Chapter Text
“Riyo, I’m telling ya.”
The pair was sitting outside their local gas station, just coming back from their first day of junior year. Zanka was on a rant about some annoying kid in his AP Chem, and while doing so, he seemed to have gotten a little… quieter?
“This guy, he’s so…”
Ugh. That was the word that perfectly described him. It didn’t seem like Zanka’s face felt the same though, with it flushing red and all. Riyo just looked at him with a cocked brow before going back to eat some hot fries.
“Well, y’know…”
Man, why couldn’t he think of what to say? It was like he was completely incapable of finishing the sentence… Oh, but it seems like Riyo can do it for him!
“Well, y’know…” She said with a mocking tone. “It seems like you have a crush on him.”
WHAT. THE. FUCK!
Zanka’s jaw dropped, like, on the floor type dropped. Did he hear that right? She thinks that Zanka, of all people, has a crush on the human equivalent of a devil, Jabber Wonger? After he just had his whole monologue about how much he pisses him off?
Looks like she did, because she continued.
“What? Is that really so unbelievable to you? I mean, the whole time you’ve been talking about him, your face has been beet red. I guess it could be from anger though…” She snickered. It’s pretty obvious that she doesn’t believe that last part.
So what if his face was red? That doesn’t mean he likes him! It’s just a little hot out! Even though Jabber was, objectively speaking, attractive, that doesn’t mean he’s got a crush. No way. He’ll make sure Riyo understands. “Ya, it is pretty unbelievable! There’s no way in hell I’d ever like im’! Did’ja not hear me when I said he tried ta’ tickle the back of my neck?” Zanka retorted. She’s gotta be crazy if she actually thinks he likes him! Matter of fact, Jabber’s crazy too! Who knows where he’ll try to tickle next? His armpit? His side? His ankles? The thought alone scares Zanka. Well, not really. Just a little bit.
Riyo eats a fry and then answers his question. “Well, I don’t know. Maybe you’re into that shit.” Zanka opens his mouth so counter, but not before Riyo finishes her statement. “Also, there’s no need for you to get so defensive. I was just messing with you.”
Just messing with me? Zanka thought. It didn’t really make sense, with her being so adamant about him “liking” Jabber. “Ugh, whatever.” He said, face looking pretty flushed for someone who claims not to like said “human equivalent of the devil.” “We got what ya wanted, can we go home now?”
“Yeah, sure, but you know I won’t stop teasing you about this, right?” Riyo said, and her honesty was, unfortunately, apparent.
He sighed. “But I don’t even like im’…” Zanka mumbled, and they began their trek home.
-
When the pair got home, Riyo suddenly had the lovely idea to yell out a very, very untrue phrase for the whole house to hear.
“ZANKA LIKES JAB—” Zanka quickly moved to slap his hand over Riyo’s mouth. He didn’t want her to spread any disinformation, after all.
“DUDE, SHUT TH’ HELL UP!” He whisper-shouted.
…
Nothing happened. The whole house was quiet, which was quite weird, especially since Riyo had made such a ruckus. Zanka had at least thought that Rudo would have come down to see what’s happening.
“Huh.” Said Riyo. “Where’s Rudo? I would’ve thought he’d be home by now.”
I would’ve thought so too. Zanka thought. “I dunno, but I also don’t really care. I bet he's dumpster diving in tha’ middle of buttfuck nowhere.” He wasn’t lying. Rudo seemed to have made it a hobby to go out and search for trash that could be fixed. He said it was a waste to throw it out, but if we’re being serious, it’s trash. Isn’t it literal waste?
“Yeah,” Riyo agreed. “That makes sense.”
-
Rudo was ripping through this dumpster, trying to find anything that could be fixed. In reality, he had found many things, but he couldn’t take too much home and stink up the house again. He was looking for something perfect, something wrecked enough that he could enjoy fixing it to its fullest, but not enough that it couldn’t be saved. He was about to go and leave since he hadn’t found anything worthwhile when he saw it. The most beautiful necklace he’d ever seen, silver gleaming through the trash next to it. Rudo grabbed it as fast as he could, acting like someone was gonna try to take it from him. No one was.
“Hell yeah!” He whispered to himself. Thoughts were swimming through his head, about how to go about cleaning this. What should he do first? Polish it, or do a deep clean? Rudo was ecstatic. He wondered what it would look like on. It was a pretty dainty necklace, not something he would wear (he doesn’t even wear necklaces in the first place) but maybe Riyo would like it. Even Zanka could sport it, but Rudo didn’t think he’d wear any other jewelry besides his beloved tassels.
Whatever. Rudo thought. He’ll find out what to do with the necklace when he gets home. Speaking of getting home, he should really do that. After all, it was getting a little late to be dumpster diving, and he wanted to get home in time for dinner. Enjin said he’s getting Chinese takeout.
So, Rudo started walking out of the random ass alleyway he was in and into the bustling street. That’s a lie. The street wasn’t actually bustling. He lived in Arizona, not New York!
While heading home, he accidentally bumped into a random chick. Hold on. That’s not a random chick. That’s Amo Empool, the prettiest girl in his English class! And he just called a random chick in his mind! And she’s… crinkling her nose at him? What does she think, he stinks?
Oh shit. He does stink. Horribly. He probably smells like a horse's asshole right now and Amo Empool is staring at him, now plugging her nose like Rudo smells like a horse's asshole!
“Um, sorry…” She says.
Fuck, she’s not even gonna wanna talk to me after this. What’ll I do? Should I avoid her at school? Can’t really do that, we sit next to each other in English. Maybe I’ll ask the teacher to switch my seat. But then we’d still be in the same class. I could fake being sick for the rest of the year. Oh, even better, I can just transfer schools. I’ll never have to see her again!
Amo interrupts his thoughts. “You’re… Rudo, right? Amo thinks you smell a little… funky. What were you doing to smell like that?”
Hmm… guess I should just tell her. He thinks. It’s not like he has anything to lose after this interaction, and are there even any good excuses as to why he smells so “funky” as she says? So he answers her question. “Well, I was dumpster diving. I like to look for trash that I can fix up and make pretty again. I know it’s kinda weird, but trust me, it’s awesome. I actually just found this necklace when I was out.” He holds up the necklace for her to see, which doesn’t even make sense, why would she want to see some stinky old necklace?
Her eyes widen at the necklace for some weird reason, maybe the stench got to her or something? Or maybe she’s just so surprised by how ugly it looks right now. “Oh, Amo doesn’t think it’s weird! It sounds kind of interesting actually, and that necklace looks pretty… Amo is sure it will look even prettier when you're done!”
What.
Did she really just say that Rudo’s not weird for digging through trash and repairing said trash? That the necklace is pretty? And is that a smile on her face?
Rudo tries not to smile back because, firstly, his smile is creepy as fuck, and also, he doesn’t want to ruin his chances that he thought were already ruined with her! Instead, he internally decides that once he’s finished with this necklace, he’ll give it to Amo. And at the same time, profess his love! Well, maybe not that part. Let’s just start with the necklace, okay?
“Uh, thanks” he utters. “See you around, I gotta get home.”
“Okay!” Amo says. “Amo will see you around too!”
Rudo then ran as fast as he could to get home and start working on this necklace. He didn’t even care about the takeout anymore!
-
“So, seven corn dogs and… seven… cokes. Will that be all?”
Enjin had been talking to this cashier for 15. Fucking. Minutes. He’s probably said his order over a hundred times, but this guy seems to find it funny to torture his customers. Does Enjin look like he’s laughing? No. He looks like a tired man pushing thirty trying to feed three children who are probably waiting for him at home. How sad! Dreadlocks looks the exact opposite though, a kid who’s trying his hardest not to laugh as Enjin repeats his order again.
“For the nth time, this is a Chinese restaurant! You guys don’t even sell corn dogs! And I asked for three orange chickens and chicken lo mein!”
“My bad, my bad. Did you say you wanted tofu, or…”
“Did you not hear me the first ten times?” Before Enjin could finish reciting his order again though, a pissed looking blue haired lady working in the kitchen (who was really, really short) started yelling at Dreadlocks.
“Jabber! I told you you can’t work the register anymore if you're gonna act like a little shit and annoy the customers!”
Dreadlocks—sorry, Jabber, yelled back.
“Damn Cthoni, you don’t gotta rat me out in front of the customer! We’re prolly gonna get a bad review cus of you!”
“Why would I be the reason for the bad review when you’re messing up the guy's order just to piss him off! Get back to work!” Blue-haired girl barked.
Jabber rolled his eyes and surprisingly got back to work. “Four orange chickens and a chicken lo mein. Is that all?” He said in a monotone voice, aforementioned grin wiped off, like a kid who got their toy taken away.
“I said three orange chickens! Not four.” Enjin said, still pissed. Is he really doing this again? After he just got scolded? He thought.
Jabber looked a little stunned by his own mistake, quickly apologizing. “Oops. I didn’t mean it that time.” He was being honest. “That’ll be $23.96. Plus tax.”
Damn! When did everything get so expensive?
“Thanks.” Enjin said, swiping his card. After he got his food, he left that place as fast as he could. Not because of the workers… he was just hungry!
-
Riyo, Zanka, and Enjin sat at the dining table, watching as the food slowly got colder and colder while they waited for Rudo.
“Can we just eat without him?” Riyo says pleadingly.
“Let’s wait fifteen minutes, and if he’s not home by then, then we’ll eat without him.” Enjin states.
Zanka groans. “The food’ll be cold in fifteen minutes. Let’s just eat now.”
Enjin makes a face, like he’s thinking very hard. “Ok… fine. But just this once. And we don’t tell this to Rudo.” Wow, does it only take Zanka asking once to make him fold? Crazy.
The three unwrap their food, and a divine smell erupts from the packaging. “This shit smells bomb!” Riyo exclaims, smile taking up half her face. “Yeah.” Enjin agrees. “It was definitely worth dealing with that cashier. Did I tell you he messed up my order 13 times? And he only got the right one when he got told off?”
No one seemed to care about Enjin’s woes, because the two adolescents were already knee deep into their orange chicken. However, just as Enjin was about to take a bite of his own food, Rudo decided to step through the front door, smelling like a horse's asshole. Immediately, Zanka gags, working quickly to cover his nose, making sure not to smell any more of that… repulsiveness.
Enjin shrieks. “Dude! You smell like shit!”
“Yeah, what were ya doin’ ta’ gain an odor so awful! I feel like I’m gonna barf just by bein’ around ya!” Zanka shouted.
Ignoring Zanka’s extra comments, Rudo answers his question. “Well… I uh, went searching for trash.” He said it with a cherry red face, not even thinking about the stink that he brought into the room. Everyone has lost their appetites by now.
“Do you mean… dumpster diving?” Riyo asks curiously.
Rudo replies. “I mean, that’s one way to put it.”
Riyo and Zanka snap their heads to look at each other, earning a crack from each of their necks. “You were right!” Riyo said enthusiastically. “I know!” Zanka acknowledges. For an average joe, I made a pretty good guess, he deems in his head.
Rudo looks a little surprised. “How’d you guys know…?” He says.
“I mean…” Riyo starts. “You’ve got a weird fixation with that shit. And you’ve done it before.”
“Oh yeah! I have!” Rudo said. “Can we eat now? The food smells pretty good.”
Zanka sighed. “I’m surprised ya can smell it over all that stink comin’ from ya. But I guess ya can only expect that from a fatass. Yer never gonna get a girlfriend if yer built like a sphere, y’know that?” He said teasingly.
“What the hell did you just say to me?! I’m not a fatass! Shut up, turd face!” Rudo’s face was way too red for a stupid argument.
Why’s he so red? Is he really that mad over some comment? But now that I think about it, he’s been red since he got home. Weird.
Enjin breaks up their argument. “Rudo, go take a shower! Seriously, you reek! Are you trying to kill us with your odor?! And Zanka, stop calling Rudo a fatass! Even if it’s true, it’s mean!”
Rudo screams from shock. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN EVEN IF IT’S TRUE—”
“Go! You can eat the smelly food when you’re done, just move it!”
Rudo huffs dramatically, leaving to take his shower.
Unfortunately, his stench didn’t leave the room with him. It never did.
“Hey… did you guys see that necklace Rudo was clutching?” Riyo inquires.
Enjin was the first to answer. “Huh? No, I guess I didn’t see it.”
Zanka was next. “No. I couldn’t really focus on what he was holding, with his smell n’ all. It’s probably somethin’ he brought back from the dumpster ta’ fix.”
“Guess I’m just more observant than you.” Riyo spouts. She leaves Zanka and Enjin to go to her room.
Zanka does the same, going to he and Rudo’s shared room. “See ya.” He says to Enjin.
Oh my god, Zanka thinks, this day’s been awful.
I mean, he is right. He didn’t even get to finish his food, only having gotten a few bites. To add that on to the accusations from Riyo (and the neck tickling from you know who), his day has been awful.
Zanka had a little trouble sleeping that night. Rest assured, it wasn’t because of Jabber. Or maybe it was. Either way, you’ll never know. That kinda sucks, huh?