Chapter Text
The rising sun swept across the Town of Bullworth, casting light inside of the Academy and across its campus. As the day began, prefects started their daily routines. The four senior students divided themselves, two keeping watch of the main building, and the other two patrolling school grounds. Students reluctantly crawled out of bed, some preparing to go talk to teachers about more private matters—grades, due dates, etc. Most had already gone into town, wasting no time to escape the dump others called a school.
Thankfully, it was the weekend. Two days of freedom until the miserable routine of morning and afternoon classes returned. Melvin's alarm had gone off four times, while his BlackBerry buzzed relentlessly with several texts and ten missed calls. He had preferred to sleep in today, but it seemed his attention was needed elsewhere.
With a groan, Melvin rolled onto his back and stared up at the cracked, peeling ceiling of the Boy’s Dorm. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he reached over to shut off his knight-themed alarm before finally picking up his phone. His expression soured as he looked at the notifications. The last thing he wanted today was to deal with another one of Earnest’s schemes, but judging by the flood of messages, it didn't seem like he had much of a choice.
Melvin watched his phone erupt into another fit of buzzing, the same obnoxious ringtone that had repeatedly interrupted his attempts at sleeping in. He rubbed a hand across his face, then finally answered.
"Why haven't you answered any of my calls?! This is important, Melvin! I need you at the hideout–now!” Earnest sounded equal parts worried and irritated, clearly unhappy that his calls and texts had gone unanswered.
"Whuh- Okay, okay! Melvin the Great will be there!" Melvin replied, trying to sound enthusiastic even though his voice lacked its usual gusto. Before Earnest could continue, Melvin hung up and tossed his phone onto his bed. He wasn’t in the mood to head to the comic store.
On any other day, Melvin would’ve been excited. His beautiful Grottos and Gremlins set waiting for him, Fatty and Bucky eager to continue their campaign. Beatrice would probably be sitting at a nearby desk, either studying or looking for the cure to cancer. Algernon and Donald caught up in a conversation, while Thad gathered up his yardsticks with care. They were his friends, and he genuinely enjoyed their time spent together.
Still, it was barely morning. There would be plenty of time to see everyone later in the afternoon. Right now, all Melvin wanted was a few more minutes of peace before dealing with whatever Earnest needed him for.
Melvin pulled on his favorite striped polo shirt, the one with a small knight stitched onto the chest, near the sleeve. He dug out a random pair of jeans from his dresser and slipped on his well-worn shoes, which were long overdue for a cleaning. After grabbing his things, Melvin left the boy’s dorm and stepped out under the morning sun.
If it had been a school day, Melvin probably would’ve been hauled off by the collar to Dr. Crabblesnitch’s office before he could make it ten steps into town. Fortunately, it was the weekend, leaving him free to hop on his bike and pedal to the Nerd’s hideout. After parking his bike into the alleyway near the Dragon's Wing Comic Store—where several other bikes, all belonging to his friends, sat—Melvin slid off and entered through the front door. He quietly slipped past Zack, who was slumped over the front desk, fast asleep. As soon as Melvin entered the basement, Earnest immediately yanked him by the collar.
"Melvin! Oh, thank heavens you’ve arrived, my advisor! Greetings, greetings! Come with me!" Without waiting for a reply, Earnest released his collar and ushered him into the back room.
Thad, Bucky, Donald, Cornelius, and Algie were gathered around Fatty. They hardly paid the two any attention as they passed, save for a quick glance. Their focus was entirely fixed on Fatty, who’s eyes were practically glued to the ConSumo arcade cabinet.
Melvin took a seat on the couch while Earnest closed the door behind them. Earnest slowly turned to look at Melvin, quickly adjusting his glasses, and eagerly began. “I haven't told any of the others yet, but I’ve finally come up with a truly ingenious plan. One that will keep those brainless brutes off our backs for quite some time!”
Earnest then turned towards a cluttered pile of papers, shuffling through years’ worth of abandoned strategies and failed schemes. After a moment, his eyes lit up as he pulled a rolled-up poster from the stack.
“There she is,” he declared proudly, holding it up so Melvin could see the whole thing clearly. “This is the answer.”
Across the top of the poster, written in thick, bright red marker, were the words—
"OPERATION: TROJAN COW! IN PROGRESS!!"
Earnest snatched a nearby thumbtack and pinned the poster to the bulletin board. Melvin adjusted his glasses and leaned in for a closer look. Is that.. the mascot costume?
Earnest beamed, noticing Melvin’s gaze. “Ah! I see you've noticed! You know how Jimmy has been helping us out?”
“Indeed,” Melvin replied, folding his arms over his chest. “I am well aware of Young Jimmy’s efforts on behalf of our kingdom. But– why the mascot costume?”
Earnest clasped his hands together, unable to hide his excitement. “I’ll spare you the suspense. In order to strike back at those meatheads, I’ve decided to place my trust in Jimmy. At the right moment, he’ll steal the mascot costume, put it on, perform that utterly ridiculous dance, distract the Jocks, and create absolute chaos across the football field!” Earnest threw his arms into the air, looking quite pleased with himself.
“It’s brilliant, Melvin! The game they’ve all been obsessing over will have everyone watching. There couldn’t possibly be a better opportunity to serve my favorite dish…”
A grin spread across his face.
“Revenge.”
Melvin studied the poster for another moment, before giving a slow, thoughtful nod. “I must admit, this is considerably better than our previous attempts to get back at the Jocks. This- This may be the opportunity we’ve been waiting for…”
Melvin met Earnest’s eyes, a smile spreading across his face as he adjusted his glasses once again. "Well, Sir Earnest. I- I daresay you’ve outdone yourself this time. We’ll still need to determine the details. Fortunately, you may leave that part to me.”
Earnest visibly beamed. “Ah, it’s refreshing to have someone around here who appreciates true intellect!” Earnest said proudly. “I’ll be watching those dim-witted louts make complete fools of themselves, and I’ll have the biggest SMILE on my face.”
Compared to every scheme they had come up with over the past semester, this one seemed somewhat practical. Would they finally have an upper hand over the Jocks?
Melvin quietly stepped out of the back room, leaving Earnest to his plans. On his way out, he waved to the other Nerds, but they were too absorbed in watching Fatty. Ever since Jimmy came and knocked him out of first place, Fatty had become obsessed with beating both his and Jimmy’s high-score, spending every spare moment glued to the ConSumo machine.
Melvin sighed and moved past them, preparing to head up and out of the basement. A chorus of excited cheers erupted from behind. He glanced back over his shoulder just in time to see Algie jumping into the air, squealing like a girl. The others crowded around Fatty, trying to lift him up in the air and, ultimately, failing. Fatty dropped to the floor with a dull thud, glasses knocking off and clattering beside him. Thad was the first one to step away, clamping a hand over his nose.
“Ough– you s’think!” Thad exclaimed, glaring down at Fatty from behind his horn-rimmed glasses. As Melvin left the basement, he could hear the sounds of overlapping voices echo below. Judging by the shouting, they had already moved from celebrating to arguing.