Chapter Text
< were all a bunch of friends here • 3 online
peeso: dont ever say that again bon
bonbonbon: IT'S A GOOD IDEA
peeso: u arent real
bonbonbon: ok when you are sad broke and alone in 5 years i will be living lavishly with my ceo boyfriend
THEN who will be laughing piso.
me. ill be laughing.
and im will: No ceo is going to date a journalist
That's like asking for a scandal
bonbonbon: ok then like a millionaire frat bro
idk im not picky
peeso: frat bro maybe
odds on anyone with real prospects dating u is slim to none
bonbonbon: what the heck :(
ant attack: no he's right
you spend too much time on roblox for that
only losers would date you
bonbonbon: you guys are so mean to me :(
im a catch
people would pay good money to go on a date with me
and u cannot be talking anthony you are the biggest loser here
ant attack: now you're getting it
i never said i wasnt a loser
sounds like you're just my type
wink
peeso: yikes does this make it 0-13
and im will: Get better at flirting dude
This is just sad
ant attack: okay i didnt need the peanut gallery
bonbonbon: LMFAO
its okay i thought it was cute
peeso: i like lying to people too
Anthony shook his head as he put his phone back in his pocket. His dad had been helping him load his last boxes into the moving truck. Moving into his college dorm was stressful, but he was comfortable in the knowledge he finally had a friend waiting for him.
Anthony was a lonely kid. He had a few friends in high school, sure, but he knew they wouldnt last for very long after senior year. The less said about middle school the better. People didn't really want to hang out with the kid who was way too into Pokémon. That was fine, he understood it. He got bullied enough that everyone was a little wary of him.
However, there were three people that stuck with him throughout all of it. Every bad haircut, every awkward crush, and every punch thrown at him. Bon, Will, and Piso were his best friends in the entire world. They had met on a Smosh fan discord server almost 5 years ago. Piso had made a stupid, unfunny joke at the expense of himself, which sparked the creation of a group chat and countless hours spent talking to each other.
It made Anthony feel stupid when he thought too hard about it, when it was far too late at night and the loneliness had carved a hole into his chest. His best friends were all miles away, unnamed and faceless. Except for Will, who he was currently moving in with.
It was pure luck that Will was going to the same college as him. His life story was perfect for personal statements, and his GPA was the highest of the group. It was no wonder he got a full ride to Rutgers for biochemistry, the only surprising part was that he even applied to begin with. He would make a good doctor, in the future.
In fact, the entire group was going to college this year. Bon was going to a school for journalism. They had never discussed the name of the colleges, but Anthony knew she got into her second choice school. Her SAT scores just falling flat, even when combined with her many extra circulars.
Bon was secretive, internet safety lessons her mom beat into her head working both too well and not enough. She, like Piso, never shared her real name, her face, or where she lived, only knowing she was somewhere in the New York area (Read: Semi-frequent trips to a cafe in Manhattan). It frustrated him, to know so much but so little at the same time. She was an open person, it wasn't like she tried to hide information from them. Anthony could recite the name of all her cats, the problems she had with her mother, and even her favourite and least restaurant by heart but he couldn't tell you her real name.
Piso was similarly private, never sharing his name or his face. His secrecy came from a long past of bullying, much like Anthony. However, Anthony did know Piso was a home-schooled religious gay kid from the mid-west who skipped too many grades—8th and 12th, to be exact—to bond with any peers, only to be ostracised further when he came out. He was moving closer to the east coast for college, trying to escape his families pressure and finally do what he wanted to do. Which, just so happened to be theater acting.
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wunny @wahony
Day 1 of living with my best oomf in the whole world I love my friends so much I'm so full of joy I love You.
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Bonnie! (๑>◡<๑) @cinnabonn
we love you more will!!!!!!!! (*´∇｀*)
wunny @wahony
Day 4 of living with my best oomf in the whole world I hate all my friends and I'm turning evil.
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Anthony is watching Smallville @anthpo
when do i get to be upgraded to best irl in the whole world
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wunny @wahony
When you do the dishes
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Anthony is watching Smallville @anthpo
oh okay so never
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piso? @piso4
what could anthony possibly of done
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wunny @wahony
Piso I miss you I wish he was you I hate him I hate him I hate him
Bonnie! (๑>◡<๑) @cinnabonn
classes start tmrw!! shoot me dead with a rifle 😊
piso? @piso4
what the hell r u supposed to wear to college i look gay
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Anthony is watching Smallville @anthpo
HORRIBLE news piso
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Bonnie! (๑>◡<๑) @cinnabonn
im wearing the pinkest outfit i own
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piso? @piso4
should i go all green
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Bonnie! (๑>◡<๑) @cinnabonn
YESYESYEYSYES omg we would be so cute matching through the screen 🩷
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wunny @wahony
Dude I don't think you have to worry about looking gay
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piso? @piso4
fuck both of you guys
wunny @wahony
Day 6 of living with oomf we start classes today and he has the loudest most obnoxious alarm he DOESNT wake up to. This was a mistake.
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Anthony is watching Smallville @anthpo
😞😞
-
Starting a new school is always stressful. College, even with its lax structure, is no exception. In fact, Anthony might be the most stressed he's ever been. He's been walking around the campus lost for 10 minutes. In theory, all of the lecture halls should be easy to find. Everything is labelled clearly, Anthony even got a pamphlet that includes a map. Theres bright yellow text that tells you exactly where to go, and how long it takes to get there. It even has a cute drawing of the school mascot, Sir Henry, pointing to it.
Sir Henry, however, is a traitor. He doesn't even try to stop Anthony from turning the complete wrong way. Clearly, he was too preoccupied by the nice adventurers map in his hands and forgot to inform Anthony that be has ended up in the Literature department. He is meant to be in Principals of Marketing.
Next to him, a girl wearing far too much pink steps out of a class. She is excitedly talking to the only other person in the hall, arms waving as she mimes something. Something that looks like directions. Oh thank god.
Anthony shoots an apologetic look at the chibi Sir Henry. He had, to the best of his abilities, brought Anthony exactly where he needed to be. Anthony just needs to put on his big-boy pants and talk to this girl.
Which. Wow. She might be the most beautiful woman Anthony has ever seen. Is he staring? He's totally staring. Pull yourself together Anthony, she's looking over. Oh God. I look like a creep. What am I doing? Has my brain always been this empty?
The woman smiles at him as the person she was giving directions to walks away. Fuck. Anthony tries to smile back but it comes out awkward and stilted.
"Hey. I saw you giving directions. I'm, like, totally lost. Do you know where Professor Walker's room is? It's room 2013, I think. Principals of Marketing." Anthony awkwardly laughs. Real smooth, Ant.
The girls face lights up. Wow, she has a contagious smile.
"Thats my next class too!" she beams, "I can walk with you there if you'd like?"
This woman was sent from the heavens. Or Sir Henry. Probably Sir Henry.
"I'd love that, actually." Anthony sighs a breath of relief.
"I'm Hannah, by the way."
"Oh, I'm Anthony."
"Hey, that's my best friend's name!" She giggles at herself. Anthony has only seen so much energy in one person before.
But if that isn't a reminder. Anthony suddenly feels a little guilty for his thoughts about Hannah. It's not exactly a secret, the massive, embarrassing crush he has on Bon. She seems unaware of it, taking his flirting as a joke. Really, theres no reason to feel bad about finding another girl attractive. It's not like Anthony knows what Bon looks like, or that he has half a chance with her.
But still, his stupid love-sick hind brain tells him he shouldn't find anyone else alluring because his heart belongs to Bon. It's stupid. Anthonys being stupid. It's not like he's gonna make out with Hannah just because he thought she's pretty.
"Are you a freshman?" Hannah asks him. They are walking through the school, presumably to room 2012. However, they are taking turns that, had he been alone, Anthony never would have dreamed of making. He thinks they walked through a staff-only door.
"Ha, yeah. I don't think I really paid attention during the tour. What year are you?" Anthony definitely did pay attention to the tour. It clearly didn't help.
"Oh, I'm also a freshman. I just got out of my first lecture. I'm a journalism major." Hannah does a little hand pump, like she's waving a flag. It's cute.
Huh, that's funny. Maybe I have a thing for journalists.
"How do you know where you're going so well if you're a freshman?"
"Oh, I snuck away from my orientation group with my friends to explore."
Okay, so shes also insane. That's nice. Anthony really knows how to pick them.
She suddenly stops. Anthony nearly trips over himself to stop with her.
"This should be the class!" She pushes open the door. Her eyes bounce around the classroom, clearly looking for someone she knows. Her eyes light up, finding what she was looking for, and she sticks her hand high in the air.
"Billy! I didn't know you were taking this class too!" she pauses, looking towards Anthony. "It was lovely to meet you! If you want, you can sit next to me. You would like Billy. Everyone likes Billy."
"Oh- I um, Sure."
They walk over to the man waving his arm back at Hannah. She slides into the seat next to him, immediately launching into a rant about her last lecture. He takes the seat next to her, a little dazed. Is everyone here this friendly, or is it just her?
He thinks about Hannah, about Bon, and about his future the rest of the lecture. He can just review the slides later.
-
ant attack: is everybody back from school
peeso: ughhhghfu yes
bonbonbon: yesss!! but also i think im going to a party later...
peeso: how the hell did u already get invited to a party
bonbonbon: because im a beautiful sociable woman
and invite myself to everything
tbh i overheard someone talking about it and im crashing it
and im will: This is why you're banned from party city btw.
bonbonbon: Hilary shouldnt of left the back door open if she didnt want people to blow up the balloons themselves.
ant attack: the way ur mind works is astounding
but will and i actually got invited to a party
and im will: *Will actually got invited
Anthony is my plus one
peeso: yeah i shosulve gueesed that
and im will: You should guess some better spelling next
peeso: TURN OFF AUTO CORRECT WILL
LETS SEE WHO SPELLS BETTER THEN
HUH MR "GEFENOROUAS"
and im will: Sorry sir 😞😞
I didn't mean it
Please forgive me
ant attack: stop distracting me
how was everyones first day
bonbonbon: GOOD!!! ^ - ^
i has a rlly cool writing class
and a marketing class that has a cute boy in it
and i made two new friends
and i think im gonna join an art club
maybe a sorority (O_o)
im falling for the greek life propaganda on tiktok
peeso: wait art club sounds fire maybe i should join my colleges club
ant attack: i was looking into the business frats at my school
lowk might join next year
and im will: I think I'm being recruited for a Real frat
Thats why i'm invited to the party
Do they know I'm a nerd
peeso: you could js tell them your bi
that will probably get them to stop
and im will: But no boyfriend... I'd look like a fraud..... Hmm.... I wonder who could fix that
bonbonbon: ur guys flirting might be worse then ants
ant attack: why am i catching strays what the hell
peeso: because u deserve it
anyways my day was pretty good
my roommate is nice
and british
its weird
but he introduced me to some of his friends
they seem cool
and my professors seem chill
ant attack: omfg we get it ur roommates british
peeso: IM SORRY ITS A BIG THING FOR ME IM LIVING WITH A BRITISJ PERSON
do u know how many people ive met from outside indiana before college
like. 4.
im having culture shock
bonbonbon: should i wear a dress or pants to the party
ant attack: pants
and im will: pants
but cute pants
bonbonbon: obviously
who do u think i am
and im will: speaking of i need to get anthony presentable for the party were going too
we both have 0 style
its bad
peeso: ur both gonna go to this party looking like bums
i feel left out
no one wants to invite the gay kid to a party 😒
ant attack: ur in the fucking theater program
have u talked to someone who isnt gay today??
peeso: kys