Work Text:
Teikoku x Raimon: The Crossover
DJPON3 added You, God (hand) and 24 other contacts
DJPON3: Finally!
DJPON3: We are all here now!
Kazemom: Who are you and how did you get this number?
THE CAT LORD: HOW DO YOU HAVE MY NUMBER?
DJPON3: My name is Narukami Kenya, a player from Imperial Academy
DJPON3: As for how I got your contact info...
DJPON3: That secret goes to the grave with me
DJPON3: 
Pandemic Kid: he asked Otonashi for your contact details
THE CAT LORD: BUT WHEN?
Boss Piplup: Why?
THE CAT LORD: EVEN KIDOU DOESN'T GET THIS BETRAYAL
THE CAT LORD: 
Oracle: He said it was important and a matter that interested us
Hiccup: But what could be important enough to start a group chat with us?
Pirate Pingu: I'm surprised he ACTUALLY did it
God’s strongest warrior: But didn't you guys know about it?
Lion King: He didn't consult us before doing it
Lion King: He just asked if we had any personal issues with any of the Raimon members
Lion King: And then he just created this group
Pirate Pingu: When we get out of this hospital, I'm not sending him back here
DJPON3: Thanks, buddy
Pirate Pingu: I'M SENDING HIM STRAIGHT TO HELL
Pirate Pingu: 
DJPON3: 😢
Lion King: Sakuma don’t
Kuma 2.0: As much as I don't like this either, not now Sakuma
Hiccup: Okay, but why create this group?
Alvin minus the chipmunks: And what's with the name?
JOJO Stand: Sounds like a bad movie title
Group Mother: Sounds like an AO3 chatfic title
DJPON3: YOU KNOW WHAT AO3 IS?
NinjaGo: You read chatfics?
Four Eyes: You read fanfics?
Group Mother: Don't you?
DJPON3: We're definitely talking about this later, Jimon
DJPON3: I need some recommendations
DJPON3: ANYWAY
DJPON3: The name is to keep the group's purpose under wraps
DJPON3: And first things first, I think we need proper introductions
Pandemic Kid: True
Pandemic Kid: Aside from Kidou, Domon, and MAYBE Sakuma and Genda, the Raimon team doesn't seem to know us that well
God (Hand): Fair point
Boss Piplup: And disregarding Endou and Gouenji (plus my sister and now Domon), you guys don't know much about the other Raimon members
Boss Piplup: Plus, the numbers aren't saved, so introductions would be ideal to know who's who
Hiccup: I hate how much sense this makes
Big Boy: So... who starts?
Little Drama: Since one of our idiots started it, it's only fair that we go first.
Little Drama: You've already met the idiot (@DJPON3 aka Narukami)
DJPON3: HEY!
Little Drama: My name is Doumen Shuuichirou.
Kuma 2.0: I'm Oono Densuke.
Pandemic Kid: Sakiyama Shuuji.
Group Mother: Jimon Daiki.
Hidan Lookalike: Henmi Wataru.
Pirate Pingu: Sakuma Jirou.
JOJO Stand: Banjou Kazumichi.
Lion King: Genda Koujirou.
Captain Kuro: I'm Gojou Masaru.
Boss Piplup: I think that covers everyone from Teikoku Gakuen.
God’s strongest soldier: Then I guess it's our turn. I'm Kino Aki, one of the Raimon team managers.
Hiccup: I'm Someoka Ryuugo.
Alvin minus the chipmunks: Kurimatsu Teppei.
Kazemom: Kazemaru Ichirouta.
THE CAT LORD: MY NAME IS MATSUNO KUUSUKE, BUT YOU CAN CALL ME MAX
Only Common One: Handa Shinichi.
Cutest Batman: Kageno Jin.
Four Eyes: My name is Megane Kakeru.
Captain Tsubasa: Ichinose Kazuya.
Captain Kuro: The guy who died and came back to life?
Captain Tsubasa: Yeah.
Captain Tsubasa: But I'd rather not talk too much about it.
Captain Tsubasa: It's very personal to me
Hidan Lookalike: 👍🏼
Hidan Lookalike: Moving on
Jean Grey: Shishido Sakichi
NinjaGo: Shourinji Ayumu
Big Boy: Kabeyama Heigorou
Captain Kuro: Can I be honest?
Hidan Lookalike: Here we go
Captain Kuro: The first time I heard your name, I heard "Kageyama" instead of "Kabeyama" and got really confused
Super Gel Man: …
God (hand): GOUENJI
God (hand): You're back!
Super Gel Man: I went to visit my sister at the hospital, and this is what I come back to read this
Lion King: Yeah, we even said it was better not to bring it up because it might sound insensitive
Super Gel Man: Actually, I thought the same thing myself
Lion King: …
Pandemic Kid: see! it’s not just us!
Group Mom: Even so, guys
Group Mom: It’s not cool to say things like that about people
Group Mom: Actually, it’s not cool to talk about someone who can’t or won’t defend themselves
Group Mom: ESPECIALLY when the person in question is listening to everything
Only Common One: ANYWAY
Only Common One: can we find out what’s going on now?
Only Common One: everyone’s introduced themselves, and I still don’t see the point of having a group with the Teikoku Gakuen team
DJPON3 changed the group name to CUSTODY BATTLE! TEIKOKU VS RAIMON!
Only Common One: …
Alvin minus the chipmunks: …
Hiccup: …
Super Gel Man: …
God (hand): …
Captain Tsubasa: …
God’s strongest soldier: …
Oracle: …
NinjaGo: …
Cutest Batman: …
Big Boy: …
Jean Grey: …
Four Eyes: …
THE CAT LORD: …
Kazemom: …
Boss Piplup: …
Captain Kuro: …
Hidan Lookalike: …
JOJO Stand: …
Kuma 2.0: …
Little Drama: …
Group Mom: …
Pandemic Kid: …
Lion King: …
Pirate Pingu: …
Pirate Pingu: NARUKAMI!!! SAKIYAMA!!!
Pandemic Kid: WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING
Lion King: SAKUMA, DON'T GET OUT OF THAT BED!!!
Kazemom: WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!?
God (hand): Where did this custody battle come from?
Super Gel Man: I didn't know they were still trying to bring me to Teikoku
Hiccup: Gouenji, my friend, has it ever crossed your mind that MAYBE this has nothing to do with you?
Pandemic Kid: and it really doesn't.
Super Gel Man: HUH?
Hiccup: HA!
God (hand): So how did this start? Who are we talking about here?
Kuma 2.0: Domon.
God’s strongest soldier: Say what?
Pandemic Kid: I was talking to Narukami a few days ago about how Domon hardly ever stops by the hospital to visit us, how he was spending so much time with you guys that he was forgetting about us
Pandemic Kid: he agreed, saying he really wished Domon would visit us more or at least chat more via text
Pandemic Kid: because it seemed like he was ignoring us
Pandemic Kid: that’s when I made my biggest mistake
Cutest Batman: What did you do?
Pandemic Kid: I said that if he kept avoiding us, we should take Raimon to court for parental alienation
Pandemic Kid: since, technically, it was like the parents (the two teams) had split up (technically we're rivals) and the child (Domon) was staying with just one parent without even looking at the other
Pandemic kid: he took my comment way too seriously.
JOJO Stand: At least he waited until we left the hospital to do it.
Captain Tsubasa: And what's the problem with the hospital?
Pandemic Kid: Sakuma is still hospitalized.
Pirate Pingu: I TOLD YOU IT WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA TO LET THE JACKASS AND THE MORON HANG OUT TOGETHER!!!
Pirate Pingu: THERE ISN'T A SINGLE LIVING BRAINCELL BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM!!!
Lion King: For God's sake, Sakuma, stop!
Lion King: You don't need to kill Narukami!
Lion King: Let alone sneak out of the hospital to beat him up!
DJPON3: Aww, thanks for standing up for me
DJPON3: 🫶🏼
Pirate Pingu: Genda
Lion King: When you get discharged, you can give him a smack on the head, BUT THAT’S IT
DJPON3: Why am I not surprised?
Hidan Lookalike: Because everyone already knows that guy does whatever Sakuma says
Jean Grey: “that guy”
Lion King: That’s not true
Hidan Lookalike: So if Sakuma jumped off a bridge, you wouldn’t go with him?
Lion King: And who said it would go like that?
Lion King: If he jumped off a bridge, it would be because I jumped first!
Group Mom: Genda, you don’t even jump rope, let alone off a bridge
Lion King: I would jump off a bridge
Group Mom: No, you wouldn’t
Boss Piplup: No, you wouldn’t
Kuma 2.0: No, you wouldn’t
Hidan Lookalike: No, you wouldn’t
DJPON3: No, you wouldn’t
Pandemic Kid: no, you wouldn’t
Little Drama: No, you wouldn’t
Captain Kuro: No, you wouldn’t
JOJO Stand: No, you wouldn’t
Pirate Pingu: No, you would NOT jump, and if you did, I’d bring you back to life just to kill you again!
Lion King: …Okay, I wouldn’t jump
Alvin minus the chipmunks: Who knew the guys from Teikoku would be just as chaotic as us?
Boss Piplup: In that regard, Raimon is still in the lead
Captain Tsubasa: \(^ v ^)/
Cutest Batman: I don’t think that was a compliment, Ichinose…
Captain Tsubasa: /(° _ °)\
Super Gel Man: I think we’ve kind of lost the point of the group
Jean Grey: Do you guys really want to take Domon away from us?
DJPON3: If it’s the only possible way to bring him back to us, then so be it!
NinjaGo: JUST TRY IT! Just try.
DJPON3: You and me. Lightsaber duel in the McDonald’s parking lot tomorrow at 5 PM!
NinjaGo: We shall meet on the battlefield!
God’s strongest soldier: No!
Group Mom: No.
NinjaGo: Sorry, my young Sith, our battle will have to be postponed.
NinjaGo: 
DJPON3: Unfortunately.
DJPON3: Wait, WHY AM I THE SITH?
NinjaGo: BECAUSE YOU WANT TO KIDNAP DOMON FROM US!
JOJO Stand: Whoa, HOLD ON!
Banjou: Nobody said anything about kidnapping!
Pandemic Kid: we just want back what used to be ours
Oracle: "Used to be" as in "no longer is"
Little Drama: With all due respect, Otonashi...
Little Drama: No.
Kuma 2.0: This conversation isn't going anywhere except towards a civil war!
Kuma 2.0: Which is ironic, considering the group was formed to prevent that.
God's strongest soldier: And how exactly would that solve the issue of Domon's custody?
Pandemic Kid: it was supposed to be a civilized conversation
Pirate Pingu: Which apparently isn't working.
Pirate Pingu: Since this conversation is anything
Pirate Pingu: But civilized.
Lion King: Sakuma, this is barely a conversation.
Pirate Pingu: True.
God (hand): But what would this civilized conversation look like?
God (hand): Who would represent each side?
God (hand): And who would be the judge?
DJPON3: Unfortunately, I can't be one of our team's representatives because Sakuma banned me from any and all important discussions for the rest of our middle and high school years
Hidan Lookalike: Thank goodness
DJPON3: Jerk.
DJPON3: Anyway, since we have to pick someone...
DJPON3: It would be Genda, Jimon, Oono, and Kidou.
DJPON3: As for your picks, I wouldn't know.
Oracle: OH NO
Oracle: Pick someone else!
Oracle: My brother is going to fight for us!
Little Drama: Kidou?
Little Drama: 
Boss Piplup: I'm sorry.
Boss Piplup: But I'm certainly not going to go against my sister.
THE CAT LORD: A WISE DECISION, MY FRIEND.
DJPON3: Alright then.
DJPON3: Genda, Jimon, Oono, and Gojou.
Pandemic Kid: AND ME!
Pirate Pingu: You are ALSO banned from representing us until further notice.
DJPON3: Sorry, buddy :)
Pandemic Kid: 😥
Oracle: That's better.
Oracle: Besides Yuuto, the ones representing us will be Kazemaru, Endou, and Aki.
Captain Tsubasa: And what about me? (•~•)
Super Gel Man: I saw you lose an argument to a kid yesterday.
Captain Tsubasa: We are ALL kids!
Hiccup: She was 6 years old.
Captain Tsubasa: …
Captain Tsubasa: Okay, maybe I’m not the best choice for a lawyer.
Captain Tsubasa: But my opinion should count for something!
DJPON3: Seems fair to me.
DJPON3: Since no one here could be impartial, we won't have a judge, but rather a popular consensus.
DJPON3: Now...
DJPON3: Without further problems...
DJPON3: Present your arguments!
DJPON3: One at a time.
DJPON3: So no one gets lost.
Group Mom: Raimon can start.
Group Mom: Since we’re the ones who called you to this “battle.”
God’s strongest soldier: Very well.
God’s strongest soldier: To start
God’s strongest soldier: I’m his childhood best friend
God’s strongest soldier: So, the school I’m at will always take priority
God’s strongest soldier: Just like my wishes do
Captain Tsubasa: (T - T)
God’s strongest soldier: …
God’s strongest soldier: And Ichinose’s, too.
Captain Tsubasa: (>u<)
Four Eyes: Is there any way to make him stop?
God’s strongest soldier: I tried.
God’s strongest soldier: Domon tried.
God’s strongest soldier: Even Nishigaki did.
God’s strongest soldier: Several times.
God’s strongest soldier: He stops for a week at most.
God’s strongest soldier: After that, the emotional hieroglyphs come back.
Group Mom: Getting back to your point...
Group Mom: If we’re considering all of Domon’s childhood friends, we need to bring another school into the dispute.
Group Mom: Wherever he might be.
God’s strongest soldier: …
Kazemom: He’s got a point.
Kazemom: 1-0 to Teikoku.
Group Mom: Thanks
Oracle: Next argument, please
Lion King: Can I go next?
Kazemom: Shure
Lion King: Domon has had his time hogged since he fully joined your school
THE CAT LORD: WHAT CAN WE SAY?
THE CAT LORD: RAIMON HAS THAT WAY OF TAKING OVER YOU
Captain Kuro: Why do you only speak in caps-lock?
THE CAT LORD: I PUT IT IN CAPS-LOCK ONCE AND IT NEVER WENT BACK
Four Eyes: I offered to switch it back once
Four Eyes: He just laughed at me and started skipping to class
THE CAT LORD: NEVER SUGGEST SUCH THINGS AGAIN
Little Drama: Can we go back to the actual discussion?
Kazemom: Well
Kazemom: His absence could be because we are going to avenge you by facing Zeus
Kazemom: Also, most of you just got back
Kazemom: Don’t you have a LOT to cach up to do before reuniting?
DJPON3: We can always skip classes
Group Mom: Absolutely not
Group Mom: We have to take make up exams because of Zeus attempted murder on us
Group Mom: And I will NOT have you ruin this for us
Group Mom: Specially not for yourself
DJPON3: FINE!
DJPON3: I’ll not skip classes to hang out with Domon
DJPON3: 
Kuma 2.0: We might just give that one to Raimon already
Kuma 2.0: It’s not like we can actually force him to come hang out with us either way
Boss Piplup: So it’s 1-1 now
Cutest Batman: Yay
Kazemom: My turn now
Kazemom: If Domon leaves Raimon
Kazemom: A lot of people will miss him, not just us
JOJO Stand: If that’s the case, then he should go back to Teikoku!
JOJO Stand: The day they found out he’d transferred, the girls in the art club were devastated!
Four Eyes: It seems Domon is really popular with the ladies at every school he sets foot in.
Four Eyes: It doesn't impress me, but it is surprising just how many people around here have a crush on him.
God’s strongest soldier: What do you mean?
Four Eyes: The day he arrived at Raimon, a classmate of mine, Tsukushi Ootani, mentioned there was a new transfer student from America.
Four Eyes: And the way she described Domon...
Pirate Pingu: What did she say?
Four Eyes: "The tall, super cute guy who just arrived from America."
Four Eyes: "It would be a shame for such a handsome guy to play soccer."
THE CAT LORD: 
Alvin minus the chipmunks: Oh no
God (hand): SAY THAT AGAIN???
God (hand): WHAT DO YOU MEAN, A SHAME???
God (hand): SOCCER IS A GREAT SPORT!!!
God (hand): IF NOT THE BEST ONE!!!!
Four Eyes: Those were HER words, Captain! HER words!
Captain Kuro: He’s really sensitive when it comes to soccer, isn't he?
Kazemom: Just a little.
Kazemom: He’s usually calmer than that.
Big Boy: Except when it comes to soccer.
JOJO Stand: I think that much is obvious.
God’s strongest soldier: Can we get back to the revelation that Domon is popular?
Captain Kuro: What’s so surprising about that?
Captain Kuro: Wasn't he popular like that in the States?
God’s strongest soldier: Yes, he was.
God’s strongest soldier: But exactly how many people have had—or still have—a crush on him?
Pirate Pingu: We’ve got the girls from the school art club
Pirate Pingu: The ones from the computer club
Pirate Pingu: Some of the boys from the swim team
Alvin minus the chipmunks: Wow
Little Drama: I’m pretty sure there are some members of our team who’ve had a crush on him too at some point
Pandemic Kid: and how would YOU know that?
Little Drama: Because I know everything
Little Drama: So, speak up
Little Drama: Just so we can see something
Pandemic Kid: …
Pandemic Kid: maybe I had a little crush on him when I joined the team a few years ago
JOJO Stand: Me too
Hidan Lookalike: Just a little bit
DJPON3: The only thing I agree with Henmi on
Super Gel Man: Anyone else in this group want to speak up?
Captain Tsubasa: …
God’s strongest soldier: …
Hiccup: Honestly, I’m not surprised
Super Gel Man: Let’s open up the voting then
Super Gel Man: Everyone in this group, from Raimon or Teikoku Gakuen, who has had or still has a crush on Domon, say “I”
Pandemic Kid: I
Hidan Lookalike: I
DJPON3: I
JOJO Stand: I
Captain Tsubasa: I
God’s strongest soldier: … I
Cutest Batman: I
Four Eyes: I
Hiccup: So that makes eight
God’s strongest soldier: We haven't talked in years, but Nishigaki had too
Four Eyes: Tsukushi has one too
Big Boy: I think during the match against Sengoku Igajima, one of the players kept staring at Domon during the mach
THE CAT LORD: I SAW ITTTT
THE CAT LORD: I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA START A FIGHT
THE CAT LORD: BUT WHEN I WENT TO TALK TO HIM
THE CAT LORD: HE SAID HE THOUGHT DOMON WAS CUTE
NinjaGo: Was that the guy cosplaying as Kakashi, but in green?
THE CAT LORD: THAT'S THE GUY
NinjaGo: I KNOW WHO HE IS
NinjaGo: His name is Kousaka Jin, and we used to practice martial arts at the same gym
NinjaGo: He was actually a pretty cool guy
Super Gel Man: That brings the count up to eleven
Captain Tsubasa: Some of my former teammates from the States have also expressed interest in Domon
Jean Grey: And how do they know who he is?
Captain Tsubasa: I may or may not have shown them some photos of us
Jean Grey: 😑
Captain Tsubasa: (T o T)
God (hand): So we’re going to have to fight more people to keep Domon in Japan?
Captain Tsubasa: Nah
Captain Tsubasa: But they’ll probably call him up to play for the United States someday.
Captain Tsubasa: Until then, he’s ours >:)
DJPON3: Scared they’ll break into my house and steal our Domon
Hidan Lookalike: No need to worry.
Hidan Lookalike: If they try, I’ll be there to protect us
Only Common One: Gonna throw your hair gel at them like a grenade, handsome?
DJPON3: HDSHDHWHWORDODFHFONNSBDIENOBDR
DJPON3: THAT’S EXACTLY WHY YOU’RE MY FAVORITE
Hidan Lookalike: …
Hidan Lookalike: @NinjaGo?
Ninja Go: Yeah?
Hidan Lookalike: My dad collects swords.
Hidan Lookalike: He’s going on a trip starting tomorrow and is pretty busy.
Hidan Lookalike: I’ll let you borrow one for 4 days if you manage to hit Narukami with it.
DJPON3: HEY-
NinjaGo: Can it be two weeks?
Kazemom: SHOURINJI!!
Hidan Lookalike: One week max, otherwise my parents will notice.
Pirate Pingu: HENMI!!
NinjaGo: Deal.
Kuma 2.0: I can't believe this
DJPON3: BUT WHY ME!!? WHY NOT ATTACK HANDA? HE’S THE ONE WHO STARTED IT!!!
Only Common One: HEY
Only Common One: I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!!!
Hidan Lookalike: Because he called me handsome
Hidan Lookalike: So he's off the hook
Only Common One: …
Only Common One: I didn't say that
Cutest Batman: Yes, you did
Cutest Batman: And I’ve seen you say it in person once before
Cutest Batman: Especially after the second match against Teikoku
Only Common One: THAT'S A LIE
Cutest Batman: You’ve even messaged me talking about it
Pandemic Kid: that’s kind of hard to believe
Only Common One: BECAUSE IT DIDN'T HAPPEN
Cutest Batman: *incriminating screenshots*
Cutest Batman: this you?
Only Common One: …
Only Common One: Damn voice-to-text feature
Hidan Lookalike: So you really said that?
Only Common One: …
Pirate Pingu: Pfffff
THE CAT LORD: HANDA GOT CAUGHT IN 4K
JOJO Stand: Can we start planning the HenHan wedding yet?
Hidan Lookalike: Hen-what?
JOJO Stand: Henmi and Handa. HenHan ❤️
Kazemom: This has to be some form of bullying
JOJO Stand: If it's against Henmi, it's all good
Group Mom: BANJOU NO-
THE CAT LORD: I'M ON BOARD
Cutest Batman: I like it
God (hand): Stop bullying the lovebirds, please
Hiccup: Why? It's funny!
DJPON3: Agreed
Hidan Lookalike: GUYS, HENHAN ISN'T A THING
Hidan Lookalike: LEAVE US ALONE
Only Common One: Can we change the subject now?
JOJO Stand: If poor Handa had to be embarrassed publicly
JOJO Stand: I don't see why we shouldn't return the favor
JOJO Stand: Right, @Hidan Lookalike?
Only Common One: I guess that's a no, then
Only Common One: Wait, what does this mean?
Hidan Lookalike: Banjou, don't you dare—
JOJO Stand: *incriminating screenshots pt. 2*
Only Common One: …
Only Common One: You really think I’m cute?
THE CAT LORD: LONG LIVE HENHAN!!!
Cutest Batman: Hurrah!
Hidan Lookalike: …
Hidan Lookalike: I’m throwing myself out the window right now
Hidan Lookalike: And I’m only coming back to haunt Banjou
Only Common One: I’m coming too
Only Common One: Except to haunt Kageno
Cutest Batman: You can certainly try
Lion King: I wasn't expecting this
Kuma 2.0: We came looking for custody of Domon and ended up uniting a couple
Super Gel Man: A politically important couple for the group, mind you
Hidan Lookalike: WE AREN'T A COUPLE YET!!!
Pandemic Kid: emphasis on "yet"
God (hand): So…
God (hand): Getting back to the group's main topic
God (hand): Can we agree on joint custody?
Kuma 2.0: I think that's the only plausible solution.
God (hand): So we could alternate.
God (hand): He spends one week with us
God (hand): and the next with you guys.
Little Drama: But how do we do that?
Little Drama: He’s still avoiding us ever since the caravan incident happened.
Hiccup: He’s still doing that?
Captain Tsubasa: …incident?
Boss Piplup: Even I, being at Raimon now, am getting ignored off the field.
Captain Tsubasa: What incident?
Kazemom: Have you guys tried talking to him like normal people?
Pandemic Kid: you’re funny.
Kazemom: I’m serious.
Group Mom: We actually tried.
Group Mom: But ever since that day, he hasn't unblocked us.
Captain Kuro: And the one time he did visit us, he was visibly nervous and awkward the entire time
Jean Grey: Maybe it has something to do with the humiliation he went through when Fuyukai exposed him to us as a spy for Teikoku
JOJO Stand: …
Kuma 2.0: …
Captain Kuro: …
Hidan Lookalike: …
Group Mom: …
Pandemic Kid: …
Little Drama: …
Lion King: …
Pirate Pingu: …
DJPON3: …
Boss Piplup: …
Boss Piplup: Sorry, what are you guys talking about?
Boss Piplup: I thought you knew from the start.
Boss Piplup: At least, that’s what Haruna told me.
Pirate Pingu: WAIT, THEY KNEW???
Captain Tsubasa: WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT???
God’s strongest soldier: Can I sum it all up?
Captain Kuro: Please.
Captain Tsubasa: For my sake and for the sake of my new friends(?), the players from Teikoku Gakuen
Captain Tsubasa: what happened?
God’s strongest soldier: So...
God’s strongest soldier: Back when Teikoku was still under Kageyama's control, he sent two spies to sabotage us
God’s strongest soldier: One was our former teacher and coach, Fuyukai Suguru, and the other was Domon
God’s strongest soldier: We pretty much knew Domon was a spy from the moment he transferred to Raimon; Haruna happened to see your conversations on his phone once and tipped us off.
God’s strongest soldier: Plus, Kidou and Domon were caught talking a few times, and Domon is terrible at being discreet.
JOJO Stand: That’s not true.
Oracle: We each saw him sneaking into the club room to steal information at least five times.
JOJO Stand: …
Captain Kuro: Maybe he is a little indiscreet.
God’s strongest soldier: ANYWAY...
God’s strongest soldier: We just pretended not to know so we could see how long it would take for Domon to confess
God’s strongest soldier: But Fuyukai came as a surprise to all of us.
God’s strongest soldier: He sabotaged our caravan on Kageyama's orders and ended up telling Domon; Domon then ratted him out to Natsumi (the daughter of Raimon's president), who exposed him to us and fired him on the spot
Captain Tsubasa: …
Captain Tsubasa: Tell me the man got arrested
Captain Tsubasa: Tell me someone called the police!
God’s strongest soldier: That’s the thing...
God’s strongest soldier: When Fuyukai was unmasked, he simply exposed Domon as the second spy and left.
God’s strongest: Domon was under so much pressure that he ran off crying and missed the rest of the week of school out of shame.
God’s strongest soldier: We never saw Fuyukai again after that.
Boss Piplup: …
Captain Kuro: …
Hidan Lookalike: …
Group Mom: …
Pandemic Kid: …
Little Drama: …
Lion King: …
DJPON3: …
Pirate Pingu: …
JOJO Stand: …
Kuma 2.0: …
Captain Tsubasa: …
Captain Tsubasa: @Oracle
Captain Tsubasa: my super-smart, tech-savvy friend
Captain Tsubasa: could we get the address of the guy in question?
Captain Tsubasa: just out of curiosity
Captain Tsubasa: 
Oracle: I think I can find it
Oracle: What are you planning to do?
Captain Tsubasa: a fun group activity with my new friends from Teikoku Gakuen
Captain Tsubasa: it’s called a “witch hunt,” for anyone interested
Pandemic Kid: I’m interested
DJPON3: Me too!
Little Drama: I think I speak for all of Teikoku when I say we’re interested
Pirate Pingu: @Boss Piplup? @Lion King? Your call?
Boss Pingu: …
Boss Pingu: I guess crime pays this time around
Lion King: As long as no one gets caught, it’s fine
Lion King: BUT
Lion King: It’ll have to wait until after we leave the hospital
DJPON3: YAY welcome-back party 🎉 🎉 🎉
THE CAT LORD: CAN WE JOIN IN AND CELEBRATE WITH YOU GUYS?
THE CAT LORD: KAGENO JUST FOUND A BASEBALL BAT ON THE WAY HOME
JOJO Stand: The more the merrier
Oracle: @Four Eyes?
Four Eyes: I’ll tell my mom to get the paperwork ready
Kuma 2.0: Paperwork?
Four Eyes: She’s a lawyer
Hidan Lookalike: Perfect
Hiccup: @God (hand)? @God’s strongest soldier? @Kazemom?
Hiccup: Do we have your blessings for this?
God (hand): Usually I’d disagree
God (hand): But he deserves it, so it’s all good
God (hand): I’ll just back up what Genda said: as long as no one gets caught, we’re golden
Kazemom: We won’t
Kazemom: I’ve got an idea
God’s strongest soldier: It’s those special gender-reveal smoke bombs, isn't it?
Kazemom: Maybe
Kazemom: 
Big Boy: If it weren't Fuyukai, I’d feel sorry for him
You: You guys know I can see all this because I’m in the group too, right?
Captain Tsubasa: …
God’s strongest soldier: …
Oracle: …
NinjaGo: …
Cutest Batman: …
Big Boy: …
Jean Grey: …
Four Eyes: …
THE CAT LORD: …
Kazemom: …
Captain Kuro: …
Hidan Lookalike: …
JOJO Stand: …
Kuma 2.0: …
Boss Piplup: …
Only Common One: …
Alvin minus the chipmunks: …
Hiccup: …
Super Gel Man: …
God (hand): …
Little Drama: …
Group Mom: …
Pandemic Kid: …
Lion King: …
Pirate Pingu: …
DJPON3: …
DJPON3 made You an Group Administrador
You: OI?
DJPON3: SCATTER!!
DJPON3 left the group
Pirate Piplup left the group
Lion King left the group
Pandemic Kid left the group
Group Mom left the group
Little Drama left the group
Kuma 2.0 left the group
JOJO Stand left the group
Hidan Lookalike left the group
Captain Kuro left the group
Boss Piplup left the group
Kazemom left the group
God (hand) left the group
THE CAT LORD left the group
Four Eyes left the group
Jean Grey left the group
Big Boy left the group
Cutest Batman left the group
NinjaGo left the group
Captain Tsubasa left the group
Oracle left the group
God’s strongest soldier left the group
Super Gel Man left the group
Hiccup left the group
Only Common One left the group
Alvin minus the chipmunks left the group
You: Cowards
You: I think it's time to call in the people actually in charge
You added Boss Lady and Butterfly
Boss Lady: …
Boss Lady: Domon, what is this group?
Boss Lady: Who is this other girl?
Butterfly: I could ask the same about you, ma’am
Butterfly: And what am I doing here?
You: Natsumi-san, this is a former classmate of mine and the manager of the Teikoku girls' volleyball team, Takanashi Shinobu
You: Shinobu, this is Raimon Natsumi, one of the managers of the Raimon soccer club and the daughter of the Raimon president
Boss Lady: Pleased to meet you
Butterfly: The pleasure is mine
You: As for what this group is and what's going on
You: Do you want a summary, or should I show you the screenshots?
Natsumi: If I don't need to sue anyone on the school's behalf, then send me the screenshots.
You: Now I don’t think that will be entirely necessary for now
You: But you might have to take your time to remember that your team is
You: well
You: Raimon students
You: And Shinobu?
Butterfly: Yeah?
You: I know you’re not into soccer
You: and that it would have to take brainwashing to make you join the team but like
You: out of everyone in Teikoku
You: you are probably the only one that can knock sense into them
Butterfly: Even Kidou folded?
You: Yeah
Boss Lady: I’m going to need Iboproufen for this, won’t I?
You: Most Likely
Butterfly: Go ahead and send them.
Butterfly: I saw Henmi run straight to the restroom looking embarrassed a while ago, and I want to know what happened
Butterfly: And just a minute ago he came out furious and is now walking out of Teikoku with the rest of the team except the new member
You: Take all the time you need, but this doesn't leave the groupchat!
Boss Lady: Understandable
Butterfly: I promise it won't!
You: *screnshots of the union*