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EPIC x the Life Series except its bad and I'm tired

Summary:

you read the title
but Siren Scott is the one who shape shifted into Penelope and Joel is also there I guess

Notes:

guys I sprained my dominant hand's wrist and now I can't really squeeze things but its probably fine it is Friyay after all
AND WHO THE FUCK IS BLASTING RABBITOLOGY'S NEWEST EP PHTHALO IT IS SUCH A BANGER I LUV IT SO MUCH!!!!!!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Another day dawned and the promise of food in the distance was enough to wake Scott from his slumber. The other sirens were already plotting to sink the ship that dared to disturb their waters and it became abundantly clear to Scott they were getting nowhere.

Two sirens were being held back from coming to blows over what song they should sing, the melodies were special for these kinds of ships, a warship from the looks of it.

 

Eventually another siren spoke up and everyone quietened down. She suggested trying to seduce them with a lover’s form and as such all eyes landed on Scott.

He may have been an amazing shape-shifter but was certainly not one to go out of his way to do so. Let alone play a woman.

“Well, are you going to do it?” 

He sighed, “Fine, but I get the first bite!”

“Deal. Now the ship will be passing over in around half an hour so get ready. No time to waste girlies!”

And with a flick of her tail the lady was gone and Scott suddenly had to go do things. This early in the morning should be a crime but he supposed he didn't mind. After all, there was a meal to come in just a bit.

And Scott was just so famished.

 

The ship was nearing the domain and so the shiny cyannette climbed onto a rock to get a good look at the captain. He was a middle aged man with brown hair and a tired expression. Fortunately the captain and crew seemed none the wiser to the schemes of the waterfolk and they carried along with their business.

 

Now sirens, when they needed to shift into someone the victim knew, could glimpse some of their memories. Scott was especially good at this, and so shifting came easier to him. Still obscuring the bottom half of their body, namely the tail, was hard so most decided to just turn the top half. Even though they could walk on land, and Scott had done it multiple times, the sirens were encouraged to stay below the waves. Like he cared but still to be a part of the pod you needed to follow the rules. So he obliged.

Being a natural at shifting only helped his image and he felt safe enough to brave the shores sometimes. Mostly to gossip with Circe and Gem, one of her nymphs.

Still, this would work perfectly.

 

The ship was just now above them, it was his time to strike.

He shifted into a lovely woman and prepared to go seduce a man for the 100000th time.

 

~~~

 

Oh gods if he survived this he would never be allowed to help lure prey to their deaths again. Him and the others were now tied up on the captain’s ship and were now stuck listening to him gloat.

“Hey dumbass,” Scott called tauntingly, “could you just kill us already? Your voice is too annoying, I truly have no idea why you're in charge around here.”

“Dude shut up!” another siren whisper-shouted to him.

“Now who do you think you are talking to the King of Ithaca like that?” the captain said.

Now Ithaca, that rang a bell. Katherine was a maid there, as well as Joel who was a part of their army. An army that was currently out at sea after fighting in the Trojan war.

Oh so that’s who the ship was under, King Odysseus. Preferably Joel was dead by now, he always hated that guy.

Of course he couldn't be that lucky as a familiar face resurfaced in the crown and called out.

“Captain, I know that siren! He’s a blummin idiot and kinda mean but he is a friend.” Good to know Joel still had his back, even if it was to make sure Lizzie wouldn't have to mourn him.

“Oh hey Joel… could you untie us now and let us go?” he called sassily to annoy the man.

“Uhm, yeh sure if the captain allows it.”

 

All eyes were on Odysseus now as he tried to find the words with which to make his decision. On one hand he needed to kill the evil monsters and blah blah blah, on the other Scott was acting like a human and therefore would be harder to kill.

“By the way if you don't let us free then my other friends will go and ravage Ithaca to the ground. Time is ticking Ody…” he grinned as the man’s face turned to horror.

 

The sirens behind him were still slashing at their ropes with their claws and when he heard the final rope snap he decided it was go-time. The sirens were being kept on the side of the deck, just a little above them was the railing on the ship and that would be pretty easy to climb.

He poked the others to get them to go and in one fluid movement they all clambered over the side and splashed into the water. He did the same and as the crew started to run to stop him he called one last thing.

“Odysseus your lucky I have friends in Ithaca else we would flood the place and drown all its citizens.

Bye Joel!”

 

And he let gravity take him down down down, and into the cool abyss of the water.

 

His stomach groaned and Scott rolled his eyes. All that effort and not even a snack. A shame.



Notes:

if you read this then congrats, u've officially made it to my weirdest, crackiest, and stupidest fic ive ever written. and the worst bit is I plan to continue this series... so if u like this fine shite then watch out 4 those
ty 4 reading and consider commenting to lemme know of typos or just general thoughts