Chapter Text
Dazai truthfully wasn’t sure why he was following his friends.
They had tried, multiple times, to get him to go climbing with them and every time he was able to turn it down easily. Tonight though, he was lonely. It was seven when he got the call from Yosano, asking him to go to the gym once again, a pathetic attempt to pull him from his dorm in hopes of more socialization.
He should’ve never picked up the phone, he wished he had rolled over in bed and continued scrolling.
But the thought of actually being around people might have helped the useless feeling in his chest, the loneliness that crept around every inch of his soul. So he had reluctantly agreed, only to sit and watch, not to actually try the sport.
“I’m so sick of my current project,” Yosano continued a conversation that Dazai had completely tuned out until now, “I might just do some V3 flashing tonight.”
“With Dazai finally joining?” Atsushi was excited as he turned to meet Dazai’s eyes quickly, “We’ve got to focus on getting him to try!”
“I already said I’m not climbing,” Dazai said easily, waving his hand as they made it to the gym.
It wasn’t a flashy building, but it was a few stories tall with huge windows that let everyone see inside, which Dazai hated. He could see quite a few people inside and dramatic lighting, even more reason for him to turn around now.
Thoughts of a lonely bed and demons in his mind stopped him from faking an illness and running away. He followed his friends into the gym and was consequentially met with an environment he instantly hated.
There was music playing, way too many people talking and the worst part was everyone looked like they knew what they were doing already, leaving Dazai to be the obvious outsider. He looked down at his outfit choice of black sweatpants and a grey longsleeve, feeling out of place already.
“Welcome back, I see you’ve brought a friend!” A man said from behind the counter, waving the group over, “Which one of you wants to forfeit your guest pass?”
Dazai read his nametag: Ranpo. Someone both Yosano and Atsushi had spoken about from time to time and although he’d never met him, Dazai felt like he already had a good grip on who he was.
“I will,” Yosano smiled as she approached, scanning her pass, “Poe not in tonight?”
“Oh he’s here,” Ranpo almost looked smug before he leaned over the counter to get closer to the group, “On the back wall, trying to get Kunikida on the auto-belay.”
Yosano quickly turned her head and tapped Atsushi’s forearm rapidly while stifling a laugh. Dazai followed their line of sight to see a tall man who looked extremely out of place arguing with a blonde man who also looked out of place, harness in hand waving it in the air. Dazai wondered just what he had gotten himself into.
“Anyway, what’s your name? You’ve got to sign a bunch of waivers.” Ranpo drew their attention back to him.
“Dazai Osamu.”
“Okay,” Ranpo began filling out a form with one hand while another shoved a handful of candy into his mouth. The clipboard of papers was then shoved towards Dazai, “Just fill these out, what size shoe are you?”
“Oh, I won’t be climbing tonight.” Dazai smiled almost sheepishly before he remembered himself, “I’d rather not die like this!”
“So you came to a climbing gym for what reason then?” Ranpo chuckled, leaning back and tossing more candy in his mouth, “Ah!” He jumped off his chair and disappeared into a small back room.
Dazai sighed and filled out the paperwork with half his brain functioning, feeling irritation creep up under his skin. He reminded himself this was simply a one time thing, to get out of his depressing dorm, spend time with his friends that he had been ignoring in favor of his terrible mind.
“Here,” Ranpo returned and slammed down a pair of very worn out shoes along with a canvas bag, “Size nine and a bag of chalk.”
“I’m not a size nine,” Dazai replied easily, moving the shoes back towards Ranpo with the clipboard full of finished information.
“No, you’re an eleven but climbing shoes are always sized down,” Ranpo smiled, “Happy climbing!”
“Oh c’mon Dazai,” Yosano rolled her eyes and turned to face him, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you let loose a bit.”
“I don’t need to,” Dazai grabbed the shoes and chalk off the counter and followed his friends, “I’m perfectly fine sitting here and watching in the presence of my wonderful friends!”
“At least try it,” Atsushi said, his voice a little disappointed, “I’ll show you the easiest route, a V0.”
“No thanks!” Dazai smiled.
“Whatever, this is my project,” Yosano stopped them in front of one of the walls of holds, walking up to tap a purple hold, “I’m going to try it before we get Dazai up on the slab.”
“I already said I’m not doing it!” Dazai faked annoyance and took a seat on the mat next to Atsushi.
He had already scoped the place out to be aware of his surroundings before settling his gaze straight forward at Yosano and Atsushi. Dazai watched as Yosano shooed Atsushi away and reached into her chalk bag before gripping one of the holds and pulling herself up.
“So she’s trying to complete her project,” Atsushi explained, feeling a bit awkward because usually Dazai was explaining things to him, “Which is just the route at a certain level.”
Dazai nodded, he could understand that much.
“This is a V6, so pretty difficult which is why she wanted to do easier V3’s instead,” Atsushi continued.
They watched as Yosano placed her foot in a tricky hold, wobbling a few times before regaining composure. She reached for a hold a bit too far out of reach before losing her footing all together and dropping back down to the mat, huffing in annoyance.
“V3’s it is,” She sighed as she picked herself up off the mat, “There’s a good one near your project, Atsushi.”
Dazai groaned as he got up off the mat and followed his friends further into the gym. Around him were sweaty bodies and conversations he wanted nothing to do with. As they continued further, the amount of people decreased significantly until they were in the back of the place entirely, facing another wall that looked exactly the same as the rest to Dazai.
He took his seat on the mat again, watching as his friends started talking amongst themselves and begin climbing.
Once again, his thoughts turned to how badly he wished he just stayed home. He had been grateful school didn’t start up again until Monday and it was a Friday night, a true blessing their university let them move back into their dorms a whole week early.
As his friend group started to trickle back into campus, Dazai had ignored them with half-assed excuses to mentally prepare himself for another semester. It wasn’t as if he was bad in school, it was quite the opposite- Dazai was extremely smart, he just never wanted to actually apply himself to anything.
A funny theme throughout his life, one where Dazai found absolutely no value in living.
Atsushi yelling proudly snapped Dazai out of his thoughts, causing him to look up at his friend who was hanging at the top of the wall. Yosano was standing below him, clapping and speaking praises up to him.
“Finally!” Atsushi said as he began climbing down the wall, eventually getting low enough to hop off onto the mat.
“C’mon, Dazai,” Yosano turned to look at him, “Atsushi just conquered V5, now you’ve got to try.”
“No thanks,” Dazai smiled, “I prefer my suicide methods a bit less… high off the ground.”
“There’s a good V0 on the other side of the gym,” She tried again, “I’ll buy you dinner if you just put on your shoes and touch the damn slab.”
She drove a hard bargain.
“You’re going to wine and dine me, Yosano?” Dazai winked, knowing full well they were platonic.
“If that’s what it takes to get your ass up then sure,” She winked back, “We can go to the Ramen place on Main Street.”
“Really?” Atsushi asked, eyes almost sparkling with excitement over the current proposition.
“Yes,” Yosano turned to acknowledge the younger, “But this freak has to keep up his end of the deal.”
Looking between Yosano’s hard stare and Atsushi’s desperate eyes, Dazai finally caved, sighing as he pulled up his knees and began untying his shoes. He chose to keep his eyes downcast and focused on unlacing his high-tops, trying his best to ignore his friend’s excitement. Eventually Dazai pulled off his shoes and tried to shove his sock-covered foot in the rental shoes, two sizes too small and insanely obvious at the moment.
“How am I even supposed to get this on?” Dazai asked, looking up at his friends who already had their bags on, ready to get going, “Guess I can’t do it and we can still get ramen because it isn’t my fault!”
“Put some effort into it,” Yosano chuckled, “You’ll get used to it.”
Dazai huffed but made no further protests even though mentioning this was a one time thing was on the tip of his tongue. He pushed his foot a little harder this time, surprised when it actually slipped in. When both shoes were on, he stood and grabbed his own, more comfortable pair, falling in step with his friends.
“I don’t see why anyone willingly does this.” Dazai pouted as they continued walking, noting there was less people now. He pulled out his phone to check the time, realizing they had been in the back corner for almost an hour.
“Because it’s fun, great community, very inclusive and welcoming,” Yosano said honestly.
“Plus there’s lots of benefits to climbing,” Atsushi continued as they walked, the mat squishing unevenly beneath their feet, “Get’s you in great shape.”
“I need no pointers on my physique,” Dazai rolled his eyes and pulled on his shirt a bit.
“And you make so many new friends!” Atsushi droned on, “We met Ranpo and Poe here, and Kunikida and Junichiro.”
“I have all the friends I could possibly need,” Dazai replied smoothly, starting to feel a bit bad for shooting down Atsushi at every argument he made but hell on his best days Dazai couldn’t get himself out of bed- he was not made for an environment like this.
The group finally turned the corner and saw a crowd of people staring up at an overhang, some cheering out words of encouragement and others staring in complete awe. Dazai was about to suggest they go back to the more desolate side of the gym before he caught a flash of auburn hair hanging from the belly of the wall- someone was actually climbing it.
Dazai hadn’t been impressed by many things in his life but if that was truly someone almost fifteen feet off the ground, climbing practically upside-down with no support, he’d consider being impressed.
The three made their way closer and Dazai got a good glimpse of the person climbing. He had on an all black outfit, loose tank top showing off his biceps and strong hands holding him in place. Striking auburn hair continued to move across the route as if gravity didn’t affect it, the man continuing his climb as if it was the easiest thing in the world.
Safe to say, Dazai considered himself impressed.
“Oh yeah,” Yosano said smugly, looking over to her friend who was mesmerized by the sight in front of him, “That’s also another benefit to climbing.”
Dazai didn’t respond as they got closer and stood in the crowd, watching as the man continued to climb effortlessly.
“C’mon now, send it!”
“Let’s go Chuuya!”
“I can’t believe he’s flashing the project I’ve spent a month on.”
“Onsight! Onsight!”
Dazai had no idea what any of the slang meant but he knew it had to be encouraging.
“He’s getting to the crux now,” Atsushi commented lowly as he leaned closer to Dazai, “Which is the hardest part of the route.”
The man hooked his foot on a hold that neared the top, using it to easily pull himself up and place one hand on a piece of plastic Dazai was sure was never made to be held onto. As quickly as he was upside-down, he was now right-side up, far too high off the ground for Dazai’s liking, seemingly nearing the end of his route.
“He’s going to have to send this last hold pretty hard,” Atsushi said, attempting to keep his friend in the loop.
Just as Dazai opened his mouth to respond, the man swung himself off the hold and onto another one, jumping far enough for Dazai’s mouth to hang open at it. He effectively grabbed the last hold with both hands for a few seconds before dropping one of his arms and smiling down at the small crowd.
Dazai had never seen something so enthralling. Messy hair, sweat and chalk covering his body, muscles out for view, heterochromic eyes and a smile worth a million dollars. He needed to get out of here and fast.
“I can’t believe it,” A guy turned around in the crowd and shook his head, coming up to join their group of three, “A V10, Yosano, he just flashed a V10!”
“It’s okay, Junichiro,” Yosano laughed, “Not everyone can defy gravity itself.”
“It’s so annoying,” Junichiro shook his head, “Who’s this?”
“Our friend, Dazai,” Yosano gestured towards him, “Who is refusing to get on the slab.”
“After watching Chuuya I’d refuse too,” Junichiro shook his head, “Nice to meet you, I’m Junichiro.”
Dazai smiled in response, quietly keeping himself out of the conversation, which began to pick up as Yosano and Atsushi spoke with Junichiro about climbing things. In all honesty, Dazai was now ready for the night to be over- he’d seen his friends, even put on the stupid climbing shoes and watched a very attractive man do something that seemed impossible. Thoughts of his bed, alone without an audience, his phone or a book, maybe his sketchbook seemed much more intriguing than where he was now.
And the most important matter: Dazai felt extremely out of place. He wasn’t used to being the one being introduced, he enjoyed knowing everything about everything, a true control freak.
“Weretiger,” A man approached their group, which seemed to be growing by the second.
“Stop calling me that!” Atsushi responded, annoyed but a tinge of red that crept up on his cheeks told a different story.
He was dressed in all black baggy clothes with a stark white chalk bag hanging low on his hips, matching his strange hair choice. Dazai thought he looked ridiculous, Atsushi had wildly different thoughts.
“It’s not my fault you look like that when you climb,” The man said, his voice surprisingly polished like an old man yet gruff as if he had difficulty breathing.
“It was one time,” Atsushi shook his head.
“Right,” The man looked unimpressed and very uptight, “I can set a new V1 for you if you’d like.”
“Akutagawa, I just did a V5 before walking over here,” Atsushi retorted, “Not that you’d know what one of those is like.”
“Quit arguing,” Yosano interjected, rolling her eyes, “When are we going to be blessed with new routes?”
“Tomorrow, gym is closed after five.” Akutagawa responded.
“Hope you like everything sadbagged,” A new voice- great.
Dazai turned his head to see the same man that had been climbing approach their group. Now, leaving was the only possible option for him as he watched baggy black pants and a baggy muscle tee that left nothing to the imagination strut up to them with far too much confidence.
“I don’t think I can defend you on that one, Akutagawa.” Junichiro smirked as the man walked up.
“Impressive send,” Yosano said casually.
“Thanks,” The man smiled with something so genuine Dazai thought he would pass out from the force of it, “I haven’t seen you ‘round here, you new?”
It took a moment for Dazai’s brain to compute he was speaking to him.
“Nope!” Dazai waved his hands and settled into his own confidence, “I’d rather die by my own hands, not some weird rock climbing thing.”
“Hah?” The man responded, completely thrown off by what Dazai said.
“Ignore him, Chuuya, he refuses to get on the slab.” Yosano bumped Dazai’s shoulder with her own.
“Why come to a climbing gym then?” Chuuya asked, raising a brow at Dazai.
“We thought it-”
“To find new methods of suicide,” Dazai cut Yosano off, “Not a fan of it though.”
“Fucking hell man,” Chuuya looked at Dazai as if he had three heads.
“Anyway,” Akutagawa brought his hand up to his mouth and coughed, “Will you be helping set routes tomorrow night?”
“Can’t,” Chuuya sighed, “I’m moving tomorrow but be sure to set a fun V12.”
“Of course,” Akutagawa nodded before he turned to walk away, disappearing into the group of people who were now trying the same route Chuuya had just done.
“Did you guys catch Kunikida on the auto-belay?” Chuuya asked, his voice light and full of energy.
It shattered something deep within Dazai’s soul, reached into his chest and wrapped itself around his heart, forcing it to beat under the thrumming pressure. It wasn’t some miraculous conclusion he had come to because of course, Dazai had met plenty of people who were alive; he himself was alive.
Yet Chuuya was a different kind of alive, bleeding energy onto the floor that seemed to infect everyone around him. He was laidback but Dazai could also feel something deeper in his voice and the way he held himself, something so emotional it rivaled the emptiness that ebbed away at his own soul.
Easy conversation, friendly with everyone on a way that wasn’t surface level, bright and loud, full of genuine talent it seemed- everything Dazai swore to despise.
Except Dazai felt a tug on his body, something drawing him in, something he was absolutely going to ignore with everything in himself.
“Yeah we saw when we walked in,” Yosano replied, keeping in a laugh, “How did Poe manage to even get him over there?”
“Said it was for a safety check,” Chuuya laughed at himself as he continued, “You guys shoulda got here like an hour earlier, he made it up four holds!”
“I bet we could bribe Ranpo for the security footage,” Junichiro commented, trying to keep his own laugh in.
“Oh that absolutely will be happening,” Atsushi smiled as he spoke.
“Did you ever get that V5, kid?” Chuuya changed the conversation, directing it towards the younger of the group.
“Tonight,” Atsushi beamed, “Right before we came over.”
“Nice!” Junichiro responded, giving Atsushi a high five while Chuuya also said his praises.
Dazai wanted to leave.
“We’re headed to the V0 over there if you guys want to join,” Yosano pointed to the slab across from them.
“Sure, why not.” Chuuya shrugged, turning around to lead them to apparently where Dazai had committed himself to certain death.
And no this wasn’t supposed to happen, Chuuya and the new addition of Junichiro shouldn’t be coming with them before Dazai surely embarrassed himself. There was absolutely no way he was getting on the wall now.
“Heading to the easy wall?” Another voice rang out and now Dazai was for sure going to bolt out of the entire establishment.
“Yeah, I thought I’d give your year-long project a shot, Fyodor.” Chuuya turned and brushed past the group to stare down a man with long black hair and a piercing smile.
Not piercing like Chuuya’s had been, his was something sinister and Dazai hoped it wasn’t some kind of strange rock climbing drama he was walking in to.
“Both of you quit it,” Another voice chimed in, “Gym is closing in five minutes.”
Dazai was both insanely annoyed at the addition of yet another person he didn’t know and extremely grateful that closing time was so soon. He turned to see an older man walking towards them.
“Such a buzzkill, Fukuzawa.” Yet another voice piped in, this one coming from the top of one of the walls.
“When you finish, it’s time to go, Tachihara,” Fukuzawa smiled, “All of you too, although I hope to see you all in the next few days for new routes.”
“You bet,” Yosano smiled, dusting her hands with chalk.
“Can’t wait,” Junichiro piped in.
“You got it, old man.” Chuuya shot Fyodor a look before turning around to the group, ignoring whoever this Fyodor guy was.
When Fukuzawa turned and began walking away, Yosano jumped straight on the wall with Chuuya not far behind her, swinging through the two routes with a practiced ease. Dazai couldn’t keep his eyes off the form of Chuuya, how in his element he seemed, how the world seemed to be completely swallowed whole by the energy he radiated.
“Hey don’t campus those!” Yet another goddamn voice yelled out.
“Oh cool off, glasses,” Chuuya muttered, continuing his route before dropping on the ground with precision.
“Kunikida is always a stickler for the rules,” Atsushi sighed, “We should return your shoes and let Yosano finish.”
“Thank god!” Dazai exclaimed, clapping his hands together as he walked towards the front counter with Atsushi by his side.
It was easy to return his rental shoes, Dazai wanted to light them on fire as he placed them on the counter, knowing he’d never have to put them on ever again. He smiled, selfishly, as it was nice to hang out with his friends and he appreciated the sentiment of them trying to get him out of his dorm but this was not his scene in the slightest.
A suicidal twenty-one year old with a fear of heights and a distaste for the unknown, tonight had been his own personal hell.
Aside from Chuuya, he supposed, at least a pretty face sat on top of all that annoying personality.
“Ready?” Yosano asked as she caught up with them, a few people trailing behind her, “I’m so mad you didn’t get to climb but I’ll still get you ramen.”
“Yes!” Dazai smiled despite himself, he could feel the edges of his mind start to darken with his perpetual emptiness.
“This isn’t over though,” Yosano pushed the door open, “We’ll get you another time.”
The group of three walked out of the gym and into the warm August air, heading towards Yosano’s small car parked in the lot. The ride to the ramen spot was easier than Dazai expected, light conversation scattered through as he leaned his head against the window, watching the buzzing city as it passed by.
Sitting at the restaurant was also easier than expected, with steaming ramen in front of them it was hard for anything to be difficult. The atmosphere was nice, most of the reason Dazai enjoyed coming here in the first place. All the booths were positioned in a way that it felt secluded and warm, the red decorations and small lantern lighting made for a cozy feel.
Yosano and Atsushi were droning on about climbing things, name dropping quite a few of the people Dazai had met that night. It was nice, despite the depression clawing its way back into his mind, to be around his friends in a small and comfortable atmosphere.
He wished part of himself was different, wished he was able to openly try something his friends were die hard on enjoying, it would probably make him a better person all around. But he couldn’t, there was a rock in his chest constantly weighing him down; he was barely able to keep his head above the water on the best of days.
The night ended with Dazai closing himself in his empty dorm room and flicking all the lights off before absentmindedly changing into something softer on his skin before burying himself underneath his covers.
Dazai scrolled through his phone for a while, flipping between different apps as his mind held one thought: Chuuya.
Annoying, quite short and full of a bright, shining light that blinded him into annoyance. Without thinking, Dazai opened instagram and pressed the search button, realizing how idiotic and embarrassing it was but it’s not like anyone would know.
He typed ‘Chuuya’ into the search bar, surprised when an account showed up on first try.
Thirty-five thousand followers was impressive, but mostly Dazai felt annoyed. Of course Chuuya was some world star athlete with a ton of followers. What really intrigued him was that apparently Chuuya went to Yokohama University, the same university he attended, yet he had never seen him before.
Of course, the university was huge and it wasn’t common for him to see his own friends most weeks with how spread out everyone’s classes were because they all had different majors, but surely someone like Chuuya would have stood out in the chaos of the mid afternoon class rush.
Dazai inwardly rolled his eyes and clicked on the most recent picture he’d posted.
Of course it had to be something about climbing, what the hell was a crag anyway? Dazai scrolled to the next picture.
Oh, so Chuuya was a serious athlete. It was made apparent to Dazai, sure, but seeing the medals and thousands of likes and comments on his post made things a little more real. A competition climber who happened to be annoying, fantastic.
He decided to do a quick google search on this ‘Team Mafia’ thing Chuuya had hashtagged. He typed into google hastily, staring in a bit of shock at the search results.
- Mafia Climbing team
- Mafia Climbing Yokohama
- Mafia Climbing 2026 Competition Results
- Mafia Climbing Chuuya
- Mafia Climbing Chuuya Nakahara
- Mafia Climbing Flags Division
- Mafia Climbing what happened to the Flags Division
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Mafia Climbing
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Report inappropriate predictions
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Dazai clicked on ‘Mafia Climbing Team’ to further his investigation.
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Mafia Climbing team
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The 'Mafia Climbing Team' refers to a world class competition climbing team, professionally called The Port Mafia. The group includes notable climbers, including the heavily decorated Chuuya Nakahara. The team operates underneath Ougai Mori in Yokohama, Japan but often travels internationally for competitons.
Want more information on The Port Mafia competitive climbing team? Click here! |
Wow, so Chuuya was a real athlete. It annoyed Dazai for some reason, something he couldn’t bring himself to think further into as he switched back over to instagram to continue investigating.
Oh god, Chuuya was extremely embarrassing. He scrolled again.
Something in the picture made Dazai do a double take. Climbing on some rock wall in a gym was one thing but on ice? With what looked like axes? Yeah, this Chuuya guy was absolutely out of his mind.
The caption stuck with Dazai for a moment, ‘only place i feel control’. For all his newfound annoyance and disgust with a man he had met for a total of thirty minutes, Dazai could find a spot in the empty cavity of his chest to understand the sentiment. Dazai loved control himself but he’d never post something so vulnerable and downright cringy on instagram.
With a sigh to nobody but himself, Dazai swiped out of instagram and shut off his phone, flipping on his back so he could properly stare at the ceiling until the void drug him into sleep.
-
Dazai startled awake to a ding from his phone.
He was a notoriously light sleeper, rolling over to clutch the device in his hands with eyes flying open. There was nothing more in the world Dazai wanted to do than get a few more hours of sleep but it had been ruined now.
He shot up out of bed at the message on his phone.
From: Yokohama University Alert System
Subject: Roommate Slot Filled
Roommate Slot: 04 has been filled. If you are receiving this email, it is because this slot is for the unit you are currently assigned to. Do not hesitate to reach out to [email protected] with any questions.
New Occupant Name: Nakahara, Chuuya
Expected Move-in Date: 08/29/2026
Gender: Male
Dorm Housing Number 078: FULL, 2 STUDENTS NOW ASSIGNED
Oh, how fantastic.