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the lines over your skin

Summary:

Lee Felix wanted his life to end. Han Jisung saved him and gave him a family.

(or felix is a mess and all the kids love him very much)

Notes:

helloo!

this is my first work that i'm publishing! if you enjoy please let me know, feedback motivates me very much!

this fic is very loosely based off of a gorgeous bts fic i read once and am no longer able to find! sigh :(

warnings for this chapter:
depiction of suicide attempt via cuts on arms and torso, implied dissociation/spacing out
i think that's it for now? the first chapter is probably gonna be one of, if not the heaviest, so please don't let that discourage you!

in the first chapter, felix is referred to with they/them pronouns (he's so pretty that han doesn't know if he's a guy or not lolol) sorry if this is confusing!

oh yeah and i'm really bad at povs, i apologize if it's inconsistent or bad!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

felix-

He had failed. 

 

He knew that when he blearily saw a pretty face staring down at him, putting pressure on the steadily leaking cuts on his arms and torso. “Don’t give up on me,” he heard the face pleading, cursing softly. He heard a ringtone dial once… twice… three times before picking up. “Help me hyung-” he heard the pretty face gasp into the phone, before he slipped away into the abyss. 

 

He drifted, small snippets cutting through. “I found them by the bridge…”, the quiet rush of the river, “They just passed out fully, Chan, I-”, a car honking.

He felt gentle hands on him, the swaying of a car, and unfamiliar fabric underneath his marred skin. 

 

weird he thought. is this what hell is like? what life is after death?

 

His questions remained unanswered as he stayed comfortably adrift in the endless map of static and gentle hands.

 

 

han-

It had been a regular day in his shared studio. A couple customers, the usual teasing between him and Innie between their appointments. He stayed late, working on a design for a client he had the next day. 

“You coming with?” Jeongin asked, swinging his bag onto his shoulder. 

 

“Nah,” he responded, looking up from his tablet. “Gonna try and finish this design, then walk.”

“Sounds good,” Jeongin replied. “You good to lock up for the night?” He nods in affirmation, a small hum departing his lips. 

“See ya” he mutters, already focused back on the design.

 

A while later, he looked up from his tablet to see that the blanket of dusk had descended over the city. He stretched, setting his tablet down as he stood up and began the methodical process of locking up the shop. He pulled out his phone, sending off a quick message to the group chat that he had with the six idiots he lived with.

 

un-fucking-fortunately we share a house

 

ink master: im heading home now

 

ink master: walkig so dont expect me right away lolol

 

father dearest: pls be careful its getting dark

 

father dearest: seeya soon xo

 

(min)hoe: bitch thats my boyfriemd go xo your own

 

 

Jisung huffed a fond sigh, tucking his phone back in his pocket while he finished gathering his things to leave. He went through the typical mental checklist, before turning the main light off, stepping out, and locking the door.

 

The area where their shop stands is not quite city, but not quite rural. As a result of that, there was a quiet path and bridge that went over a small river. This bridge-path, as they had all taken to calling it, was an (albeit quite long) route that led almost right to their apartment building. It was on this path Han decided to walk, thinking that the fresh air and slight hills would do him good after the full day of hunching over screens and clients that he just had.

 

Jisung was strolling along the path, almost at the bridge, when he faintly heard ragged breathing. His pace stuttered, assuming a small animal had fallen off the side of the bridge and gotten badly injured. He made the quick decision to step off to the side of the bridge, using the almost-invisible path in the grass that he’d gone down so many times before. His heart squeezed as he made his way down.

 

The last thing he expected was to see an almost ethereal person lying there, blonde hair tinged red with the puddle of blood they were laying in, knife clutched in hand.

 

“Oh my god” he whispered, dropping to his knees beside them, pulling off his hoodie and using it to apply pressure to what seemed to be the worst of the wounds. He pulled out his phone with shaking hands, saying “Don’t give up on me” firmly and continuing to apply pressure with one hand while dialing Chan with the other.

 

“Ji? You okay?” he heard distantly, before gasping out “Help me hyung” desperately. “By the bridge. I found them by the bridge”

 

“Found who?” Chan demands, the rustling of fabric in the background suggesting that he’s getting up and already preparing to leave.

“I- I don’t know,” he admits, tears welling up. “There’s so much blood, they have cuts all over.”

 

“I’m on my way,” Chan said firmly. “I’ll bring the car as close to the bridge as I can. Can you try and stop the bleeding the best you can?”

 

“I don’t know if I can,” he responds before seeing a sight that makes his blood go cold. The person’s eyes flutter shut slowly. “They just passed out fully, Chan, I-” “I’m almost there” Chan interrupts. “Focus on stopping the bleeding for now.”

 

“I’ll bring them back up to the top of the bridge,” he whispers brokenly, before repeating it again more confidently. “C’mon, Jisung.” he thinks, picking up the still-bleeding figure in front of him and making his way back up the path with his phone clenched in his mouth carefully. 

 

“I’m here” he hears Chan say suddenly, right as he sees headlights approach on the small road that goes by the path. As Chan pulls up, he hoists their body back into his arms and pulls open the back door to the car. “Hyung” he whispers, laying them down across the back seats with their head in his lap and shutting the door behind him.

 

The next half-hour passed in a blur, a mess of blood and bandages and applying pressure. Jisung came back to himself with a warm hand on his back and a firm command to change out of his blood-stained shirt. He hesitates, before agreeing “Fine, but if they wake up while I’m gone come get me.” and heading off to his room. He changes quickly, rushing back out and asking “Anything?”

 

Chan shakes his head, staring down at them. “Now we wait” he says quietly, motioning for Jisung to sit in the armchair by the couch.