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If Kyle had to tell the story of the moment he fell in love with Stan, he probably wouldn't be able to. They had been friends for so long that he genuinely didn't know when his feelings for him had started. All he knew was that one day he had been watching Stan while trying to explain math to him, and while Stan complained about how useless it all was, Kyle had thought to himself "Shit. I'm completely in love with this idiot."
If he had to tell the story of when they started dating, Kyle would talk about how Stan had given him a ridiculously long speech about how much he loved him and how he had always loved him, and he probably wouldn't admit that he had almost cried listening to it. Even so, Kyle always ended the story with one specific phrase: "Stan has always been hopelessly romantic. Sometimes it's hard for me to keep up."
Because, yeah, Stan was hopelessly romantic. He wrote him songs, always gave him his jacket —even when it wasn't cold— bought him chocolates or things Kyle had mentioned liking at some point, left little notes with compliments on his desk during recess, worked extra hours so he could take him to different places on dates, and was always all over him, hugging him, holding his hand, or kissing him, even in public.
That last part had always annoyed Kyle, just a little, mostly because of Cartman's constant teasing.
Maybe that's why, when Tweek told him that it bothered him that Craig wasn't romantic with him, Kyle thought it was ridiculous. An absurd problem. And, of course, he had to tell Stan.
"Can you believe it? They've been dating for... I don't even know how many years!" Kyle was lying on Stan's bed while the black-haired boy rummaged through his drawer for a shirt, his wet hair dripping over his shoulders in a way that slightly irritated Kyle. He probably would have said something about it if Stan hadn't been his boyfriend. "And you can tell from a mile away that Craig isn't exactly the most romantic person in the world."
"I don't know, dude. I mean... one thing is not being expressive in general, but it's completely different when it's with the person you love," Stan replied, straightening up with a worn-out shirt from one of his favorite bands in his hands.
Kyle stared at it curiously. He remembered stealing that shirt a while ago...
How had it ended up back in Stan's closet?
"I think Tweek has a reason to be upset." His voice came out muffled by the fabric when Stan finally pulled the shirt over his head, immediately soaking the collar and part of his back with his wet hair. That finally made Kyle let out a loud, clearly annoyed sigh as he sat up on the bed to reach for the towel Stan had thrown beside him on the mattress. Stan immediately understood the gesture. He turned around with a smile and walked toward him, sitting on the floor with his back against the bed. Kyle sat cross-legged directly behind him.
"It's an absurd problem. They're a good couple. He shouldn't focus on something like that; it'll only cause unnecessary problems in their relationship." His hands moved through Stan's hair with the towel wrapped around them, drying it in the way he knew would relax him.
Then Stan shifted, leaning backward to look at Kyle from below.
Kyle lost himself for a moment in the blue of his eyes, just like he always did whenever Stan looked at him with that kind of intensity. Then the black-haired boy gave him a teasing smile.
"Would it bother you if I stopped being romantic with you? Or if I'd never been romantic with you at all?" Stan asked, and Kyle could have sworn the black-haired boy's voice had gotten deeper, although it was probably just because he was relaxed under Kyle's touch.
He thought about the conversation he'd had with Tweek. The blond had asked him the same thing, and Kyle, as always whenever he felt cornered, had given him a vague answer that wasn't really a yes or a no.
"You've always been romantic. It's part of who you are." He shrugged, playing it down as he continued moving his hands through Stan's hair. Stan turned to face forward again, smiling smugly. "Whatever. I told Tweek I'd help him."
"Could you somehow get Craig jealous... with someone who would actually be romantic with Tweek?" Stan suggested from his place, closing his eyes.
"Do you want to flirt with Tweek?" Kyle raised an eyebrow, his shoulders suddenly tensing as he tried to hide the bitterness in his voice.
But then he heard Stan laugh, and his shoulders relaxed again.
"No, not me! Someone like... I don't know, Kenny?" Stan continued thoughtfully. "He's not as romantic as me, but he knows how to be romantic, and Butters would probably think it was for a good cause. He wouldn't kill him for it, unlike a certain redhead with me."
Kyle scoffed, rolling his eyes without responding, and returned to the comfortable silence between them.
The idea kept spinning around in his head, and eventually, he decided to take Stan's advice. He talked to Kenny the next day at the bus stop and, just as he had predicted, Kenny thought it was hilarious. He agreed almost immediately.
A week had passed since then, and Kyle was very proud to say that he had managed to fix Tweek's problem, even more so when he could see Craig being, in fact, more romantic with his blond friend.
And, for the most part, the whole thing became a forgotten subject. They simply continued with their lives. At least, everything in Kyle's life and relationship had continued normally. Dates with Stan, staying over at each other's houses whenever they felt like it, kisses, hugs, crazy adventures every now and then, the black-haired boy coming by every morning to walk to the bus stop with him, holding hands...
Until that day.
Kyle had woken up early, as he did every day. He went over his notes for the exam he had during first period, fixed his hair, tried to decide whether or not to wear his ushanka —which he eventually decided against— and finally checked his phone, reading through the local news while waiting for Stan to tell him he was at his door.
But before he could even look through the news, he saw a message from Stan in his inbox that made him raise an eyebrow. Its contents finally made him frown.
"I won't be able to pick you up today, sorry."
He reread the message an absurd number of times considering how short it was.
Stan always picked him up. He never forgot. Once, he'd even come to get him while burning with a fever, and Kyle had practically had to force him to stay home and rest. But that wasn't the only thing that made him frown.
It was how dry the message was.
Stan always sent him messages filled with spelling mistakes because he typed so quickly, and they were always full of emojis or accompanied by some meme or picture of an animal.
This one was different. It seemed carefully written, as if he had typed it and rewritten it several times, as if he'd thought about it and checked it before sending it.
Kyle clicked his tongue, rolling his eyes at his own thoughts before replying.
"Are you sick or something?"
Kyle watched the text bubble appear, disappear for a long minute, and then appear again.
"No, I just won't be able to."
His frown deepened, if that was even possible, as he stared at his phone like it was the most annoying thing in the world. He checked the time. 6:40 AM. He had to get to the bus stop in fifteen minutes.
He finally replied with a simple "Okay," playing it down before putting his phone into the pocket of his coat and walking quickly toward the door.
"Kyle, breakfast!" he heard his mother call from the kitchen as he placed his hand on the front-door handle.
"I'm gonna be late, Mom!" he called back, not staying to hear her response.
The streets of South Park were cold, which, in reality, was pretty common. Snow covered everything after the snowfall the day before, and Kyle felt a gust of wind hit his face the moment he stepped out of the warmth of his home.
Kenny and Cartman were already at the bus stop when he arrived. He stood beside them without saying a word.
They both stared at him, strangely focused on him, until Kyle couldn't take it anymore. He frowned and turned toward them.
"What?" He asked in an already irritated tone.
"Where's Stan?" Kenny was the first to ask, completely unfazed by Kyle's morning mood. It was normal. "Is he sick?"
"No. We just couldn't come together today." Kyle shrugged, and Cartman immediately let out a mocking laugh.
"Aww, poor Jew. Your boyfriend doesn't love you anymore?" Of course Cartman would never miss an opportunity to tease Kyle.
"Shut up, fatass! Just because we're dating doesn't mean we have to be together all the time." Kyle said it, but even as he did, something inside him tightened. Of course, he didn't let it show.
"...Are you sure this isn't bothering you at all?" Kenny asked again. His interrogative tone irritated Kyle more than it should have, probably because, as it was, it was already turning into a bad day.
...Was it a bad day?
Why?
Nothing unusual had happened. It was just Stan. His Stan. His boyfriend had decided not to pick him up. Something he always did.
"Yes, I'm sure." He replied in an obviously annoyed tone, making Kenny stare at him for a moment longer.
He looked like he was about to say something when Stan interrupted him.
"Hey, guys!"
Kyle turned toward him much faster than he normally would. And Stan was... Normal. A morning smile, bright eyes, his hands gripping the straps of his backpack. He looked completely normal.
As if he hadn't left Kyle waiting at home.
"Hey, dude. Everything good?" Kenny asked, returning to his normal tone, which slightly confused Kyle. Until a moment ago, he'd been asking why Kyle hadn't come with Stan!
"Your boyfriend is freaking out because he thinks you don't love him anymore!" Cartman quickly said.
Kyle felt his face heat up as he turned toward him with a dangerous glint in his eyes. But then Stan laughed, and Kyle's attention immediately returned to him.
"Seriously, dude?" Stan was looking at him the same way he always did. Intensely. With that love Kyle hadn't noticed until it had been pointed out directly to his face.
"Sorry about that. You know how my dad is... Apparently, he wanted to take a book out of the library in my house during the night and ended up knocking all of them onto the floor. I had to help my mom put them back." Stan's face briefly shifted into annoyance as he explained, and Kyle thought that it made perfect sense.
And if Stan kept looking at him like that... Then everything was fine.
"No, it's not serious. Cartman is just exaggerating." He rolled his eyes before looking forward. "We don't have to do that stuff all the time."
And it was fine.
Really.
Until Kyle realized that while they waited for the bus, Stan didn't try to take his hand even once.
That was a Stan thing. Initiating physical contact was always the black-haired boy's job. Kyle had never had to do it, and he had never expected to have to. No, he didn't.
Maybe, if Kyle had been a little more attentive and not so lost in his thoughts, he might have noticed the knowing look Stan and Kenny exchanged. Kenny's challenging stare, along with Stan's furrowed brow and slight pout, before he turned to look forward again.
Okay.
Stan didn't try to take his hand while they waited at the bus stop, or on the bus—although he did sit beside him—or while they walked toward the school doors.
He didn't even give him a kiss on the cheek or a quick kiss on the lips before they had to split up for their respective classes.
In his first class, Kyle stared at the exam on his desk, reading the instructions over and over, trying to understand what they were asking him to do, trying to begin solving it.
Of course, Kyle didn't care about Stan's strange behavior that morning.
Stan was a little annoying with all the physical affection every day anyway, and doing that at school wasn't exactly appropriate, so really, it wasn't that serious.
The pencil in his hand creaked slightly under the pressure he was applying to it. His brow was furrowed in a way that almost looked painful.
It wasn't that serious. He was fine. Maybe Stan had simply forgotten. Or maybe he was overwhelmed that day.
He was always romantic, after all, and surely, once classes ended, he'd show up with one of those cereal bars Kyle liked.
Surely he'd leave a note on his desk like he normally did...
The pencil snapped in his hand.
Kyle immediately dropped it, gasping slightly at the brief sting of pain.
Wendy, sitting beside him, turned to look at him, and Kyle really hated how concerned she looked. Almost as if... She knew something.
He and Wendy had been friends for quite a while. Kyle had talked to her when he first started dating Stan to make sure there wasn't any resentment between them. Wendy had seemed to appreciate the gesture, and they'd been good friends ever since, especially since they shared the same class.
"Kyle, are you okay? Do you want another pencil?" Wendy whispered quickly, making sure the teacher wasn't looking at them.
Of course Wendy knew something. Probably most of the school knew something by now. Rumors spread like wildfire, and everyone in that class had already seen Kyle enter the classroom alone, his brow furrowed.
It was so common to see Stan with him, hovering around him, that it was simply strange enough for him not to be there to become a rumor.
Kyle finally had to pull himself out of his thoughts, sighing and relaxing his brow as he slowly nodded without looking at her.
When Wendy handed him another pencil, Kyle took it with a murmured "Thanks," finally looking back down at his exam.
Okay.
Enough.
He needed to concentrate.
Stan didn't come to get him outside his classroom.
And Kyle waited for him. He really did. But as the hallways emptied, he finally realized that Stan simply wasn't coming.
"Kyle, you're still here." Wendy was the last one to leave because it had been her turn to straighten up the classroom, and she clearly saw Kyle standing there like an idiot in the doorway. "...Is everything okay with Stan?"
Kyle knew Wendy had been dying to ask him that. Because, honestly, if he'd been in her place, he would have wanted to ask too. But the simple question, spoken out loud, affected him more than he would have liked to admit.
"...Yeah." I don't know. "Yeah, everything's fine." He said it as he turned toward her.
Wendy must have seen something in his expression, because her voice softened. "Come on. Let's go to the cafeteria. You need to eat something."
The black-haired girl started walking, and Kyle didn't answer. He simply followed her, his mind somewhere else.
The cafeteria was packed by the time they arrived. Wendy placed a hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture and smiled at him before going to sit with the other girls.
Kyle, meanwhile, scanned the room until he found the three tables pushed together where the boys who had been friends since childhood usually sat.
Stan was there, laughing at something Kenny had said.
Kyle frowned almost immediately, approaching the table with firm steps. An angry aura surrounded him. Dangerous. Even sad, if you knew him well enough to notice.
The table gradually fell silent as the boys noticed him, Tweek specifically looking at him the same way Wendy had. Concerned.
Finally, Stan turned around, probably drawn by the sudden change in atmosphere. He looked at Kyle. And his eyes lit up with all that love again, along with his smile.
That smile Kyle loved.
A smile that, right now, irritated him.
"Hey, dude! I brought your tray. I didn't know when you were coming." Stan acted as if nothing was wrong.
Kyle didn't sit down immediately. Instead, he stared at Stan with a furrowed brow and empty eyes in a way that was almost frightening.
Stan's smile faltered, probably beginning to notice how everything about Kyle screamed danger. "Dude?"
Kyle finally sighed, but his frown didn't relax as he sat down beside him, clearly angry. He rested his elbow on the table and his cheek against his hand, partially turning his back toward Stan.
The table fell into an awkward silence, the only sound being the clinking of Kyle's utensils against his tray as he pushed his food around without actually eating any of it.
"...Well, apparently someone has sand in their vagina." Cartman was the first to break the uncomfortable silence.
Kyle slammed his fork down onto the tray.
"You—" He was about to launch himself at Cartman, who startled and shrank back, waiting for the hit that never came.
Stan placed a hand on Kyle's shoulder. Kyle hated how that simple gesture relaxed him slightly.
"Whoa, dude, calm down!" Stan said, giving his shoulder a light squeeze as he held him in place to keep him from getting up. Then he let go and placed his hand back on the table. That irritated Kyle in ways he couldn't explain. "Don't listen to him. Cartman's an asshole."
Stan didn't seem angry with him. He didn't seem annoyed about anything. He wasn't even treating him badly. That made Kyle think he was probably exaggerating.
Yeah. Stan wasn't acting like himself, but he wasn't acting... Bad. Maybe he was just tired from having to rearrange the library.
That made sense. They could always go back to Kyle's house together and go up to his room, watch a movie while cuddling, or simply sleep together for a while.
Kenny, sitting beside Cartman, started laughing. Kyle glared at him. Kenny raised both hands in surrender.
The table returned to its usual chatter, finally letting the situation pass. Stan spoke to him in a reassuring tone, and Kyle once again told himself that everything was fine.
Yeah. He was just exaggerating.
"Well, Butters and I have to go. We've got class soon." Kenny spoke as he stood up, taking Butters with him by the hand. Kyle couldn't help feeling envious. "Try not to kill anyone, Kyle." Kenny winked playfully, and Kyle sighed, rolling his eyes before finally smiling slightly.
Then, when Kenny and Butters walked away, Stan stood up too. Kyle looked at him strangely as he slung his backpack over both shoulders and picked up his empty tray.
"What? Do I have something on my face?" Stan asked playfully when he finally noticed Kyle staring at him.
Kyle stared at him in silence for a moment before answering.
"...I'm not done eating." His voice came out more vulnerable than he'd expected. Damn it.
Stan looked at him for a moment before smiling at him again in that reassuring way that, rather than reassuring Kyle, only irritated him more.
"It's okay, dude. You don't have to rush your food." He replied, hesitating slightly in his stance and smile. "But... You got to the cafeteria late. If I don't leave now, I'll be late for my next class."
Kyle felt a pang in his chest that forced him to lower his gaze back to his tray. He hated how quickly his feelings changed, as if he genuinely couldn't hold onto a single emotion for very long.
"...Okay." He finally said it, then listened to Stan's footsteps moving away from the table.
Of course, he didn't notice the slight hesitation in the black-haired boy's steps as he walked away.
Cartman, who had been watching them incredulously for a while, rolled his eyes, clearing his throat as he straightened in his seat.
"Khyle, that was so sad that I don't even want to make fun of you." The fatass spoke, and Kyle looked up at him incredulously. "And as the biggest fan of your relationship, I can't allow this to continue."
"The biggest fan of...?" Kyle frowned, ready to start fighting with Cartman again. "You always make fun of us."
"It's out of love!" Cartman snapped, clicking his tongue. "I helped you two get together! Just like I helped Tweek and Craig, and now Kenny and Butters."
"You literally did nothing for any of those couples."
"Fuck you, Khyle!" Cartman complained again, defending his secret Cupid work. "And as a faithful believer in homosexual love, I cannot sit idly by and watch you waste perfectly good food just because your boyfriend isn't treating you the way you want."
Of course, there it was, Cartman just wanted to eat. Kyle scoffed, but before he could answer, Cartman interrupted him again.
"What I think you should do, my good friend, is initiate contact." Cartman leaned back in his seat as if he had just given the greatest advice ever given. And —even though Kyle hated admitting it— it actually made him think. "Nobody likes it when their partner never takes the initiative. Stan is no exception."
"...So you're saying that... what?" Kyle asked, his irritated tone trying to hide the fact that he was actually listening to Cartman.
"That you start the contact for once, Jew! God, you're really slow." Cartman complained, and Kyle frowned. "Now, are you gonna eat that?"
Kyle finally scoffed, pushing the metal tray across the table toward Cartman before getting up.
"Clean it afterward, fatass." He said as he slung his backpack over his shoulder and started walking back toward class.
"I'm not fat!" Cartman yelled behind him.
Kyle simply listened to him from a distance before walking through the cafeteria doors.
The day continued the same way.
Stan hadn't left a note on his desk, but Kyle brushed it off when classes ended and he saw the black-haired boy waiting for him at the school entrance so they could walk home together.
Of course, Stan didn't take his hand on the way back. But Kyle thought he was probably just tired, and that they would soon reach his house, where Stan could finally rest.
When they arrived at the Broflovski house, Kyle hurried to find his key and climbed the steps toward the door.
"Okay, see you tomorrow, Ky." Stan's voice behind him made him stop with his hand still on the keys.
Kyle turned around. Stan was already turning away to head back home. Kyle frowned, just as confused as he was angry and hurt.
"...You're not coming in?" Kyle finally asked after a long moment of silence.
He saw Stan's body tense before the boy turned back around, rubbing the back of his neck as he laughed nervously.
"I have... I have to help my mom rearrange the library." Stan offered the excuse, and Kyle stared at him for a moment.
"...You said you'd already done that this morning." Kyle replied, his frown relaxing into something much more vulnerable as he looked at Stan, as if he could find the truth in his eyes.
"Ah... Yeah... Well... Uh..." Stan started stammering, clearly searching for another excuse. Kyle finally sighed and turned back around to look for his keys.
Because clearly, Stan didn't want to be with him. And Kyle wasn't going to force him.
"Fine. See you tomorrow." That was the last thing he said before stepping into the warmth of his home and slamming the door behind him without even staying to hear Stan's response.
He practically ran to his bedroom, slamming the door even though he was alone in the house. This was stupid. All of this was stupid. It was absurd.
He turned around on his bed with an annoyed growl, finally allowing himself to lose his mind in the solitude of his room.
It was fine. This was fine. Stan behaving like this didn't mean anything. It was probably just a one-day thing. Tomorrow, Stan would probably be himself again. His romantic boyfriend who loved him and showed it.
Four days had passed.
Four days!
And everything was still the same.
Every morning, Stan told him he wouldn't be able to pick him up and then came up with an excuse. He didn't wait for him at lunch, didn't leave him notes, didn't hold his hand, and didn't enter his house.
He simply said goodbye at the entrance and turned around toward the Marsh house.
And Kyle felt like he was slowly losing his mind.
It was Thursday. Thursday. And all week, his routine after school had been the same. Get home, run to his room, yell, cry, lose his mind, and finally lie on his bed, staring at the ceiling while wondering what the hell was happening.
That particular day, he was staring at the ceiling thinking about what Cartman had told him.
Take the first step. Maybe that's what Stan wanted. Maybe that's why he was ignoring him like that... But how did you take the first step?
Kyle was really bad at that.
He had never been good at any kind of interaction that wasn't a debate, and he'd never had to be. Stan always did it first.
How did he do it? How did Stan make every touch, every caress, seem natural? How did he make nothing feel forced?
Finally, Kyle let out an annoyed gasp, curling in on himself and groaning as he brought both hands to his face.
He would have to ask someone for help. Preferably someone who knew what they were doing. Someone who understood Kyle.
He pulled out his phone, the glow of the screen being the only thing illuminating the room as he searched for the contact.
Finally, he pressed the call button and brought the phone to his ear.
"Hello? Kyle?" Tweek's nervous voice came from the other end.
Kyle sighed in relief when the blond answered. He really didn't want to have to call again.
"Tweek..." His voice cracked as he spoke, and he had to bite his lower lip while listening to Tweek's worried, nervous voice.
"Kyle! What happened? Is everything okay?" Tweek had already started asking questions, and Kyle sighed, trying to calm himself so he wouldn't make Tweek even more anxious.
"Stan is ignoring me." He finally said it, his voice firmer this time.
There was a long silence on the other end before Kyle heard Tweek's ironic laugh.
"Is he ignoring you? Or did he just stop being romantic?" The blond asked softly, as if he knew the question would hurt. "Because I've still seen him pretty attached to you."
"Of course not! He's..." Kyle interrupted himself immediately, frowning. Did nobody else notice? "He's acting weird. He doesn't act the way he normally would, and I..."
"Do you remember what you told me when I asked how you'd feel if Stan stopped being romantic with you?" Tweek interrupted him again.
Kyle scoffed, feeling like he was being scolded as he brought his free hand to his opposite side, hugging himself.
"That's not..." Kyle began muttering.
"You told me you wouldn't care. That Stan was a little annoying because of how romantic he was." Tweek replied as if explaining something to a child. Kyle grimaced but didn't answer. "Do you still feel the same way?"
"I... I'm just..." He hesitated, trying to avoid admitting the truth. "Worried." He took a deep breath "And Cartman says maybe I should initiate contact... It's ridiculous, right?"
"I don't think it's ridiculous. Actually, it sounds like good advice." Tweek replied thoughtfully. "I mean, I know you're really proud, and that same pride doesn't really let you give in... but taking the first step for once isn't going to kill you, Kyle."
Tweek laughed on the other end, and Kyle sighed again, as if he hadn't already done it a million times during this conversation.
"Okay, I... I don't know how." Kyle finally admitted. "I don't know how to... do it. Uh... How do you do it with Craig?"
There was silence on the other end of the line for a long moment. Kyle grew impatient. Then he heard Tweek laugh again.
"Are you asking me how to make the first move with your boyfriend? The guy you've been dating for almost three years?" Tweek asked.
Kyle felt his face grow even redder.
"It's not funny! I've never had to do it! Stan was always the one who... He was always the more affectionate one." He quickly defended himself.
"It's not that hard, Kyle. Just... hold his hand. Try that, okay? It shouldn't be too difficult." Tweek answered in the same tone that suggested he found the whole situation adorable.
Kyle sighed, trying to calm the trembling in his hands at the mere thought.
"...Okay. I'll try." He reluctantly agreed.
"Perfect! You can do it, Kyle. I really hope you can figure this out." Tweek said, and Kyle frowned.
"Figure... what out?" He asked.
He could almost hear the nervous sound that came from Tweek's lips.
"I have to go, Kyle! Bye!" The blond suddenly sounded much more nervous. Suspicious.
"Tweek, wait!"
Too late. All Kyle heard was the beep indicating that the call had ended.
He sighed, pulling the phone away from his ear and staring at his reflection in the black screen.
Why did everyone seem to know something he didn't?
Okay.
It was Friday.
Kyle spent more time getting ready in front of the mirror that day. Not because he wanted to look prettier, but because the mere thought of leaving his house and attempting to take the initiative terrified him enough to keep him inside for as long as possible.
It wasn't that difficult. He just had to hold Stan's hand. Something they'd done millions of times. Literally the smallest gesture in a relationship.
And Kyle was good at everything he set his mind to. He mastered everything. And whatever he didn't know, he practiced until he did.
So... Why wouldn't his hands stop shaking?
He reached the bus stop running, arriving at the very last minute.
The bus was already there, and the boys were already getting on. Stan looked at him with one raised eyebrow, standing just behind Kenny in line.
"Dude, are you okay? Where were you?" Stan asked.
Kyle had to take a moment to calm his ragged breathing before standing behind him to get on the bus.
"I overslept." He lied as he sat beside Stan in their usual seat. And if Stan suspected anything about his lie, he didn't say so.
Kyle stretched the time as much as he possibly could.
That day, he was the last one to leave every single class, the last one to finish eating in the cafeteria, and the last one to walk toward the school doors.
"I was starting to think you'd already left." Stan was leaning against the wall, waiting for him.
Kyle barely hummed in response, not looking at him as he walked past.
Stan raised an eyebrow, confused, concerned, and slightly guilty. But eventually, he pushed himself away from the wall and started walking beside him.
Kyle glanced at Stan's hand a million times.
The black-haired boy walked calmly, humming a song Kyle probably would have recognized if he weren't so damn nervous.
He tried so many times.
His hands trembled uncontrollably.
The hand closest to Stan's moved a few centimeters, trembled, pulled back, hesitated, moved closer again, curled into a fist, and retreated completely.
It was almost painful to watch.
The weather was still cold. The streets were empty because they had left school so late. Ike was probably already home by now.
The only sounds were their footsteps crunching against the snow and Stan's humming.
At one point, Kyle's hand even traveled to his other arm, nervously scratching it as he felt his face grow red.
Finally, he sighed and lowered it again.
He took a breath, trying to gather his courage once more.
He closed his eyes.
His hand moved forward again.
This time, his fingers brushed against the back of Stan's hand.
The gesture made Kyle recoil slightly in surprise before telling himself that this was stupid.
He moved forward again, finally taking Stan's hand in a nervous, trembling grip.
His gaze immediately darted away from Stan as he felt the boy looking at him, almost as if his stare were burning him.
Stan, meanwhile, looked down at their joined hands before smiling tenderly and intertwining their fingers, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze that made Kyle sigh in relief.
Stan's hand was slightly plumper than his, and also much warmer, contrasting against Kyle's skin, which was always cold in that particular spot.
And then Kyle finally realized the truth he could no longer ignore.
He missed this.
He missed Stan being affectionate.
He missed him being annoyingly romantic.
He had been an idiot.
He would never take it for granted again, because now he knew how much it hurt not to have it. How empty it felt.
Then they reached the Broflovski house. Kyle walked toward the door faster than before.
He needed to get Stan inside. He needed to get him to his room. He needed to be with Stan.
It was okay. Everything was okay finally. Finally, Stan would be romantic with him again.
After all, this was what Stan wanted, wasn't it? For Kyle to take the initiative. He'd done it now. So...
Then Stan let go of his hand.
"See you tomorrow, Ky." Stan said.
The same goodbye he'd used for the past three days. The same way of turning around.
Kyle turned so abruptly that Stan stopped in his tracks.
"What...? You're leaving?" Kyle asked, his voice breathless as he frowned. Yeah. No. He was getting tired of this.
"...Well... yeah. I have to get home." Stan spoke, confused by the way Kyle was talking. He had never heard him speak like that. At least, not that he could remember.
"You..." Kyle was furious.
Seriously? He had spent the entire day nervous, thinking about how to hold Stan's hand without dying from embarrassment.
And Stan acted as if he had never done it.
"You just... leave?"
"...Ky, I don't understand."
Stan looked genuinely confused, which only made Kyle angrier.
"You don't understand? You... Goddammit, Stan, go to hell!" Kyle finally exploded, feeling his eyes fill with tears.
"You don't understand?! I don't understand! I...!"
"Kyle, hey! Dude, calm down." Stan tried to calm him down while Kyle was nothing but a bundle of nerves, anger, sadness, and pure frustration.
"Go to hell!" Kyle said again, but clicked his tongue, his eyes shining with tears as he walked firmly down the steps. "Come on."
"...What?" Stan asked again as Kyle walked past him.
"Didn't you want to go home? Then let's go to your damn house." Kyle replied, but didn't stop walking.
"Kyle, wait."
Stan hurried after him, while Kyle curled in on himself in a gesture Stan knew exactly what meant.
Kyle was furious with him.
Oh, God.
Kyle was going to kill him.
And this was all Kenny's fault.
When they reached the Marsh house, Kyle didn't even bother waiting for Stan to open the door. He knew they never locked it.
They practically lived in a rural area. There weren't many dangers. And he also knew for certain that the house was empty.
He heard Stan's hurried footsteps behind him, trying to keep up. Kyle always walked faster when he was angry. After all, they didn't take long to reach Stan's house, despite the fact that they didn't exactly live close anymore, not since Randy had bought the farm.
Kyle climbed the stairs without waiting for Stan, heading directly toward his bedroom. It was a habit. There might not have been anyone home, but someone could arrive at any moment, which was why they always ended up locked inside a bedroom.
He threw open the bedroom door and stepped inside before finally stopping near the window, his back turned toward the door.
His hands were clenched into trembling fists as quiet sobs began filling the silence of the room.
Stan entered behind him, closing the door carefully, slowly, as if any sudden noise might make Kyle turn around and attack him.
He turned on the light and saw Kyle's shoulders rising and shaking violently as he tried to hold back his tears.
Stan was dying to wrap his arms around him. Dying to cradle Kyle's face in his hands and wipe away his tears. He wanted to assure Kyle that he loved him more than anyone and apologize for being an idiot.
Hell, he would even confess everything. He'd tell him everything Kenny had said. He'd tell him about the bet they'd made and how they'd convinced him to go along with it.
But another part of him, another darker part buried deeper down, wanted to see how far this would go. He wanted to know how much Kyle could take. And something told him it wouldn't be much longer.
Kyle turned around violently, and Stan stepped back slightly. Not because he was afraid. But because seeing the sadness and anger on Kyle's face broke his heart in a way he couldn't explain.
"Ky..." He tried to start, but Kyle interrupted him almost immediately.
"How much more do I have to do?! What the hell is wrong with you?!" Kyle's voice cracked painfully.
Stan held himself together despite feeling like he could burst into tears right there with him.
"What are you talking about?" Stan asked, pretending not to understand.
Kyle raised both hands to his face, rubbing it roughly.
"You! You've been acting weird all week!" Kyle exploded. His face was a mess of tears, red and angry, and he probably looked pathetic. "You've been ignoring me all week!"
"...I haven't been ignoring you, Ky. I've been talking to you like I always do." Stan repeated, unintentionally using the exact same words Tweek had told Kyle.
Kyle let out a desperate gasp. Stan could only think "Say it. Just say it already so we can end this."
"You know exactly what I mean! You don't hold my hand! You don't kiss me! You don't do anything! You ignore me!" Kyle continued, waving his hands through the air as he tried to express himself, just like he always did whenever something overwhelmed him.
"...Oh." Stan paused. "That..."
Silence filled the room again as Kyle waited for him to say something else. When he didn't, Kyle only grew more irritated.
"Yes, that, you fucking idiot!" Kyle sobbed. He couldn't even maintain his angry façade anymore, it was slowly crumbling, making room for the sadness he'd been hiding underneath everything. "Fine! I'll admit it! I have no idea what's going on, and it's driving me insane! I don't understand!"
Stan stared at him for a moment as Kyle felt himself falling apart in tears. He watched him take a deep breath before continuing.
"Why do you even care so much? I thought it was annoying." Stan's tone wasn't accusatory, it sounded like a fact. Something Kyle had genuinely said.
And it felt like a stab to the chest.
"I..." Kyle stumbled over the words, his pride fighting a battle he was tired of fighting. "I don't..."
The tears kept falling, and he brought both hands to his face, sobbing violently under Stan's desperate gaze.
"Ky..." Stan was mortified. Say it, please, Ky. Say it already. Admit it. "Ky, I really don't understand you. I thought this was what you wanted."
Those words finally made Kyle lower his hands from his face and face Stan again. His expression was much more broken than before.
"I lied! Okay?! I lied, damn it!" His voice cracked again, and Kyle began to hate how vulnerable he felt. "I miss you! I miss you being romantic! I miss you being annoying! I never should've assumed you'd always be like that!"
Stan finally let out a sigh, as if he were releasing everything he'd been holding back for days.
He rushed toward Kyle and wrapped his arms around him. The action felt overwhelmingly relieving for both of them.
Kyle understood nothing. Again... if he'd ever understood anything at all.
Stan simply held him tighter against himself.
Finally, Kyle lifted his own arms and wrapped them around Stan, hiding his face in his neck and sobbing violently while the black-haired boy rubbed his back soothingly.
"It's okay... It's over... I'm so sorry." Stan repeated the words as he pressed kisses against Kyle's neck, trying to calm him.
Kyle didn't answer, but tightened his grip on Stan's shirt so hard that it would probably be stretched out, his tears soaking the shoulder of it.
Stan slowly guided them both backward until he bumped into the bed and finally lay down on it, Kyle still in his arms.
"You're an idiot..." Kyle's voice came muffled against Stan's skin, and Stan couldn't help but smile to himself.
"I know... I'm so sorry." He repeated it as if that could actually fix anything.
Because Stan knew what he was doing.
And every time he saw Kyle's vulnerability in response to his actions, one part of him hesitated. Doubted. Wondered if maybe this had gone too far.
While another part —the more curious part, and the one Kenny had used to his advantage— wanted to see what Kyle would really do.
Now he knew.
And he would definitely never do it again.
To be honest, when Kenny approached him with a teasing smile on his lips, Stan knew he couldn't possibly be planning anything good.
He still remembered the conversation they'd had that day.
"Dude! I've got a great idea." Kenny smiled, and Stan raised an eyebrow, leaning against the lockers as he waited for Kyle to leave class so they could walk home together.
"That doesn't sound good." Stan replied, already suspicious of his friend's intentions.
"Trust me, you'll like it!" Kenny replied.
Stan rolled his eyes —a gesture he'd adopted from Kyle— but motioned for him to continue. Kenny only grinned wider.
"Remember the problem with Tweek and Craig?"
"The problem where you flirted with Tweek to make Craig jealous? Of course I remember." Stan laughed lightly.
He still remembered Craig's look of pure disgust when he'd seen Kenny drape his jacket over Tweek's shoulders.
"Good! Then you know Tweek and Kyle talked about it before, and Kyle said he really wouldn't care if you stopped being romantic." Stan raised an eyebrow again as his smile disappeared. He definitely didn't like where this was going. "Well, I was talking to Cartman, and we both think he's blatantly lying. So..." Kenny paused dramatically. "We made a bet."
"No."
Stan cut him off immediately, looking back down at his phone. He decided to ignore Kenny until he left.
"At least listen to me!" Kenny complained, but continued. "Cartman says Kyle wouldn't last a week, but I say he could last longer... Like a month."
"I'm not going to stop being romantic with Kyle because of your stupid bets." Stan finally replied without looking up from his phone.
"But think about it! It would benefit you too." Kenny continued persistently. "Wouldn't you like to know if Kyle really wouldn't care?"
Stan finally looked up from his phone. He stared at the blond for a second, but that was enough for Kenny to realize he might actually be able to convince him.
"It won't be for long. Just one week, starting next Monday. If Sunday comes and Kyle hasn't admitted that he doesn't like you not being romantic with him, then I win, and you can go back to being as affectionate as you want." Kenny explained.
Stan hesitated for quite a while before his curiosity finally won out.
He sighed.
"Fine." He finally said. Kenny's eyes lit up. "But only one week!"
"Yeah, dude! Just one week! Thanks, Stan, you're the best!" That was the last thing Kenny said before disappearing down the hallway, probably to find Butters.
Of course, Kenny had lied to Stan. Blatantly.
And when Monday came, Stan arrived at the cafeteria alone with a bitter taste in his mouth. The whole table was so surprised he wasn't with Kyle that Kenny eventually told them about the bet.
And everyone joined in.
Stan was forced to keep it going for much longer than they'd originally planned. And it was torture. Because he wanted to.
God, he wanted to.
He wanted to hug Kyle. He wanted to go pick him up from his classes. He wanted to kiss him shamelessly in front of everyone.
He even wanted to go into Kyle's bedroom, but he knew that if he did, he'd forget about the bet, he'd give in to the temptation.
And right now, with Kyle in his arms, Stan thanked whatever deity was listening that Kyle had finally admitted it before the first week was over.
Because if he hadn't... Stan wouldn't have been able to hold out much longer either.
Finally, Kyle's breathing became steady as Stan continued rubbing his back. The black-haired boy immediately knew Kyle had fallen asleep.
Stan clicked his tongue, annoyed with himself, as he pulled his phone from his pocket, carefully maneuvering so he wouldn't wake Kyle.
He opened his messages and quickly entered the group chat titled "Bet #232."
Almost all the boys had participated, except Tweek and Butters, although they were still in the group.
Stan quickly took a picture, showing Kyle's curls resting against his shoulder.
He sent it with the caption "Done. That's it. You can all go to hell."
Kenny's response came almost immediately, one of the first to answer.
"No, dude! You had to hold out longer! I can't believe Fatass beat us."
Cartman's message followed.
"Suck it, fags! I want my money on Monday!"
Stan rolled his eyes as more replies flooded the group.
Finally, he turned off his phone and left it on the nightstand before shifting back into a more comfortable position with Kyle, deciding to sleep as well.
The last thought he had before falling asleep beside the redhead was that he would definitely never tell Kyle about the bet. If he did, Stan probably wouldn't make it out alive after facing Kyle's fury.