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“..Where- I.. like, where have you been?” Parrot asked, horribly calm now, anger somehow slipped entirely in an act that seemed to scare even him. Parrot took a step back from Wifies in precaution for himself, but thankfully also sheathed the axe in an act of kindness Wifies didn’t feel like he deserved.
“Not here, I’ve been on.. A bunch of servers.” Wifies admitted awkwardly, now very aware of Hummer probably burrowing unseen eyes into the back of his head from somewhere in the brush. “I only, um, faked my death because I was scared. Of losing this server, I mean.”
“Because you’re a-”
CRASH
Before Parrot could continue what was probably another cold insult, he was cut off by a comically loud snapping noise, a heavy thump on the ground and not so subtle complaining coming from the brush.
"Fuck!" Wifies heard a distinctly Hummer sounding voice call out, and although he knew who it was, it didn't stop Wifies from startling like the scaredy-cat he was at heart.
Parrot and Wifies stalled in their argument, Parrot also seemingly startled beyond himself, both of the boys now peering down into the offending bundle of twigs and leaves that had caused such a racket.
Wifies tried to hide the wince on his face, poorly, mind, before giving up and dropping his face into his hands and sighing like an all too disappointed parent. “Hummer.”
“Who?” Parrot said, probably looking between the jostling leaves and Wifies like he was trying to piece the scene together in his mind. Wifies didn't have to look to know he was a little alarmed.
“It’s- ..Look, he's harmless.” Wifies sighed softly, dragging his hands down his face, hand waving away Parrot’s worry with a surprisingly careless gesture. Watching in misery as Hummer dragged himself off of the forest floor.
“Bro what?” Parrot trailed off into a familiar set of quiet stuttered laughter, as if he’d completely forgotten who Wifies was and any possible danger he could have been in. Wifies too, if only momentarily, leaned into it, sue him alright? He missed his best friend, Let him believe everything was fine for a little while.
“Hummer- he knows you’re here!” Wifies called out to the TV, who only replied with a very loud string of expletives, which Wifies wouldn’t be fond of repeating himself, some of them aimed directly at him, actually.
He heard Parrot beginning to giggle off to the side, half attempting to stifle it into his hand, and failing rather miserably.
“This guy bro. I swear.” Wifies giggled, if only because Parrot's laughter was naturally infectious, to him at least. “Can’t take him anywhere..”
Speak of the devil, Hummer finally appeared out of the bushes, horribly rumpled looking, a few leaves and sticking to him in a display Wifies didn’t want to point out to him, fretting he’d get rid of them even though it was a hilarious look on him.
“How does this happen dude?” Wifies asked, gesturing rather broadly to Hummer’s… well everything.
“You- I- You know I’m not good at parkour!” Hummer defended himself, gesturing angrily at Wifies in return, then pointedly crossing his arms with an all too animated huff. Head tilted up in defiance, as to not look at Wifies at all.
It didn't work as Wifies, rather obviously, was taller than him.
“You didn’t have to-” Wifies started to point out, but stopped once the TV looked directly at him with a look he could tell, even with no face, that if he continued, Parrot wouldn’t be the worst of his worries.
"I don't want to hear it."
“I.. okay.”
“Wifies bro, who is this kid?” Parrot asked, clutching him by the shoulder and half peeking around his shoulder where Wifies had accidentally stood in front of him in the midst of his scolding. Parrot still not remembering he, again, wanted Wifies dead, or alternatively, so lost in the divine comedy of it all that he didn't have the heart to care right now.
“My uh,” Wifies grinned sheepishly, still continuing to be stared down by Hummer’s embarrassed, not even actually because he didn’t have eyes, stare. “Research partner?”
“Why are you hesitating??” Hummer asked, rathe bewildered, flicking a hand back and forth between them at light speeds, as if Wifies had forgotten what they were.
He didn't have an exact answer as to why he did, honestly. But what he knew was that, that was just how it came out and that he'd said it all too hesitantly for Parrot to believe him. Wifies wasn’t even shocked in the slightest when Parrot shot him a look, shot Hummer the same one, looked back at him and sighed in that trademarked parrotX2 way of telling Wifies he not only didn’t believe him, but found it extremely funny he was lying to him about it all in one.
“..Good for you man.” Parrot spoke, horribly entertained as he crossed his arms. "Always knew you had terrible taste."
Wait he thought-
Uh-oh.
Wifies couldn't take another blow to his dignity, he HAD to stop this.
"Hey!" Hummer yelled, offended both in part because he was apparently "terrible taste" and also, probably, at the assumption him and Wifies were dating at all, probably. Wifies wasn't in his mind. "What the hell?? Bad taste???"
"Okay first of all, not bad taste." Wifies said, counting the points out on his hands, hearing Hummer huff proudly at his defence of him and watching Parrot role his eyes at him. "Secondly, we aren't a thing- I don't know where you got that from but-"
Parrot stared him down with a look cold enough to freeze him in place.
“Wifies. You being in love with a TV is literally the only thing about you I don’t hate with a passion right now. Do not push your luck.” Parrot snapped, and the dog ears against Wifies head flattened down almost comically.
"Wow okay damn." Hummer snarked, half to himself as he watched Parrot and Wifies argue, probably much like a divorced duo themselves. "Thank you?"
“I-..Yeah, okay. Makes sense.” Wifies for his part, trailed off awkwardly before taking a step back. One of his hands now holding the back of his neck awkwardly.
“You can go back to yelling at me now.” Wifies said somehow less awkward than Hummer retreating quietly back to the bushes, getting the hint, and hopefully not climbing anymore trees any time soon.
“...” Parrot stayed oddly silent, and even more surprisingly even with the intermission over, his face didn’t drop out of his grin.
Wifies tilted his head curiously, face contorted a little into confusion, “What?”
“.. A British man? Really?? Bro, I can pull better than that.” Parrot giggled now at Wifies' expense, and said Wifies face dropped so fast it was almost scary, had he not been the victim of such mockery.
“You don't date people???" Wifies voice was an octave higher than he liked when he argued back, but he continued anyways, with no dignity left to lose. "That's literally not fair dude."
"Yeah that's my point bro. I could genuinely pull better and I don't even want to" Parrot shrugged all too casually, staring in pure defiance up at Wifies who only seemed to get more annoyed the longer he did it. So he continued anyways because Parrot is a merciless player and anyone who said otherwise was lying.
"I preferred you when you wanted to kill me, actually."
"Do you want me to? Would that make you feel better, gay boy?"
"Excuse me??" Wifies balked, offence obvious on his face, but he looked too entertained for Parrot to stop, unfortunately. "I'd rather that than you lecturing me about my love life, when you literally don't have one."
"Yeah whatever bro." Parrot brushed him off instantly, not gracing him with a proper reply, before his eyes finally went back to that cold look Wifies had gotten so accustomed to.
"Where was I?"
"You were calling me a coward, I think." Wifies replied listlessly, eyes now diverted to the treeline.
"Because you are-"
Anddd they were off again. Back on track.