Chapter Text
He was tired.
And he wasn’t tired in the sense of needing to take a nap to rest his body. Neither was he tired in the sense of wanting to take a trip to somewhere else in order to forget his problems and his responsibilities for a few days. But maybe Minhyuk’s needed that second option.
He looked down at the dark-haired boy lying on his thighs. Minhyuk eyes were closed, but Wonho knew he wasn’t sleeping; he was just taking a few seconds in the middle of his story to calm down a little and contain his tears. Wonho caressed his hair to comfort him.
He was tired of always being in this situation. That’s it.
He knew Minhyuk since they were only twelve years old and they became best friends almost immediately. They had to go through all kind of situations together during their teenage years. They had to go through all that phase of “experimentation”, when Wonho went out with a lot of girls, too many girls actually, only having one night stands and not so serious relationships; and Minhyuk kept himself away from it, looking from the distance, worried about his best friend. Obviously, Wonho tried to join Minhyuk to the “fun” countless times, but the younger would always say ‘no’. Wonho didn’t get upset about it. Actually, Wonho never has gotten upset about anything related to Minhyuk, he didn’t have any complain about the younger boy. Not at all.
He didn’t even get upset when Minhyuk confessed to be gay, when both of them were sixteen years old. And he didn’t get upset when Minhyuk confessed to be in love with one of their closest friends; Shownu.
But he did get surprised when, after many years of Minhyuk being “in love” with Shownu, after all those times Minhyuk had relationships with jerks and after all those times Wonho had to break some noses, Shownu suddenly decided to correspond Minhyuk’s feelings.
And Wonho should feel happy for his friend… Only God knew there wasn’t anything more important for Wonho than Minhyuk’s happiness. But he just couldn’t swallow all the story about how Shownu woke up one day realizing he wanted to be with Minhyuk. Obviously, he wouldn’t say that to Minhyuk, he kept his mouth shut and listened every time Minhyuk had a problem with Shownu… Just like in that moment.
-It’s just… -Minhyuk continued in a quiet soft voice with his eyes locked into the grey sweater the older boy was wearing- I don’t know what he expects from me.
-He shouldn’t be expecting anything from you… -Wonho replied almost immediately- You’re perfect just the way you are. You don’t need to change anything.
-But then how do I make him to love me as much as I love him? -Minhyuk asked looking into Wonho’s eyes. Wonho looked back into the younger boy’s eyes then; every time he would do it he would feel weird.
It was like looking the most pure creature that has ever existed, innocent and naïve. If eyes were the door to the soul, that’s what Wonho would see in Minhyuk’s eyes. He felt full and complete having in front of him this beautiful entity and, at the same time, he would feel ashamed because he was just him, an impure creature with a human soul daring to look to Minhyuk’s eyes. He didn’t deserve Minhyuk as his best friend; no matter how long they’ve been knowing each other, Wonho would always think that way. And he couldn’t believe there was people like Shownu, people immune to Minhyuk’s pureness. How would you want to hurt such innocent creature? Wonho couldn’t understand it.
-If he doesn’t love you the way you deserve then he’s not worth it. -Wonho said, dragging his eyes away from Minhyuk’s and continuing with his caresses on Minhyuk’s dark hair. Wonho still remembers how Minhyuk’s hair used to be white a few months ago, and even though sometimes he missed the bright color, Wonho couldn’t deny Minhyuk looked as beautiful with his hair as dark as coffee.
Minhyuk sighed and sat on the couch, moving away from Wonho’s thighs. Wonho saw how Minhyuk rubbed his left eye, probably because of a tear he failed to contain. Wonho tensed his jaw. He hated to see Minhyuk crying.
-Do you want me to talk to him? -Wonho offered and Minhyuk shook his head.
-I’m sure I just haven’t tried enough. -Minhyuk smiled softly and Wonho made a face.
Wonho noted how the eyes of the dark-haired boy moved to his hair, probably trying to find a way to drag the conversation into a different topic.
-I’m bringing the hair dye and the bleach tonight. -Minhyuk said, touching Wonho’s silver and faded blue hair. Wonho sighed.- We need to dye it again.
-What I need is this hair color to disappear. -Wonho replied and Minhyuk looked at him with narrowed eyes.
-Come on! It will be fun! -Minhyuk insisted with a bright smile between his lips.
-Pfff... Ok. Fine.
-Great! -Said the dark haired boy, getting up from Wonho’s couch.- Gotta go. I’m late to class. -He took his backpack from the floor close to the couch where he was sitting with Wonho a few second ago.
Wonho saw Minhyuk walking to the apartment door, they’ve been knowing for years now so he didn’t need to take Minhyuk to the front door. Minhyuk even had one copy of the key of Wonho’s apartment, which means that the yourger boy would sometimes enter to the apartment and make a mess when he wasn't round. Minhyuk stopped his walk just before going out and turned around to look at Wonho.
-Don’t talk with him about this, Wonho… I’m serious. -He said and Wonho shrugged.
-I wouldn’t do anything you don’t want me to do.
Minhyuk shot him a glare and then sighed, leaving the apartment.
First thing Wonho did as soon as Minhyuk closed the door was to take out his cellphone from the back pocked of his pants. Both Minhyuk and Wonho knew very well that he would end up talking with Shownu eitherway. Wonho was just like that, he’s always been like that. If there was something bothering Minhyuk, he would make sure to fix it.
He sent a text message to Shownu and asked to meet him in a café not so far from his own apartment. He got up and went to his bedroom to look for one of his jackets, his favorite one, but then he remembered that Minhyuk took his leather jacket a few days ago. He sighed, choosing a flannel shirt with red and black squares and a blue jean jacket.
He left home ten minutes later and it took him ten minutes more to get to the café. Shownu wasn’t there yet, so Wonho ordered an Americano and sat on one of the last tables in the room, away from the front door.
He wasn’t sure about what he was going to tell Shownu, obviously he didn’t want to start a fight (not like the other times when he had to talk with Minhyuk’s ex/boyfriends, when he did want to start a fight). This time his intentions were to help, not to break noses. Minhyuk has been in love with Shownu for too many years for Wonho to fuck it up like that. But then again, maybe it was the best for Minhyuk because if Shownu was playing a game…
His thoughts vanished when one girl came with his drink, he smiled as soon as she got to the table and she spoke looking nervous.
-Uhm… You forgot to give your name before, so we couldn't call you and let you know when your coffee was finished… -She said with a soft and shy voice- I’ve brought it to you.
Wonho widened his smile and felt satisfied when the nervousness of the girl increased.
-I’m really sorry. -He apologized- I’m a little sloppy sometimes… What’s your name?
-My name is Jeung… -She whispered, blushing.
-Well, thank you, Jeung. -He said then with a smile and a wink- Again, I’m sorry for making you overwork here. -He took the cup from her hands, making sure to brush his hand with hers, causing all her face to turn red.
She made a small bow and left with a hurry, tripping with her feet due to the nervousness and hiding behind the counter as soon as she could. There were other two girls behind the counter waiting for Jeung, and both of them seemed as pleased with the interaction as the shy girl was.
Wonho looked at them satisfied and then he looked to the front door, Shownu was there. He was wearing black sportswear, he probably was at the gym before going to the café. Wonho saw Shownu’s eyes focusing on him first but then he walked to the counter making the three girls get quiet, all of them paying attention to the new guy.
Wonho snorted and rolled his eyes, looking through the window. He didn’t look back until Shownu was in front of him.
-Hey. -Greeted the dark skinned boy, sitting in front of Wonho.
-Hey. -Wonho replied, glaring at Shownu.
-Well… What’s up? -Shownu said, straight to the point.
Wonho sighed, placing his elbow on the table and lying his yaw against the palm of his hand. He looked back at Shownu with contempt.
-I’m glad you’re ok, Shownu. I’m fine as well, thanks for asking. -Wonho said with sarcasm.
-We both know we’re ok, I don’t see why we have to waste time following such formalities. -Replied the dark skinned boy and Wonho sighed again. That’s Shownu; he either spoke too little or thought of the way of speaking too little.
Another girl appeared in front of them this time, with Shownu’s order in her right hand.
-You’re Shownu, right? -She asked with a smile. She looked less shy than the previous girl, Wonho noted.- This is your coffee. Americano.
-Oh… -Shownu seemed to be a little surprised he didn’t have to get up to bring the drink himself, even though he gave his name.- Thanks. -He said, taking the cup of coffee from the girl hand and taking a zip of it. He didn’t say anything else to the girl and Wonho had to bite his lower lip to avoid sighing for the third time in less than five minutes.
-Thank you so much for your hard work, seriously. -Wonho spoke instead of Shownu, shooting a smile and a wink to the girl. She smiled back and walked away with a cute pink color on her cheeks. Wonho looked back at Shownu.- You are frustrating sometimes, you know?
-Why? I don’t care about her. -Shownu said while taking the cup of coffee back to his lips.
-Do you care about Minhyuk? -Wonho asked and Shownu stopped the cup half way to his lips, fixing his gaze on the silver haired boy- Do you know he’s in love with you?
-I don’t understand why are you bringing that up now. Is this why you wanted to meet me here today? -Shownu replied, leaving the cup on the table.
Well, at least Wonho had his attention now.
-He’s trying his best for you, he worries about you, he has all these feeling for you… Do you really love him back? Or are you just playing with him?
-I’m still not understanding what’s the point, Wonho…
-You just have to answer.
-Ok, so… Why would I be with him then? -Shownu asked back.
Wonho ignored the fact that Shownu chose not to answer his question and spoke again.- I’m worried. Minhyuk doesn’t deserve someone playing on him.
-I see. -Shownu said and he waited a couple of seconds before continuing- Minhyuk is capable enough of making his own decisions and taking responsibility later of himself and the consequences of his acts. He’s not a kid, Wonho.
Wonho raised an eyebrow. -Now I’m the one not understanding what’s all that about.
-Since I met you, you’ve been always behind him. -Shownu explained- You’re like a lap dog, always following his steps, growling and biting anyone who dares to get closer to him just because you don’t have the balls to do it yourself. You follow him and beg for the little affection he can give you, which is only as a friend.
-Are you suggesting I like Minhyuk? -Wonho asked- I’m not even into guys, Shownu.
-He isn’t a simple guy, is he? You don’t only like him, you love him. -Shownu replied and Wonho frowned a little.
-I love him as a friend. I’ve been knowing him for years, I’m pretty sure I’m not attracted to him. -Wonho said- But he’s my best friend and I’m not going to let you to play with him.
-He’s not as innocent as you believe. -Shownu said then, smiling a little- If you only knew the things he can do with that little tongue of his…
Wonho bit his lip to avoid punching Shownu’s face.
- Have a good evening. -Wonho said as he got up.
-Why don’t you make him choose? -The dark skinned boy said before Wonho could take the first step to walk away- Why don’t you make him choose between you and me?
-I wouldn’t do that to him. -Wonho answered- He loves you.
-But he loves you too, right? -Shownu spoke- You’re not happy with me close to him and to be honest, I don’t like how he’s always spending time with you.
-Shownu… -Wonho smiled, cynically.- Go fuck yourself. -He said, leaving the table and the café.
It was already 8 pm. Wonho was lying down on his couch after taking a hot shower and changing his clothes. He wasn’t actually paying attention to the tv show in front of him, he couldn’t stop thinking about his conversation with Shownu hours ago. Not about wether or not he felt something for Minhyuk, he already knew the answer was “no”; but about keeping Shownu away from Minhyuk.
He knew that he was being selfish only by considering the idea of doing it, he would become the worst human being if he succeeded. But there was something inside him shouting that Minhyuk was better without Shownu, and Wonho would protect Minhyuk no matter what, Minhyuk didn’t need Shownu for that. Besides, Wonho definitely was selfish and possessive, he had to admit.
That’s what he meant about Minhyuk having a pure soul, the one thinking about how to push his best friend’s boyfriend away was Wonho not Minhyuk. Wonho somehow imagined that Shownu would try to do the same from his side, otherwise he wouldn’t have brought up the idea.
The sound of the apartment’s door being opened was what brought Wonho back to the reality. He looked at the door and saw Minhyuk there, trying to enter the apartment together with two backpacks and many other bags in his hands. Wonho got up and walked to him.
-What’s all this? Are you moving in or what? -The silver and blue haired boy joked and Minhyuk stuck out his tongue in response.
-This is our food, idiot. -Explained the younger boy- I’ve bought Chinese food for dinner, but I brought you ramen as well.
-That’s why you’re my favorite person. -Wonho replied with a smile, taking the bags from Minhyuk hands and putting them over the kitchen counter. He didn’t waste time, moving things inside the bags and looking for the ramen.
Minhyuk closed the door and walked to the older boy bedroom, bringing with him his two backpacks. Wonho didn’t pay attention to him, looking for dish and glasses to serve the meal.
-So… Shownu told me you met him today. -Wonho heard from his bedroom and he tensed up for a moment.- He didn’t told me what you were doing there, but he did ask me to remind you to “do not forget” what he told you. -Minhyuk continued, walking back to Wonho’s side. Wonho avoided his eyes while serving part of his ramen in one plate as Minhyuk spoke again- You know… I do expect you to tell me what you were doing together.
-We talked. It was a short conversation. -Wonho said and it was true, right? Their conversation lasted what? 20 minutes?
-Oh… Right. I’m sure it didn’t have anything to do with what we talked earlier today.- Minhyuk said and Wonho looked back at him, shaking his head a little.
-Uhm… Nope. Not at all.
-So… You wouldn’t mind telling what’s this thing Shownu told you, right? -The dark haired boy insisted.
Wonho thought for a few seconds and then spoke. -He told me something about going to the gym together someday. -Wonho made up- He told me my body’s starting to lose shape.
-“Lose shape”? -Minhyuk repeated.- You’re not losing “your shape”.
Wonho smiled. Sometimes it was really easy to distract Minhyuk and change the subject.
-I’m not as shaped as Shownu.
Minhyuk thought for a moment.-Actually, you are a little more shaped than Shownu. -He said, helping Wonho to serve the food on the plates.
-What? -Wonho laughed- Are you hitting on me? Do you like me or something?
Minhyuk started to laugh as well. -It’s been seven years since I told you I’m gay and you never asked me that!
-It was about time. -Wonho joked, putting the plates on a tray and taking it to the livingroom. He left the tray over the small table between the couch and the tv.
Minhyuk followed to the livingroom in silence and spoke again when Wonho sat on the couch with him.
-I’m not hitting on you and I don’t like you. -Minhyuk said and Wonho nodded.
-Right.
The dark haired boy hit Wonho’s arm in response and Wonho laughed again.- I don’t! It’s just that I like boys!… And I’m not blind. -He said and when he winked an eye to Wonho, Wonho shook a little. This time Minhyuk was the one bursting into laughter- You got so pale!
-Pfff… Shut up. -Wonho said, smiling and hitting Minhyuk with one of the couch’s cushions.
They finished the food half an hour later and even when the original idea was to dye Wonho’s hair again, Minhyuk got stuck watching a movie. Wonho didn’t complain, he stayed with Minhyuk on the couch and at some point he started to be both a pillow and a mattress for the younger boy. It wasn’t so strange for them to end up in such positions, somehow during the years they always ended up that way.
Minhyuk jumped a little on top of Wonho’s body, making Wonho laugh.
-I’ll never understand why you like horror movies. You always jump no matter what they show on the screen. -Wonho said and Minhyuk made a “shhh” as the scene on the screen got more intense.
The movie wasn’t about ghosts or demons, but about a serial killer, some psychopath that found out how to enter the house of a young and sexy girl (with big breasts; Wonho attention was there the whole time). The girl didn’t notice the presence of the guy in her house until it was too late; one of her legs was hurt when she fell from the stairs trying to escape from him. Additionally, the psychopath blocked all the exits of the house, he cut the telephone line and the power supply as well.
She was now walking through a dark hallway, only illuminated with the brightness of the moon coming from the windows on the adjacent rooms. She was hanging a knife she took from the kitchen only in case she needed to defend herself, and she would need it. The girl entered to the room at the end of the hallway; it seemed to be the room they used to storage old things since the dust on the air was almost palpable. And he was there. Or at least that’s what it seemed. A curtain was covering the man’s silhouette and the only thing easy to recognize was his shadow against the light entering from one of the windows in the room. The girl walked, nervously, holding the knife so thigh that her knuckles turned white, she was ready to attack and defend herself as soon as she moves the curtain. She raised her free hand slowly, shaking, holding the fabric of the curtain with fear but determination and…
The screen turned black, together with all the lights in the apartment and the next thing Wonho heard was the loud roaring of the sky and the swearword Minhyuk let out; holding strongly onto Wonho's torso. It started to rain at some point while they were watching the movie and judging by the sound of the lightnings and thunders outside, there was a storm coming; if it wasn’t already above them.
Wonho cursed mentally; Minhyuk was afraid of lightnings. And without electricity, it would be difficult to distract him from them.
-It’s just a blackout. -Wonho whispered against Minhyuk’s dark hair. It smelled like chocolate.
Minhyuk started to shake and pushed himself even closer to Wonho when a new lightning illuminated the room, bringing the sound of the thunder with it.
-Shhh… -Wonho tried to comfort the younger boy, while Minhyuk hid his face in the space between the left shoulder and the neck of Wonho, trying to hide himself from the thunder roaring outside.
Wonho sat on the couch with Minhyuk still on top of him and placed one of his arms behind Minhyuk’s legs, carrying the younger boy to the bedroom. Usually, Minhyuk would protest but as terrified as he was, he didn’t say a word.
-We’re safe. -Wonho said, while Minhyuk started to shudder again.
-They could break a window. -Minhyuk said in a soft almost inaudible whisper while the windows started to shake victims of the wind and the loud sound of the thunders.
-They won’t break. -Wonho replied, leaving Minhyuk on the bed. Obviously, Minhyuk didn’t let go that easy, clinging his arms around Wonho’s neck.- Minhyuk… I need to change your clothes so you’re comfy to sleep , where are your pajamas?
-Fuck the pajamas... -Minhyuk spoke- Just don’t leave.
Wonho sighed but nodded.-Let me at least take off your clothes, ok? -Minhyuk shook his head- Hey… Just keep your hands on me, keep touching me. I’m not going anywhere.
Minhyuk calmed a little and let go Wonho’s neck so he could move and have a better view of the dark haired boy. Minhyuk kept his hands against Wonho’s chest while Wonho took off the sweater and the t-shirt Minhyuk was wearing. He then moved to take off the pants and Minhyuk grabbed one of his hands so Wonho could move better.
-Done. -Wonho said when Minhyuk was only in underwear- Will you let me change my clothes? -Minhyuk shook his head and closed his eyes because of a lightning, Wonho sighed.- Ok. -He said and took off his sweater and pants.
Minhyuk’s eyes were still closed when Wonho lied down with him on the bed.
-Come here. -Wonho said and Minhyuk cuddled up to him. The older boy covered both of them with a sheet and spoke again- Better?
Wonho only saw Minhyuk’s head poking out from the sheet, nodding. Wonho smiled.
-You’re still the same nervous kid scared of…
-Shut up. -Minhyuk replied not letting Wonho finish, and Wonho started to caress his hair to comfort him.
Minhyuk stayed still for a few minutes and Wonho didn’t say anything else, feeling Minhyuk relaxing more and more with each second passing by. He would still jump when hearing a thunder but at least he wasn’t shaking anymore.
-Better? -Wonho asked again in a whisper.
-Have you ever thought that we do not behave like “normal” best friends? -Minhyuk suddenly said, his voice sounding a little louder than the older’s.
With the little illumination in the room Wonho couldn’t figure out Minhyuk’s expression, but he did notice the frowned eyebrows in the darkness.
He thought about it for a moment; he did noticed their behavior was different, mostly when they were with other friends. The rest of them would always keep a distance between each other no matter how deep their friendship was, as if there was a line they were not allowed to cross. If one of them crossed that line, the rest would joke about it and make him back off to the “correct” place.
That never happened between Minhyuk and Wonho; they never had to stay before any line because there wasn’t such line. They never established the limitations of their friendship; they were there in Wonho’s bedroom, both of them only wearing underwear, lying on the bed together; Minhyuk almost hugging him and Wonho caressing the younger boy’s hair to comfort him. Wonho was pretty sure that some other boys wouldn’t be doing that, not even if one of them were terrified about lightning; they would simply find another way to calm him down.
And even though Wonho has been always aware of the differences between their behavior when comparing them with other guys, he never actually stopped to think about it. He didn’t thought it was important. And he was wondering why Minhyuk was suddenly asking about it.
-What’s wrong?
-I never thought about it before. -Minhyuk said, taking Wonho’s hand and pushing it away from his hair. Wonho saw Minhyuk hesitate if taking distance between their two almost naked bodies, but when a new lightning illuminated the room, Minhyuk chose not to move.- Shownu mentioned something about it today.
Wonho frowned.
-Shownu mentioned what? -He asked, playing it cool.
-He asked me if there was anything happening between us. -Minhyuk explained.- He told me that he didn’t do these things with Jooheon and that sometimes he would get mad because we’re too close. He thinks we have a “thing”, maybe.
Wonho rolled his eyes in the dark. Minhyuk’s voice sounded worried and Wonho knew it was because he didn’t feel ok knowing he’s making Shownu feel uncomfortable. Wonho sighed and tried to make his voice sound soft and calm when he spoke again.
-And what do you think about it?
-Me? -Minhyuk asked, almost surprised by the question. He jumped a little and went closer to Wonho when a thunder roared outside. The storm seemed to be leaving but Minhyuk still hid his face on Wonho’s neck to hide himself from it.
-Yes, you. -Wonho said. The hand that was pushed away from Minhyuk’s head was now doing its way down to the younger boy’s back, drawing lines up and down the spine.- That’s his opinion, what’s yours?
-We don’t have a “thing”. -Minhyuk said then.- You’re not even into boys.
-Did you say that to him? -Wonho wanted to know.
-Yes. -Minhyuk answered and by the way it sounded he hadn’t finished. Wonho waited in silence until Minhyuk continued, he seemed to be hesitant to finish.- But then he said that any guy that does what we do is not straight.
The finger on Minhyuk’s back stopped and Wonho spoke with a serious voice, moving away from Minhyuk just a little so Minhyuk’s face wouldn’t be hiding on his neck but in front of him.- Do you think like that as well?
A lightning illuminated Minhyuk’s face, helping Wonho to read his expression. Minhyuk was biting his lower lip and looking away, avoiding Wonho’s eyes. Wonho also noticed that Minhyuk didn’t shake with the sound of the thunder that came after the lightning, but he did shake when Wonho’s finger finished its way down Minhyuk’s back, giving up the contact with his skin later.
-Did he told you that I like you? -Wonho asked now and again, he didn’t receive a response from Minhyuk.- This is unbelievable. -He snorted.
-Don’t get mad. -Minhyuk said when Wonho sat up at the edge of the bed.
The lights turned on in that moment. Outside it was still raining, but the electricity was restored. Minhyuk followed with his eyes the muscles on Wonho’s back and then bit his lower lip when Wonho looked back at him over his shoulder.
-I’m not mad. -Wonho said- But this night I’m sleeping on the couch, ok?
Minhyuk didn’t reply. Instead, he bit his lower lip stronger, tasting the oxide in his own blood while watching Wonho leave the room, leaving him alone on the wide bed.