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3rd of December
Buck was sitting at Eddie’s place, having a sleepover with Chris. He started shivering because of the coldness that suddenly hit him. Eddie noticed. He always notices when something’s wrong with his best friend.
„Here, take this” Eddie said, while taking off his sweater and handing it to Buck.
At first Buck was shocked and didn’t want to take it, but it didn’t take a long time before he agreed and put it on.
„Thanks man. I appreciate it” Buck said.
„Don’t need to thank me, besides it looks better on you than it does on me” Buck smiled when Eddie said that. His heart has melted.
For the rest of the night, they watched many films and laughed at each others jokes.
Nowadays
Buck is at his loft, laying on his bed and looking at the plain white roof. Ever since Eddie told him that he and Marisol are seeing each other, he hasn’t been himself. He would constantly wish he were in Marisols place. That he was the one hugging Eddie, kissing him and holding hands with him.
Only if Eddie knew how much Buck liked him.
Buck is dying out of jelousy and thinking about how much he wished he were Marisol.
Suddenly his phone starts ringing. After several hours of laying in his bed, he got up and picked his phone up to see that Eddie is the one calling him. He hesitated on pushing the green button. In the end, he did.
„Hey, what’s up man?” Buck asked, his voice still raspy from lack of sleep.
„Woah are you okay Buck? What’s up with your voice?” Eddie asked concerned.
„Oh it’s nothing, just couldn’t sleep. So why you’re calling?”
„Well I thought maybe you would want to hang out tonight with me, Chris and Marisol?” Eddie asked with clear happiness in his voice.
Buck couldn’t say no. Not when he heard how excited and happy Eddie is to spend the night with them. But it would be the same as the old times. Now there would be Marisol.
„Oh uhm, yeah sure why not.” Buck answered, trying not to sound so exhausted.
„Okay, see you at 7 at my place?”
„Yeah sure, see you Eds” Buck hanged up.
Out of anger he threw his on the ground and jumped into the bed, screaming into his pillow. But who was he angry at? At himself? At Eddie? Or maybe Marisol? He didn’t know. He didn’t want to know. He just wanted to… to be Marisol.
He turns to his back and looks at the clock hanging on the wall in front of him. He still has 5 hours til the… what will it even be? A party? No. Maybe just a meeting? Nope. Too official. If it wasn’t for Marisol, he would call it a sleepover. But he probably won’t stay overnight since Marisol probably will. He doesn’t know.
5 hours later
Buck makes it to Eddies place just in time. He walks in without knocking as always. He takes off his shoes and goes to the living room. He looks at the couch and he freezes as he sees Eddie and Marisol kissing.
„Shit I’m sorry uh I will.. uh” buck didn’t know what to say nor what to do.
Eddie quickly stopped kissing her as he heard Buck.
„Oh hey Buck! Sorry.. uh you can go say hi to Chris and get him here, we will watch a movie” Eddie said quickly.
Buck just nodded and went straight to Chrises room. He knocked and opened the door.
„Hey Bud!” He smiled and came straight to Chris to hug him.
„Hi Buck! I’m so happy you’re here” Chris said. „These nights aren’t the same without you”
„Oh I know bud, but Marisol is a great woman and she makes your dad happy…” Buck said with a slight smile on his face.
„I know but I miss you”
Buck knelled down to Chrises level.
„I know bud, I miss you both too so much. But your dad wants to spend time with the loves of his life, which is Marisol and you. You shouldn’t be mad at him, he deserves to be happy alright?”
„Yes Buck” Chris said smiling.
„Alright come on, we will make some popcorn and watch a movie” Buck said, petting his shoulder and standing up.
„Yes! Popcorn!”
After a while the popcorn was ready and they both went to the living room to sit on the couch with Eddie and Marisol. They put on the movie but Buck couldn’t focus. He focused more on Eddie and Marisol. The way he looked at her and put his hand around her shoulder.
But buck only noticed now, that she was sitting in Eddies sweater, that he asked Buck to give him back a couple weeks ago.
Buck broke.
Buck looked back at the TV. He fights with the tears that are showing in his eyes.
Marisol in fact is an angel, but Buck kinda wants her dead.
Buck can’t take it anymore. He stands up and quickly walks out of the house. He goes towards his jeep when suddenly he heard Eddie.
„Buck wait!” Eddie screamed. Buck stopped and turned around, tears dripping out his eyes on his cheeks. „What happened?”
„Why? Why does this have to happen to me?!” Buck asked angrily.
„What? What do you mean? You always make everything about you! Even when I’m finally happy!” Eddie screamed back.
„I’m not sleeping through every single night thinking why do I love you so fucking much! Asking myself why would you ever kiss me if I’m not even half as pretty as her! You gave her your sweater Eddie, the same one you gave me 2 years ago on the 3rd of December. But it’s just polyester so I’m just overreacting I guess. I wish I were Marisol, Eddie. Sometimes I even wish I could kiss her to know why you love her…” Buck said on almost one breath, tears streaming down his face.
Eddie stood there frozen. He didn’t say a word. He could feel a gull in his throat.
„Yeah… I’m sorry for loving you and ruining our friendship.” That’s the last thing buck said before getting into his jeep and driving away, leaving Eddie shocked and standing there fighting with his thoughts.
The next day
Eddie arrived to work, looking for Buck. He didn’t found him.
„Hey guys, have you seen Buck?” Eddie asked when he walked upstairs, where everyone was sitting.
„Nope” Hen said.
„No, he hasn’t been here. Weird, he’s always first to be at the station.” Chimney said. He picked up his phone and called Buck, but he didn’t answer.
„Well clearly something’s wrong” Ravi said.
„Yeah, something’s very much wrong” Hen said. „He always picks up his phone. Maybe he overslept?”
„Shit…” Eddie spoke up. Everyone looked at him with curiosity.
„Okay so something is definitely going on between you two huh?” Eddie answered Hen with a nod.
„I screwed up..” Eddie said, when the alarm went off. They all started getting ready for the call.
There was a car accident. When they got there, it was catastrophic.
„Okay listen up! Harry and Ravi check the suv, Hen and Eddie to the jeep!” Chim ordered.
They all got to work. Suddenly Eddie realised… it was Bucks jeep. It was laying on its roof.
„BUCK!” Eddie screamed when he realised. He went running to the drivers seat, finding Buck laying there unconscious and with many bruises and cuts.
Eddie dropped to his knees beside the driver’s seat.
„Buck! Buck, can you hear me?”
No response.
Hen was right behind him, immediately checking Buck’s airway and breathing.
„He’s unconscious. He’s breathing, but barely.”
„There’s a lot of blood,” Eddie said, looking at the cuts across Buck’s forehead.
„Don’t move him yet,” Hen warned. „His neck could be injured.”
Chimney arrived with the trauma bag and crouched beside them.
„I’ll take his airway. Eddie, stabilize his head.”
Eddie placed both hands carefully on either side of Buck’s head, keeping his neck completely still.
„Come on, Buck,” he whispered. „Stay with me.”
Hen checked Buck’s pulse.
Her expression suddenly changed.
„Chim.”
„What?”
„I can’t feel a pulse.”
Eddie’s face went pale.
„No…”
„He’s in cardiac arrest,” Chimney said. „We need to get him out, now. Eddie, start compressions.”
Eddie positioned his hands over Buck’s chest and began CPR.
„One, two, three, four…”
„Harder, Eddie!” Hen shouted.
Eddie pushed harder, refusing to stop.
„Come on, Buck! Come on!”
Ravi brought the monitor and defibrillator over.
„I’ve got the pads on.”
The monitor beeped rapidly.
„He’s in ventricular fibrillation,” Ravi said.
„Charge to 200 joules.”
Eddie continued compressions.
„Charging.”
„Clear!”
Everyone moved away.
The defibrillator shocked Buck.
His body jerked against the stretcher.
„Resume compressions!”
Eddie immediately started again.
„Come on, Buck. Don’t you dare leave me.”
Hen ventilated Buck with the bag-valve mask while Chimney prepared the equipment to secure his airway.
„We need to intubate,” Chimney said. „Hen, get the tube ready.”
„Got it.”
After another cycle of compressions, Ravi checked the monitor.
„Still VF.”
„Shock again.”
The second shock was delivered.
„Check pulse.”
Eddie stopped compressions.
Hen immediately checked Buck’s neck.
For a moment, there was nothing.
Then—
„I’ve got a pulse!”
Eddie let out a shaky breath.
„He’s back?”
„Weak, but yes.”
„Let’s move!” Chimney ordered. „We don’t have much time.”
They carefully extricated Buck from the wreckage using a backboard, keeping his spine immobilized. Once he was on the stretcher, Hen quickly reassessed him.
„Oxygen saturation’s dropping.”
„Get him on oxygen,” Chimney said.
Hen placed a non-rebreather mask over Buck’s face, but his breathing remained inadequate.
„He’s not protecting his airway.”
„We’ll intubate him,” Chimney said.
They quickly secured an endotracheal tube and connected Buck to the bag-valve mask.
„Tube placement confirmed,” Hen said after checking his breath sounds and the capnography.
„Blood pressure?”
Ravi looked at the monitor.
„Eighty over forty.”
„Start fluids. We need to get him to the hospital.”
Eddie looked at Buck’s face.
„He’s got a weak pulse again.”
„Keep monitoring him,” Chimney said. „If he arrests again, we start CPR immediately.”
They rushed the stretcher toward the ambulance.
„Let’s load him!”
The rear doors opened and Eddie climbed inside with Hen and Chimney.
„I’ll ride with him,” Eddie said.
„I know,” Chimney replied.
They secured Buck to the stretcher and connected him to the monitor. Hen started another IV while Chimney continued ventilating him.
„Heart rate’s 112. Blood pressure’s coming up slightly.”
Eddie sat beside Buck, watching every number on the monitor.
„Come on, Buck,” he whispered, taking his hand. „Please Buck…. I love you come on. I can’t lose you.”
The ambulance doors slammed shut.
„Ready?” the driver called.
„Go!” Chimney shouted.
The siren came on as the ambulance pulled away from the scene, racing toward the hospital with Buck fighting for his life in the back.
After they got to the hospital, the doctors immediately took good care of Buck.
„Eddie, you did great. He’s gonna be okay” Chim said. „Do you hear me? Hes going to make it thanks to you.”
„Yeah.. yeah cap.”
„Good.” Chim patted him on his shoulder and walked away to give Eddie some space.
In the meantime Chim called Maddie and told her everything he knew. She quickly got out of her job to drive to the hospital.
After a few hours a doctor finally showed up. Eddie stood up and looks at him, hoping he has good news about Buck.
„Okay so… Evan’s Buckley’s family?” The doctor asked.
„I am his sister” Maddie stood up and stepped up.
„Yeah okay I have you listed here… and Eddie Diaz?” The doctor added.
Eddie stood shocked.
„Uh yeah it’s me.” Eddie said.
„Alright so I can share the information with you since you’re both listed in the emergency contacts for mr. Buckley” the doctor said and then continued. „Mr. Buckleys condition is fine, but right now he is sleeping and resting. You can all visit him, but only 2 people at a time alright?”
„Yes, thanks doctor.” Maddie said. Both of them went to the others and told them the situation. All of them had visited Buck, and the last one who didn’t was Eddie.
He went inside and sat on the chair next to the hospital bed. He looked at Buck. Looked at his closed, tired eyes, at his lips and genuinely at him. He grabbed his hand and holds it as if buck was about to run away.
„I’m so sorry Buck… I never noticed. I have been feeling like I was lost. I was lost, I didn’t know who I was anymore.” Eddie looks down at their hands as he speaks. „I think I’m gay and I’ve been in love with you since a long time. But I didn’t accept the fact that I’m into guys and I hid it by being with Marisol. I broke up with her last night. I told her the truth. She understood. I… I’m in love with you.” Eddie told him the truth. A tear rolled down his face. Suddenly he felt someone wiping the tear awake. He looked up and it was Buck.
„Hey… don’t cry Eds. I understand. I love you too Eddie and you know that.” Buck said quietly and with a bit raspy voice.
Eddie looked up and their eyes met. Eddie quickly stood up and cupped his cheeks with his hand and closed the gap between them in a needy kiss. Buck immediately started kissing him back, with this amazing feeling in his lower stomach. He put his hand on the back of Eddies neck. Eddie licked his lower lip, asking him for entrance. Buck happily opened his mouth to give him space. They explored each others mouths as if it was the end of the world. But it was just the beginning. The beginning of their new world and a new journey.
Eddie pulled back a bit to get some air. They both are breathing hard. They look right into each others eyes with pure love.
„I love you so much” Buck said.
„I love you too”