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“And then she said something like, ‘I have exhausted the utmost measure of patience one may extend in such circumstances, and I must therefore insist that you retire without delay, lest my temper betray me into unseemly candor.’” Wemmbu said, sitting in a chair in the town hall with Eggchan. His friend seemed exceptionally intent on staring at the floor beneath which the vault was supposed to lie. He didn’t even bother to remind him that they couldn’t see inside. He knew better, and apparently, the purple demon’s opinion was less important than the angel’s bruised ego.
“Bro, I think she just told you to shut your ass up, but in a more elegant way.” He expressed his opinion bluntly, flapping his wings in a soothing manner. White feathers fell, gently swaying in the air until they touched the terracotta.
“No, she didn’t…oh…yeah, she probably did.” He tried to defend his employer for a paltry second, but quickly dropped the subject. Well, he really didn't understand a single word that was said there. The fact that he remembered it all was a miracle! But that was mainly due to his good memory, not because it was something particularly important to remember. The demon was an auditory learner—he could quote someone's words one by one…but even if he read one thing a million times, he still probably wouldn't remember it. That's why he forced Egg to read him all the most important letters. But he still remembered very little of them. They were so boring!
“Are you sure she even likes you? All you talk about is how she tells you to kill yourself, shut up, and how she's gonna kill you. Doesn't sound like the most…affectionate manor bro. What if she's like an evil empress siren who brainwashes people?”
“Bro what”
“Sorry I watched Equestria girls with my girl and I noticed a pattern.” He shrugged, dismissing that particular topic, as Wemmbu clearly wasn't going to understand what he was trying to suggest. Call him biased, but Egg doesn't like this Zam woman and her empire! Not after the blatant disrespect he received.
"But maybe we should do something just in case she really brainwashes someone?"
"Dalright, and what is that?"
"Maybe a handshake."
He suggested, and they both nodded, as if it were an impenetrable defense system. It couldn't be that complicated, and even if Wemmbu didn't believe in all that evil siren propaganda, having something to tell a companion's condition seemed useful—if they didn't do a handshake, something was wrong. You know how in all those dramatic movies where the kidnapped person talks nonsense during a phone call so that others realize something's wrong.
…
As it turns out, it wasn't that simple.
Not for Wemmbu, at least.
They'd been sitting there for over thirty minutes, trying to force his hands to obey and coordinate them enough to perform even that much of a complex movements.
"Your inability to learn complicated handshakes is tearing the gang apart, Wemmbu."
"Whatever, bro, it's not like we will ever—" He stopped mid-sentence. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as his purple irises narrowed, practically filling the whites of his eyes with black. "There's an invis player," he said to his friend by way of explanation, grabbing his sword and heading toward where he thought he saw the burglar.
“Hey, invisible, not suspicious at all, buddy... are you going to show yourself? This is private property, you know?”
“Since when is this private property? We don't even own this place.”
“Egg shut your bitch ass up”
“Okay, okay.” Seraph raised his hand in defeat, looking curiously at his invisible friend… or colleague.
“Please let me hide” was the only thing they heard. Wemmbu recognized it as Parrot's voice, so he tilted his head curiously. Then he shrugged, pointing to the villagers' house, deciding he could ask questions later.
He did so just in time, because a minute later, on the not-so-flat ground of their empire, Clownpierce would rise in all of his glory. Nature seemed to be feeling just as uneasy as the inhabitants, as a stronger, unpleasant wind had sprung up.
The purple demon grimaced, unsure if it was in his mind or outwardly. He pulled Seraph closer to him to meet the murderous clown.
Clownpierce clearly didn't waste another moment, pacing their property in a manner more searching than curious. Wemmbu rubbed his face; it was going to be a long day. He plastered on a fake smile, the kind he used when he desperately wanted the other person to consider their purpose in existing on this planet for a prolonged period.
"Welcome to our humble estate...may I ask why you're hanging around my house? Hey! Don't touch that—" he hurried to...what exactly, stop him from knocking over a vase? Sure, he's a real altruist, maybe he should shut up before something happens to him. His voice carried to the ears of the less-than-cultured guest.
The demon stopped and walked towards them.
“Wemmbu...oh hey Eggchan. Haven't you seen the invisible player?”
“Not necessarily, can you leave now?” The demon replied irritably. His tail lashed the air, only confirming that the irritation he felt was real. Acting like nothing happened.. after everything was impossible. And Wemmbu knew how his behaviour didn't necessarily scream trustworthy. But he wasn't obligated to act like some underpaid intern.
“It's terribly rude to chase someone away the second someone arrives, Wemmbu”
The assassin's tone had a touch of that earthy amusement that appeared whenever Wemmbu did something that wasn't good enough or naive in his...father's eyes. But he'd long since outgrown being a pushover and certainly wasn't about to take lessons in manners from a guy who regularly killed people for a living—not exactly civilized behavior for his tastes.
“Yeah, yeah, can't you go already? I'm sure Branzy is longing for you, his heart is breaking blah blah blah, or at least go to Ash if you need some manners.” He raised an eyebrow, challengingly. Clown probably knew the invisible vagrant was still hanging around, so any word would have reached his ears. And dropping the names of people who could potentially be important to him was a threat. A threat he recognized but wasn't about to comment on, not in an obvious way.
“I appreciate the concern, but since you're sure he's not here, why don't you let me look around, hmm?”
“What? Old man wants a tour?” Wemmbu hissed as Eggchan punched him in the shoulder, looking at him in confusion as he gave him a terrified look that said, “Do you want us all to die?”
“Okay, whatever, I'll show you around…”
Yeah show trained assassin your home, and see where it gets you.
No offence to himself or whatever, but genuinely, what the hell is he doing?
But he already proposed, and he is no coward. He may be stupid but he isn't a coward…something like that.
He started walking without looking back. He pointed to the obsidian wall, heading towards the main hall.
"As you can see, there's an inner wall, like in the AOT you know it? Yeah probably not. This is the town hall, we meet our residents here...you really don't have to dig up the floor, okay, thanks for not listening to me, the attic is empty...of course you have to check it out. Didn't you find anything? Exactly, because there's nothing here. Moving on...this is my house, I know, beautiful."
"I can see you were the one building it."
"Thanks - hey-"
He sighed in resignation. Of course, he had to criticize that. It wasn't even that bad! It's just that if something's next to anything Horace built, it's bound to look like a mud hut. Wemmbu could overthink this comment as another example of a clown never being happy with what his son is doing - never strong enough, never creative enough…never enough for a child of two geniuses in two fields. But well. He was kinda right on this one. Wemmbu was not a builder in an aesthetic manner. Building orbital strike cannon and a pretty house were two completely different things.
"Anyway, here's my bed...don't go in there, it's a warehouse...okay, whatever, just don't take anything..."
"Very...enthusiastic tour, but I can't help but mention that you didn't show me one place."
The large scythe tilted menacingly in the assassin's hands. He probably wouldn't try to kill Wemmbu...but he didn't want to find out. Why risk it for Parrot?
"It's just a villager's house, nothing special...but if you insist." He tried to hide his nerves, which were starting to fray with uncertainty. He took hesitant steps toward the wooden structure, and when they finally reached it, he turned to his father, who, despite his face being missing because it was hidden behind a mask...looked strange. Strange in a way Wemmbu recognized. And he didn't like it.
"You aren't gonna...of course you are, whatever dude" he said looking as his hard work disappeared in fast swings of the scythe. Wemmbu can't even complain, because it's not like it's the first time something like this has happened. He wouldn't necessarily say Clown was a bad father, but that doesn't mean he was the best one. Sure he was nice and loving sometimes, yet still after all, he wanted power. He wanted people to be afraid of him - even his god damn lover Branzy was sometimes afraid of him. That's his thing. Just showing that he can do things that annoy you, and will do it just because.
"Are you done murdering my villagers?"
"Just tell me where is he"
"Who the hell is he and why would I know where he is" Wemmbu deadpanned, frustrated. Very close to shouting out words that he shouldn't say when someone is standing nearby who has... definitely different opportunities to use his own words that he might say in anger. Clown clearly saw it too, of course he did. He knew how much Wemmbu didn't want to see him and was only testing the limits. He was wasting his time here just to irritate him. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he held back.
For a moment, he held out his hand, but instead of giving it to his son, he placed the fireworks from his inventory on it and flew off without a farewell.
He has a lot of words.
And a lot of threats.
But first things first – Parrot.
He knew exactly where to find him. He went down to the basement where he kept Zam's supplies, his wings flapping in anger, but he tried to control himself.
As it would soon turn out, no one had a single brain in their empty heads, and of course, they had to irritate him even more!
"So..who is Ash and how is he connected to you clown and branzy? In fact, how are you connected to them" Parrot asked, narrowing his eyebrows, visibly uncomfortable with the whole situation. Maybe he would feel sorry for him - being on the run is nothing nice to be, but now? Wemmbu couldn't care less about him being uncomfortable. He's grown ass man, he can deal with that not everyone will answer his questions
"Okay so yeah no problem for risking my life for you, no need to thank. I don't think you're in position to demand things you know. Maybe you start. Why the hell clownpierce was looking after you in the first place?" Demon shook his head, getting his hair out of the way. Being purple Rapunzel could be a little annoying when it's elevators. He can't see shit and every move just makes it worse.
"Uh...yeah..Zam hired him to...kill me"
"Oh"
They both stared at each other. Wemmbu finally moved, looking at him with even more awkwardness.
"You know I'm with Zam. Like Zam's my boy and all."
"You are with Zam! ? Yeah, I'm outta here bro." The bird coughed in surprise, grabbing the ladder, intending to escape. However, he couldn't, as the demon dragged him down.
"My fucking god let me finish. I work with Zam...but not Clown. And since no one told me that the empire clearly wants you dead, I see no reason to try to kill you now. But just to be clear, I'm not going to defend you from Clown Fucking Pierce ever again."
…
“Alright...then I'll just...you know go”
“Yeah, get the fuck out now”
He sighed, defended and definitely not in the state to even try to figure out what even happened and what he did.