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Coco had never been in Agott’s room before.
It seemed like far too deeply personal a space to invade, and for someone like Agott, who strongly valued her privacy, a massive overstep of boundaries. And Coco respected that… of course she did - even if curiosity did creep into her mind from time to time, on how different Agott’s dwelling might have been from her own.
How much did it reflect its owner, she wondered? Agott had been here far longer than her, surely she had accrued a more vast collection of personal belongings. Maybe it would be nice to see it all one day, to learn more about her… after all, despite their growing closeness, so much of Agott still remained so enigmatic to Coco. Silver Eve had given her but a glimpse, a peek through the cracks in the walls Agott had built around herself, and Coco couldn’t deny the strong tug in her heart, the yearning to see more of those truer facets to Agott’s character.
Coco was to see her wish granted on one, lazy afternoon.
As the birds outside their window heralded the new spring with their joyous songs, Coco found her study area oddly missing one of its usual occupants, and yet still she could hear nearby shuffling and movement from somewhere within.
“Agott?” There was no response to her call, but the scuffles paused briefly, silence lingering for a beat, perhaps two, before starting up again.
It was both a commendable, and dangerous quality Coco held; her inquisitive nature. It had led her to both horrors from the deepest depths of her nightmares, and wonders beyond her wildest dreams. Of course, right here and now, she felt rather certain she wouldn’t find the former at least, so there was little on the line. Practically a negligible risk in approaching the sounds.
…So why was she hesitating at the steps leading down to Agott’s chambers? What part of Coco’s heart still tightened in anxiety - in anticipation of a barbed tongue and venomous anger at the slightest misstep, or misreading of their growing bond? Agott had promised during Silver Eve she would never hurt Coco like that again, and Coco believed her with every inch of her heart, and yet-
Shuffling her toes against the brick floor, she tried again; “Agott? Are you down there?”
“Yeah,” the clarity of Agott’s voice startled Coco, not as muffled as she had expected, the sound unhindered by the usually closed, thick, wooden door. “Did you need something?”
For such a simple question, Coco didn’t really know how to answer. Did she need something? Not really, and yet that twitching urge, the craving to draw closer, it clawed at the back of her mind. Her feet moved on their own, a single step down the spiral stairs. Then another. And then a pause.
“Um… is it alright if I come down?”
“Oh. Yeah, sure.”
Relief flooded Coco’s restless mind as she descended, letting her palm brush against the rough textures of the stoney brick wall, before she stopped again just shy of Agott’s threshold.
The door was open. Which… made sense of course, given their conversation had carried so easily within their shared dorm. But it still felt so odd to see, when until now Agott’s room had always been so clearly off-limits. Such a private, protected space, as closely guarded as Agott’s own heart, and now Coco felt frozen again, so unsure of where their boundaries truly lie. Instead, she let her fingertips tentatively brush against the doorframe, peering through into Agott’s secretive sanctuary.
She wasn’t quite sure what she had expected, and yet somehow it conformed so perfectly to everything she knew about Agott. Bookshelves lined her walls, each full to the brim with thick tomes, fascinating components, and little ornaments from the Great Hall. Beautiful, decorative tapestries filled the few spaces where the bookshelves weren’t, many embroidered with intricate, geometric shapes and patterns, and others depicting various flora and fauna from around the peninsula. The room was awash with hues of violet and midnight blue, though the light beaming in through Agott’s window painted warm pinks and oranges and golds on her floorboards, like that of a setting sun, even though it was only midday.
When Coco quirked her head, peeking around to see more, she grew to understand why – the glass of Agott’s window had been replaced, or transformed somehow, now far more resembling the beautiful stain glassed windows of a cathedral. Coco stared, completely awed by its complex shapes, of the stars, and moons of all phases… and then her eyes trailed to Agott in this space, with wooden boxes in arms and a wrinkle in her nose as she calculated something in her mind.
She looked so pretty, bathed in this eventide glow. Coco could have so easily believed Agott to be the muse for some famous artist’s masterfully done paintings - the longer she looked, the more she felt the world around them turn to brushstrokes. This space, her room, it framed her so perfectly, like a proud work of art, and Coco could only watch awestruck as the colours danced brightly against Agott’s dark hair, kissing the skin of her cheek as she turned-
“You can come in, you know,” Agott called over without even looking at her, in a tone as though she was pointing out something blaringly obvious. “You don’t have to hover awkwardly at the door like that.”
Coco felt her cheeks and ears sting with heat as a strange guilt sunk in her heart. Had Agott known she was staring? It felt as though she had been caught red-handed doing something she shouldn’t have. She responded sheepishly with a small, “O-Oh. Thank you.”
With timid steps, Coco entered the room, now taking time to admire the crystalline stars dangling from Agott’s ceiling as they sparkled in the light and swayed softly to and fro. She couldn’t help but wonder if they had been a gift from Richeh, or perhaps Agott had been inspired by her speciality with the crystal ribbons.
“It’s so beautiful in here,” the words slipped off Coco’s tongue before she could catch them. They certainly seemed to catch Agott off guard as she almost dropped the book she was filing away.
“Oh, you… you think so?” The pink on her cheeks from the sunbeams trailing in seemed to darken somewhat. She ran a hand up through the back of her curls. “It’s uh… just stuff, really. And to be honest it’s not at its tidiest right now.”
Perhaps Coco had been so enamoured with the natural, magical aura of Agott’s room, that she hadn’t noticed until now the various sized boxes laying all about the place. On her bed, and scattered about the floor were wooden crates stuffed with books and the occasional, seemingly random, dusty object. A chipped, ceramic inkpot, a rolled up tapis, what seemed to be an ornate looking jewellery box…
Coco tried not to snoop too much, but it was hard not to when her eyes seemed to dart around of their own free will. “Are you doing some spring cleaning?”
“Mm... something like that, yes,” Agott tossed another heavy looking book in the box closest to Coco, who squeaked and instinctively jumped to the side. “I’m trying to declutter a bit. It was getting claustrophobic in here, and I need to make space anyway for new books this year.”
Agott paused where she was brushing her fingers over the spines of the tomes on her shelves. “If you see any books you’re interested in, you can have them. Otherwise they’ll just go into storage, or be sent back to the Great Hall.”
Coco cheerfully took her up on that offer. As she rummaged around through the crates, she set aside a few books of interest on the end of Agott’s bed, neatly stacked in front of a row of her beloved stuffed animals. Most of the primers looked too advanced for Coco, but still she reasoned that it might be handy for the future. It wasn’t all spellbooks in here though, she discovered. Multiple works of fiction had also found their way into the crates, and those, admittedly, caught her eye far more.
“You know… I recognise some of these plays and fairytales. I never took you for the romantic type, Agott,” Coco teased lightly, and her grin only widened as Agott froze and inhaled sharply, a pair of bright, violet eyes very suddenly glaring into her own. Agott’s face was beet red, and she raised a trembling finger to jab threateningly in Coco’s direction, her lips thin, jaw clenched, looking like she was about to explode. Coco waved her hands up in surrender before she could.
“No, wait! I-It’s okay! Really! I think those kinds of stories are fun too!” Her words seemed to temper Agott’s flames, and she exhaled long and deep through her nose, her face regaining its usual composure as her blush retreated.
“T-They’re… fine,” she muttered. “But I’m more interested in the drama and political background of those stories,” which was a very Agott excuse, Coco determined, as to not admit out loud that she liked the cute, schmaltzy side of the tales deep down.
When Agott returned to reorganising and pulling books free of her shelves, (her ears still notably pink even as she tried to obscure her face from view) Coco let her attention fall back to the crates, rummaging around for anything else useful, or, if she was being honest with herself, anything that might give more insight into her dear friend.
Little did she know, she was about to find it. As she carefully pushed past a carefully carved, toy pegasus, her fingertips caught on something – a thick string – that when accidentally plucked, reverberated a rich, melodic sound. Both of them froze, stunned into stillness, before slowly Coco peeked deeper into the box, her hands smoothing over the curved, wooden frame of a small, musical instrument. She held it up so that Agott could see, and quirked her head questioningly.
“My old violin,” Agott nodded, her expression all at once very hard to read. She was doing that rather frustrating thing again, where she was trying to keep her face as neutral as possible to hide whatever she was truly feeling from Coco.
So, naturally, Coco decided to do what she knew she was very good at. “So, in addition to being the most incredible, inspiring witch I know,” she said sweetly. “You’re telling me that you’re also talented in the bardic arts?”
It smashed through Agott’s wall instantly like a cannonball. Her eyes widened as she spluttered, and Coco watched as her lips twitched, fighting a proud yet sheepish smile and losing desperately, the huffs turning into small bursts of quiet chortles. But then something sad crossed Agott’s eyes and the smile was gone as quickly as it appeared, a distant memory seeming to come into focus.
“I-I’m not… look, that thing hasn’t been played in over five years. You can’t just go around saying something like that.” Still, it seemed to have distracted her enough from her task that she approached, perching on the bed on the other side of the box from Coco. She reached within and retrieved the violin’s bow, twirling it slowly between her fingers contemplatively. “It was only ever a childish hobby, anyhow.”
Slowly, Coco shifted the box aside so that she could scoot closer to Agott until their knees and shoulders brushed. “What made you decide to pick it up?” She asked, her words feeling strangely delicate on the tip of her tongue. “I-If you don’t mind me asking.”
“My uncle,” Agott replied sourly. “He bought me one because I enjoyed watching him play at the galas we held in the manor. My mother was furious. She said he was poisoning my mind, because he was jealous that he wasn’t chosen to be the next head librarian. And that I needed to focus more on my studies, unless I wanted to be cast aside too. What a lot of good that did me.”
Agott collapsed backwards onto the thick duvet staring up miserably at the ceiling. “I don’t even know why I brought it here with me. Spite, maybe?”
Coco mirrored Agott, falling backwards onto the bed to lay beside her, clutching the violin to her chest as she stared up at the twinkling crystal stars above them. Only from this view could she observe just how carefully Agott had placed each one, creating a constellation even Coco could recognise from her early studies. Luxia, the Maiden of Light. Fitting… Coco thought, before she let her attention return to their conversation.
“So… you stopped because of your mother?”
“It was a… worthless endeavour,” Agott’s eyes darkened slightly, her brow furrowing. Her voice almost didn’t sound like her own – or rather, it sounded a lot like the old Agott, the Agott Coco had first met last year. She had almost forgotten how harsh she could sound. “A distraction, unbefitting a potential heir of the Arklaum House.”
“Worthless…” Coco echoed quietly, her voice dull. At the word, Agott seemed to bristle, stiffening as she clenched the fabric beneath her into her fists with a barely veiled pain on her face. Coco brushed a thumb over the violin’s wooden surface pensively. “…Did you enjoy playing it?”
“Does it matter?” At Coco’s nod, Agott sighed. Her voice grew a touch softer, almost as though she was afraid anyone else might hear. “I suppose so, yes.”
“Then I wouldn’t say it was worthless at all,” Coco smiled as she rolled onto her side to face Agott. “Not if it made you happy.”
Silence graced the room. Agott didn’t say anything in reply. She only stared at Coco wonderstruck, lips slightly parted, clearly trying to read her face. Coco reached out slowly, and she let her hand curl around Agott’s, the one holding the bow. She could feel her grip on the stick loosen, fingers parting to let Coco’s fill the gaps.
“Do you remember how to play?”
“I-I… don’t know,” Agott’s voice was almost lost on a breath, her eyes not leaving Coco’s. Her eyes… had they always been such a deep, dark shade of purple? Coco wondered quietly to herself, before noting that, no, her pupils were just… much larger in contrast right now. They certainly seemed to have dilated a significant amount in the seconds since Coco had touched her hand.
…Must have been a strange trick of the light.
“Do you want to find out?”
And then hesitation painted Agott’s face. Some deep seeded worry as she fidgeted and finally broke her gaze away from Coco’s face. “I don’t know,” she repeated, but this time there was something a little more solid to her words.
But then Coco was brushing her thumb absentmindedly over Agott’s fingers, and as she stared at her pleadingly, she watched Agott’s resolve crack. ‘Play me a song. Please.’
With a deep sigh, Agott relented, rising from the bed and tugging the violin away from Coco’s embrace.
“Alright. But you had better not make fun of me when it sounds terrible.”
***
“Well, it’s certainly… smaller than I remember.”
A nervous chuckle filled the air as Agott rested the instrument timidly on her shoulder. Admittedly, it did look a little awkward as Agott furrowed her brow and tried to find the best way to hold it, twisting her arms, neck, and back with gruff little noises of frustration until finally something like recognition crossed her face and she finally stood still. As the bow rose starward, Coco leaned forward where she sat on the edge of Agott’s bed, watching with bated breath knowing with certainty she was about to witness something beautiful.
But the violin was not interested in singing a harmonious melody. It shrieked angrily at the bow’s touch, and both girls flinched in alarm, the bow almost clattering out of Agott’s hand.
“O-Oh… I guess it’s um, a little out of tune,” Agott turned away, flustered, as she began to adjust the pegs, a red flush creeping up the back of her neck. “Sorry about that. One moment…”
Coco waited patiently, glancing about the room anywhere but Agott, as it seemed watching her only seemed to rattle her nerves further. Then, again, Agott turned back toward Coco, standing tall and feigning a level of confidence as she returned to her familiar pose. Still, Coco could see Agott’s hands tremble slightly. So, she smiled warmly as she caught Agott’s eye, and watched it reflect back at her.
And then, she played.
It wasn’t perfect. Far from, in fact. It was incredibly pitchy in places, and clearly Agott was struggling to remember the chords she had learnt so long ago. Coco wasn’t sure why she expected a song either, and not just a series of the practice sounds and conflicting tunes, that Agott presented – perhaps her expectations had been unfairly high. After all, right now, Agott didn’t look like the prodigal child Coco had come to perceive her to be. She stood before Coco clumsy, and embarrassed, and inexperienced. She grimaced at each fumbled note, mumbling under her breath about how ‘this would be so much easier with a music sheet’, and yet she didn’t let it defeat her. She kept trying, again, and again, and again, getting the hang of it a little more each time, improvising something amateurish yet vaguely melodic.
But something sunk in Coco’s heart. If this passion hadn’t been crushed by her family, how much further along would she be by now? How much more confident? They had stolen this from her in order to make her conform to their expectations, and she was suffering for it.
Still… maybe there was hope. In a way, it reminded Coco of herself when she first started magic. Qifrey had likened her to a newborn foul, just learning to stand, and now Coco could see it for herself within Agott. ‘If she sticks at it, soon she’ll be frolicking’, Coco thought. It certainly wasn’t too late for her to pick this back up again… and oh how Coco hoped she would.
Coco continued to watched silently, enraptured, and perhaps just a touch distracted as Agott finally began to smile and relax into it. She looked so striking, her eyes narrowed as they stared with great focus at the neck of the violin, and the sun cast its rays upon her as though it too was proud to witness her.
‘If I could,’ Coco thought. ‘I would create a thousand paintings of this moment.’
And then all at once, the room fell quiet once more, and whatever façade of bravado fizzled away the moment Agott met Coco’s eye. The bow slowly sunk along with Agott’s shoulders, and Coco felt Agott’s gaze piercing into her, trying to read her expression like a book. But whatever she saw she had clearly misconstrued, as a melancholy now painted her expression.
“You were expecting more, weren’t you?” Her voice was painfully small, like a young child cowering in the shadow of a cruel and looming figure. “I’m… sorry to disappoint.”
No. That wouldn’t do.
Coco’s legs moved on their own as she sprung up, strode forward, and immediately flung her arms around a startled Agott. The girl staggered back with a tiny squeak in Coco’s ear, and Coco squeezed her tight, resting her chin on Agott’s shoulder.
“Thank you,” she said softly.
“W-What?” Agott’s voice came out about an octave higher than usual before she cleared her throat, lightly curling an arm in turn around Coco’s back. “I mean, uh… for what?”
“For trusting me. That must have been scary to do.”
The tension in Agott’s body eased slightly. She set down the violin on her bedside table before Coco felt her close the hug properly with a deep sigh. A cheek was pressed into Coco’s own shoulder, Agott’s whole weight now resting in her arms, and Coco couldn’t help but smile wider as she felt a finger trace little stars absentmindedly between her shoulder blades.
Once, not too long ago, she’d never thought she would see the day that Agott would reciprocate her hugs like this. In fact, for a long time Coco had reasoned that Agott hated them, that she despised being touched in any way, and only barely tolerated people being close to her in any capacity.
Now she knew that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Agott had simply gone without any form of affection for so long that she didn’t know how to navigate, or process it. But she was learning, in the same way that Coco was learning that actually, Agott adored being held like this, regardless of if she would admit it or not. After all, she never quite seemed like she wanted to let go.
Coco loosened her arms to a dangle around Agott’s waist, pulling back just enough to meet her eye again. “You know, I would really like to hear you play more often.”
A puzzled expression tugged at Agott’s brow, her own arms now slinking over and down Coco’s shoulders as her hands came to rest on her guest’s upper arms. “…Even though it was bad?”
“It really wasn’t that bad, Agott,” Coco laughed. “You’re always far too hard on yourself.”
“Hmm.” A tiny smile quirked at the corners of Agott’s lips. “Well… if you absolutely must insist on listening to me play-”
“Oh, I do,” Coco interrupted, playfully mimicking Agott’s very distinctive accentuation. “I really do quite insist.”
Agott almost doubled over with a surprised laugh, clinging to Coco to support herself, and the sound released a swarm of butterflies in Coco’s chest, warmth prickling at her cheeks. “Well then,” Agott continued, her words still punctuated with little warbles of mirth. Her tone became slightly more playful as she now let her forearms rest on Coco’s shoulders, dangling her hands behind her. “I suppose I’ll have to pick up some music books next time we’re in Kalhn, won’t I?”
Coco grinned, but then faltered for a moment, letting her gaze break from Agott and fall back to the violin. “Hmm… You’ll probably need a new violin too, won’t you? You looked like you were struggling a little with how small it was.”
Agott hummed softly in agreement. She pulled away from Coco’s embrace slowly, reluctantly, before lifting the instrument again, running a thumb back and forth against its neck. Her gaze turned thoughtful as she twirled it slightly in her hands.
“You know, I was just going to get rid of this,” she said quietly. “But… maybe I’ll just put it in storage after all. Until there comes a day I can pass it on to someone else who might be interested.”
Coco smiled fondly at her. “It’s full of memories, isn’t it?” When Agott nodded wistfully, Coco stepped closer and let her knuckles caress its frame. “I can tell. It has little doodles all over it, I assume from when you were younger.”
Blinking out of her trance, Agott turned the violin on its side and stared down at the marks she had left years prior. Coco tapped a finger gently over them with a knowing glance back up at her. “You were practicing decorative sigils, weren’t you?”
“Mm… not really practicing. I just enjoyed drawing them,” Agott mused. “You should have seen my bedroom wall back at the Great Hall, Coco. The bricks were covered in them.”
It wasn’t hard to imagine, a small Agott hunched over on the floor with bright, excited eyes sketching pattern after pattern… honing her craft and her passion for this line of magic.
“Agott, you rebel!” Coco teased, leaning closer with an impish smile. “So now I learn the truth. You’re a graffiti artist as well!”
Agott rubbed her temple glancing away bashfully. “W-Well, I suppose, when you put it that way…” She trailed off for a moment before huffing through her nose and standing taller again. “Although, I’ll have you know I’ve grown out of that particular habit.”
“A shame, really,” Coco shook her head. “I think I’m a bit of a fan of renegade Agott.”
There was something so comfortable about the quiet hum of conversation that passed between them as they returned to sitting on Agott’s bed together, cross legged with the violin between them, turning it over and over as Agott explained in detail each part of it, how it worked, and of course, when it was clear where Coco’s interest lie, each of the sigils she had lined its case with.
In the weeks that followed, Agott did, in fact, find herself in the possession of a new violin, and Coco was delighted to find that it too found itself marked with a variety of decorative sigils and patterns. Not all of them were made by Agott either – Coco had added her own marks to the instrument at Agott’s insistence.
When Coco added a spell to the violin which made warm, orbs of light float from the strings when played, an emotional Agott had clutched Coco’s hands, stared at her resolutely in the eyes, and promised that when she had developed the skills to do so, she would write a song dedicated to her.
Oh, how she longed to see that day. But Coco was patient – in the meantime she felt honoured enough simply watching Agott grow in confidence and skill, elated by the private little concerts Agott now held in her room.
One thing was for certain, Coco thought, watching gleefully as Agott weaved a melody in the moonlight. She would gladly listen to Agott’s music for the rest of her life.