Chapter Text
Peter Parker was in trouble, there was no doubt about it. Only, this time, the enemy he faced wasn't clad in a mechanical suit or some sort of animal-related gimmick. (Seriously, were all his super villains so predictable? Vulture. Rhino. Doctor Octopus. At least the green goblin named himself after- wait. Is a goblin an animal? Is that a bad thought to have?) Great. Now he was going to have to find out if it was possible to be goblin-racist. That would be a good distraction from-
“Peter, dear, you're stalling.” May’s voice was soft as always, and it cut through his thoughts.
“Mm,” he started, then stopped. “Wait.”
May looked at him. If his senses hadn't been dialled to a hundred - scratch that, three hundred, he wouldn’t have noticed the slight raise in her eyebrows. Peter made one last-ditch attempt to delay the inevitable. “Should we say a prayer first?”
Now her eyebrows shot all the way up. Peter sighed, and lifted the envelope with one hand. It was sturdy, and embossed with the logo of the Four he’d seen so many times before. His name was written on the front. Peter checked the weight of the letter, let his fingers run across the edges and over the corners. He inhaled, but didn’t have time to speak.
“Peter.” May was right. Dammnit.
Here goes nothing.
“Fine.” In one motion, he ripped the envelope open, pulled out the glossy paper inside, and started to read.
“Dear Mister Parker, we are delighted to-” A squeal came from somewhere deep within him. Peter couldn’t help it. He certainly wasn’t proud of it. He squealed again, like a schoolgirl being asked to prom.
May hushed him, but a huge grin spread across her face. “Maybe read the rest now, dear.”
Peter tried to compose himself, but he mirrored May’s grin as he continued, “We are delighted to offer you a paid-” He let out a whoop. “Internship in our biochemical laboratories here at Fantastic Four Inc. You will join a team of world-class scientists in our R&D department and, alongside your study at MIT- yada yada,” Peter skimmed ahead a little, “...change the world… meet the heroes… ooh! I start a week from Monday!”
May beamed at him.
— — —
Peter found himself itching for patrol that night, and once May had excused herself for the night, he crawled straight out of his bedroom window and leapt into the New York sky. Something about the adrenaline of landing his dream internship had really put him in the mood for kicking crime’s metaphorical ass. An ass that well and truly does not quit.
He chuckled to himself. This was perfect. A job doing what he loved, alongside his other job doing the other thing he loved. Everything was coming up Peter.
The rest of the night was smooth. Spider-Man stopped three muggings, two car thefts, and one bank robbery. He couldn’t help but chuckle as he swung in to tackle the last one - who tried to hold up a bank anymore? The number of superheroes roaming New York’s streets made it extraordinarily stupid. Not to mention incredibly cliché. ‘Give me all your money.’ It only worked in the movies - a fact which Peter made sure to let them know once he’d webbed them to the bank’s high ceilings. God, he loved a captive audience.
Now, as the night was winding down. Peter found himself perched high on the Brooklyn Bridge, legs dangling like a toddler in a high chair, humming to himself. The bright blue of the Baxter Building, his new workplace (!!!!) was clearly visible on the horizon. He could just about make out an orange flame circling the building - no doubt the Human Torch headed out for the night.
Before he could watch any further, an eerie tingle danced down his neck. The world became sharp; he could distinguish between each car’s engine on the bridge below him, between the wingbeats of each pigeon as it flew past. With a deep breath, Peter pushed himself off the concrete and let his weight carry him through the air. He took a deep breath. Something was wrong. His spider-sense never betrayed him. What was it?
There. Something was happening.
The East side of the bridge. A park. Figures running - but from what? Peter outstretched his wrists, shot a web from each, and channeled his momentum into a slingshot motion. He soared over the trees and landed gently on the grass. The problem was obvious now. Wait. Was it?
A scaly green monster growled at the other end of the park. Peter would even dare to call it a… dinosaur? A crocodile? Please don’t have another animal name, he begged. There was no way other superheroes would take him seriously if yet another of his villains sounded like a Cartoon Network character. (Peter was still convinced that Doctor Octopus would be an adorable name for a show set in a deep-sea hospital, but all his attempts at online crowdfunding had failed.)
He shot a web and swung towards the creature. It didn’t matter what he called it, the news would have picked their own villain name by the time he woke up in the morning. The Bugle would claim it was an endangered species he’d ruthlessly attacked. He was used to it.
“Hey!” He called down, and the creature roared in response. Now he was up close, he could see just how massive this thing was. Easily more than twice Peter’s height, and wide as a van. “Do you-” the creature swung itself with unexpected speed and Peter had to jump over its tail. He was able to land a punch to the back of its scaly head, to no effect. “Do you,” he continued, “have a nickname?” The creature snarled, and made to jump towards the road. Peter found purchase on the uneven tail, but was yanked forwards. “...something scary maybe?” He lost his grip on the tail, and the creature shot out of his reach and crashed into a parked car. Broken glass scattered across the sidewalk. Peter sent webs streaming after the beast, and was able to pull it off balance and onto its side. “Maybe something inspired by Doctor Doom?” All he got in response was another growl as he was wrestled to the floor. “Mister Sinister?” The beast showed no signs of slowing. “Galactus?” He spun out of the way of a taloned claw, and retaliated with another punch to the creature’s midsection. This wasn’t working. Time for webs.
Peter leapt into the air and started to spray the beast, but it was no use. His webs simply slid off its skin, or were cut apart by talons where they landed on the ground. “Shit.” The creature turned a scaly head to look at him, eyes narrow and serpentine. Then it spoke.
“Sssspider-man.”
Peter threw his arms in the air in frustration. “So you can talk,” he leapt into the air again, “why didn’t-” he lands a punch on the creature’s jaw, “didn’t-” another punch, but this time the beast reacts, “you answer-” a scaly claw wraps around his leg, talons piercing the suit, “my questions?” The end of his sentence is abruptly high-pitched as Peter is lifted off of the ground and thrown across the park.
Before he could dust himself off and jump back into the fray, the sky lit up. Bursts of flame struck the creature across its back. Angry roars filled the park, but the barrage of fire didn’t stop. Peter’s breath caught in his throat as the Human Torch flitted around the sky, well out of reach of any retaliation. It was elegant, it was graceful, it was… frustrating. Peter had this under control. He knew he did.
It only fuelled him to get back up. Peter launched himself back towards the creature, but shifted at the last minute to avoid a wall of flame blocking his path.
“What the hell, man?” He called up to the sky.
“Stay out of the way, web-head.” The sky shot back to him.
Not a chance. Spider-man could handle this. He flipped over the fire and sent webs shooting towards the creature. “I’ve got this under control, Torch.”
There was a chuckle from somewhere above him. “Huh. You had me fooled.”
Peter’s webs made contact with an overflowing dumpster just past the beast and he yanked it towards him. “I don’t see a cosmic threat. This is below your paygrade, flame-br-” The creature tumbled hard, but Peter had misjudged his position. A snarling ball of scales and claws swept into the spider and knocked him off his feet.
They ran out of momentum about a hundred feet into the park. Peter leapt to his feet, but- thank god- the creature stayed down. The Human Torch landed gracefully next to them and his flames extinguished themselves with a quick whoomph. His gaze met Peter’s and he raised an eyebrow.
“Told you I didn’t need your help, Torch.”
“No,” the Torch waved towards the creature, “you and the Lizard here were having a great time.”
Peter inhaled sharply and he was speaking before he could register it. “Ohmygod please don’t tell me that’s its name.” He dramatically held the back of his hand to his forehead. “I can’t handle another stupid villain name.”
The Torch didn’t reply, but Peter could see the corners of his mouth tilting upwards. It suddenly struck Peter that maybe he should be more careful around the other hero, given his new job. Would the Torch be his boss? Surely not. Johnny Storm was in the Fantastic Four, sure, but while his sister Susan and Doctor Richards were well-known geniuses, Johnny was well-known for being, well, a heartthrob and a playboy. He would be out of place in a lab, right?
Peter realised no one was talking. “Destroyer of Worlds.”
The Torch, clearly Johnny Storm now, smirked. “Excuse me, Spidey?”
Peter gestured at the Lizard- fuck. Not the lizard. “That’s what I’m calling him. I’m sick of Spider-Man having boring villains.”
“Boring villains?” Storm was watching him closely, with unflinching eyes that lived up to his reputation. Peter could feel Spider-Man’s trademark confidence fading. He really just wanted Johnny Storm to leave him alone. Peter didn’t respond.
“Right. Well you and the destroyer of worlds here can enjoy the rest of your date,” Storm turned to leave, “I’ll see you around, Spidey?”
Spider-Man grumbled, not letting the other hero's charisma get to him. “Let’s hope not, Torch.”
He couldn’t tell if the other hero heard him; in an instant the Torch was airborne. Peter watched the orange glow fade into the distance before he let out a sigh. These cosmic-level heroes really needed to stay out of his neighbourhood-level business.
What an asshole.
He turned to the creature still splayed on the floor. “What do we do now, Lizard?”
Peter snapped his eyes shut. ‘Destroyer of Worlds’ just wasn’t going to stick.