Chapter Text
The house was quiet.
Lucy was standing at the kitchen counter, looking straight down at the cup of coffee which she had not touched, as the clock on the oven moved past midnight. Their daughter had been asleep upstairs for about an hour, and as a rule that would have been the time when Lucy finally allowed herself to relax. Not tonight, not since Tim had not come home yet again.
The front door eventually opened and then came the usual noise of the keys being put into the bowl by the entrance. A few seconds later Tim appeared in the kitchen, still wearing his uniform and with exhaustion clearly visible on his face.
"Are you still awake?" he asked in a quiet voice.
Lucy wouldn’t look at him.
“Yeah.”
He instantly realised that something was wrong. He watched her closely, frowning slightly as he edged his way deeper into the kitchen.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Lucy.”
Finally she looked back at Tim, with an inscrutable expression on her face “You’re home late.”
He looked over to the clock then back.
“I know,” he said.
“You said you’d be home hours ago.”
“I got held up at work.”
“You always get held up at work.”
His jaw tightened slightly.
“It’s not exactly something I can control.”
“No, of course not” she laughed softly, but no one felt remotely amused. “You don’t really have any control over that sort of thing do you?"
Tim kept staring at Lucy, his jaw as if he was holding something back on purpose.
"What does that mean?" he asked.
Lucy answered, "You know what it means." Her tone was flat. No room for doubt.
Tim replied, "I really do not."
Lucy turned her back on Tim then picked up her coffee and set it down again without drinking it. It was like the cup was something to hold for a moment.
"It means this keeps happening Tim " Lucy said. "You say you will be home. You do not come. I put dinner on. I wait. I put our daughter to bed alone. Then I just sit here wondering if you will even walk through the door tonight. It is the same every night!”
Tim said, "I told you I got held up."
Lucy said, "And I am tired of hearing that."
Tim let out a breath and ran his hand over his face.
Tim asked, "So what do you want me to do? Walk away, from a call because you want me home by some time?"
Lucy replied quickly almost before Tim finished, "That is not what I am saying."
Tim asked, "Then what are you saying, Lucy?"
Lucy looked at Tim for a second. Her face changed. The anger eased a little and something else came underneath harder to name.
Lucy said, "Have you not noticed how often you are not here anymore?"
Tim’s face grew more serious.
“I’m here now."
Lucy shook her head.
“That’s not what matters."
“ what does?"
“The thing is I shouldn’t have to wait until midnight to see my husband."
Tim stopped talking.
Lucy looked at the coffee again her hands gripping the mug a little tighter.
“I understand your job is important Tim. I know you can’t just walk away whenever you want. I have been doing this job as long as you have." She stopped. ". Lately it feels like you have time for everyone else. You have time for work for calls for everyone who needs you.. When you finally come home you’re too tired to even speak to me."
“That’s not fair."
“No?" Lucy looked at him. "When was the last time you sat down with me and asked me how my day was?"
Tim opened his mouth. No words came out.
Lucy gave a sad nod.
“Exactly."
“Lucy I’m tired."
“So am I."
Her voice broke a little. Tim’s face became softer.
“I’m tired of putting our daughter to bed by myself. I’m tired of eating dinner. I’m tired of making up reasons, for you when she asks why Daddy isn’t home."
Tim looked away his shoulders slumping a little.
“She asked about me?"
“Tonight." Lucy swallowed. "She waited by the window for you."
That hit different.
Tim looked back at her.
“She did?"
Lucy nodded.
“She finally fell asleep waiting."
For a moment neither of them said a word.
Then Tim quietly said, "I didn’t know."
“That’s the issue Tim."
His eyes met hers.
“You don’t know anymore.”
Tim looked back at her, frustration and exhaustion written over his face.
“I don’t know, Lucy. Maybe I’m just not the husband you need me to be."
Lucy stared at him.
“Then what are you saying?"
Tim shook his head running a hand through his hair.
“I’m saying maybe you’d be off without me."
“Don’t do that."
“Do what?"
“Push me away because you’re angry."
“I’m not pushing you away."
“Yes you are."
Tim’s patience finally snapped.
“Maybe we should just get a divorce then."
The words hung between them.
Silence.
Tim’s expression changed instantly the anger disappearing from his face as he realised what he’d just said.
Lucy didn’t move.
She just stared at him.
“What?"
Tim swallowed.
“Lucy—"
“No." Her voice was above a whisper. "You don’t get to take that back."
“I didn’t mean—"
“You said it."
“I was angry."
“. You said it."
Lucy looked down at her wedding ring twisting it slowly around her finger.
Tim took a step, towards her.
“Lucy I don’t want a divorce."
She finally looked up at him her eyes glassy.
“Then why was it so easy for you to say it?”