Chapter Text
“Hey everyone!” Phichit said to the camera cheerily, grinning. “Phichit here! I’m sorry I haven’t been posting videos or livestreaming much, I’ve been really busy! Where am I now?” he extended the selfie stick, allowing the viewers watching the stream to see the view from his hotel room. “I’m in Barcelona! In the GPF! I made it!” He squealed, flopping down onto his bed. He saw the messages begin to pop up on the screen.
‘Congrats!’
‘U MADE IT MY SON!!!’
‘#soproudofmybaby’
‘OMG UR IN BARCELONA?! CAN WE MEET UP?!’
Phitchit giggled, feeling warm and fuzzy inside from all the sweet commentary.
“Aw. Thanks guys. And to anyone in Barcelona, if you drop by the Barcelona rink or the hotel near by, just tell them that Phichit sent you, and I’ll be right on down!” He said with a wink. “Unless I’m performing, of course.”
‘U CAN WIN GOLD I BELIEBE IN U BBY’
‘*believe’
“Aw, you guys... you’re making me blush. So, why the sudden urge to livestream? Well, firstly, I have some very, very important news.”
‘☆●☆’
‘LAY IT DOWN BB’
‘TELL MEH’
“You all remember my good friend Yuuri Katsuki, right?”
‘DUH!!!’
‘PRECIOUS MEGANE CHILD’
‘HIS EROS WAS HAWT’
‘HAVE MY BABIES’
“And his boyf- I mean coach, Viktor Nikiforov?” He asked slyly, watching the messages appear frantically on the screen.
‘Mm, love dat Russian ass’
‘TEH BOOTEH KINGGG’
‘they’re fucking aren’t they’
‘THEY KISSED IN CHINA AND NO ONE CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE’
‘PHICHIT TELL USSSSSSS’
“Don’t be fooled when the commentators say that the rings they’re wearing are a prayer for victory, they’re engagement rings.”
‘WHAAAAAAAAT’
‘I KNEW THEY BE FUCKIN’
‘VIKTOR X YUURI YASSSS’
‘OTPPPP’
‘MY CHILDRENNN’
‘Im ded’
‘I actually cant’
‘phichit u lyin’
‘o snap they legit fuckin’
‘nooo’
‘I don’t believe u’
Phichit threw back his head and laughed at the onslaught of commentary.
‘this can’t be happening’
‘OML WHENNNN’
‘omf they’re getting hitched’
‘Phichy u the maid of honour or best man?’
‘MY ACNE HAS BEEN CUREDDD’
“Okay, okay. One at a time. I don’t know whether I’m the best man or maid of honour, but I’m bound to be one of them. I will give Yuuri the bachelor party of his lifetime. I don’t know the date of the wedding, because Viktor said they’d get married once Yuuri wins gold. And while Yuuri is an incredible skater... the competition’s rough... I mean, I’m on the roster and that already makes things a little tricky for him.”
‘r u gonna let him win?’
‘poor bby ur stuck between ur otp and a gold medal.’
‘u might break yuuris heart of u win’
Phichit’s eyes darted nervously to the side.
“I know, I know. It’s a tricky situation. I want Yuuri to marry Viktor but I want gold so, so bad..."
‘my poor angel son’
‘wat r u gonna do???’
“L-look guys, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there, ok?” Phichit said quickly, preferring not to touch the subject of the competition. “Anyway, while I’m here, I thought, why not prank my fellow skaters? Coaches, friends and family are included by the way. You can tell me who you want me to prank, how you want me to do it and who with in the comments and the most popular of each category will be the prank and people I pick. I’ll Be doing this one after the other, so be quick with voting!” He grinned, awaiting the replies that were about to explode onto his screen.
‘Prank JJ with an air horn and yuuri’
‘YURI P SCARE CAM’
‘YESSS SCARE THE KITTEN’
‘YURI P SCARE’
‘SCARE THE RUSSIAN FAIRY’
‘prank Viktor by replacing him cologne with gravy’
‘dude wth’
‘BUT IT WOULD B SO FUNNY’
‘how is that funny.’
‘bc you’d have yuuri hugging him all like oh Vitya and then BOOM HIS FIANCE SMELLS LIKE FUD’
‘bro u need help’
Phichit watched in satisfaction as the comments appeared on his screen rapidly every second. There sure were a lot of people watching his stream...
“Okay! That’s times up I’m afraid. The most popular answer is... Yuri Plisetsky scare cam!” Phichit announced, feeling excitement bubble up inside of him. “I asked you guys to say who you wanted me to prank people with though... oh well. I’m sure I’ll find someone. I need to go find a scary mask. Until next time, Phichit loves chu!” He giggled, blowing a kiss at the screen before ending the stream.
“Okay.” He murmured to himself. “What is that gremlin afraid of...” he pondered, switching to Instagram and scrolling through his feed. “Who would know what Yuri Plisetsky fears most in the world?”
The username ‘Yuris_Angels10’ popped up on the screen, a photo underneath showing poor Yuri wearing cat ears and surrounded by a horde of teenage girls.
“They’re probably what he fears, but I’m not cruel enough to subject him to being eaten alive.” He mused, scrolling down.
He scrolled past the accounts appearing on his screen, ruling out who knew what and whether it was possible to reach them.
“Georgi... it’s six now, so it’s eight there. He’s on a date by the looks of it. Wouldn’t want to disturb him.” He wondered aloud. “Mila’s in the Christmas market... Yuuri wouldn’t know...”
The username ‘yuri_plisetsky’ appeared onscreen, showing a selfie of Yuri and Otabek on a black motorbike, the location tagged: Central Barcelona.
“At least I know where to find him...”
The username v-nikiforov appeared on the screen as Phichit scrolled down, a picture of Viktor and Christophe in shades and speedos sitting by the hotel pool.
“That’s it!” Phichit cried. Viktor probably knew Yuri the best out of everyone here, having known him so long. Of course!
Phichit leaped off of his bed, grabbing his gloves and hoodie, hurriedly pulling them on and running out of his room, bolting to the elevator and hammering the button to send him to the top floor.
“C’mon, c’mon hurry up! Can’t this thing go any faster?” He whined, jogging on the spot impatiently.
Ding!
The doors finally opened, revealing the vast Barcelona skyline and the glowing turquoise pool with Viktor and Christophe chatting and drinking champagne together.
“Viktor!” Phichit called, running up to the pool where the two older men where.
“Ah Phichit, come to join us?” Viktor asked, reaching for a spare flute and pouring some for the young Thai skater.
“Uh... no. I don’t drink. Not a lot anyways...”
“You can still swim.” Christophe offered, plucking the spare flute from Viktor’s hand and drinking from it. “Unless you’ve never learned. In that case you can just take pictures, we’re both too drunk to teach you.”
“I’m not that drunk.” Viktor snorted, splashing Christophe.
“Oh right, because you’re Russian and I’m a Swiss baby.” Christophe retorted, rolling his eyes.
“When did I ever say that?” Viktor asked, taking Christophe’s empty flute.
“Vancouver GPF 2008.”
“I was nineteen and very drunk. I said some bad things and made some bad decisions-”
“Uhm I don’t really want to butt in but I’m here because I need to talk to Viktor a sec.” Phichit said quickly, cutting off the potential argument between the veteran skaters.
“Oh, sorry about that Phichit..” Viktor said, grinning sheepishly. “What can I help you with? Is this about Yuuri?”
“Yeah. What is Yuri scared of?” Phichit asked, watching Viktor’s expression shift from friendly to confused.
“He’s afraid of losing people... well, losing in general, but more the concept of it than the real thing...” he mused, leaning against the pool walls. “You’re his best friend aren’t you? I’m surprised he hasn’t confided in you about his fears...”
“N-no. Not Katsuki. Plisetsky. What’s Yuri Plisetsky afraid of?”
“Oh! That makes more sense. It’s confusing having two Yuuri’s, that’s why Yuuri’s sister came up with the idea to call Yuri Plisetsky Yurio.”
“Okay. What is Yurio afraid of?” Phichit asked, hoping this didn’t take much longer. For someone so skilled Viktor was quite the airhead...
“Why do you want to know?” Viktor asked, climbing out of the pool. “Yebat, it’s cold...”
“My fans voted for me to prank him while livestreaming.” Phichit explained as Viktor grabbed the fluffy white towel on one of the sun beds.
“Oh. Okay, I’ll be sure to tune in.” He smiled, towelling his silver hair dry. “Now... what is he afraid of... hm... well I remember the time Georgi, Mila and I were going to watch Stephen King’s ‘It’ and he refused to leave, and It traumatised him.”
“Sooo creepy clown mask?”
“Definitely.” Viktor told him with an affirmative nod.
“Thanks Viktor!” Phichit called, running back to the elevator, heading straight down to the lobby, thankful that he’d left his wallet in his hoodie pocket.
Once it reached the ground floor, Phichit sprinted out of the elevator into the lobby, crashing into to something soft, or someone.
“Nē, sore o miru!” yelled a female voice, faltering when the speaker saw Phichit. It was Mari, Yuuri’s older sister. “Oh... Phichit-kun... sorry...”
“Mari! I didn’t know you were coming to Barcelona!” Phichit grinned, hugging his friend’s sister tightly.
“Of course I’d come and support you and Yuuri!” she smiled, hugging Phichit back. “What’s the hurry?”
“I need to find a clown mask ASAP.”
Mari looked confused, brows farrowing as she tucked a loose strand of dark blonde dyed hair behind her ear.
“Why?”
“To prank Yurio. I’m gonna scare him.”
“Sounds fun.” She smiled, nursing the thought of a petrified Yurio.
“You know a place where I could find one?” Phichit asked hopefully.
“Nope, but I’ll help you look.”
Mari and Phichit had spent the past hour searching Barcelona’s many stores and stalls in hope of finding a mask to startle the Russian fairy, and were having little luck.
“Ugh. This is taking FOREVER.” Mari groaned, dropping down onto the bench with a groan.
“Tell me about it.” Phichit frowned, sitting down next to his friend’s sister. “At this rate we’re never gonna pull it off...”
“Yeah... I really wanted to scare Yurio...”
“Did somebody mention a grumpy little prima ballerina?” sang a voice, cutting through the buzzing chatter of the marketplace. Phichit looked up to see a tall woman clad in black leggings and dark purple jacket, with excitable blue eyes and shoulder length red hair. This of course, matched the description of Russian female senior division skater Mila Babicheva.
“Oh, yeah. I’m doing a scare cam prank-”
“For your livestream. I know. Sala, Emil, Mickey and I were watching it and we took the liberty of getting you this.” She grinned, holding out a blue plastic bag. “Consider It a good luck gift.” She said with a wink.
Phichit opened the bag curiously, reaching inside and grasping the vermillion nylon curls from within the bag, removing the item from the bag.
“Holy shit!” Phichit gasped, staring back at the horrific mask before him. “That is-”
“The single most horrifying mask you’ve ever seen? I brought it along to scare Yurachka but I haven’t had the chance to... so I thought you could!” she grinned, bouncing on her heels.
“I was gonna say perfect. This is great! Now all we need to do is find Yurio!” Phichit grinned, looking at Mari.
“He’s in the tea shop a couple blocks east with Otabek.” Mila told them before Phichit had a chance to take out his phone. “They had to go back and pay for the date your brother and Vitya interrupted. They probably stayed for extra tea.”
“Oh, ok.” Mari shrugged. “Hold on that was a date?!”
“He was blushing and smiling, it was a date.” Mila shrugged.
“You weren’t even there. How do you know what he looked like?”
“Vitya posted it on Instagram.” Mila told them, holding out her phone.
“Mila! There you are!” yelled Sala, the petite Italian skater running up to her. “Don’t run off like that!” she pouted as her brother Michele ran up to her, Emil in tow.
“I mean, if you were gonna ditch us you could’ve told us.” Emil grinned, winking at the Russian.
“If you think about ditching my sister, you’ve got another thing coming you-”
“Sorry!” Mila laughed uneasily, hands up in a defensive manner. “I just had to give the mask to Phichit. Chill Mickey, we can go now. Bye guys! Text us when you go live, we’ll be watching.” She said with a wink, turning on her heel and walking away, arm linked with that of Sala Crispino, much to her brother’s digression.
“You ready to do this?” Phichit asked Mari as he stood from his seat, clutching the blue plastic bag.
Mari rose from her seat with a sigh, burrowing her hands further into the pockets of her parka.
“Yeah, sure. He’s gonna hate us after this, but there’s nothing katsudon can’t fix.” She shrugged.
“What's up everyone! Phichit here!” Phichit grinned, greeting the viewers as the livestream began. “Today I’m with Mari Katsuki, Yuuri’s older sister. She’s really cool and a super supportive sister. Yuuri is so lucky to have her!”
“Aw, Phichit. I’ll rooting for you too, not just my brother.” Mari smirked, nudging Phichit.
‘she’s so pretty’
‘I want to marry yuuris sister’
‘get to the praaankkk’
“Really? Thank you! Anyway, I asked you who you wanted me to prank, and you voted and the results came in, so right now, we are about to prank the Russian Fairy, Yuri Plisetsky, with a jump scare.”
“He’s gonna hate us after this.”
‘don’t scare him too much ok’
‘I can’t wait this is gonna be lit’
‘this is gonna be hilarious’
“So, what’s gonna happen is: we have tracked Yuri down to this tea shop, which,” using the selfie stick, he angled the camera towards the tea shop from the wall the were hidden behind before bringing it back to him.
‘omf is that Otabek Altin????’
‘holy shizzle that otabek’
‘r they on a date’
“I don’t know guys! Calm down, one at a time.” Phichit said quickly, in an attempt to calm the frantic commentary. “Anyway. Mari here,” He said, motioning to Mari, who waved at the camera. “Will be filming, while I risk death to scare him. We have this mask,” He said, lifting up the mask and showing it to the screen. “Courtesy of Mila Babicheva, I know you’re watching by the way. I’ll make you proud. And I’m gonna wear this mask and jump out at him.”
‘That mask is fucking horrifying’
‘damn’
‘that mask is gonna give me nightmares ’
“They’re coming.” Mari warned.
“Well, say goodbye to my face,” Phichit said, handing the selfie stick to Mari, who switched to the back camera as he pulled the mask on. “Its about to get freaky.”
‘pls no’
‘be safe bby’
‘he might kill u’
‘if he’s with beka then Phichit might actually die’
‘guys this was a bad idea he might actually die’
“Um, Phichit...” Mari said as Phichit got into position.
“Yeah?”
“Your fans think you’re gonna die.”
“Then it will be an awesome and valiant death. They here yet?”
“Almost... Almost...”
“... and it’s just so disgusting I can barely stand to be around them because they’re so mushy together.” Came Yurio’s sneer. Phichit could see him through the eye slits in the latex mask.
“Now!” Mari hissed.
Phichit leapt in front of Yurio and Otabek, roaring loudly.
“GRRRR!” Phichit growled, flailing his arms.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!” Yurio screamed, loud and Hugh pitched, leaping onto Otabek, clinging around the Kazakhstani skater’s neck and shoulders, shaking violently. “KILL IT BEKA IT WANTS MY BLOOD! KILL IT! KILL ITTTT!”
Phichit pulled off the mask, howling with laughter.
“Chill, it’s just a mask! Calm down Yurio.” Mari laughed, coming out from behind the wall, still livestreaming.
The teenager opened his eyes, seeing Phichit before him instead of the horrifying clown monster from minutes before.
“What.”
“We’ve been livestreaming the whole time!” Phichit grinned.
Yurio paled, letting go of Otabek and dropping back onto the ground, brushing himself off.
“This was a prank?! It was a sick, twisted prank.” Yurio spat.
“Don’t blame me, my fans voted for it.” Phichit shrugged.
If looks could kill, Phichit would already be dead with the look Yurio cast in his direction.
“Then your fans are shit.” He growled.
“Uh... we share some of the same fans.”
Yurio’s mouth opened for a response, but snapped shut as he clenched his fists and pushed past them.
“Otabek. Let’s head bad to the hotel.”
The older teen nodded, following after Yurio.
“Well. That went... well? Okay? Bad?” Mari murmured.
“It went according to plan!” Phichit grinned, running a hand through his hair.
“But Yurio hates us.” Mari deadpanned, handing the selfie stick back to Phichit, who switched it back to the front camera.
“Don’t worry, it’s like you said: nothing a good bowl of katsudon can’t fix.” He grinned, eyes widening at the sea of commentary.
‘OMF LOL HIS FACE’
‘poor smol bean’
‘rip otabek 2k16’
‘so much for a tough punk amirite’
‘Poor Yuri :(‘
‘u guys r so mean’
‘THIS IS HILARIOUS I’M DYING ASDFGHJKL’
“Well guys, this ends the stream for today. I’ll open the polls tomorrow morning at eight am Barcelona time and close them half an hour later, because hey, there’s almost twenty other skaters here and I’ll need to prank ‘em all. So vote quickly! Phichit and Mari out!” He grinned, Mari winking and flashing a peace sign at the camera before he shut off the feed.