Chapter Text
When the agent in front of her introduced himself as Agent Coulson it was almost like she flashed right back to her childhood. The strong badass Agent May that promised to always protect her and her charming, endearing partner Coulson she never got to meet. The stories on the pair were endless. She told herself it was just a coincidence. There's no way this was her Coulson. Even though she'd seen his picture a few times, she still refused to believe whatever higher power out there was this cruel. To drop her right back into the life she once had, only different this time.
She wondered if Coulson knew anything about her, from the way he interrogated her it didn't seem like he did. Maybe if May did tell him about her she used her old name, Mary. To keep her safe. May was always about keeping her safe.
Then she got a glimpse of her. May. Her May. The one who left when she was thirteen and never came back. Seven years. Not one word from her. For a brief moment, time stood still, she'd made peace with the fact she'd never see May again, and now here she was. She should've felt relieved, she missed her do much and now here she was. Yet she just felt sick, nauseous even. Now it really settled deep in her body that May did abandon her.
“Who was that?” She tried to casually ask Coulson after the glimpse of May.
He smiled "That is Melinda May. She's the pilot”
She didn't see her again until Coulson ordered May to look after her while she gathered intel from her van. She tried to keep focus on the task at hand, which was increasingly more difficult with May standing next to her. Who hadn't said a single word. Whether or not she recognized her was hard to tell. There was so much she wanted to say, and yet nothing felt good enough.
She tried not to think about the thirteen years she grew up wishing May would come visit and finally bring her home, the stuffed lion she considered her prized possession, her name, the stories, the soft reassurances and kind promises. For thirteen years May did not break a single promise, until the last one.
Getting kidnapped by Mike Peterson was not on her bucket list, as he dragged her throughout the train station she couldn't help but wonder if this was going to be the thing that finally made May talk to her. When she was a kid, Melinda had come to visit her in the hospital the first time a family hurt her, she never forgot how loved she felt that day, despite being in a cast. In the childish broken part of her mind she wanted to get hurt enough for May to finally cradle her in her arms again. Tell her everything would be ok. That she still loved her.
When she looked up she saw that the guy who was previously charging at her had dropped to the ground, May standing above him. Skye had never seen this side of May, she always knew she was strong but seeing it in person was different. She'd heard the stories, and to some extent it made sense yet it's hard to actually picture the same Melinda that braided her hair and kissed her head, capable of besting a man twice her size. They made eye contact and soon May moved to help her off the ground.
She reached for her hand and tugged her up, Skye used to be good at reading May. She used to be able to tell what her smiles meant, she could hear the soft shift in her voice when she spoke about Andrew and Coulson. But now face to face with her for the first time in nearly a decade, she couldn't even believe this was the same May.
She cleared her throat “Uh thanks for that May.” she gave a soft awkward smile “it's nice to see you, it's actually really crazy to see you”
May removed her hand from her, and it felt like cold rejection. Her face completely blank as she said “Focus on getting out of here” as she brushed past her to go help somewhere else.
Skye wasn't sure what she expected from it. However May brushing past her was not high on her list of expectations. May abandoned her and now she was acting completely different. Like she didn't even matter to her.
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As Skye settled into the passenger seat of Coulson's red corvette she was buzzing with energy. The day was crazy from start to finish and yet being in Coulson's car was one of the more shocking things to have come out of it. He was basically a fairytale to her, bedtime stories that only encouraged her want to be a top secret agent like them when she was a kid.
“I'm not exactly a team player” she reminded him.
He flashed her a simple smile “We're not exactly a team, but we're in a position to do a lot of good and you'd be a great help”
In the end the car flew and she wasn't going to let some decade old memories ruin her chance at changing the world, and hopefully finding more about where she came from. So she said yes.
That night she was gathering up her things from her van to take on board the plane when a knock sounded on her door. She slid it open to reveal May still in full tactical gear.
“May” she said.
“Look Skye-”
“Oh so you do remember me? Cause on the roof earlier it seemed like you couldn't have cared less who I was in that moment.”
She started up again “Skye-”
Skye already rolled her eyes “No May you know what? I’m not doing this.” Now she turned back to her boxes and started angrily throwing stuff in, all the memories coming bubbling back up to the surface “I waited for you, for seven years. Seven years Melinda. And you never came back. You left like everyone else in my life. The worst part is I actually expected you to.” She choked back a few tears before regaining her strength “I didn't deserve that”
When she finally chose to face May again she didn't see the warm, funny woman she grew up with. She didn't see her mom. This woman was stoic and cold. Similarly to how she stood still at the train station a few hours ago. Unflinchingly stiff. She hated it. She hated her.
“I was coming to ask you keep our past quiet”
Now Skye could really lose it. She scoffed “Yeah you know what? Fine. We can act like we never met” She grabbed an old and weathered Lin from her bed, along with the phone that never rang and shoved them into the woman's hands. “I'll see you tomorrow, Agent May.” before sliding her van door closed. She finally understood this wasn't the same woman who raised her.
Those seven years were some of her worst. The homes she was placed in were bad, the nuns were anxiously waiting to get rid of her, anytime she asked about May she was dismissed. She started to believe she had made it all up. After year four of no contact she started believing she might be dead. The nuns wouldn't answer a single question about the agent after she left, and she couldn't find any proof she even existed with her. She had no paper trail, no government i.d she could look up, in all those years May had never even told her what agency she worked for.
The only proof was a stuffed lion named Lin and a little girl named Skye.
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If anyone noticed May coming back to The Bus later than everyone else, they never mentioned it. Not even Coulson was brave enough to knock on her door in the middle of the night.
When May entered her room she stared at the stuffed lion she'd bought all those years ago, rubbing its worn out fur softly, and held the SAT phone in her hand. As she thought about the broken promises she'd made the girl, a deep pain made itself a familiar home in her chest. One she hasn't stopped feeling for seven years.
She sighed as she placed the items carefully on her top shelf. Next to them was a small box that held a baby picture of Skye, a few diner receipts and the graduation invite she never went to. Staying there permanently on her shelf as a reminder of everything she could never have.