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Marriage was supposed to be a beautiful, sacred thing. Shu had once dreamed of falling in love, marrying the man of his dreams and starting a family. But those dreams were shattered when his family fell into ruin, and their business was declared bankrupt. Gone were the dreams of a lavish wedding. Instead, Shu constantly worried about whether he and his brother would get to eat proper meals the next week, never mind thinking about love.
So Shu studied hard, hoping that if he graduated with honours and got a good job, he would be able to earn enough money to clear his family's debts and support them. Mysta had been worried when Shu pushed himself, fearing that he was overworking himself, but Shu had ignored his brother. He was the older brother, it was his responsibility to care for his family when they were in crisis.
When he was in his third year of university, and Mysta was in his first, Luca Kaneshiro transferred to their school. Everyone knew the Kaneshiros. They were rich, the richest in the city. Every teenager dreamed of befriending their children, Luca and Lucy, and even more dreamed of marrying into the Kaneshiros, to even get a sliver of their wealth meant never having to worry about money ever again.
Shu hadn't really cared. If there was something he hated more than poverty, it was having to rely on someone else to drag him out of it. Sure, money would be nice, and Luca Kaneshiro was rather easy on the eyes (read: he was hot as hell), but the idea of having faith in love, in putting the fate and financial state of himself and even his family in the hands of another terrified him. The Shu that had dreamed of true love and marrying his soulmate had long since been buried.
Yet Luca didn't seem to get that memo. Every chance the blonde got, he would approach Shu, talking about his day, probing Shu for information about his. Shu didn't push Luca away, he wasn't rude, but he never let the other in either. It made Shu feel confused. Why did Luca even bother with him? Why go after the one person who didn't care? Mysta didn't see it that way, though. He adored Luca, he always had fun bantering with Luca and having the strangest debates. Seeing his little brother be so happy, Shu didn't mind letting Luca hang around.
Things started getting worse when Shu noticed the signs. He had once been a dreamer, he used to read romance novels all the time, waiting for the day his time would come and he would be swept off his feet. Shu was not oblivious to the fact that slowly, and surely, he had started to fall in love with Luca Kaneshiro. Okay, that's no matter. He was fine having feelings for someone he had started to consider a good friend. Having a crush didn't mean acting on it. He was fine!
He would have been content letting those feelings fester in his heart until they rotted away as he supposed they would without reciprocation, which he suspected would happen to him. See, Luca always hung out with Shu, yes, but Mysta was always with them. And Shu could see how brightly Luca shone whenever he talked to Mysta, how he seemed protective of Mysta, and how much he cared for Mysta. Something told Shu that Luca had feelings for one of the brothers, and it wasn't Shu. Though, Shu was quite certain that Mysta only viewed Luca as a friend.
No problem, he was in love with a guy who was in love with his brother. Not to worry at all, not at all.
~
"A what now?" Shu stared at his father in part shock, part horror. "An arranged marriage?!"
Shu's father sighed heavily, clearly having struggled with this decision as well. "Trust me, Shu, we wished it didn't have to come to this. I know you've always dreamed of getting married to the one you love, but you have to understand! The Kaneshiros have offered us a large sum for the hand in marriage of one of our sons, and as the eldest, well, that role falls to you."
"The Kaneshiros?! Like Luca? Or is it Lucy?" Mysta gasped from next to Shu, head whipping around to stare at Shu. Shu met his brother's gaze, and felt his heart break even more. "Luca," his father confirmed, and Shu sucked in a breath. He was to get married to Luca Kaneshiro, the man he had been in love with for the better part of the year, the man who he knew wasn't in love with him.
After their father left, Mysta pulled Shu into a hug, sensing trouble. "It's okay, Luca's not a bad guy, we know this," Mysta soothed as Shu began to quietly sob. "It's not that. i know Luca's great, it's just… he doesn't love me. I can't live with a marriage where he doesn't love me," Shu whispered, burying his face into Mysta's shoulder.
"You don't know that for sure. He's always so happy with you, and he's always so excited to talk to you, maybe he really does love you," Mysta suggested, patting him reassuringly. Shu knew, logically, that this was the best outcome. The debt their family had been in had grown worse over the years, to the point where even if Shu succeeded now, he would still be unable to financially recover. Luca's family was giving them an out for whatever reason, and he would be a fool to not take it. Yet his heart wanted to reject it, knowing he would just live in heartbreak for the rest of his life.
"When did Dad say the wedding was, again?" Shu asked. At some point, during his father's speech about family and sacrifice, Shu had tuned him out and missed some important details. "Next week. It'll be a small ceremony, then you'll sign the papers and they'll transfer the money and help us out," Mysta whispers weakly. Shu went pale. A week. That's all he had to compose himself. That's all he had until he was bound to a man who did not love him the way Shu loved him.
Shu closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. He was the older brother. He could do this.
He had to.
~
The wedding was small, simply in the backyard of the Kaneshiro family estate. There were no guests, save for the immediate family of the soon to be newlyweds, and there was no exchanging of vows. They simply acknowledged the union and signed the papers. Then it was done. There was no grand ceremony like Shu had once longed for, no extravagent reception. Not even his own friends could be there, even though he had a few he would have liked to see him married.
"Shu?" Luca asked gently, tugging his arm. Shu looked up at his now husband, and forced a weak smile on his face. "Yeah?"
"Uhm… My parents said you could stay here from now on, since we're… married now. You'll stay in my room with me," Luca said hesitantly, looking every bit as reluctant as Shu thought he would be. "Okay," Shu replied simply, glancing back at his own family. His father had already gone to get the car, and his mother stood silently next to Mysta, who glanced at him nervously, giving him a small wave before they left too. Shu was truly alone now.
Luca led him to his room, which was larger than Shu and Mysta's rooms combined. "Listen, Shu. About this marriage—"
"Don't," Shu cut Luca off. He didn't want to hear Luca reject him, or tell him that it was purely business. He knew in his heart that it was true, but he didn't want to think of it. "Don't say anything. Just… Just pretend we're roommates." He turned away from Luca.
They slipped into their bed, with Shu facing away from Luca and trying his best to keep to his side as far as possible. He tried not to think about how close he was to Luca, how if he just turned his head slightly he would be able to see Luca's adorable face as he snored. The more he thought about Luca, the heavier his heart felt. Shu Yamino had always been unlucky, this was just the peak of it.
~
It had been a year since their marriage. Shu's family's business had begun booming again, thanks to the help of the Kaneshiros. Shu had begun to feel more at home at the Kaneshiro estate, and the staff were all welcoming to him, treating him as part of the family. Even with all of this, a heavy cloud still hung over his head. His heart still yearned for the warmth of Luca Kaneshiro.
Shu had begun to make peace with the fact that this was his life now. For the sake of his family, he would endure the heart ache. Yet nightmares had started to plague him. They would start so sweet, with Luca calling Shu his wife, with Luca being so loving and kind, and the moment Shu let his guard down in the dream, Luca would turn hostile and tell him that it wasn't Shu Luca had wanted to marry, and he would torment Shu for the rest of his days.
Shu had managed to hide these nightmares for a good long while, but the recent one… he couldn't.
"Why is it you? Why did I have to marry you?" Luca spat, glaring at Shu venomously. "I didn't ask for this!" Shu argued back, letting tears fall. "Why are you blaming me?!"
But Luca stopped looking, in fact, Luca turned and left, leaving Shu a sobbing mess on the ground, weeping. "Luca! Come back! Please!"
"Luca… Please… Don't leave…" Shu muttered in his sleep, tears dripping onto his pillow. Suddenly, he was enveloped by a warm body, and his sobs slowly faded. His eyes fluttered open, and he realised with a start that it was Luca that was wrapped around him. Luca leaned in close, closer than they had ever been, and gently brushed Shu's hair away from his face, "I'm not leaving, Shu, don't worry," Luca murmured gently.
Shu didn't respond, Luca was just being nice. Despite everything, they had been friends first. So it made sense that Luca would comfort him, it didn't mean anything. It couldn't. Because it would mean that Shu had screwed over his chances with Luca, and potentially his current relationship too.
He shut his eyes again, and willed himself to not think about the pair of strong arms wrapped around him.
For the first time in months, Shu had a dreamless sleep.
~
"Shu, can we talk about… last night?" The next morning, Luca didn't let Shu leave. Instead, when Shu had tried to wriggle out of Luca's arms, Luca had pulled Shu closer and forced Shu to look at him in the eyes. "Leave it, Luca, it was… it was just a dream," Shu looked down.
"No, it wasn't," Luca said firmly, "You've been having them for a while now." Shu's head snapped back to Luca. "I'm not blind, Shu. But this is the worst one yet. You… Talk to me, Shu. Don't you trust me?" Luca was almost pleading with Shu now, the same slight whine in his voice that used to make Shu's stomach fill with butterflies. It still did.
But Shu remained silent. This was his feelings. He didn't want to have to reveal them and impose them on Luca and make Luca feel bad. Like he had said a year ago, he knew Luca was a good guy, which was precisely why he couldn't hurt him. He couldn't burden Luca with his emotions.
"Shu," Luca said again, more softly this time, tenderly like he was talking to someone precious to him. Shu looked back again and realised that Luca was way closer to him now, even more than he had been last night. Shu gulped, feeling his face turn red at the closeness. Too close. Luca was too close.
Before Shu could say anything, Luca leaned in and pressed a kiss against Shu's lips. Shu gasped in surprise, this was his first kiss. He had always hoped it would be Luca to take his first kiss, but not like this. When Luca pulls away, Shu finally looks at Luca properly for the first time in months. Luca looked at him like he was the only thing that mattered in the world. "What?" Shu breathed, confused.
"You thought I would leave you?" Luca whispers, "Did you think I was forced into this marriage, Shu?" Luca pulled away and let Shu sit up and face him properly.
"Shu," Luca says calmly, though Shu can see how his hands shook slightly, "I love you. I've been in love with you since the day I met you." Luca takes Shu's hands in his, smiling gently at him and Shu feels himself fall in love all over again.
"But… I thought you liked Mysta. You were always so bubbly around him—"
"Mysta's my friend. But you were always the one I was excited to see," Luca leans in and pressed their foreheads together, their fingers intertwined. "I love you so much, Shu. When I told my parents, they proposed the marriage contract to help your family out, because I saw how much you were struggling. When you started pulling away, I thought I rushed you too much, I thought that you didn't like me back…"
Shu presses a kiss against Luca's cheek, then on Luca's lips, "I've also been in love with you since we met. Well, more like it took some time, but… I love you, Luca, I'm sorry I was so stupid to not notice…!"
Luca practically tackles Shu in a hug, pulling him into yet another kiss, a deeper one this time. One that spoke not just of reassurance, but of an all-consuming love that Shu had never noticed, or rather, one that he never thought was directed at him.
"I love you," Luca kisses him again, "I love you," and again, "I love you, " and again. And when Luca presses him against the bed and takes him apart, Shu lets himself melt in his husband's arms.
That's right, he thinks.
Luca Kaneshiro is his husband.
And he wouldn't have it any other way.