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Toya Aoyagi
Who the hell is even Toya Aoyagi.
Who is he anymore.
Not the son of a classical musician.
Not the pianist nor the violinist.
Who is Toya Aoyagi. What is he doing with his life?
Toya had just gotten out of the shower and was going to change back to his pajamas, but the image of his reflection caught his attention all out of sudden. He was frozen in his seat in front of the mirror, staring intensely at his own image as he almost didn't recognize himself.
Dark blue and light blue hair that had gotten too long and covered his eyes like curtains, tired and lifeless gray eyes and an extremely thin face and terrible body posture.
Toya didn't realize just how much weight he lost in one month. His cheekbones were much more visible now and his lanky body looked uncomfortable, as if his limbs were tied with strings and moved by them.
The scrawny boy just sighed and went back to his bedroom. His wet hair sticked to his face and neck, curving slightly in the end, as water was dripping from his bangs. Toya didn't bother to dry his hair, he just went straight to his room and collapsed on the bed.
Nothing in his bedroom and the whole house in general gave off any sense of warmth or familiarity. The most colorful room in this house was his bedroom, which was dyed gray and navy blue. The rest of the house, from the marble floors to the square and modern shapes of the rooms felt more like a prison to him.
I have to get up... I need to tell my Father I'm quitting playing the piano. But I can't. I just can't.
I want to quit already...
Is it bad to wish you could just give up on life? Why can't I just disappear without anyone noticing? As long as I'm alive mom and dad will always have the highest expectations from me.
Toya found himself laying on his bed in a position similar to that of a dead octopus. His limbs were numb, his whole body paralysed. If he stayed in that position for an hour his body was going to hurt like hell.
Willy sometimes sleeps like that, he thinks. He sleeps in the most ridiculous and unnatural positions like he doesn't possess any bones and somehow his back doesn't hurt. He sonetimes sleeps like a corpse.
The thought of his cat made him smile just a little bit.
"Mrrrrow?"
Toya raised his head from his pillow and shifted towards the place the needy little voice came from. It was Willy, Toya's male black cat standing in the doorway asking for treats.
"No Willy, I'm sorry baby but you are so fat"
Mr Willy wasn't even that chunky. Cat owners just like calling their furry babies fat in the most endearing way possible.
"Mrrrrrooooooooow?"
I feel just like a mother listening to her baby's voice.
Willy whines for me more than he whined for his mommy when he was a baby. I remember the day i found him. He was a newborn kitten but he was abandoned in a box with his siblings. I remember begging mom and dad to keep him because I would hate myself if I let this poor baby die. He acts as if I'm the one who gave birth to him.
Well, I sometimes feel like I did. I bottle fed him. I taught him how to use the litter box. I sometimes even took him to the vet alone because mom and dad are too busy. Well, that was an excruciating childbirth but it was worth it.
"Come up here buddy", Toya said patting the spot next to him on the bed and Willy jumped on top of his stomach.
"Aargh, Willy, you fat boy!", Toya said without complaining a bit. If anything, he sounded more like he liked his black fur baby landing onto him and crushing him. Toya started petting Willy's round head pulling his ears back until he looked like an alien creature. Willy started purring loudly and rubbing his cheecks against Toya's nose.
"Meow?"
"Sigh, I know, I know... Life kinda sucks lately for me too, Willy. First year in junior high school, I don't know anyone, i want to quit classical music and now mom and dad are breaking up..."
Willy let out a gentle whine.
"I don't know... Too many changes at once.. I just... can't deal with anything...", Toya said, continuing to stroke the cat's soft fur.
"It's just that, I kinda always knew it was coming, mom and dad are more like colleagues who live in the same house rather than a married couple, but on the other hand I still can't believe it... Mom is leaving to her birthplace. .. And I'm staying here with Father. I want to go with her to Germany."
Willy curled up in his boy's chest, breathing quickly but softly. A soft pur came from his throat, making Toya feel more at ease.
"But getting neutered is obviously worse. Poor little guy, you can't go out and flirt with the girl cats... But mom and dad are Catholic, so you know the rules, no affairs before you're married."
"Meow"
"I know it sucks."
"Mrrr"
"Yes I will tell him. Just not today... Willy, is it weird if I can't really feel anything? I don't know how I feel. Everything is so off. Even waking up seems like a chore lately."
Toya's hand was stroking him slower and less focused than before. Now he was just aimlessly caressing soft black fur as a warm little body spread its weight evenly on him.
The boy looked at his cat, who was getting ready for a nap. He was making air biscuits on Toya's chest and curling into a ball.
It's amazing how animals can help you, though.
A weight dissappeared from Toya's heart as he felt the cat purring loudly on him. The smooth vibrations from his little throat spread through his body and into his owner's as well.
It's almost as if Willy understands
He definitely understands. Cats are so much better at sensing emotions than most humans do. I can't even tell what my emotions are
Toya kept stroking the cat's fluffy fur until Willy's purring gradually decreased. The cat had fallen asleep right on top of him.
Great, now I won't be able to move for the next three hours. Not that I mind...