Chapter Text
The courtyard outside their window was bustling with students; some walking back to their dormitories from their lectures, and others seemed to be discussing their plans for the night as they walked in groups of friends. The very same plans that Galinda had been going on and on about for the last week; to the point of annoyance to Elphaba.
Don’t get her wrong; she was happy for her friend, and the budding relationship that seemed to happening with Ren. But she was getting tired of hearing their sweet plans each week; Ren always seeming to yield to whatever Galinda wanted.
It wasn’t jealousy; she didn’t want what they had.
But maybe…there was something she longed for; deep down. Somewhere, where she wanted to mean something to someone, to be the person they thought of each day and night, and to be the one that reciprocated it. To just know, there was someone out there within Oz that longed for her, as she would for them.
Many people didn’t take the time to really see her. They see the prickly; blunt; and sarcastic student that possibly takes her classes too seriously. Not to mention, the emerald skin tone helps nothing in that area either. They don’t see what their beloved friend circle sees.
Yes, there is no shortage of bluntness, sarcasm, or maybe even some prickliness; but they didn’t give a long enough chance to see the fierce loyalty, the unwavering support, and the side that many people didn’t see when she was vulnerable and let her walls come down.
Elphaba’s hand stilled on the book on her desk; when she recognized one of the faces passing by their dormitory. She hadn’t meant to stare; and certainly, hadn’t meant to linger in view long enough for him to see her, and smile as he noticed her; before his hand moved on its own accord, waving up to her. She allowed a small smile, and raised her own; waving back.
She didn’t notice how her hand shifted back to her side slowly; or how her smile stayed as he moved further across campus, and her eyes followed him, as if she was unable to move them off of him. It was only as her roommate came up beside her; following her eyes, to see just who Elphaba seemed to watching so intently.
She just smiled, as she rolled her eyes; moving back across the room towards their bathroom, “Elphie, you two are ridiculous.” She mused, and then looked over her shoulder to find Elphaba blankly staring at her; tilting her head slightly, “I don’t follow.”
Galinda snorted slightly, “You absolutely do,” She smiled softly, “Everyone can see it, anyone that looks at you two can see it; you two are the only two who seem to not see it, or at the least will do nothing about it.”
Elphaba gave her a pointed look, and she looked back out the window, “I’m not ruining what we have, on a chance, Galinda.”
Galinda softened slightly; she knew of her roommate’s feelings for the prince, and in turn, through Ren; knew of the prince’s feelings for her roommate. No-one had made a move yet, even after that damned game of Truth and Dare. She gave her one more glance, “Whose to say that you’d ruin what you have; whose to say he doesn’t feel the same, Elphaba?”
Her emerald hand paused on a book on her desk; not glancing back to where her roommate stood, as her hand glided across the cover, “This isn’t a fairytale; not everyone gets what they want,” She paused, and Galinda chose to not take it to heart. She knew her friend was hurting, and was coping in the best way she knew; her walls.
Elphaba’s shoulders moved with her sigh, “And the prince certainly does not end up with the frog from the pond.”
With a final huff, she could see her throwing the final books into her shoulder bag; and Galinda knew she was headed to the library; to her sanctuary.
She didn’t even know what to say in the moment knowing Elphaba would just counter whatever she said. She didn’t listen when she was hurting, so Galinda had just learned when to push it, and when to drop it.
She had a sad smile, as she watched her, before she spoke, “I’m going out with Ren tonight, Elphie; don’t expect me back until late, or early, I should say.” She knew that she should at least update her; otherwise Elphaba would worry until her roommate came home safe. She did know Ren to be a gentleman; he always ensured that Galinda got back to their room safely.
Elphaba merely nodded, as she began to head for the door. Galinda knew if she wasn’t even speaking now; she was hurting. She paused for a moment, as Elphaba’s hand grasped the doorknob, “Elphie-“
Elphaba paused her body; waiting for her roommate to continue, and Galinda sighed, “I’m sorry.”
She knew it didn’t need to be further explained.
It was unspoken words: I’m sorry you’re hurting; I’m sorry I’m in a relationship; I’m sorry that I’m happy; I’m sorry that you don’t think you deserve him. I’m sorry for anything, and everything.
Elphaba’s head hung slightly, as she glanced quickly over her shoulder to the blonde; finding her standing there unsure of how to help her best friend. She gave a sad grimace type smile, when she met Galinda’s eyes, “Me too.”
The wall came down for a split second in that moment; Galinda seeing into her soul, and seeing how deep it ran; she was truly sorry too, but for what exactly she didn’t know; she was sorry that she made her felt guilty for being happy, or perhaps that she was sorry for letting herself fall in love; dreaming for something that would never be hers.
And with that the door clicked shut behind the green girl; intending to head straight for the library.
Galinda let her shoulders fall, and she ran a hand over her face. She would allow herself this happiness tonight; tomorrow, she’d figure out how to help Elphaba. She wasn’t going to let her believe what she believes, because Galinda knew it to be untrue. She saw the way that Fiyero looked to Elphaba like she was his whole world; let alone what happened the night of the game. She sighed deeply, as she turned herself to get ready for her date; heading for the bathroom.
.
.
Elphaba let out a sigh; as the door to Crage Hall clicked shut behind her. She glanced around; there was only a few straggling students around. Most had already headed to their dorms, or into town; for the dance that was being thrown at the Ozdust ballroom tonight. The exact place that Ren was taking Galinda; and no doubt, Fiyero would also be attending.
Even for her; he wasn’t enough of a draw to decide to go, and risk the embarrassment. What would she even do? Dance with him? That would just open her feelings up and out into the room for everyone to see; giving them another thing to tease and taunt her with. She already did enough of that to herself; she didn’t need others doing it as well.
She looked into the direction of the library, and her feet began to move on their own accord. They knew the path well enough by now; that she was pretty sure she could make it there blindfolded. She brought up a hand, to cover a yawn as she walked. The brisk air of Spring in the evening coaxed it out; she hadn’t slept well last night. Yesterday, they had gone out as a group to a café, just on the outskirts of Shiz; and of course, whenever she was around Fiyero for longer than the time span of a lecture; she found herself still thinking of him, even once they were back in their dormitory.
She hated that it happened; it’s not even like she was fawning over him in the traditional sense. She wasn’t thinking about his looks, or even really anything of the sort. She wouldn’t go as far as saying he wasn’t handsome, because he was. You’d have to be an idiot to not see that.
But she was caught up within the small moments; that she was aware of, but that he probably didn’t even think of twice.
It was the moment that he ensured that Nessa was comfortable before seating himself; it was the moment that she caught him watching Ren and Galinda, genuinely happy for their friends. It was in the moment that she knocked her fork off of the table, and then they had met as they both reached for it; before he flashed the smile that caused her stomach to flip, and he then offered to go and grab her another one.
It was in the moment, as they left, for a split second that his hand met the small of her back as they descended the step out of the café, steadying her before it moved away, leaving a chill behind where it had been.
Then to only make it a few strides up the street heading back to Shiz; before her boot found an ice patch still melting, and she thought she was going to absolutely go down into the pathway’s gravel, only to find Fiyero’s arms catching her. Thank Oz, that she could blame the blush on the fact that she almost fell face first in the gravel of the pathway.
He ensured to check up on her this morning before their lectures; making sure his catch hadn’t pulled her back muscles from how quickly she went to fall, or if he had grabbed her too tightly; which she ensured him, that she had appreciated the catch, and that nothing was wrong. She was sure she would have had some kind of injury; had he not caught her. He flashed her a smile; and it immediately sent her back to when her magic held him out of reach. That was until she dropped him, as Galinda said that was amused by their flirting.
As Elphaba was able to pull herself from her thoughts; she found herself already in front of the doors to the library. Apparently, she was correct in her assumption that she could make it here blindfolded so-to-speak. Like she said; he seemed to consume her thoughts these days.
She grasped the door handle, before swinging it open.
She flashed a simple smile to the librarian, Ms. Oveler; as she passed by the front desk. She returned it, as she watched the green girl heading to her usual study space, “Good evening, Miss Elphaba. Are you not attending the party that everyone else is going to tonight?”
Elphaba politely shook her head, “No, Ms. Oveler. I prefer to minimize the moments I give them to taunt me.” She noticed the way her face seemed to fall; honestly confused as to why she was choosing to study over going out with friends, and then from Elphaba’s slightly harsh response.
She sighed, as she halted and turned to her, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to snap out like that,” She rubbed her temple for a moment, before she calmed and looked to the beloved librarian, “No; I’m not going to the party. I don’t believe that I am wanted there.”
Ms. Oveler shoulder’s sagged slightly, as she sighed, and flashed Elphaba a sad smile, “Well, if that’s the way you feel, Miss Elphaba; you know you are always welcomed here.”
Elphaba warmed for a moment; she knew that Ms. Oveler was probably one of the few people that she could believe her words to be truth. She smiled back, “Thank you; I do know.”
Ms. Oveler nodded once; before turning back to the cart that she’d been organizing when Elphaba wandered in. She knew the green girl was one of few words; and kept it simple between them. She glanced up once more, “Oh, Miss Elphaba; don’t forget that the library closes at ten o’clock tonight. I know you’ll probably be gone long before then, but I just wanted to remind you.”
Elphaba nodded, as she glanced back for a second, “I will be; I just need to get a head start on this essay.”
Ms. Oveler simply smirked; knowing this student well, “An essay; due no time soon?” She questioned, and Elphaba’s smile widening was enough of an answer, as she returned it; shooing the green girl further into the library.
It took her no more than two minutes into the library; before she found her sanctuary. It was a little nook, or cove, within one of the higher levels of the library. It was out of the way; out of sight, and she coveted it. Rarely was anyone else up this high in the library, so it was a quiet sanctuary from the rest of the student body. It was a spot quite literally made around the books and bookshelves.
She put her shoulder bag in first, before shuffling in beside it. It was tall enough for her to sit within with space above her head; but not to stretch her legs out. She pulled those up closer to her chest, to act as a desk; pulling out her notebooks onto them.
She angled it towards the opening, and window; she’d only have enough light from sunset to work in here for a while, before needing to move to a desk with a lamp. But for now; her nook would work. She brought out her pencil, and began getting to work on her essay.
.
.
A noise awoke Elphaba with a start. It took her a moment to get her bearings; before she swore under her breath. She’d fallen asleep in the nook, and there was no clock within this level. Glancing out the window, she was hoping for the best, and preparing for the worst; as she could see the moon high in the sky, and the stars glistening in the sky. Perhaps, it was just close to closing time.
She quickly packed her shoulder bag up; haphazardly stuffing things within it, and began to make her way down to the main level of the library, before swearing under her breath more when there were no sightings of Ms. Oveler, or other students still within, and lamps already blown out for the night. Her nook wouldn’t have even been checked; before closing. She’d promised she’d leave before closing, and Elphaba wasn’t someone to give a fib. Ms. Oveler probably thought there was no reason to check.
She noted the clock near Ms. Oveler’s desk, as she passed it; squinting in the darkness at the clock. She sighed as she noticed where the arms sat at; midnight. She knew what was bound to happen when she made it to the door, but something within her still hoped deep down that she was wrong. As her hand met the cold metal, and pulled; she was met with the stern sound of a lock within its chamber. These doors were only lockable and unlockable by key; on the outside.
She sighed; head dropping. Great; she was locked within the library for the night, and all because her own body had betrayed her for craving the sleep it lost last night. The sleep lost because of him.
She swore once more; slightly louder this time, knowing she was alone. The library wasn’t the worst place to be stuck in for a night; where no one was going to be on campus to hear the banging on the door.
She waited at the doorway before realizing it was useless; no-one was going to help the green girl by getting a staff member after hours, even if someone did pass by the library.
She banged a fist onto the window pane of the door in frustration.
“I’ve already tried that; no-one else is here. I didn’t even know anyone else got trapped in here.” A voice spoke from behind her. She whirled around at the sound of another voice; an arm already swinging.
Their hand grabbed her at the wrist before she could make contact; not standing a safe distance from her.
They were actually quite close behind her, as if familiar, and she narrowed her eyes and huffed, when she saw the blue eyes looking back to her, “Oz, Fiyero; I could have given you a black eye.”
He smirked, as he looked to where his hand still held her wrist; an inch from his face, “Well, it’s a good thing then that I have great reflexes.” He didn’t want to break the contact, but lessened his grip on it, and she took it as an opportunity to bring it back down to her side.
She glared slightly to him, before she calmed down; as they both stood within the lobby of the library, “Why in Oz, are you even in here?” She asked, as she looked to him. He’d be the last suspect of anyone they knew to be within the library; let alone being here so late as to get locked in.
He looked away for a moment, before back to her, “Why is it so hard to believe that I’d be here?” He asked, and she almost thought she could hear a twinge of hurt in his voice as he spoke.
She just tilted her head silently to him, and waited. It only took a few moments, before his mouth quirked at the corner and she knew she had him; waiting until the hands went up in mock defense; before sliding into his pockets, “Okay; I get it,” He sighed, as his shoulders shrugged, “I wasn’t studying. I was hiding; I was sick of people asking me if I was going to that Ozdust gathering tonight.”
Elphaba still blankly, and silently kept her eyes on him. When he didn’t continue further, she watched him, “You; Fiyero Tigelaar…didn’t want to be pestered about going to a party?” She watched him still as her voice trailed off; unbelieving it. She knew he didn’t party like he used to; but he wasn’t usually one to turn down socializing.
His gaze drifted off of her, as he spoke, “Maybe, I don’t like; what everyone believes I like.”
That caused her to pause; and she studied him. His shoulders hunched forward slightly; as if hiding within himself. The eyes not meeting hers; as if hiding once more. The way his hands were stuffed into his pockets, as he glanced out the closest window to the night sky. His breathing; controlled as if he was restraining it. She knew that posturing; it was the same one that she did herself.
There must have been a look of knowing on her face, because once he glanced back her way; he softened, and seemed to relax his body; untensing. She tilted her head again slightly; once more as she kept her eyes on him longer.
He thought some sarcastic comment was going to come out of her mouth when it opened, but instead he was met with, “Then it’s their own loss to not know you well enough; to not give you a chance to show your true self.” She gently laid a hand on his arm, as she passed by him; to go to one of the bay windows at the front of the library. He looked to where he still felt the warmth on his arm from her hand; before watching where she moved to.
He watched as she tucked herself into one half of the bay window cushion. The window, and subsequent sky lights above; it was only the moonlight highlighting her within the little cove. She tucked her legs under her; before looking out the window, longingly out towards the night sky.
He didn’t move at first; he didn’t know if he should. He wanted to sit with her; but he felt like he couldn’t invade her space. Anyone else; he wouldn’t have even thought twice about moving over to them, and striking up conversation to kill the time.
But with her, it seemed more like predator and prey; moving on instincts, and to not make the wrong move; one that couldn’t be taken back. She must have felt his eyes on her, because she looked back to where he stood, before she smirked, “I don’t bite; no matter what Galinda, or the rest of the student body, say.”
He huffed out a light laugh, before he moved closer; taking his hands out of pockets, “Thank Oz; to think this could be my last night on this land, and the last moments would be in a library.” He joked. She side-eyed him for a moment, even as a small smile broke, before it disappeared as quickly as it had shown itself. She turned her attention back out the window.
“Would that really be such a bad thing?” She asked quietly, as she looked to him; upon seeing the confusion on his face, and clarified, “Being stuck in here with me.” She looked back outside the moment the words left her. She sighed, “I guess it is a wasted night; to some.”
He saw the quickest of moments; where the hurt surfaced. He had meant it as a joke; to lighten the moment, but it obviously hadn’t been well-received. He settled himself on the other half of the bay window cushioned seat; looking to her, waiting for it to be her looking to him.
Eventually at the silence; and shifting of him sitting down, and crossing his legs, she glanced over to find him softly smiling to her; as if he had been admiring her while her gaze was pulled to the skies, “Fae, a moment with you is never wasted.”
He kept her gaze, and she didn’t know how to respond to that. Whether, it was her heart or brain malfunctioning; she didn’t know. But, even being given an extra moment to find what she’d quip back to him, she came up empty handed.
His head tilted slightly, as he watched her; fighting to find something to say back. His smile then widened, “Elphaba Thropp, speechless; never thought I’d see the day.”
He had a split second as he laughed; before her fist was thumping his upper arm, as she had leaned over to his half. She was going to let his comment slide; until he got cocky about it. He was still laughing to himself, as he rubbed his upper arm; even as she smirked, leaning back over to her half, and resuming watching out the window.
Fiyero sighed, as he settled his hands clasped in front of him; joining her in watching out the window to the starlight above them. He felt like he was back home; under the stars and moonlight of the Thousand Year Grasslands. A soft smile; a genuine smile slipped out, and Elphaba happened to look over at that moment. She watched him; obviously walking within a memory. Only memories seemed to make those smiles appear with him; a smile that the majority of Shiz did not have the joy of witnessing. She softened herself; at the look of happiness from him.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked; sounding genuinely curious. Fiyero noted her voice; it was soft, and curious. It was not the voice; the front that she put on with everyone else. That was nowhere to be found.
He glanced to her, before back out the window, “I was thinking about home,” She watched him, seeing him to glance to her once more, before continuing as he sighed, “My father and I used to go on this camping trip each year. We probably started it around age five, and the last one I went on with him was the year before I started university; as silly as it seemed to continue, it was tradition. It was just the two of us; outdoors under the stars.”
She shifted where she sat; giving him more of her attention, “It’s not silly; it obviously means, or meant, something to you; to be thinking of it now, just the stars above us triggering the memory.”
He stayed quiet, and she leaned forward; her hand resting on his knee to grab his attention. She could see it; the worry of seeming sentimental, of letting her in, of letting the world know him; the true him, “Fiyero, if it means something to you; it means something to me. We are all allowed to miss home; long for somewhere else.”
He watched where her hand was, before she moved it back to her side, and he nodded. He was lost in his thoughts for a moment; then he looked to her, a gleam dancing in his eyes, “A thought for a thought.” He offered, and she raised an eyebrow at him, “Pardon?”
He softly chuckled, as he shrugged, “If we are going to be stuck in here, together, until morning; we might as well find a way to fill the time. A thought for a thought; I tell you something that maybe people don’t know about me, and you do the same. We stop when we decide to, or run out of things to talk about.”
She cocked her head; as if studying his intentions, to simply find only curiosity and maybe something else deep within. She raised an eyebrow again, once they relaxed for a moment, “So a game of truth and dare; minus the dare?”
He chuckled again, “I don’t remember you thinking so horridly of the game, Fae; if anything, you seemed to have the most fun last time.” She smirked, and he did it back, “Thought for a thought makes it sound better. And, who knows; maybe we will actually get somewhere with it, if it’s only the two of us.”
She watched him; as she paused. He was one of the few people that she seemed to open up to more, but she couldn’t let him know that quite yet. Instead, she smirked, “You didn’t like the dares last time, huh?” It turned into a small smile, as she raised her hands, “I don’t have any nail polish this time.”
He smirked back, and she thought he’d retort back with something about thank Oz, or some retort of the like, but instead he softened, as he lightly shrugged, “It wasn’t that bad. Sporting the green for a week, I mean.”
She then remembered that she hadn’t helped him out with the polish remover; when the boys had left so quickly in a hurry, but even then, Fiyero hadn’t complained. She watched him, as he seemed lost; looking to his hands, before back to her, “It brought back good memories.”
She just simply nodded; unsure what to do next. He looked to her, “I spoke of home; opened up about that. Thought for a thought; your turn.”
She tilted her head, “I don’t even know what to talk about.” He smiled; reassuringly, as he eased back, settling himself in for a long night, “It doesn’t have to be anything heavy, or a confession; it can just be something simple that I don’t know about you.”
She thought for a moment; something he didn’t know about her. She was surprised as she went through topics in her head; he actually knew far more about her than she thought. She sighed, finally finding something to offer as her thought for thought; dreading the reaction she was going to get, “I have a fear of moths.” She deadpanned.
She watched, as Fiyero attempted to curl his lips in and not chuckle at her confession; trying to be a good friend, and be happy that she opened up about something. He really did mean anything when he said it.
She smirked, as she watched him cracking, and motioned, “You can laugh; everyone else does.” She rolled her eyes, “It’s such a ridiculous fear.”
She expected him to; with her permission given. However, it fizzled away the moment that she said everyone else laughed at her about it. It was a simple smile that stayed, as he spoke, “It’s not a ridiculous fear; everyone has something that they’re afraid of. If they say they don’t, they’re lying.”
She smiled back; the first person to tell her it wasn’t irrational, and to listen, “It’s not even just their existence; it’s because they fly right into your face when you go near them.” She huffed, “If the saying is ‘like a moth to a flame’, then why do they fly away from the light for us…”
He now cracked a bigger smile; not at her fear, but the frustration of their flight patterns. He nodded, “It is true,” He thought for a moment, musing, “Maybe no-one has ever told the moths that saying before.”
Surprising him, she gave a genuine laugh back; as she looked to the night sky again, “Yeah; maybe…”
She kept her gaze out the window, and Fiyero knew it was now his turn for thought for a thought. He thought for a minute, as he watched her. She seemed so much more at peace tonight; whether it had to do with his presence, or not; he didn’t know.
Eventually what tumbled out of him was, “My biggest fear is being a disappointment to my parents; after everything they’ve done for me, and the things I’ve put them through with my past.” He sighed, and it seemed to carry the weight of the world with it, “Maybe I already am.”
Her gaze snapped back to him; and she could immediately see it. Every wall of his; just like her own, was crumbled into rubble around where he sat, and he was offering her the most deepened thoughts of his soul. She softened, when she saw his gaze drift down, and it did not resurface.
She leaned forward, tipping his chin back up to her gaze; her shaking head being the first thing that came into focus, “You are not a disappointment, Fiyero Tigelaar.” Her voice was dark; determined, and it honestly startled him slightly when it came out. It wasn’t a statement; it was a demand. She was taking no other answer.
He watched her, and he could see it within her eyes; that statement had upset her, “Then you aren’t either, Elphaba Thropp.” He countered, and he saw her recoil slightly, before standing her ground on the topic.
She was aware; they’d already had this conversation from her side. She didn’t know if she had believed him then; but now hearing from it the other side; she realized how much she had hurt him before when voicing it about herself. So, now the topic was neutralized. She dropped her hand from his face, as she looked out to the moon once more.
Fiyero watched her; seeing her looking for the next bit of information that she’d offer him. She looked to him, “What about a question for an answer? And then vice versa; since you hinted at missing the dare portion of this game?”
He smiled softly, before he nodded. He waited, until she turned back to him, “Tell me about your family?” She asked.
She saw how he softened; and nodded before he began to speak, “I’m an only child; no siblings. So, it’s always just been my mother, my father, and myself. Though, I am really close with my cousin, Merryn. He’s my father’s brother’s only son. We were only born months apart, so he’s the closest thing I have to a brother. Though, I think my mother was always happy to send him home when our shenanigans became too much,” He laughed slightly at the memory, and Elphaba smiled, as he continued, “My father, Magnus, is the King of the Vinkus; in every sense of the word. Though, he does have a soft side that many don’t get to see in his occupation. He really only lets that side show to family and friends.”
Elphaba quirked her head slightly, as she listened, “What do you mean by that?”
Fiyero smiled softly, thinking of his father, “I mean; it’s the small moments with him, when he lets himself just be Magnus Tigelaar; father and husband, and not King. The way he looks at my mother the same way I assume that he did when he first met her; how he still pulls her chair out for her at dinner. The camping trips meant something to him, like they do for me,” He sighed, “I still don’t forgive myself for the ‘playboy/party-boy’ era of myself; and what it put them through. They didn’t deserve it.”
He trailed off, and she looked to him, “You see it now, Fiyero; you learned from it. It won’t happen again.” He simply nodded with her; that life was far behind him now. She looked to him, “What about your mother?”
He seemed to soften even more; she meant a great deal to him, “Her name is Ada, and she’s lovely; in every sense of the word. You’d love her,” He paused, glancing to Elphaba; who looked to him curious, “I think she’s the only other person in my life that is almost identical to you.”
She quirked an eyebrow to him, and he softly laughed, before continuing, “Two things, that make me say that; one, she is quite the bookworm. I swear she has read every book in our library.”
“Our library?” She echoed, and he smirked, “Our castle has its own library; three levels to be precise.” He watched as her eyes seemed to light up within the moonlight, and he smiled, as he leaned onto the wall behind him once more, “Perhaps, we’ll have to go to the Vinkus for the spring semester break, and I can show you.”
Her eyes widened slightly; she couldn’t remember him ever inviting other friends to his home, and he hastily added, “I can invite the others too; it doesn’t have to just be the two of us.”
She softly smiled, at the attempt to make her feel less pressure; but perhaps, she was done with being scared of the things that scared her; and she didn’t mean the moths, “Boq is heading home to Munchkinland. Nessa and Galinda have some kind of plans for the Gillikin; shopping and such. I hadn’t decided where I was going yet; though Nessa and Galinda offered me an invite to theirs.”
His shoulder deflated slightly, “I understand.”
He was completely missing the way she was looking to him, “However, I haven’t given them an answer. I was initially thinking of just staying on campus for the peace, and quiet.” He glanced to her, seeing her watching him softly, “I’ve heard the springtime is one of the best times to see the Vinkus.”
He nodded, “It is.”
She sighed, “If you’re actually offering-“
“I am,” He got out quickly, as he watched her, “I really am; if you want to.”
She let a small laugh slip, “Don’t you have to write to your parents to ask about that first?” She knew if the roles were reversed and she brought someone other than Nessa home; her father would lose it.
He shook his head; as he smiled, “No; there’s always been an open invitation to any of my friends to accompany me back on any breaks,” He huffed a laugh, “My father always jokes that we have too many rooms for ourselves.”
She smiled softly back; hearing a fondness in his voice, a softness; when he spoke of home, “Tell me about the castle.” She asked, and he smirked, “That’ll be two that you’ll owe me.”
She shrugged; she could deal with that.
He smiled, “It’s centuries old; my ancestors before my father that have ruled, all resided in the same castle. It’s three levels; but each level is quite expansive. I used to get lost in the halls as a child,” He looked away as he spoke, only to hear a squeak of a laugh being held in, and spotted Elphaba bringing up a hand to her mouth; indeed, trying to wrangle it in. He simply smiled, as he waved a hand, “It’s alright, you can laugh; it’s a funny story now. The library is on the third level; as are our bedrooms. The bottom level is the kitchens and other staff rooms. The main level is half a working space for my parent’s court; their study’s etc., and the rest are sitting rooms, and the like.”
He looked to see her intently listening, “The grounds however; they’re my favourite part. The gardens are amazing, and you can take a whole afternoon to walk around it, and you’ll never loop the same spot twice,” He dared to push his luck, “We could walk around them when you come visit with me?” He asked, hoping it sounded nonchalantly enough; to not scare her off completely.
However, he just found her face soft, and calm, “I’d like to; if you’re willing to play tour guide.” He smirked, and nodded. Of course, he would.
She looked to him, “You said there was a second thing that you said made myself and your mother the same.” She prodded; incase he forgot.
He hadn’t, as he sighed, “You both call me out; on any remotely bad choice I make. My father went the route of natural consequences; that one day it would come back to bite me in the behind, and maybe that would make me learn my lesson. My mother decided that route was going to take the longest, and sat me down instead for talks.”
She nodded, as she looked to him, “A guilt trip talk?” She questioned, and he nodded, before his head went side to side slightly, “Sort of; there was definitely some guilt tripping it in; of not thinking the image it was painting for the monarchy as their Crown Prince, but also the stress it caused my parents. If I hadn’t settled at Shiz, my options were limited with how many bridges I had burned,” He sighed, and she looked to him, “But the other part?”
He looked to her, before looking out to the stars, “She told me, not only was I hurting myself, and others; but one day, I was going to regret it all one day when I fall in love. She said I would regret the whole history of it all; when one day I would have to explain myself, and prove that I had changed. She told me that kind of love would eat at me, and the guilt that would come with it.” He sighed, as he continued, keeping his eyes on the stars, “And she was right.”
Elphaba seemed to hold her breath; understanding his words.
If she was right; it meant he had found that love that she talked about. She watched as he looked outside; unable yet to look back to her, “You’ve found the love she spoke of?”
The words still hung heavy in the air, but he smirked slightly as he glanced towards her, “That would be three, Fae. Do you want me to answer?”
She rolled her eyes, and nodded. He sighed, as he looked back to her, and nodded, “I have.” She didn’t know if she wanted to know more, or if that would only hurt her own heart more; but he offered nothing else afterward.
He smiled back to her, “Three.” He reminded, and she nodded.
“Thoughts; or questions?” He retorted, and she thought on it. Either way, something was bound to become the next topic of conversation, “Let’s do one thought, and two questions that you can ask.”
He nodded, letting her do her thought before asking his burning questions. She sighed; seeming to fight some guilt with her confession that was brewing, as she looked to him, “I don’t want my whole life to be in Munchkinland. I love Nessa with my whole heart; but I don’t want to be a caregiver my whole life, like my Father wants.”
She went quiet, and Fiyero decided to use his first question to have her elaborate, “What do you want?”
She sighed once more, as she looked out the window, “I don’t know.” That was a lie, a complete and utter lie; and she knew it. She was just terrified of saying it aloud. He waited; and he saw the inner struggle she was having, and gave her the time to figure it out. He watched, until she closed her eyes, and leaned her head back onto the wall behind her, “What I want, I can’t have; so, beyond that, I don’t know.”
She waited, and then raised her head once more to look at him, and found him just waiting; studying her. She could see it within his eyes; she knew that he knew that he had one more question available to him, and he wasn’t going to waste it. She tried to not visibly flinch, as the question left him, “Why can’t you have what you want, Fae?”
She began to shake her head, as she looked away from him, “Ask me any other question, Fiyero; anything but that.”
He cocked his head slightly, before he decided he was going to push her more now, “No.” Her gaze snapped to him, anger beginning to brew, and he continued, “Why? Why can’t you have what you want?”
He watched as she began to uncurl her legs out from under her; moving to leave the window seat. He had pushed her too far, and he knew it. She moved to retreat to her nook; hoping he’d drop it, “The game is over, Fiyero. I’m done.”
“What are you running from, Fae?” He asked, as she moved further from him, before he was to his feet himself, following her in the darkness of the library, “Why won’t you answer me? What do you want that you are so Oz-damned scared of, that you can’t even voice it?”
He couldn’t see from behind her; at the tears that pricked her eyes in frustration, as she aimed towards her nook; when he reached out for her, “Elphaba!”
“You!” She blurted out, as the frustration peaked, and his hand was on her upper arm; as she whirled around to face him. Her eyes widened the confession, and Fiyero could see how voicing it aloud scared her; truly terrified her. She had no idea what to do now that it was out there. His grip lessened on her arm, and she pulled it back to her side, “I’m done with this game, Fiyero.”
“Fae…” He offered, in the softest voice that Elphaba had ever heard him use. It only made it worse, and she tried to make for her nook once more; hearing no footsteps behind her again, until his voice floated through the darkness, with a sigh. His own confession to follow, “That love I found…it’s you.”
Her feet stopped dead. Her back still faced him; neither moving or seeming to breathe. She waited; it seemed unfinished. She could hear him walk a couple steps, “The love my mother talked about; she talked about it with me, because I confided in her that I was falling in love with someone; someone I was close to. I didn’t tell you before why that conversation came around; at least that specific conversation.” She could hear him let out a sigh, “I couldn’t tell you; I was terrified that if I told you, I’d lose you.”
Elphaba’s head hung a bit lower; hearing his confessing behind her. She couldn’t bring herself to turn around. His voice seemed closer, “When the Truth or Dare game was suggested, a couple months ago; I was willing to be a participant in hopes that somehow, I’d get to learn more about you. We didn’t get many moments alone, unless I followed you here.” He sighed once more, “It’s why I hid in here today from the rest of our friends; I was hoping maybe you’d have the same idea.”
She didn’t glance back, but she spoke quietly, “I was up on the third level; near the Sorcery books. I have a nook I hide in.”
She heard a slight laugh from him, “Wrong section then; my nook is in the Law section. I assume they’re similar; just on different levels.”
She stayed where she was, and Fiyero took the moment to keep confessing, and pouring his heart out with each step he took, “I didn’t want to go to that party, because I knew you weren’t going. If you weren’t going; it didn’t appeal to me. So, I decide to try to see if I could bump into you here; but I fell asleep, hence how I also got locked in here.”
She smiled slightly; as she brushed the tears off her cheek, and finally turned to face him, “That’s what happened to me. I fell asleep because I didn’t sleep well last night, and it caught up to me.”
Fiyero immediately softened, upon seeing the tears. That was something Elphaba fought thoroughly, and very rarely did people witness this, “Fae…” He moved to where she stood; looking at him. He brought his hands up slowly, and wiped the tears off her cheeks where she had missed.
She sighed, as she closed her eyes; unbelieving that she was going to admit this to him, but right now, everything was laid out in the open, “I didn’t sleep last night; because I kept replaying the evening in my head. Ever since I allowed myself to believe that I was falling for you; you’ve consumed my thoughts, and after your hand went to my back, and then caught me when I slipped… I couldn’t stop replaying the night in my mind.”
Fiyero smiled, as he kept his hands gently cradling at the side of her face, “I couldn’t either, Fae,” She opened her eyes to look at him, and found him smiling, “Everything I did last night; every stare, every word, every movement I did… It was intentional.”
She choked out a soft laugh, at how ridiculous it all seemed; how easily one sentence just opens a floodgate that’s been closed for Oz knows how long. She smirked slightly, “My fall was not.”
He laughed back, correcting her, “Almost fall.”
She nodded, as she looked to him, “Thank you for that, if I didn’t already tell you. I didn’t want to absolutely eat it, in front of everyone.”
He smiled; but she saw the shift, the lightness gone, “Fae, anytime that you fall; I’ll be there to catch you.”
She closed her eyes once more; unable to look at him, and the absolute love within his eyes that somehow was visible to her now; the genuine look of caring and devotion. Was this what Galinda had said she could see; what they were blind to?
When she opened her eyes at his silence; she found him in the same spot but now he was much closer, as if he had been slowly moving closer while her eyes closed. He was close enough to lean his forehead on hers, if he wanted to; so close that their breath was mixing with each moment that they didn’t speak.
With anyone else; this close, holding her face like this; she’d be in a panic. She’d be a caged animal looking for any escape route. But not with him, and not right now.
Maybe it was the darkness, maybe it was because it was just the two of them with no audience, allowing their hearts to speak true; but she didn’t feel the need to run, or retreat. She was allowing her this moment; maybe sunrise would somehow change the moment, and it would disappear on her. She sighed, as she noticed him watching her mouth; her lips, “Fiyero-“
“I won’t; not if you don’t want me to. Boundaries are one thing I never cross; if you tell me no, it means no.” He waited; waited for a response. She let out a breathy chuckle, still evening out her breathing, “That’s not what I was going to say.”
He pulled back slightly, “What were you going to say?”
She laughed lightly, at the concern in his eyes, “I was going to ask you to hurry up,” She admitted, “I’ve wondered this for months; what this moment would be.”
That was all the confirmation he needed; before he met her lips, and his hand travelled from the sides of her face; into her curls at the base of her neck. He could feel her move hers up to his neck, and her one hand moved to his cheek. He didn’t want to break it, but had to pull away for a breath; having wanted to do that for months now.
He left his forehead against hers; to find her looking to him in awe, just as he was to her, “That was-“ He trailed off, unable to think for a moment; when she smirked looking up to him, “I agree.”
He laughed, “Can I do it again?” He asked, looking to her. She merely nodded; needing no words, before Fiyero closed the distance between them. When they broke apart again, her head fell to his chest, “What happens come morning?”
He wrapped his arms around her, as he peered down to her, “What do you mean?”
“I feel like all of this is going to get pulled away from me; that allowing me, us this moment; that it’ll all disappear the moment that sun is above to horizon.” She admitted.
He tightened his hold a fraction, “Sunrise changes nothing, Fae. We are about to see many more sunrises and sunsets; and they change nothing about us.”
She sighed, “Everyone is going to stare. They’re going to stare, point, and make bets on when you will realize that you have made a wrong decision, and how long until the breakup takes place.” She looked up to him, willing him to convince her otherwise.
He brushed his thumb across her cheek, as he tried to find the words to convince her that none of that mattered to him; he saw nothing beyond her, “Let them stare; let them point and gossip. Let them be idiots for taking bets; give them up to the first professor that will put a stop to it. Do you know why?”
She met his eyes, waiting; then he smiled, “Because their opinions don’t matter; they do those things because their immature and its part of the reason their own relationships don’t last. Trust me, from the stories I hear in my dormitory,” He sighed, “They’re jealous; that’s why they tear others down. They are unhappy with themselves. We don’t let them get into our heads, we don’t let them upset us, and we certainly do not give a damn about their thoughts.”
She watched, seeing him the most serious she believed she’d ever seen Fiyero in all of the time that she’s known him. She could see the spark, the protectiveness within his eyes, and she realized for once, if they stared and talked; she didn’t have to endure it alone.
She’d seen Fiyero when he was mad; when he’d been furious, and it wasn’t a kind sight. She doubted the student body would want to be on his bad side. Maybe, she just had to trust him in this; trust that being together would outweigh the whispers. Someone or something else would eventually come along to be the next topic of gossip.
He tipped her chin, up to him, “I can withstand them, if you can; if you want this as much as I do. The whispers are nothing compared to finally getting to be with you.”
She thought for only a moment, before she was nodding, “I can; it’s nothing I’m not used to.” His eyes flashed for a moment, in anger, before she simply shrugged her shoulders, “It’s something I’ve grown used to, Fiyero.”
He didn’t move, “You shouldn’t have to; in the first place. I hate that you ever had to.”
She brought a hand to his chest, as she brought her gaze to his; unwavering, “I can handle it; especially if I know you are mine.”
She made a face a face after her words left her; a look of confusion or awe, and he laughed, “What?”
She smiled softly, “As great as that is to say; it’s going to take some getting used to, before it just feels second nature.” He chuckled softly, as he nodded, “It will; with due time.”
She nodded, and allowed him to hold them close within the darkness of the library. He reached down for a moment, pushing a curl behind her ear, “As long as your mine, Fae; I feel like nothing else matters. It feels…right.”
She nodded against his chest, waiting a few more moment before she pulled back. She looked up to where her nook waited, and then back to the window seat where they had been. She made to move to the window seat, before looking back to Fiyero; finding him unmoved, “Are you coming?”
He tilted his head, and she smiled now; seeing how endearing that movement was. No wonder Fiyero always smiled when she did it, “I believe we have more thoughts for thoughts to exchange.”
He smiled, as he met her where she was; moving back to the window seat; seeing the stars above them once more. He didn’t reach for her hand, or move to sit beside her; assuming their positions from before. Tonight, had already been a lot for her; he knew, and he wasn’t going to push it. They had from now to forever to figure out the rest.
They exchanged more thoughts for thoughts; watching the night sky above them as they did so. Some were light hearted, and some moved into heavier, or more intimate topics moving into territory about their feelings, when they began, and where to go from here.
Once Fiyero noticed Elphaba fighting to keep her eyes open; he suggested the move to one of the nooks. At her eyebrow raise, he laughed, explaining that while he wouldn’t complain to be in close quarters with her; he couldn’t imagine the look on Ms. Oveler’s face when she’d unlock the library come morning, and find she locked a male and female student in there, alone; all night, and just how that might look.
By the look on her face, he’d chuckled, and she’d agreed maybe moving up to the nook; out of sight until students coming in for the morning would provide cover for leaving, and no one would be any wiser. They had walked for his nook first; until Elphaba’s feet pulled them in the opposite direction; allowing him to find her sanctuary.
She had climbed in first; bringing her bag with her, and leaving it near her feet. He moved to sit beside her; and they both just fit into the nook comfortably. She fought sleep; but ultimately, she was unable to fight it after her lack of sleep the night before. Fiyero had smiled, when her head unknowingly drifted to the side; leaning on his shoulder. He’d allowed himself the same, and his leaned against hers; attempting to get a bit of sleep himself.
Once dawn, and sunlight, was engulfing the library, and the sounds of the door had woken Fiyero; he glanced to her. He’d thought she was beautiful in the moonlight last night, but it just extended to the sunlight. He couldn’t believe that one night stuck within a library together with a game of simple and harmless questions had led to their confessions of falling for each other.
He shook his head to himself; falling for her had happened ages ago.
He was in love with her; he knew that much.
He waited until he heard the shuffling of more students, before he maneuvered her bag. He had an earlier lecture than her; knowing she would wake once his body heat was removed. He managed to grab a piece of paper and a pencil from within. He wrote a note; before folding, and sliding it into her hand that rested on her stomach. He placed a kiss in her curls, before he made sure her head was off his shoulder, and gently against the other side of the nook. He softly smiled; she really was quite tired if none of this was waking her.
He gently slid out of the nook; watching her only for a moment, before beginning his descent to the doors.
Elphaba woke only a moment later; having felt the shift of body heat, and that her head was not against whatever had been on that was soft prior. She noticed Fiyero missing; and then felt the note move in her hand. Her other hand moved to beside her; feeling it still warm.
She read the note quickly; before quickly getting up, and looking down stairs. It was a library; she could hardly call out to him. She could still see him descending the stairs; and he must have felt eyes on him, because he turned around at the final steps, and smiled up to where he could see her looking to him, and holding the note.
More students began to filter in now, and he merely winked to her, before turning to leave the library. She watched as he walked out the door, and she went back to the nook for a moment, as she stared at the note within her hands:
“Like I said, Fae; a moment with you is never wasted. Last night may have been one of the best nights in my life; I have no doubts that we will top it somehow, but that’s to think about in the future.
Thank you, for opening up to me last night; thank you, for showing me some of your deepest depths that I know you guard closely.
Since you couldn’t stop thinking of Sunday night’s gathering, please do me the honor of giving you a proper first date; it would be my honor to take you out. I know this is new of you, so I’ll go slow. Meet me at Lottie’s tonight; 7 o’clock.
Flip this over.” It instructed her, and she did and could only shake her head, as she allowed a small smile on her face. On the other side, it read:
“I’m not Galinda; and I want you to wear what you’re comfortable with; but if you’re looking for suggestions, that navy blue dress, and cardigan look beautiful on you. You don’t know how long I’ve waited to compliment that outfit. I’ll see you tonight, and I cannot wait.”
She smiled to the note; as she shoved it into her shoulder bag, and began making her own descent down the stairs. She had from here until Crage Hall to come up with a plan on how in Oz she was going to explain why she didn’t come home last night to Galinda.
For once, she had hoped that Galinda had actually stayed over at Ren’s room, due to exhaustion, or other reasons, she really didn’t care. Luckily, he was one of the few besides Fiyero, who had a private room.
.
.
She wasn’t as lucky as she had hoped for; when she swung open their dorm room door to find Galinda, unamused with her hands on her hips. She got her key out of the lock, and clicked it shut.
Elphaba threw her bag onto her bed, with her hands raised in surrender, not yet moving from the doorway, “I swear I can explain.”