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He was afraid.
He couldn't remember how long he'd been here, but the fear had become part of him now. The shame, too. Neither would ever leave.
His lord had put him to work in the kitchens with the women. They mostly ignored him. Sometimes there were cruel japes, cold stares or laughter when he stumbled, but he could endure that. After Ramsay's blade, everything else fell short. They hated him, and he knew it. He kept out of their way as best he could. If even a single complaint reached Ramsay, he might lose another finger or toe - and he had so few left. A small part of him still hated the way they looked at him, the way they laughed whenever he dropped a pot or slipped on the wet stone floor. But there was no fight left in him. Ramsay had flayed that out of him long ago.
Reek was good. Reek did not argue.
---
The first time he noticed the doll lying forgotten in the corner of the kitchens, he ignored it. But every day it was still there. It looked so soft and so comforting. Things Reek had not known for a very long time. It seemed to watch him during the endless hours he spent scrubbing pots and hauling water. No one else paid it any attention.
Surely there could be no harm in taking it? she was lonely too, he thought.
There would be consequences if he were caught. He had been flayed for less.
But he was so alone. The loneliness sat inside his chest like a stone and all he wanted was one small comfort in this cold place. If he hid it well enough, it could be his. No one would ever know.
The thought terrified him but the thought of another freezing night alone in the kennels terrified him even more.
So he took the doll.
He tucked it beneath his ragged tunic, pressed tightly against his ribs.
---
That night he was escorted back to the kennels. The cell door slammed shut behind him but wasn't locked.
Theon Greyjoy had fallen for that trick once. Reek did not wish to think of it.
Once the footsteps faded, he carefully pulled the doll from beneath his clothes. A bolt of terror shot through him.
If they find this... he'll flay me. He'll let his boys have me. The thought circled endlessly through his mind, but when he held the doll against him For the first time in that rotten little cell, he felt warmth. He held her tighter, lifted one of her cloth hands to his cheek, and let himself imagine she was comforting him.
He named her Yara. He didn't know why. The name surfaced from somewhere deep inside him, from a memory too distant to grasp. He whispered it to himself at night as he drifted to sleep.
Over the following weeks he hid her beneath the hay in his cage only taking her out when he was certain no one would come.
He cried with her.
She held him while he wept.
She told him everything would be all right.
He worked every waking hour. When he wasn't in the kitchens, he was serving his master or entertaining Ramsay's boys. Everything hurt and she made it hurt a little less.
---
That night he limped back to his cell, He had spilled wine during dinner, and his master had made him pay for it.
Bruised and shaking, he collapsed onto the damp straw and clutched Yara against his chest.
He fell asleep holding her.
---
"Get up. Lord Ramsay has need of you."
Reek jolted awake as Skinner slammed the bars of his cage with his boot.
He instinctively pulled Yara closer.
"Y-yes..."
He tried to hide her, but Skinner's cold grey eyes had already found the doll.
"What's that, little Reek?" Skinner grinned. "You hiding something from me?"
The smile made Reek's stomach twist.
He had been caught.
"P-please... I'm sorry. Please... I'm so, so sorry."
The words dissolved into sobs. He knew he should stand but he couldn't, his body had frozen.
He'll flay me They'll whip me. Beat me. Skin me alive. The thoughts crashed through his mind until all he could do was whimper.
"Don't be pathetic, Reek."
Skinner slammed his steel-capped boot against the bars.
"Get out here now. Or shall I tell Lord Bolton you're refusing his orders as well?"
Too frightened to answer, Reek forced himself onto trembling legs and stumbled out of the cage. Yara remained on the straw behind him and Skinner looked inside.
"What the fuck is that?" He bent down, picked up the doll, and stared at it, He burst into laughter "Are you fucking serious?"
Reek shrank into himself - eyes fixed on the floor. Through his sobs he managed a "P-please..."
"Please what, Reek?" Skinner sneered. "Please don't take your fucking doll?"
He laughed even harder. The sound echoed through the kennels until the hounds began barking with him.
Reek felt sick all he wanted to do was drop to his knees and beg, beg Skinner to let him keep her, beg him not to tell Lord Ramsay. He would do anything, Anything at all. But there was nothing he could do she had been found because of his own stupidity.
---
Skinner gripped Reek by the collar and dragged him across the courtyard, Yara hanging mockingly from his belt. Reek stumbled after him, falling over his own feet. Servants stopped to stare, some laughed openly, others looked away, one or two wore something that almost resembled pity.
Skinner hauled him into the Great Hall. Ramsay sat at the high table surrounded by his men, all drinking and laughing and along the side of the hall sat Sansa and her ladies.
He had not spoken to Sansa since she'd arrived. Only exchanged glances. She hated him.
Skinner threw Reek to the floor and untied the doll from his belt and drops it next to him. Reek stumbles catching himself on his trembling hands before collapsing onto the cold stone floor.
Laughter broke out in the hall
"My lord," he called with a broad grin, stooping to pick it up again. "I found Reek hiding something."
Ramsay looked up from his cup, annoyance flickered on his face “What is it Skinner?”
“I found Reek hiding this” He presented the doll like a prize. The Hall fell strangely silent while Ransey sat back in his chair
“a doll?”
Skinner held it up further “our reeks been keeping it in his cage” a few of Ramseys boys snorted into their cups. Then one burst into laughter, another followed and within moments the table roared.
“my, my, Reeky” Ramsay said breaking into an amused smile “Have you grown lonely of late?”
Reek kept his forehead pressed onto the floor “I’m so sor-“
“I didn’t ask if you were sorry” Ramsay interrupted – unsettlingly calm, almost gentle.
“Look at me Reek”
Every muscle in reeks body protested. He slowly began to raise his head, and Ramsay began inspecting the doll, brushing the dust off its dress and mockingly stroking her hair.
Please don’t hurt her Reek thought
“What is her name then sweet pet?” Reek stared at his master; he tried but he couldn’t speak. Ramsey was speaking so calm, but he could see the anger in his eyes.
Skinner’s boot came down on him, striking him “Answer him”
“..her-h her name is y-Yara…I’m sorry master I’m so sorry ple-“ Reek gasped his voice breaking.
“Quit your whining” another of skinners boots came crashing down sending Reeks head into the cold stone.
Ramseys smile widened but his eyes stay cold fixed on his prey. “ah Yara – I know that name. Theon Greyjoy had a sister called Yara – do you know of a Theon, my sweet Reek?”
Reeks face flushed red. How could be so stupid?
“I – I don’t know..I don’t I swear it my lord” reek scrambled for something to say – something to make it better but he could not he lay there unable to move.
Ramsay waved his hand “no matter” He will let skinner take toe for it later “do you like her then Reek?”
Reek Hesitated and Skinner cleared his throat.
“yes..” he said in a Wisper looking down at the floor
“I didn’t hear you, look at me now”
Reek looked at his master “Yes, master I-I do”
Ramsay crouched down and met his eye line, for a split second you could almost mistake his expression as kind.
“I understand” he said slowly “It can be so lonely in these kennels”
Reek nodded “I’m sorry Master”
“I know you are” he reached out a tucked Reeks grey matted hair behind his ears. Reek flinched. ‘there that’s better” he grinned, Then the back of Ramsay's hand cracked across Reek's face, sending him sprawling.
His boys hauled him upright before he could fall, blood dripping from his nose.
Then he heard It
A rip, then another, the stuffing of the doll falling to the halls floor like dirty snow
Ramsay continued tearing until an arm came free, he dropped it carelessly at Reek's feet.
"Please..." Reek whispered.
The doll's head followed.
"Please, Master… I swear I'll be good."
He struggled toward the scattered pieces, but Damon planted a boot across his hands "Stay down, Reek.", He ground his heel into Reek's fingers.
"It's only a bloody doll."
Reek lowered his head, his shoulders shaking as he fought to smother the sobs that escaped him. Around him the hall rang with laughter.
Only one person did not join in. Across the room Sansa had been unable to look away, her weeks of indifference towards him had lasted this long. She had hated him for Winterfell, for Bran and Rickon.
She had expected him to fight back Instead she saw a man shaking on the floor crying over a toy. She remembered Theon Greyjoy. The once Proud and cocky ward to her father. This man bore him no resemblance. She was certain there was no Theon left.