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He doesn’t know why he does that, why he does any of it. Still, Theo finds himself yet again sitting in his truck, letting it idle in the street and wasting fuel to keep the truck warm. All because it is a bit chilly outside as August gives way to September and Liam is going to run out of practice all sweaty. He’s going to catch a cold.
Even though Theo knows perfectly well Liam can’t really catch a cold.
And it’s not really that cold outside.
Not when it was close to ninety degrees during the day.
Sighing, and bored out of his mind, he starts messing with the radio dial, looking for music. Liam always scolds him over the news reports he is listening to, but he doesn’t know that Theo is still struggling to find his footing and getting rid of old habits is hard. Not to mention he has no idea what he likes.
Well, that’s not completely true. While he is okay with some of the newer music Liam, or better yet, Mason, likes, he would rather listen to some older things, things he remembers from when he was a kid. The songs he remembers his mom liked.
Shaking his head, he doesn’t let himself follow that train of thought, because it never leads to anywhere good. Instead he focuses on the radio and stops when he hears a combination of drum and cymbal morphing into a familiar rhythm. It sounds old, like monochrome TVs kind of old. He wants to say it is Jazz, but he knows it’s not.
Theo lets his eyes slip closed as he listens to the beat for almost half a minute before any actual words start. They are a little muffled, the music overpowering the lyrics, but he can still make out what the singer is saying.
“Whenever I'm with him
Something inside
Starts to burning
And I'm filled with desire
Could it be a devil in me
Or is this the way love's supposed to be?”
Theo huffs a laugh. Of course the first song he finds interesting would remind him of Liam. It is a little childish, and a little stupid - “filled with desire”. Theo doesn’t get filled with desire. Pfff. And love? Come on. He’s not a cynic, but love? That’s not a word that would ever go with Theo Raeken.
“It's like a heat wave
Burning in my heart (It's like a heat wave)
I can't keep from crying (It's like a heat wave)
It's tearing me apart”
Crying? Yeah, not happening. But that line about the burning in his heart… It hits a little. Because it does burn sometimes. Like it knows he stole it.
“Whenever he calls my name
Soft, low, sweet, and plain
Right then, right there, I feel that burning flame
Has high blood pressure got a hold on me
Or is this the way love's supposed to be?”
It does seem to burn a bit more when Liam is around, when he talks to Theo, especially when they have those little moments… Moments Theo is pretty sure are nothing but a figment of his imagination. Because, yeah, that would make a helluva lot more sense than Liam actually being into him.
“It's like a heat wave
Burning in my heart (It's like a heat wave)
I can't keep from crying (It's like a heat wave)
It's tearing me apart
Ooh, heat wave
Ooh, heat wave”
What would a guy like Liam even see in a failure like Theo? Aside from a punching bag and someone to play the bait? He’s got no qualities, no… Despite learning how to blend in and be a ‘normal’ teenager, Theo doesn’t really know how to act in front of people he doesn’t want to put an act for. He is socially awkward, doesn’t get a lot of references that aren’t about historical events or figures.
He just doesn’t fit.
“Sometimes I stare in space
Tears all over my face
I can't explain it, don't understand it
I ain't never felt like this before
Now that funny feeling has me amazed
Don't know what to do, my head's in a haze”
Theo huffs an unamused laugh. He is doing that right now, staring into space. He might not be crying, but then again, he’s not sure he would know how, if he really wanted to.
The thing he pointedly does not think about is the second part of this verse. He never felt like this before indeed.
“It's like a heat wave
Burning in my heart (It's like a heat wave)
I can't keep from crying (It's like a heat wave)
It's tearing me apart”
Just then, the truck door opens and Theo flinches, feeling caught. Even though Liam couldn’t possibly know what he’s been thinking. No, the beta just shoots him a wide smile as he climbs up into the truck.
“Finally listening to some music, huh?” He says, not commenting on the choice at all. Theo squints at him, not knowing if Liam isn’t saying anything deliberately, or if he just doesn’t care. Theo grunts and says nothing, only puts the truck into gear and backs out of the parking lot.
Meanwhile, the song ono the radio keeps playing:
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
(But it's all right, girl)
(Go ahead, girl)
Yeah, yeah
(Well, it's all right, girl)
(Can't miss it, that's love, girl)
I feel it burning
(Don't pass up this chance)
Right here in my heart
(It sounds like a true romance)
Don't you know it's like a heat wave?”