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There's blood everywhere.
A roiling wave of fear fills his chest, expanding like a balloon.
Is this Kento's blood? Is he okay?
Yu presses a hand to his stomach and recoils in pain—no, not just pain, agony.
It's his blood, then. Crimson paints his hands and abdomen. His body pumps adrenaline into his veins, warping and distorting the pain into something bearable for a short time. Then it hits him all at once, like a tsunami crashing over an unsuspecting city. Something is seriously wrong, something that shouldn't have been damaged is broken beyond repair.
He’s torn wide open, he realizes. Blood pours from a gaping wound across his mid-section. An ocean of red stains his clothes like flowing dye seeping into the fabric—further proof that something terrible has happened.
What happened? He… can't remember. His vision swims, his head aches, he looks for Kento—he’s supposed to be here with him, isn't he?—but he's nowhere to be seen through the blur of tears and blood.
He's going to die, there's no doubt; there's no coming back from this. He's nearly bisected. He can't see it but he feels his organs—damaged as they are—spilling from the gash in his body.
“Please,” He whimpers, trying to will his voice to call for help, to call for Kento.
The words die in his throat.
His lungs feel too full, yet he's devoid of oxygen, like viscera and gore is filling his airways—suffocating him slowly.
“Please,” He chokes on the word, it tastes metallic and foreign.
Kento, he thinks, please don't let me die.
He wouldn't, he knows he wouldn't. Kento will protect him, surely.
His eyelids grow heavy, he doesn't fight it as they slip closed and the darkness grows to surround him, to coax him into succumbing to death.
Kento will protect him, he can let go for now.
“Yu!” A voice calls to him—it’s a familiar voice, but over the sound of rushing blood in his ears, it's muffled and warbled.
“Yu!” The voice shouts again, thick with terror and panic.
“Yu, wake up.”
Ah, it's Kento. His voice is clear now, cutting through the fog and echoing in his skull. His lids are leaden, he can't find the energy to pry them open, even with the promise of seeing Kento one more time.
“Yu!”
Yu wakes with a jolt, clutching his stomach, trying to hold his wounded torso together; Kento's hands are on him, holding him steady against the bed, his brows pulled together with concern.
He cranes his neck down, finding the devastation to his body has disappeared. The entrails and the once endless gush of blood is gone.
He eases back against his pillow, his heart still thumping wildly in his chest.
“Kento,” He breathes the name so quietly, he almost doesn't hear it himself, yet still, it's a comfort on his lips.
“Was it the same dream?” Kento asks, gently. He doesn't really need to ask, he already knows the answer; it's always the same.
Yu nods, words failing to form.
“It’s alright now, you're safe.” He brushes Yu's bangs away from his sweaty forehead and presses a kiss there. His other hand still holds Yu's shoulder, grounding him.
“I was scared,” Yu confesses. It sounds childish and meek. “I was really scared,” He repeats, his bottom lip wobbling involuntarily. He doesn't want to cry, he's cried more than enough over this. Even so, he can't fight the tears springing up along his waterline and stinging his eyes.
“I know,” Kento says, petting his hair and combing through tangles with his fingers.
“You protected me.”
Kento only nods.
Yu knows he doesn't want to say “yes, I did”, he won't ever claim the victory of Yu's survival even if he very much was the reason he lived. Kento holds his own heavy burdens that came to existence from that day, he carries guilt like no other. Even with Yu breathing and full of life before him, he feels guilty for letting it happen in the first place.
“I’ll always protect you,” Kento promises, “Always.”
That's it, that's all it takes for the tears welling up in his eyes to finally spill over onto his cheeks. He attempts to blink them away, but it's really no use.
“It's alright, everything is going to be okay.” Kento's unwavering voice is a salve to the phantom pain Yu feels, his soothing tone and easy words healing him all over again. He wipes the tears from Yu's face, gentle and methodical.
“I’m okay.” Yu's voice comes out watery, lacking full confidence. Despite that, he believes it, he knows it's the truth, “I’m okay.” He sniffles and repeats it, perhaps to further convince himself, or maybe it's for Kento's sake.
“Do you need anything?”
Yu's heart clenches; Kento is so considerate, so patient. It would be so easy for anyone to get tired of this same old routine, but Kento’s love is resolute, unshaken by trials and tribulations of being with someone so broken.
Eventually, he shakes his head and reaches for Kento's shoulders. “Just you,” He murmurs.
Kento goes easily, laying beside his partner, pulling him in to drape across his warm chest. Yu tucks his face into the crook of Kento's neck, swinging a leg over his and finally settling entirely. He's lax in Kento's arms, safe and sound, without a concern in the world for tomorrow or yesterday.
“Love you.” It's mumbled against Kento's skin, tickling slightly.
Kento traces the length of Yu's spine, delicately pressing against each vertebrae, massaging with his fingertips.
“I love you, too.”
He doesn't have to say it for Yu to know it's true; he shows it in his actions and in the way he holds their relationship with such deep reverence, but it sure is nice to hear it anyway.
They fall into a pleasant quiet, the only sound being the soft hum of the white noise machine—something Yu has learned he cannot sleep without, that and Kento beside him; he’s lost sleep on multiple out of town missions because he didn't have the comforting warmth of the other man.
He snuggles impossibly closer, wishing he could fuse with Kento. If they became one, the sometimes hollow feeling he gets in his scarred stomach would surely disappear.
He drifts back into a restful, dreamless sleep, without any other interruptions throughout the night.
The next morning, Yu rises with the sun, blinking open his bleary eyes to find Kento already awake, watching him with such unconditional adoration in his gaze. He can't help but smile, bright and charming, because that's what comes naturally to him. Beaming with joy and optimism, that's Yu's normal state of being.
“Good morning,” Kento says, unhurried.
“Morning,” He muffles a yawn against his palm and stretches his limbs out like a cat. “Sleep well?” He asks as he curls into Kento's side.
“I did, and you?” He replies, petting Yu's hair.
“Yeah, fine, all things considered.” He leans into Kento's touch, “So, what’d I do to earn such a treat?”
“Treat?” Kento asks.
Usually, by now, Kento would be rushing to get out of bed and start the day, regardless of how Yu always complains it's too early to be up and moving. Kento is a punctual man, with a schedule he rarely differentiates from, so his current languid demeanor is strange, though not unwelcome.
“You haven't gotten up yet,” He clarifies.
Kento smiles, “Ah, well, we don't have any plans.”
“Uh-huh…”
“So, why don't we stay in bed for a while longer?”
Yu blinks, once, then twice, and props himself up on his elbow to narrow his eyes more directly at Kento.
“Who are you and what have you done with my husband?” He asks suspiciously.
Kento huffs a laugh, smiling fondly, “Unless you'd rather I get up now?”
Yu shakes his head, swiftly wrapping an arm and leg around him, effectively restraining him, “Nope, you're not going anywhere.”
“If you insist,” Kento says, as if it wasn't his suggestion in the first place. “Just relax then.”
Yu happily does, nosing at Kento's jaw as he says, “Mmm, Ken, I’m getting all giddy. You never let me cuddle you in the morning.”
"Nonsense, you cling to me while I make breakfast nearly every day."
"That doesn't count," Yu shoots back, "That's just hugging, you have to lay down to cuddle."
"Oh, forgive me, I didn't know there were such strict rules for affection."
"Mm, you're forgiven," He replies, settling into Kento's side, face pressed close to his neck.
They lay there for a while, heartbeats and breathing syncing up, as close as they can be without absorbing one another. Kento toys with the grown out strands of hair at Yu's nape, “Your hair is getting long.”
He hums, acknowledging, “Should I let it grow out?”
“Is that what you want?”
Yu pauses and nuzzles closer, “Not really. But there's never time to get it touched up.”
“I could cut it for you. We have trimmers.”
"Mm, later," Yu murmurs as he presses a kiss to Kento's neck. Then another, and another.
"Yu." Kento's voice is a gentle warning, "Nothing like that."
Yu's pouts against his throat, "Why not?" Another kiss, then he says, "I know you stayed in bed for a reason."
“Yes, well, I wanted to ask you about something,” Kento admits, hand rubbing soothing circles on Yu's back, “I thought you might not feel so uneasy if we talked about it like this.”
“You and your ulterior motives,” Yu says grumpily as he pulls away to meet his eyes.
“Guilty.”
“Well, ask away then.”
Kento's hand stills for a moment, “Have you mentioned the nightmares to Ieiri?”
Yu inhales slowly, then exhales in a deep sigh. “Yeah. She offered to prescribe me some sleeping pills, but I told her I didn't want them.”
“Why not?”
He shrugs, “Didn't wanna rely on them.”
Kento lets out a sigh of his own, less weary and more sympathetic, "I understand, but it might be a good idea to give it a try."
Yu's expression falls, the little devil on his shoulder whispering in his ear, reminding him of all his shortcomings. "I'm sorry, Kento…" He says, "I'll call Shoko today, okay? I'll take the pills."
Kento frowns, but before he can even speak his mind, Yu adds on, “It's difficult being with me sometimes, isn't it? I'm sorry.”
Kento doesn't let that train of thinking go any further, “Yu, being with you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”
Yu takes a while to say anything more and Kento can already anticipate what kind of reply he's going to get. It's rare, but this sometimes happens. After particularly hard nights, Yu slips into a brief episode of pessimism.
"Don't I hold you back a lot though?" He finally asks, evading Kento's eyes.
"From what?" Kento asks, grabbing Yu's chin to force eye contact, “There is nowhere I’d want to go and nothing I'd want to do without you by my side.”
"Really?"
"Yes." There isn't a shred of doubt in his voice, "I love you, and there's isn't anything that will change that. You haven't forgotten about the promise I made, have you?"
"What promise…?"
"When I married you, I vowed to love you always, even through the hardships," He reminds, "Especially through the hardships." That earns him a little smile and he instantly feels relief.
"I didn't forget," Yu says, "I'd never forget that one."
"Good." Kento smiles as well, wrapping up his husband tightly in his arms, giving him a good squeeze and holding him close. "All I want is what's best for you, I don't want to force you into anything you don't want to do. If you don't want to take medication, then don't. Either way I'll be right here."
"Promise?"
"Yes, I promise."
Yu cranes his head up from where he's hugged to Kento's chest, "Kiss?" And Kento obliges, meeting him with a soft, chaste kiss. When they part, Yu breaks out into a big, dopey grin.
"That's what I like to see," Kento says, bringing a hand up to pinch his partner's cheek. "Are you getting hungry yet? How about I make breakfast?"
Yu nods eagerly.
"Alright," Kento says, but makes no effort to move, "Just… five more minutes."