Work Text:
The sun was high in the sky and the light of his rays lightened up the whole bedroom.
Noticing the light, Anxin wakes up and, as soon as he opens his eyes, he tries to find his boyfriend but he isn't in bed with him.
He stretched and sat up on the bed to find out he was alone in the bedroom.
A few moments later, he smelled something good that was coming from the kitchen, so he got up, got himself ready and went straight to the kitchen to understand what was going on.
When he arrived at the kitchen, he was blessed by one of the most beautiful views, Sangwon, his boyfriend, was cooking pancakes, Anxin's favorite type of breakfast, with his shirt sleeves up revealing those toned arms and veiny hands.
After staring in awe for five minutes, Sangwon turned around to find Anxin still staring at him with heart eyes.
Sangwon chuckled softly, how can someone be this cute? He thought to himself.
"Good morning baby, did you sleep well?" Sangwon greeted the youngest, who was still amazed by the view.
"Oh hi hyung, I slept well, how about you?" Anxin asked while approaching Sangwon back hugging him.
"As long as I sleep with you, I always sleep well" Sangwon said, his words made Anxin's heart flip, he was so lucky to have a boyfriend like him.
"How long have you been here? I woke up hoping for some cuddles but you were gone" Anxin said and Sangwon felt the pout on his lips while saying that.
Sangwon turned around facing Anxin, he cupped his face with both hands and kissed his boyfriend's pouty lips, "I was going to surprise you with your favorite but I guess you caught me".
Anxin smiled showing his dimples and the snaggletooth Sangwon adored because it made Anxin be more like a baby.
He kissed both and hugged tightly the youngest, "I promise I'll give you all the cuddles in the world as soon as we eat breakfast" Sangwon stated which made Anxin look forward to it more.
"Hyung the pancakes! They are burning!" Anxin exclaimed, Sangwon's focus went back to the pan where the pancakes were completely burned.
"That's your fault, your beauty make is difficult for me to concentrate!" Sangwon laughed "Fortunately I made more before you came, now sit and look pretty for me".
Sangwon kissed Anxin's forehead and went straight back to work, while waiting, Anxin decided to tease the oldest a little.
"Wow hyung, those biceps look insanely good, have you been working out a lot lately? If you continue I might become a koala and cling to your arms all day" Anxin said with a teasing tone.
Sangwon didn't respond immediately, instead his ear and nape became pinkish from blushing at his words.
"Anxinie~ behave, I'm working hard here" Sangwon said softly but it wasn't enough to stop the teasing.
"Why? Isn't it good to praise my Sangwon oppa" Anxin grinded emphasizing the last word.
Sangwon finished cooking and brought the food to the table then his attention went full back on his little brat.
"You'll be the death of me, lucky for you that you are such an adorable kitty" Sangwon said.
The distance between them disappeared and their lips connected into a passionate kiss full of love, Anxin's back met the table and Sangwon pushed his in the youngest's mouth as soon as he got access, Anxin whined in pleasure and little chuckles were heard from Sangwon.
"Shouldn't we eat first? i don't want your delicious work to get cold" Anxin said after they broke the kiss, Sangwon looked so lovely at Anxin as if he was his precious possession, "Every day i think about how lucky to have someone like you by my side, thank you for being here" Sangwon said while hugging the boy.
"Hyung, how can you be such a cutie, you are going to make me die from your cuteness!!" Anxin cupped the oldest's face and placed light kisses all over his face, eyes, cheeks, forehead, nose and lips, Anxin made sure to shower his love with all the affection he deserves.
"Let's eat now, i'm quite hungry now" Sangwon stated, he pecked Anxin's lips one more time before taking a seat and enjoying breakfast with his loved one.
Anxin took a bite of the pancakes Sangwon worked hard on to make and he immediately enjoyed them, his reaction was so cute that caused Sangwon to laugh.
"Are they good, baby?" Sangwon asked, "GOOD?? THEY ARE THE BEST PANCAKES I HAVE EVER EATEN!!" Anxin exclaimed cheerfully, "Thank you so much for making pancakes hyung, i love you so much" Anxin stood up from his seat and went to kiss Sangwon as a way to thank him, "Anything for my baby, now finish your breakfast so we can cuddle" Sangwon said to the boy and he immediately came back to his seat like a baby, cuddles were important so he had to finish eating as fast as he could.
While Anxin was eating, Sangwon stared at him with a loving gaze, the youngest felt a pair of eyes on him but he was too focused on eating his pancakes.
"Done!" Anxin said after a few moments, "Now let's go i need cuddles so bad that i might die if i don't get to be in your arms", Sanwon laughed at his boyfriend scene "You're so dramatic baby but we have to clean first".
Anxin whined but the cleaning could be done later, cuddling with Sangwon is his top priority now.
The youngest took Sangwon's arm and directed both of them to the bedroom, "Cuddles come first, i'll help you later cleaning" Anxin stated.
Damn. I'm so in love with him. Sangwon thought to himself.
Arriving at the bedroom Anxin threw himself on the bed and patted the place near him to signal Sangwon to join him.
Sangwon layed down near Anxin, the youngest layed down on his chest with his ear right on top of his heart, Sangwon was amazed by the view and placed a kiss on Anxin's head.
Anxin wrapped Sangwon's arm around his waist, where they belonged and stayed like this for the rest of the day.
"Do you believe that it's almost our second anniversary hyung? Time flies when you feel good" Anxin said.
He and Sangwon met thanks to one of their mutual friends, Geonwoo.
Anxin and Geonwoo were in the same class in university and have known each other for a while.
In their second year Sangwon transferred to their class, at first Sangwon grew closer with Geonwoo but then Anxin started to become his friend too.
As time passed, Anxin realized that his feelings for Sangwon went behind the simple friendship, so, with Geonwoo's help, he set up a surprise for Sangwon to confess his feelings.
Lucky for him, Sangwon felt the same way so they officially started dating and now they have been together for almost two years.
"Can't believe that if it wasn't for Geonwoo, he wouldn't be here cuddling now" Sangwon said.
"What do you mean hyung?" Anxin responded, "I mean if it wasn't for you being Geonwoo's friend, I wouldn't have known you and we wouldn't have been dating now" Sangwon replied to the younger question.
Anxin lifted himself so he could face his boyfriend, "So you're telling me that if I wasn't Geonwoo's friend you wouldn't even talk to me?"
Sangwon sensed the sudden shift of Anxin's voice, it was almost angry.
In almost two years of relationship they have never fought, they only had minor discussion but nothing serious.
Sangwon started panicking a little, he didn't know what he did wrong and he didn't want to fight with Anxin.
"Baby, I think you misunderstood my words-" Sangwon got cut off by Anxin's words, "No, I completely understood them, you decided to become my friend out of pity just because I was "Geonwoo's friend", you didn't care about me as myself".
Sangwon froze from hearing those words coming from Anxin, "Maybe even now you don't consider me as Anxin but as Geonwoo's friend".
Anxin sat up on the bed leaving Sangwon still laid down on the bed "You know what, I don't know why we started dating in the first place, if I was only Geonwoo's friend".
Something in Anxin's chest broke, tears started feeling his eyes thinking about what he just realized, maybe Sangwon was using him to become closer to Geonwoo.
"Baby please let me explain, you got it wrong, of course I love you as Anxin" Sangwon said while reaching for Anxin's hand.
Anxin refused the contact and got up from the bed, "You made me realize who I really am to you, thank you Lee Sangwon".
Sangwon sat shocked looking at Anxin leaving them room, they have never argued before and it was suffocating him that he was the reason for the argument.
Back then Sangwon got closer to Geonwoo because he had some feelings for him so he decided to become friends with Anxin but as time passed those feelings for Geonwoo disappeared.
He realized he met an angel, someone he could always count on even during the hardest times, Anxin was always there for him no matter what.
This is what helped Sangwon realize his true feelings for Anxin and how he would love to share more than a simple friendship, he wanted to be there for him as much as the younger did, he wanted to be the shoulder he could cry on when feeling down, he wanted to be his.
Unfortunately before confessing his feelings Anxin faced very hard times, most of the people who were his friends knew him as “Geonwoo's friend” that's why they have lots of common friends.
In class he would always be isolated by the people he considered friends just because they were interested in Geonwoo and they would always leave him alone during breaks, he would stay at home seeing the others hang out without him and it was truly breaking him.
He spent countless nights wondering “do really people like me for who I am?”.
Hearing Sangwon's words broke him even more, was his boyfriend really with him out of pity?
Would he leave him when he was done?
Were his feelings real?
Were these years only a fantasy?
Anxin locked himself in the guest’s room, he couldn't take seeing Sangwon at the moment because he would probably start crying and he didn't want to show his true emotions.
He laid down in the bed and covered himself all the way to the head almost like he was hiding from the world.
Memories flooded his mind, he tried to be strong and think that all of this was a misunderstanding but his mind couldn't take the negative emotions so he cried.
He cried so hard like something was taken away from him, as if all those years of being with Sangwon were all a lie that he truly believed.
“Why does it always happen to me? Am I not enough? Do I even deserve to be loved?” Anxin said while sobbing with tears falling on the blankets.
A few moments later he heard footsteps coming from outside. Sangwon.
Sangwon was standing right in front of the door, he knocked a few times but he was met with silence.
He tried to call Anxin but suddenly he heard sobs from inside the room, Sangwon's eyes widened, he never saw Anxin crying so it was completely new to him and it was even more hurting.
“Baby… please let me in… let me hug and comfort you” Sangwon said while his eyes were full of tears.
The sobs grew and Sangwon started crying too “Please baby… I can't hear you cry… let me see you baby”
Silence. Sobs.
Anxin couldn't reply to Sangwon, he was going through one of his panic attacks, he couldn't breathe properly, he needed to rest.
Sangwon waited for a while hoping for a response from Anxin but he didn't come, he wiped his tears and went to the bedroom so he could calm down a bit.
Anxin took some big breaths so he could calm down, he closed his eyes and slept the rest of the day.
You're not enough.
You are nothing compared to the others.
Look at him, how can someone love him?
Anxin woke up immediately, his mind kept replaying the words that his classmates told him back then, he burned like a cut, a cut that had never fully recovered.
He got up to go to the kitchen and get something to eat and drink since he hadn't eaten anything yet.
As he tried to open the door he realized that something was blocking it or someone.
When he managed to open the door he found Sangwon on the floor, sleeping in front of the room.
They had never slept without holding each other, it was their way to feel safe, a place where no one could come between them.
At the view of Sangwon, a tear fell down his cheek, he held his breath for a bit so he wouldn't wake the older man up.
He drank a glass of water and came back to the room, Sangwon was still there, waiting for him.
Maybe he was being too selfish but at times like this, he needed to be alone.
Days passed and the situation between them didn't change, not even a word, a touch, a look, nothing.
The day of their anniversary came, the tension was still there, it was so thick that I could have been cut with a knife.
Anxin decided to go out for a walk to clear his mind, this whole situation was killing him inside, maybe he should try to speak about it with Sangwon because he couldn't take it anymore.
After an hour Anxin finally came back home, as he entered the elevator his heart started to beat faster and faster.
After a week he was going to talk about his emotions and thoughts to Sangwon.
The elevator opened and he was now in front of the door, he found his keys and entered the apartment.
Silence was what greeted him, he couldn't see a trace of Sangwon so he thought he would have to wait for him to get home so they could finally talk about this whole mess.
He went to their room to grab some new clothes and notice that the bed was still the same since the day of the argument.
For the week, Sangwon slept on the sofa because sleeping in the bed he shared with Anxin without being able to hold him and feel the warmth from his body was a torture for him.
Anxin’s face changed completely, he realized how much Sangwon truly loved him and how foolish it was of him to get mad at him.
He grabbed the clothes he needed and went straight to the bathroom.
There weren't any signs of Sangwon so he went to take a shower to clean up all the sweat from his walk.
Hot water hit his pale skin, thoughts filled his mind and realized that even if he was a shadow, Sangwon loved him for who he was.
He finished showering, put fresh clothes on and went to the guest room.
When he opened the door he was left stunned.
On the bed were placed dozens of petals of blue roses, his favorite flowers, balloons filled the room, chocolates and flowers were placed on the bed and a message was left near the gifts.
“For me you were never just “Geonwoo’s friend “, for me you are the greatest gift that life could ever give me, happy anniversary my baby”
Anxin was truly touched by the gift, he should have never doubted Sangwon's love for him.
“Did you like it baby?” Sangwon appeared behind Anxin, his eyes filled with both love and tears, it was the first time after one week that they talked to each other.
Anxin, still in shock, threw himself in Sangwon's embrace.
“I'm so sorry my love, I should have never doubted your love, you are my favorite human on earth and I could never imagine my life without you” Anxin said while tears fell on his cheeks.
Hearing those words Sangwon finally breathed a sigh of relief, his baby was back in his arms for what felt like an eternity.
“I'm so sorry if my words hurt you baby, I'll always love you for who you are, I love you as Anxin, as my baby and as my comfort person, please forgive me” Sangwon said.
He cupped the younger cheeks and looked at him in the eyes, he missed looking and touching his boyfriend and now he was glad that they could be back to their daily routine where neither of them could be apart from the other even for a minute.
“Your gift is so beautiful but I don't have anything prepared,” Anxin pouted.
Sangwon chuckled softly, how can someone be this cute even while crying? he thought to himself.
“Having you in my arms is the best gift you could ever give me, I'm so lucky to have you in my life, I love you so much” Sangwon said while caressing Anxin cheeks with his thumbs.
“I love you too my love, I missed you so much, I missed your voice, your presence, your hugs, everything about you” Anxin stated.
The distance between them disappeared and they shared a passionate kiss, it was full of love and it was so nice feeling each other's lips after being apart for a week.
That kiss didn't only share love but their truly feeling that could be described with words but only by actions like they did for the last two years.
After a while they broke the kiss so they could catch a breath, they missed each other a lot.
“How about a cuddle session before sleeping? So we can make up for the session we missed” Sangwon asked as he kissed Anxin’s nose.
Anxin’s face lit up, he grabbed Sangwon's arm and dragged him to their bedroom, both of them laid on the bed and hugged each other.
“Finally I can sleep peacefully with my favorite person, the sofa was quite uncomfortable” Sangwon said while stroking Anxin's hair.
“Now we are here and we can spend as much time as you want like this” Anxin responded with a soft smile that showed his dimples.
They were so lucky to have found each other, when he thought nobody actually liked him for who he was, Sangwon was there to love him as he deserved.
For their second anniversary, this was the best gift ever, be in each other's arms felt like coming home after a long time ♡