Work Text:
Please forgive me if I seem forward,
But I've never been in front of anything like you,
It's the last place I ever thought I'd be when I woke up this morning,
Is it true that you are always this breathtaking?
And you're smart and you're willing,
And my god this is killing me
It started with a pencil.
Lea remembered the little details of that day all too well. Third period World History. Cold November morning, the kind of day that you would rather spend in cocoon of blankets in your bed. The teacher just droned that there would be a pop quiz, and Lea sighed along with the rest of the class. He stuck a hand in his bag without look, groping around for a pencil. When he came up empty handed, he bit his lip and glanced at the fellow sophomore that sat in front of him. Lea didn’t know the blue-haired kid personally, as he was the kind of guy to stay quiet and stick to himself while Lea was the type to do anything but that, but they rode the same bus, so surely that made it acceptable to ask to borrow a pencil, right?
He tapped the boy on his shoulder.
“Hey man, you got a pencil I can bor-“
The rest of Lea’s words choked in his throat as the other boy turned around, and wow okay, so the kid who rode the bus with him since freshman year happened to be pretty. Lea took a moment to catalogue the exact shade of his eyes, the way that his eyes crinkled and his brow arched in confusion, and alright, so maybe this wasn’t the best time to stare.
“Pencil?” he tried again, forcing a weak smile to his face.
Pretty Boy made a quiet noise before turning around to search through his own bag. As he leaned down, Lea saw a clear view of his notebook, which was covered in elaborate drawings: dragons, symbols, and a moon.
“Whoa. You’re a good drawer. Artist. Yeah.”
“Lea! Be quiet when the tests are going around,” the teacher snapped.
Lea rolled his eyes and murmured a quiet thanks as the boy passed him a pencil; he turned away too quick for Lea to see his little smile.
After school, Lea boarded his freezing bus and took a quick glance around, searching for a familiar pair of teal eyes and blue hair. Sure enough, the boy from earlier sat with his head pressed to the window, idly staring at the students milling out of the school. He ignored the questioning protests from Ren and Lumaria, who were Lea’s usually bus buddies and best friends since middle school, as he walked past them with an apologetic smile to join Pretty Boy.
“Hey, uh, is this seat taken?”
The boy jerked, clearly not expecting company, as he gave Lea a puzzled look. Just when Lea began to doubt his decision, the boy gave a little shrug.
“No.”
“Great!” Lea chirped as he plopped down beside him. “I’m Lea.”
The light smile returned to the other’s face as he said, “I’m Isa.”
From there on out, Lea and Isa became an inseparable duo. Rarely could one be seen without the other; they even tried to arrange their school schedules so that they shared most of their classes. Ren and Lumaria were less enthralled with Isa as Lea, never quite warming up to him the way that Lea did, but they all got along well enough. And honestly, those nights spent with Isa – sitting on the roof of his parents’ house, at the movie theater, getting ice cream and talking until they had long since missed their curfew – were some of the best days of his life.
Over the next two years, they developed a deep bond built on trust and understanding. They saw the highs and the lows, the times when they argued over something stupid until they shuffled their feet and apologized the next morning, the times when Lea showed up on Isa’s front door when his parents’ fighting became too much and Isa welcomed him with no questions asked, the times when they ditched school to go to an amusement park and ride the roller coasters until they were sick.
It was simple and beautiful, and Lea loved every moment of it.
Which of course meant things would complicate themselves sooner than later.
It’s not like Lea ever forgot that Isa was attractive. But the more that he got to know Isa and the closer they became, the more he just saw him as a friend, just like Ren and Lumaria. A hot friend, sure, but Lea never entertained thoughts about pursuing anything between them, not when their friendship was so strong and awesome. And throughout the next two years, Lea reveled in the shenanigans he got into with his partner in crime, never once tempted to cross the line between friend and something more.
Senior year changed everything.
It was their last year before college. It was the year Isa became a cross-country star at school. It was the year Lea questioned everything he knew and felt about Isa as the reality of their senior year fell upon him.
--
Lea slammed his locker door with more force than necessary as the final bell rang, dismissing the horde of students that hurried around like frantic ants. On most days, Lea liked to hang back for a bit before heading out to the bus, allowing some time to catch up with his friends before they all walked together to the bus stop. And so he leaned back on the wall of lockers, keeping a half-lidded gaze across the sea of students in search of a familiar sight. When he eventually saw Isa loping over, a familiar warmth blooming in his chest as he grinned and pushed off from the lockers.
“Wanna do something? My parents won’t be home for a while, so we can hang out at my place,” Lea said. Isa gave an apologetic smile and shake of his head, and Lea felt his smile slip.
“Can’t. Cross-country practice.”
Ah. Lea should have known. Isa joined cross-country the previous year and turned out to be quite a star. Now that fall arrived, track and cross-country season officially was in full swing, sucking up Isa’s time like he sold his soul (Lea’s not convinced that he didn’t). And while he’s glad track makes Isa happy, he would be lying if he said the amount of time it took up in Isa’s life didn’t frustrate Lea, even if it was selfish of him to feel that way.
So Lea gave an overdramatic sigh as he flopped back on the lockers, giving Isa his best sad face. “Breaking my heart, man.”
With a roll of his eyes, Isa gave Lea’s shoulder a playful punch, which Lea easily countered, pressing his hand against Isa’s chest and pushing him back an inch. Isa gave a little smile, the little, genuine smile that he only wore around Lea, and Lea could feel something within him swell to the point of bursting. Their eyes met in a brief, warm hold before Isa looked away, as he had started to do more often than not.
“I’ll text you when I’m done,” Isa said.
“Yeah, yeah. Have a good day at practice, sweetie,” Lea said, laughing when Isa gave him the finger and wove through the swarm of people.
Lea watched him disappear into the crowd, and maybe his eyes lingered for a moment too long, but who was watching? Who cared?
“Said bye bye to your boyfriend?”
Ah again. Lea turned to face Ren and Lumaria, their smiles wicked and teasing. Lea gave them a slow, Cheshire grin in response.
“He’s cheating on me with cross-country. I think I should break up with him,” Lea said.
Ren hummed, tilting her head a fraction to peer around Lea and back into the crowd. Her lips quirked into another nefarious smile. “He’s cheating on you with someone, alright.”
Lumaria snorted a laugh, and Lea found himself frowning as he turned around in a quick, flustered movement to see what Ren was going on about this time. He expected it to be nothing, just Ren making something up as usual, but there stood Isa near the end of the hallway, talking to a short, dark-haired girl. She was standing close, far too close to be considered just friendly, and Lea’s throat went dry. He could hear her nervous laughter from his spot, and oh, that sound made something in his stomach churn.
“Didn’t know Isa had a girlfriend,” Lumaria said, snapping his gum.
“He doesn’t. Isa doesn’t date,” Lea said, hoping he didn’t sound as terse and confused as he thought he did. Judging from the way that Lumaria arched a brow, he was willing to bet that he did.
“Well I say, good for him. He could stand to get laid,” Ren said, and Lumaria hummed in agreement. The very thought made Lea bristle like a cornered cat, his hands curling into fists.
“He’s not getting laid,” Lea snapped, and yeah, he definitely sounded far too angry about this.
Ren lifted her hands in defeat with a little laugh. “Calm down, hotshot. So yeah, maybe he’s not. But Lea, he’s a star athlete now. Girls cream themselves over brooding, hunky jocks, so it’s only a matter of time before something happens.”
The words stung far more than they should have, most of all because Ren was right. Lea forced himself to turn away from the sight, though he remained tense and on edge, glaring daggers into the floor. Lumaria cleared his throat and slid an arm around Ren’s shoulders.
“Come along, dear. I think Lea needs some alone time,” he said, giving Lea a slight head tilt. Perhaps to others it would seem callous, but Lea knew it was Lumaria’s own way of saying that he was available to talk if he needed to, which Lea appreciated.
Ren linked her arm around Lumaria’s waist and patted Lea’s cheek with her other hand. “Good luck, tiger.”
They went on their way, leaving Lea alone to ruminate on what had transpired.
When he finally gained the courage to look down the hall again, Isa disappeared.
--
No matter how hard he tried, Lea could not erase the image of Isa and the girl out of his mind. The way the girl leaned into Isa haunted Lea’s mind throughout the bus trip home, playing in his head like a broken record that he could not fix. And worst of all were the words that Ren said. Lea knew that Isa never really showed much interest in dating (hell, Lea wasn’t even sure if Isa was romantically or sexually inclined in any shape or form), but Lea also knew that Isa would probably attract attention from girls, and maybe even some of the boys.
The thought made Lea sick to his stomach, and he couldn’t understand why he had such a visceral reaction to the hypothetical situation that may or may not even happen. But it ate him up inside, burning him up like a corrosive acid. Thus, the moment that cross-country practice ended for the day, Lea dialed Isa’s number. He bit his lip as the phone rung and rung, and he almost started to believe that maybe Isa really did have a girlfriend or something, when Isa finally picked up.
“Hello?”
Isa sounded positively breathless, and Lea fell quiet as he simply listened to Isa pant into the phone, and whoa, that should not have been as sexy as it was. Lea flopped back onto his bed, trying to put the thought aside.
“Hey, if you were dating someone, you’d tell me. Right?”
The line remained quiet aside from that heavy breathing, and God, he needed to call Isa more often after he trained.
No. Scratch that. Those weren’t the kind of thoughts he should be having about his best friend.
“In the unlikely event of that happening, yes. Did you seriously call me just to ask me this?”
And now Lea felt not only like a pervert, but a jealous little boyfriend. Well shit. “Um. Kind of. Ren and Lumaria saw you talking to a girl after school, and I guess she was getting all up in your space, so I thought I’d ask.”
Isa sighed. “I’m not interested in Noi.”
Lea released a deep breath, the weight from his shoulders lifting. “Oh, cool.”
“I’m hanging up now. You interrupted my shower time.”
An image of Isa in the shower, the hot spray of the water washing away the dirt and grime off his lean muscles, popped into Lea’s brain, and yeah, not an appropriate thought in the slightest.
“Right,” Lea said, his voice not sounding as confident as he liked. “See you tomorrow then. Later.”
“Bye, idiot.”
Lea hung up and tossed his phone off the bed, forcing those unbidden thoughts out of his brain. It didn’t mean anything. He was only curious about Isa’s dating life because friends would tell each other if they were dating someone. That’s all it was.
But Lea could not deny the relief that Isa wasn’t interested in pretty little Noi. He couldn’t deny that, but he refused to examine it on a deeper level.
Instead, he picked up his phone again and sent Lumaria a text. Get on ME3 loser, lets kill some shit
His phone buzzed a minute later. Since you asked so nicely.
Nothing like killing a bunch of enemies in space with one of your best friends to help you ignore pressing crises.
--
The next few days progressed as usual, and Lea was all too happy to believe that nothing had changed or was off. He and Isa managed to talk and playfully bicker as always without any suggestive thoughts entering his head, so Lea figured the other day was all a fluke.
Lunch three days later proved Lea otherwise.
Generally, Lea spent his lunchtime with Ren and Lumaria, as he wanted to spend quality time with them too. Even though he had Isa, Lea still valued his oldest friends and wanted to keep that friendship alive. Ever since middle school, they had been known as the trio of troublemakers, causing havoc in classrooms and having the time of their rebellious lives. The fact that none of them was straight didn’t hurt either, taking solace in one another whenever one was bullied.
Despite their typical lunchtime routine, every once in a while, Isa would join them at their table. Today was one of those days. They were sitting outside, leaning against the side of the school as they idly talked amongst themselves.
“So, Lea tells me you’re applying for colleges,” Ren said, eyeing Isa as she ate another French fry. Isa gave a grunt in agreement, and Ren continued. “Going far away?”
Isa shrugged. “Maybe. Some of the places I applied to are far.”
Lumaria gave a delicate curl of his lips, a teasing sneer. “Oh, don’t do that. Lea will cry for days.”
“Weeks, even,” Ren agreed.
Undeterred by his friends’teasing, Lea leaned in toward Lumaria with a shit-eating grin splaying on his face in spite of himself. “Says the guy who clings to Ren like a security blanket.”
Lumaria responded with frown and a scoff as he tossed a grape at Lea’s head, which Lea artfully dodged. Lea turned to Isa, fully prepared to share in conspirator smiles and laughter as they usually did. But the smile on Lea’s face froze when he saw Isa, who turned his head a fraction, peering at Lea through locks of wind-tangled blue hair. A rare softness edged his eyes, a question on his face that he did not verbalize. Lea tried for a smile, tried to act like his heart did not pound hard at the sight of Isa looking at him with such intensity.
And just like that, Isa turned away. He placed a hand on Lea’s shoulder, and the touch felt like it could burn through Lea’s shirt. “I’ll be sure to bring a boat when I leave. Might have to sail through an ocean of tears.”
Lea laughed, and it sounded fake and hollow, even to him. Isa’s hand retreated slowly, and it took all of Lea’s self-control not to lean into him and chase that contact.
He could see Ren staring with a quirked brow, but Lea did not rise to the bait, simply went on about something dumb that happened in class in order to change the topic.
Lunch went on as usual, but Lea did not forget the pleasant tingle of Isa’s hand.
--
Ren cornered Lea at his locker once the school day ended. Lea closed his locker door and gave her a grin. “What’s up, sugar?”
“We need to talk,” she said, arms crossing over her chest.
Lea opened his mouth to respond, but a flash of blue caught his eye, turning his attention over Ren. Isa made his way down the hallway, already garbed in his cross-country clothes. And while Lea had seen Isa in this outfit hundreds of times before over the past year, Lea hadn’t really seen him: the way that fabric clung to his body just right, and the short cuts revealed ample skin and muscle as he walked. Usually, Isa had such a pale complexion, but training in the sun gave him a golden glow that made him look like some kind of fucking lean Adonis walking past mere mortals.
Lea’s mouth went dry.
He only snapped to when he heard a soft sound from Ren. He jerked back to her, and his heart sunk to his stomach when he saw the way she leaned in, eyes narrowed and a disbelieving smile curling on her face. It wasn’t a good sign.
“Oooh, Lea, you really do have it bad, don’t you?” she said, sounding far too pleased with herself. Lea scowled, crossing his arms as well.
“Have what bad?” he snapped. Ren just gave a sad sigh and shook her head.
“You poor fool. Well, when you’re ready to cross the river of denial, let me know.”
She walked away without another word, and really, Lea didn’t understand girls.
“Am I interrupting?”
The familiar voice made Lea jerk back again, only to face the amused face of Isa. Lea scrambled to stand straighter, his tongue swiping against his bottom lip.
“Nah, what’s up?” he asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.
Isa did that thing where he looked away, turning his head just enough to obscure part of his face with his hair. “Wanna come over tonight? It’s been a while since I kicked your ass at video games.”
And just like that, it was like old times; he brightened, grinning as the familiar comradery flowed between them. “Oh, it’s on. I hope you’re ready for a smack down.”
Isa snorted, giving Lea a light shove as he headed back down the hallway. “Keep dreaming.”
Lea laughed and walked off in the opposite direction, waving over his shoulder and feeling lighter than he had in some time. He and Isa were still friends, and that’s what mattered the most in the end.
--
Lea arrived at Isa’s around seven, and he waltzed about the two story house like he belonged there, and given how often he was there, he might as well; Isa’s parents did not even bat an eye when they saw Lea around, at this point.
They ate pizza and played video games for two hours, laughing and bickering with each other as usual.
“Told you I’d kick your ass,” Isa teased when they finished, and Lea just rolled his eyes.
“Whatever, dude. Next time, we’ll see how things go.”
With a roll of his eyes and taunting smirk, Isa sunk down further into the sofa cushions, their bodies close enough for their elbows to brush. Lea smiled a little at the contact, enjoying the closeness. But even so, a question buzzed around in Lea’s mind, had been bothering him for days like an angry hornet in his brain, and he bit his lips as he debated asking it.
“Isa?”
Isa did not turn, simply grunted, and Lea took that to mean that he could continue. He mustered his courage together, staring blankly at the TV, unable to face Isa.
“Do you think you really will go far away for college?”
Isa turned his head just a fraction, face blank. “Why? Will you miss me?”
Lea swallowed, his heart thudding in anxiety. That’s what it all came down to in the end, wasn’t it? There was a chance that Isa might move away, and Lea did not know how to handle that thought, especially when his affections toward Isa had been so topsy-turvy.
“Yeah, well, maybe I will,” he groused, arms crossing. He felt stupid and vulnerable admitting that, as he had the distinct feeling that Isa wouldn’t think twice about moving away and leaving Lea behind. Maybe Isa would make new friends and forget about his old life in Radiant Garden. Maybe he’d forget Lea. The thought made him sick.
“Forget it,” he said, wanting to move on from the topic all together as he slumped further down on the couch.
A hand on his leg broke him from his pity party, and he turned to look up at Isa through curious eyes. Isa stared at the floor like it held the meaning of life, but his hand had a firm grasp on Lea’s thigh, fingers digging in to Lea’s skin.
“Maybe I’d miss you too,” Isa said, his voice nothing more than a murmur.
Stunned, Lea gawked at Isa, waiting for the punch line to what was surely a joke. But when Isa removed his hand and sent a cautious glance Lea’s way, looking for a reaction, Lea had the distinct feeling that Isa was being honest. Lea swallowed hard again, feeling light-headed.
“Of course you would,” Lea joked. “Who else would put up with your grumpy ass?”
Isa closed his eyes with a snort, and Lea found himself grinning, feeling a little better than he did before. Maybe Isa would leave, but Lea’s glad to know that at least the sad feeling was mutual.
They spent the rest of the evening watching old episodes of Shark Week, sharing in the glory of 20 foot Great White Sharks breaching out of the ocean. Isa’s hand never wavered from its spot on Lea’s leg. It was a wonderful night.
--
The week rolled by, and come Monday, Lea and Ren skipped their afternoon Calculus class. They’re sitting toward the back end of the school, their backs pressed against the uncomfortable concrete walls. Isa, who also had the class with them, refused to skip. Ren rolled her eyes and said something about being too goody-good. Lumaria, who had English this period, had a test and couldn’t skip.
Lea was content to just sit with Ren, enjoying the nippy breeze and her easy company. She offered him a cigarette from her pocket, and he accepted it with a quiet thanks, using his own lighter to light it and take a deep drag. Smoke curled in plumes past his lips as he leaned his lanky frame against Ren, who leaned back and rested her head on his shoulder. Her weight was comfortable and familiar, and right now, he was happy for it. When he looked down at her, her green eyes met his, all wicked and inviting. Lea couldn’t help but to smile.
At one point, Lea thought he could have loved her, the short, blonde spitfire who was quick with her tongue and quicker with her fists. Two years ago, he and Ren fucked in the backseat of her older brother’s car. It had been quick and dirty, and while not unpleasant, Lea didn’t feel right about it. Ren didn’t care, just shrugged and they went back to just being friends as simply as that. Sometimes he thought that she and Lumaria had become friends with benefits when the other did not have significant other, but he never asked. He could do without the mental image.
“Don’t tell Isa about this,” he said after taking another drag. “He’ll skin me alive.”
Ren snorted. “Like he won’t smell it on you.”
Lea frowned. Damn. He stubbed out the cigarette without a second thought.
“Hey! Waste of a good smoke!” Ren said, pulling back from Lea with a scowl. “You could have at least given it to me.”
“I’ll buy you another pack, honey,” he said, trying to placate her. An angry Ren was not a good Ren.
Her lips pressed together for a moment, those pretty eyes narrowing. “Why do you care so much about what he thinks, anyway?”
“Uh, ‘cause he’s my friend?”
“You don’t care what Lu and I think about you.”
“Of course I do, Ren. Geez, you know I love you both, right?”
“Not like that,” Ren said, and Lea could have sworn that she sounded quieter, cautious. He sent her a puzzled glance. She did not look sad or regretful, merely curious. He’d rather she be sad. Ren would stop at nothing to learn something once she got her mind to it.
“Lea,” she started slowly, and Lea looked back at her, her face having gone unusually serious. “Have you ever stopped to wonder why you make exceptions for him all the time?”
He could feel himself becoming defensive against his will, bristling and ready for an argument. Despite the nearly palpable rising tension, Ren pressed on.
“Don’t play dumb. I’ve seen you checking him out,” she said before leaning in, peering up at him from her lashes with a sultry little smile. “Between you and me? I’ve seen him looking back at you, too.”
The world came to a pause. It must have, for Lea swore he felt his heart stop for a moment as his entire being focused on that sentence. All this time that Lea had been watching Isa, had Isa been watching him too? Honestly, Lea doubted that. There was no way, no way, that Isa could ever see Lea in a more-than-friends way.
Ren leaned back with a sharp, quick cackle. “Don’t even pretend you’re suddenly straight, either. I know about what happened between you and Dem in the movie theater this past summer.”
“That was one time,” Lea groaned, but no, he did not deny the base of her claim. It was more or less a known fact amongst his friends, Isa included, that Lea swung both ways. However, he only had one experience with a guy, which had been a hasty affair in the back of a movie theater. Not Lea’s proudest moment.
With a shrug, Ren leaned back against the wall, her point proven. “I’m just saying. Next time you get mad seeing him with a girl or depressed that he might go away for college, think about why you really feel that way.”
“Thanks, Doctor Phil,” Lea said, nudging his shoulder hard against hers.
“Who knows, if you don’t wanna take a go at him, maybe I will,” she teased.
Lea made a face. “Like you’d ever. Besides, aren’t you and Lumaria….doing whatever on the side?”
The smile she gave him was positively cheeky and mischievous. “You jealous?”
“Ohhhh God, I really didn’t need that image,” Lea groaned, dropping his head to his drawn-up knees.
Ren pat his back in sympathy. “He’s quite good. I could probably talk him into a threesome, if you wanna see for yourself.”
“Please stop talking.”
--
As much as he played off Ren’s words at the time, Lea gave them serious thought over the next few days. He figured that there were plenty logical reasons for him reacting the way that he had lately. After all, it was normal to be upset that your friend might leave or that he might be dating someone without telling you beforehand, right? It made sense. But as desperate as he was to believe that train of thought and deny any other alternative, a creeping feeling of doubt crawled through his veins, whispering that he was wrong.
And so Lea watched Isa, stealing glances at him during classes when he wasn’t looking, to try to make sense of everything. He saw the little things about Isa that he liked so much: how smart he was, the way that he frowned when he didn’t understand something and little crinkles formed near his eyes, the way that he would always smile back when Lea looked at him, just a little lifting of his lips that warmed Lea like nothing else could.
He saw his best friend. He saw his best friend who meant the world to him, perhaps more than he had ever considered. Because that stirring feeling in his gut when he saw Isa look at him wasn’t just simple happiness at having a best friend, was it? Best friends did not get butterflies in their stomach and have their heart rate increase when seeing the other smile.
But why now? What had changed these past few weeks to make him feel this way and realize its potential implications?
Lea did not have an answer until later one afternoon when Isa brought up college again.
“If I go away, it’s not like I won’t visit. And we can still call and Skype,” Isa said as they walked down the hallway after school let out. Most of the hallways had emptied, but neither was in a hurry.
“Yeah, but it’s not the same,” Lea griped, rolling his shoulders to adjust his backpack.
“Well, you’ll have Ren and Lumaria still. You might not even miss me that much,” Isa said, and though he had a slight smile on his face, Lea could hear the hollow undertones, see how forced his expression remained.
“Of course I will! Isa, you’re-“ Lea’s words cut off, flustered and at a loss. Isa glanced his way, peering at him with a curious furrow of his brow. Lea could feel his face flush, and he lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck as he tried to find the right words.
There’s so many words that could fit in the slot. You’re my best friend, you’re my world, my everything.
It’s then that he realized why he felt so torn up these past few weeks. He faced the very real possibility that he could lose Isa, and as he tried to cope with that thought, he had to face certain feelings he kept locked inside of himself for so many years.
Lea sighed, knowing there was no way to say this without sounding like an idiot. “You mean a lot to me, okay? I can’t forget you.”
Isa fell quiet, the sound of their footsteps echoing down the empty hallways. When he finally spoke, his words were quiet and subdued, “Couldn’t forget you either. Not even if I tried, which sometimes I do.”
When Lea glanced back to Isa, he could have sworn he saw his face flushed. Perhaps just a trick of the light. So he grinned and elbowed Isa, trying to get away from the serious talk. “Well, that’s still a while yet. It’s only fall, so let’s not worry about it. Hey, did you know that Ren and Lumaria are like…fucking on the side? Friends with benefits kind of deal?”
Isa laughed, a sweet sound only for Lea’s ears, and it made his heart beat faster. “You’re just now figuring that out?”
Lea stopped in the middle of the hallway, jaw dropped. “What? How did you know that?”
With a sigh, Isa came to a pause in front of Lea, close enough for Lea to see every detail of those pretty eyes and feel the warmth of Isa’s breath against his cheeks. Lea swallowed hard; Isa just smiled a little with a shake of his head.
“Sometimes you don’t notice things that are right in front of you,” Isa murmured.
Lea just gawked, mouth open like a fish as he tried to wrap his head around those words. But just like that, Isa laughed and turned away. “Come on, we’re going to miss the bus.”
Lea watched Isa’s form retreat down the hallway, his pace picking up. With a frown, he hurried after his friend. “Wait up!”
They ran down the hallway and the stairs, their laughter filling the air.
--
Two days later, Lea’s falling asleep in Government class when his phone buzzed from a text. Isa. Want to come over tonight? There’s a black hole documentary on Discovery, and I know how much you love black holes.
Lea grinned and slunk down into his seat so he could type a reply under his desk. hell yeah I’m in!! meet u @ the track court after practice, k?
Ren and Lumaria, who sat next to and diagonally from Lea, caught wind of Lea’s stupidly happy grin and just rolled their eyes.
Isa’s reply arrived just a moment later. See you then.
On some occasions, Lea liked to watch Isa’s cross-country practices and training. It wasn’t really the most interesting thing, to be honest, but he liked to show support for his friend from time to time. So when the day came to an end and practice started, Lea found himself sitting on the bleachers, watching Isa and the other runners do their warm-up stretches. And whoa, okay, Isa appeared to be quite flexible. That should not interest Lea nearly as much as it did.
When the athletes began their first round of running, Lea found himself entranced by Isa’s running form. Lea studied each movement of Isa’s legs, the way his feet pressed onto the ground over and over again, the glistening sweat that formed on his forearms and forehead. There was no doubt in Lea’s mind that Isa was beautiful in general, and even more beautiful in motion.
He snapped to when the runners slowed down for a break. Lea could see Isa lift his head toward the bleachers and give Lea a quick wave. Lea’s heart pounded as he managed to lift a hand in a weak wave back. Even from this distance, he could see Isa’s small smile. Warmth spread throughout Lea’s body, and he knew he was doomed.
Ren had been right. He couldn’t deny it anymore. He had fallen for Isa, and he had fallen bad.
--
Once practiced ended, they caught a ride to Isa’s place from one of the other cross-country members. When they arrived, Isa waved Lea to the living room as he headed the other way. “I’m going to shower.”
Lea nodded, even though Isa could not see it. He heard the door shut behind him, though he did not bother to lock it. And he shouldn’t think about it, he really shouldn’t, but hearing the sound of the water triggered thoughts of Isa naked in the shower, and how easy it would be to slip in there with him, pressing their bodies together –
He shook his head and flopped on the sofa. Nope. Couldn’t have those thoughts.
Ten minutes later, Isa arrived with a fresh outfit and damp hair, and Lea couldn’t help but to stare a little at the disheveled look for a moment. But once Isa turned his way, Lea turned away, grabbing the remote and turning the Discovery channel on instead.
“C’mon, let’s get freaked out by space,” Lea said, and Isa just laughed as he sat beside him.
The next hour went by in a flash, Lea enveloped in the terrifying beauty of black holes. Even so, he remained aware of how close Isa sat next to him, like if they just shifted a few inches, their arms would touch. Lea remained firmly still throughout the show.
When it ended, Lea leaned back into the seat, lifting his arms in a long stretch. “Dude, black holes are awesome. I wanna see one.”
Isa gave him a look. “I’m not even going to start with how ridiculous that statement is, Lea.”
Lea stuck his tongue out in retaliation. “Your face is ridiculous.”
“Wow, ridiculous and unoriginal,” Isa teased, a grin forming on his lips. Lea countered it with one of his own.
“Oh, you’re going down,” Lea said, leaping forward to tackle Isa, who met him head on in a grappling hold.
They wrestled on the couch just like they always did, pulling on limbs and clothes and hair, each trying to get an upper hand on the other as they laughed all the way through it. Neither made a move to really hurt one another; they generally tussled until one came out on top. Isa usually won, having being stronger than Lea since he started working out, but Lea gave as good as he got.
With one quick flip, Isa landed on his back on the couch with Lea straddling his waist, their faces only inches away from another. This was usually the part where Lea crowed out victory, but he found himself unable to blink away from Isa’s widened eyes, a flush creeping on his face as he sucked in a deep breath. Lea knew he should move before this got really awkward, but he was addicted to the feel of Isa’s body below his, the way that Isa stared up at him in equal parts surprise and anticipation.
Isa felt good below him. Too good. All of Lea’s blood ran south, and there was no way that Isa couldn’t feel his hardening cock, and oh God, he ruined everything.
Lea sprang off of Isa like he had been electrocuted. “I gotta go.”
He hurried out of the living room, ignoring the sound of Isa’s protest as he closed the front door behind him.
--
The weekend arrived, and Lea refused to answer any of Isa’s phone calls. He didn’t even reply to Ren and Lumaria’s texts about hanging out, preferring to wallow in his own depression for the remainder of the weekend. And when Monday rolled around, Lea made a point of ignoring Isa as much as possible. Of course, this was no easy feat considering they shared so many classes, but Lea kept his head down and hurried from class to class, not giving Isa a chance to catch up to him. Lea darted about so often that he never saw Isa’s anxious, pained face every time Lea ran away.
Evading Rena and Lumaria proved to be an even greater challenge, as they spammed his phone with texts: what the fuck is your problem? talk to me, asshole.
You can’t run from us forever, Lea.
Lea deleted the texts and tried to ignore how the two glared daggers at his back during class. When he caught Ren’s angry gaze, he simply shook his head and went back to staring at the white board without focusing on the words. He was being childish and he knew it, but he couldn’t face Ren and Luamria, and especially not Isa, not when he knew that he probably screwed up their friendship for good. Lea wanted to go back in time and change that moment. That, or sink into a hole and die. Either worked.
He managed to elude his friends and their inevitable interrogation up until the last class of the day. Already late to class, Lea took his sweet time walking down the hallway, figuring that there was no point in rushing when he was already late. He whistled quietly to himself as he loped down the hall, a few other late students scrambling past him in a mad dash to get to class. Lea rolled his eyes. Some kids took attendance policies too seriously for their own good.
Just as he passed by the restrooms near his classroom, the door to the Mens’ room opened and an arm grabbed ahold of his forearm, yanking Lea into the restroom with a yelp. Lea squared his shoulders, ready to defend himself from what he could only assume was some punk kid wanting to beat his queer ass, but when he saw the angry blue eyes of Lumaria glaring at him, Lea froze with his back against the restroom wall.
“Mind explaining why you’re treating Isa, and more importantly, Ren and me, like we have the plague?” Lumaria asked, his voice cool and calm, gaze ice. Lea sighed and hunched in place in defeat.
“Look, it’s nothing personal. I just need some space right now,” Lea said, and it sounded lame, even to him. Judging by the way that Lumaria stepped closer with a scowl on his face, Lea assumed that Lumaria felt the same.
“What happened, Lea?” Lumaria demanded, arms crossing over his chest. Jesus, the man was just as determined and stubborn as Ren, no wonder they got along so well.
“I kind of screwed up this weekend, okay? Let’s just leave it at that,” Lea snapped, even though he knew full well that Lumaria wouldn’t that take for an answer.
“Screwed up how?”
Lea turned his head to the side, staring at the peeling paint as if it was the most interest thing he’d seen in weeks. “With Isa.”
“I’ll repeat myself. Screwed up how?”
Lea thunked his head against the wall of the bathroom, an exasperated growl building in his throat as he body tensed. “I kinda made it obvious that I like him, okay?”
When Lumaria said nothing to that, Lea turned his head just enough to get a glimpse of his friend. Lumaria’s eyes were still narrowed, but the anger dissipated from his expression, replaced with confusion. “I’m not seeing the problem here. Unless he rejected you, but like hell he’d do that.”
Now it was Lea’s turn to be confused. He turned fully to face Lumaria, glaring at him in disbelief. “What are you talking about?”
Lumaria sighed, his eyes closing as he tilted his head back in vexation. “Lea, you can’t tell me that you think your little crush, which is totally obvious, by the way, is one-sided. You can’t be that dense.”
When Lea did nothing but gawk, Lumaria sighed and opened his eyes. “Whatever you did, you didn’t wait for Isa’s response, did you?”
Lea had the decency to look sheepish. “Um… No?”
Shaking his head, Lumaria hit Lea on the arm, leaving the redhead whining from the stinging contact. “Go talk to him, idiot. He’s all bent out of shape about you ignoring him. And I, for one, am tired of watching you two love-struck idiots dancing around each other.”
The words made his head spin; the very thought that maybe Isa really did reciprocate his feelings seemed to be too good to be true. Idly rubbing his sore arm, Lea gave a sharp exhale and slight nod of his head. “Okay. Okay,” he repeated, gaining courage. “Thanks Lu.”
Lumaria just gave a cocky little smile and a sniff. “You should be thankful. I’m missing out on my anatomy class right now to knock some sense into you.”
Lea made a face. Lumaria’s crush on his weird science teacher was a little too much for Lea to handle. “Lumaria, I love you, but you have problems.”
With a wink, Lumaria swaggered out of the bathroom without another word, leaving Lea behind to take in everything that just transpired.
Even though he dreaded the possible negative outcome, he knew that Lumaria was right and that he needed to talk to Isa. It would be awkward and painful, but he owed his best friend that much. Besides, Lumaria’s words haunted the back of his mind, whispering the possibility that maybe Isa liked him too.
A nervous smile touched his lips as he burst through the restroom door, nearly knocking out some poor kid in the process.
--
Lea anxiously waited for Isa to finish showering from cross-country practice later on that evening. He waited outside the gym locker room, tapping a nervous beat against the wall, nearly jumping out of his skin every time someone left the room. He shot them a slinky grin and catty wave of his hand as they sneered and prowled off. Lea did not care. It was not them that he was waiting for.
When Isa finally did exit, Lea scrambled forward. “Isa,” he said, sounding way less confident than he intended.
Isa turned and leveled a heavy stare on his friend, solemn face betraying no emotion as he paused. Lea offered him a nervous smile. “Can we talk?”
The stare turned into a scowl. “Are you done ignoring me?”
Crestfallen, Lea rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry. Can we go somewhere more private?”
When Isa did nothing but continue to glare, Lea had the sick feeling that he would be denied a chance to make amends. But at last, Isa turned away with a quiet grunt of ‘fine’. He turned toward one of the other mens’ locker rooms, entering it without a word. Lea followed after him, and his nose crinkled at the smell of sweat and gym clothes, but he figured he couldn’t be picky. It was deserted, and that’s all he could ask for.
Isa turned back around to face Lea, but his eyes were off to the side, staring at the lockers. “So, talk.”
Lea had been reciting the words in his head since his confrontation with Lumaria, but now that he was faced with Isa, his beautiful, best friend, the words slipped away. He struggled to speak, gazing at Isa with ferocity as if he could convey all that he wanted to say with just his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he said again. The apology had Isa turning to look at Lea, eyes searching Lea’s face. It wasn’t often that Lea apologized so blatantly, after all. Encouraged by the reaction, Lea pressed on. “I shouldn’t have run out on you like that, and I shouldn’t have ignored you.”
“You shouldn’t have,” Isa agreed, his voice a quiet rumble.
Lea took a few steps closer as if afraid that Isa would dart off at any moment. “I just. I just didn’t know how you would react to…”
Isa took a step closer as well, and Lea realized how close they were, able to smell the soap on Isa’s skin. “To what?” Isa murmured.
Lea bit his lip, wanting so hard to deny the truth, to keep it buried down in the depths of his shame so he could at least pretend to resume a normal relationship with Isa. But the truth had been hidden for far too long, and it spilled past his lips without him meaning it to, “Me liking you. In that way.”
That was it. He said it. Lea braced himself from an incoming flood of anger or disgust, but when he dared to look up at Isa’s eyes, he only saw slight surprise, which soon colored into fond annoyance.
“You idiot,” Isa said. “If you paid attention for once, you’d know I wouldn’t be mad at you for that.”
Lea’s heart skipped a beat or ten. A small, disbelieving smile wove on his lips as he gave a nervous laugh. “No?”
Isa’s small smile matched his own. “No.”
Another laugh broke free from Lea, breathless and ecstatic, and he leaned into Isa, reaching out to bury his hands in that soft, silky blue hair so he could draw their face together. Finally, finally, their lips met in a kiss, soft and chaste at first as they tested the waters between them. But once they began to pull back, Lea leaned in again, capturing Isa’s mouth in a bruising, hungry kiss that left Isa sighing softly against Lea’s mouth, his arms entwining around his friend.
They kissed like they’d die without it, Isa drawing in Lea’s bottom lip into his mouth with a gentle bite, leaving Lea shuddering with a satisfied purr. Lea met no resistance when he pressed his tongue into Isa’s mouth to tangle with his, and Isa gave as good as he got, pressing closer with his fingers digging into Lea’s back in a desperate cling.
When they drew back for breath, Lea lowered one of his hands to cup Isa’s cheek, thumb running along the red flush of Isa’s skin. “I think I loved you when I first saw you,” Lea said, stealing another quick kiss. “That time in history.”
Isa rolled his eyes. “Idiot,” he said, but Lea knew Isa meant ‘I know’, and he could taste the affection on Isa’s lips when they kissed again and again, the rest of the world be damned.
They broke apart with flushes on their cheeks and nervous laughter on their kiss-swollen lips. Lea extended a hand to Isa, who accepted it with a coy smile.
“C’mon, let’s get out of here,” Lea said.
--
Lea curled against Isa on the bus ride to school the next morning, content to rest his head on Isa’s shoulder as their pinky fingers twined together. The familiar rumble of the bus and the warmth of his now boyfriend lulled Lea into a content doze, still riding the highs of what transpired last night. If it weren’t for the very real feel of Isa against him, Lea would have thought that it had all been a dream: kissing Isa, them catching a bus together and kissing each other stupid on the front step of Isa’s doorstep.
“So, you’re my boyfriend now, right?” Lea asked with a grin. Isa gave a slight snort.
“Yeah.”
Lea’s grin widened at the edges. “Just ‘cause we’re dating doesn’t mean I’m going to go easy on you during video games.”
Isa laughed, sending Lea a skeptical look. “Like I need you to go easy on me to beat you.”
Wrinkling his nose, Lea lightly punched Isa’s shoulder. “Jerk.”
It was Isa’s turn to smile as he leaned in to give Lea a goodnight kiss. At least some things did not change.
A familiar voice broke Lea from the pleasant memory.
“Oh God, it happened.”
Lea blinked up to see Lumaria smirking down at him, with Ren rolling her eyes.
“Told you it would. You owe me ten bucks,” Lumaria said as he sat down a few rows behind them. Ren gave an overdramatic sigh as she fished out her wallet.
Lea floundered up on his seat and turned around in time to see Ren flop down beside Lumaria, who grinned like the cat who got the cream. “Did you take bets on us?”
“Sure did,” Lumaria chirped as he pocketed his money.
With a groan, Lea sunk into his seat, wondering how this was even if his life. Isa laughed, the jerk, leaning down to kiss the frown off Lea’s face.
Well, maybe his life wasn’t so bad.
You started to see right through me,
And I'm loving every minute of it,
It's like I'm born again every time I breathe in so,
If you're curious my favorite color's blue,
And I like to sing in the shower,
If you like I'll sing to you