the small number of people and the smell of old books. It was a strange bar, that's for sure.
As Yixing walks farther in, he notices that the few people that were there seemed rather relaxed about everything. The people dancing weren't grinding wildly, and even the DJ seemed chill about the music he was playing. He found it slightly alluring. This is what Yixing needed, a place to relax.
Of course, his happy thoughts only lasted to get him in the door before crumbling under the pressure of his negativity. Words like worthless, hated, unwanted, and weak made their way through his mind wrapping their black fingers around his heart so tight he could physically feel the pain. He pushes the thoughts aside and approaches the bar, taking a seat near the end, far from anyone else.
He takes a few deep breathes, resting his head in his hands. Yixing sits like this for a few minutes before a voice pulls him back to reality. "Hello sir, I'm going to need to see your ID." the voice is soft with an undertone of masculinity that makes a shiver run up his spine. He sits up a little, shaking the feeling off, and looks up at the person that spoke to him. Yet again, he feels a chill, the man in front of him has soft but obviously masculine features that give off a gentle but firm vibe. He starts rerunning the sound of that voice in his mind and it makes him smile. It isn't until the man in front of him clears his throat that he realizes what he said. "Oh, sorry, of course, one moment." he says quickly, trying not to sound flustered.
He quickly gets out his wallet and hands him his ID. The bartender looks at it, and a small smirk appears on his face. "Zhang Yixing, that's a nice name." he says nonchalantly and Yixing is unable to tell if he's joking or being serious. "Um...thank you....." he trails off, looking at his name tag quickly before finishing. "..Kris."
The man, whom he now knows as Kris, chuckles before speaking. "What would you like to drink Mr. Zhang?"
Normally, being called Mr. Zhang wouldn't bother him but coming from this man, it sounded too formal. "Some tequila, if you would, Kris. Also, call me Lay, please."
Kris smiles, a smile that is gentle and happy. "Of course, Lay."