Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

“So let’s laugh, hug each other, and talk about tomorrow. I’ve always dreamed of laughing with an oni and talking about the future, anyway.”

“…You truly are fanatical like an oni.”

“You bet.”

With those simple words, Natsuki Subaru had effortlessly thawed Rem’s frozen heart, freeing the oni from the shackles binding her since that fiery night. In their place, a delicate, flourishing bud known as love took root in her heart. One she would cherish greatly, nurturing it with all the attention and care she had to offer, so that one day it may bloom into a flower—beautifully ephemeral—and present it to the black-haired boy that had saved her and expanded her world.

Alas, such love will never be.

Natsuki Subaru already had his heart stolen by one half-elf; Emilia, just Emilia.

Rem could never compare to Emilia. Not in standing, personality, or actions. While she was a mere maid, Emilia was a royal candidate to Lugunica’s throne. While she had suspected the hard-working, black-haired boy of being a Witch Cultist, Emilia had trusted and cared for him while he was on the verge of breaking down from overwork. While she had recklessly rushed into the woods to save the young man from her own mistakes, ultimately creating more trouble in the process, Emilia had healed him, using up her Od in the process.

Additionally, although the blue-haired maid was beautiful in her own right, Emilia could only be described as dazzling. Her amethyst-blue eyes shone with innocence, her flowing silver hair was silky smooth, and her pointed ears—which had painted her as a target of discrimination—only seemed to enhance her allure.

It was no secret that from the moment Subaru arrived at the mansion, he was infatuated with Emilia. From the way his scary eyes lit up when he caught sight of her. The silly nicknames he called her. Sitting next to her during mealtimes. Playfully teasing her when she uses an old phrase. Comparing her voice to the “ringing of a silver bell.” All of these little things, and so much more, clearly painted a picture with one single message: Natsuki Subaru loves Emilia.

And it made her heart ache so, so very much.

She wished he would look at only her with that love-struck gaze. Only held her hands with his soft, yet undeniably masculine hands. Spoke only her name with that gentle voice, slowly whispering “Rem-rin” in her ear, using the cute nickname he gave her. She wished that his heart belonged to her, not Emilia.

She couldn’t hate Emilia, however. She didn’t want to. After all, it was because of her that Subaru had managed to shine like the hero he was. Along with that, although she frequently denies it, Emilia had apparently saved him. Not only that, she was great company and a kind girl, as Rem had learned during their private tea parties together. How could she ever hate someone like that?

Thus, despite the pain it brought her, despite the way it caused her heart to twist and ache, she would be fine living with her love forever unrequited. Even if her love were to grow thorns that wrap around her heart, as long as she could stand next to her hero, taking up a small space in his heart, and continue living these halcyon days as they laughed about the future, that would be enough for her.

Or at least, it should’ve been.

In the late hours of Earth Time, a little under an hour before Brightsun and all the usual hustle and bustle truly began, a black-haired butler slept peacefully in his bed. On most mornings, he would usually be tossing and turning restlessly due to nightmares he could never speak of. However, starting recently, he’d slept without even a hint of fear haunting his face. The reason for this was simple: next to the boy’s bed sat a blue-haired oni, already dressed up for her maid work, holding his left hand with her right.

These two were, of course, Natsuki Subaru and Rem. It had only been a few weeks since the novice butler had started working in the mansion with them, and while his first few days had been chaotic, especially due to the Mabeast Incident, he had eventually found a place in the hearts of the mansion’s residents.

“Ha~ah, Subaru-kun looks so cute sleeping like this.”

Waking up early to watch Subaru-kun sleeping, his face so uncommonly serene, had recently become Rem’s favourite way to start her morning. Of course, one would wonder why Rem was in Subaru-kun’s room in the first place. At first, she had snuck into his room to spend just a little more time with him, as she was responsible for most of the mansion's upkeep, and consequently the busiest in the mansion. Then, she got addicted to gazing at his calm sleeping form. Contrasting with how loud, hyperactive, and clumsy he acted while awake—though Rem still loved that part of him—Subaru-kun looked fragile and practically defenseless while asleep. When his cheeks pressed against his pillow, it made Rem want to squish them. Just looking at Subaru-kun sleeping deeply without a care in the world was enough to wash away all of Rem’s worries and energize her for the day’s work. Unfortunately, one morning just a few nights ago, she didn’t find Subaru-kun sleeping peacefully. Just remembering it made her heart soar as much as it troubled her.

Usually, Rem left Subaru-kun’s room when the sky had shifted into a navy blue, leaving to wake Ram up. On that particular night however, Rem had “lost track of time” and stayed a little later than she had intended to, though in reality she just wanted to spend a little more time staring at Subaru-kun sleeping.

“No… Stop… Don’t come any closer… Stop…”

Stirring in his sleep, Subaru-kun whispered those words under his breath, barely audible. Rem, who was gazing intently and silently observing his expression from beside him, almost didn’t catch them. Worried for the boy, she bent forward on her chair and leaned over his bed to better hear his mutterings.

“I didn’t say anything… So why, why, why…?!”

“Subaru-kun?”

His muttering started to become more and more frantic, his voice getting louder with each word. Subaru-kun’s right hand moved towards his chest, clutching at where his heart would be. His expression had scrunched up into a grimace, and he started to twist and turn in his bed.

“I did everything right! Please, not again!”

“Subaru-kun!”

“It hurts! I’m scared! It hurts! I’m scared!”

Repeating those words, Subaru-kun started to shout, sounding afraid. His face, which had looked so tranquil moments before, had contorted into a pallid scowl. He was starting to hyperventilate, thrashing around in his bed and kicking his sheets off. Rem started to panic, now realizing that he was having a nightmare. She’d never had to deal with situations like these, so she’d frozen in place like a statue. While Rem was racking her brain on what to do, Subaru-kun hands moved down to his arms, clawing and scratching hard enough to break skin and draw blood.

Seeing this, Rem was immediately snapped out of her shock. Remembering the last time she had seen Subaru-kun in this state—after the Mabeast Incident—she recalled how she had helped him calm down; simply doing what would make her happiest in his place. Taking action, Rem gently but quickly separated his hands from his arms and tightly grasped onto his hands with her own, but not hard enough to hurt. Just firm enough to send the message that she was here, his Rem was here.

The effects were almost immediate. Subaru-kun’s screams began to die down, his breathing steadied to a slower, even pace, and his thrashing calmed down to small jerks and fidgets. His face slowly regained its colour and was returning to its previous gentle countenance, as his muttering and movement stopped altogether. The only remaining sign of his previous nightmare were the small streams of blood trickling down his arms like vines, barely avoiding staining the blanket and mattress sheets.

Letting go of her left hand, Rem took out a handkerchief and cleaned the blood off Subaru-kun’s arms, making sure she could see the scratch marks on his arms clearly. Luckily, they were only skin deep, so they would only take a few moments to heal using magic. When she tried to free her right hand however, she found that Subaru-kun had tightly grasped her own and seemed to not want to let go.

“What a spoiled man you are, Subaru-kun.”

Her quip lacked any of its usual teasing tone, leaving only a worried sigh in its place. Using only one hand to cast healing magic, the time it took for Rem to heal his wounds doubled. By the time she was finished and made sure there were no scars or scabs left—including his self-inflicted scratch wounds—the morning sky had already taken on its usual pale blue colour. Subaru-kun’s nightmare and her healing had taken the rest of her “staring at Subaru-kun” time, and by her estimate, he should be waking up at any moment.

“Nngh…”

As if he had heard her internal monologue, Subaru-kun yawned and stirred himself awake, his eyes opening and groggily scanning the room before landing on Rem sitting beside him.

“Oh, hey Rem. Beautiful morning today, huh? Wait… Rem?! Were you watching me sleep again? And aren’t you usually out of my room by now?”

Despite him acting like his usual carefree and quite frankly confusing attitude, Rem could tell that Subaru-kun was wearing it like a mask, desperately trying to hide his shock and worry. Almost like he was trying to hide something.

“Rem apologizes, Subaru-kun. She wished to watch your cute sleeping form for a few moments longer, however… she witnessed something she thinks you didn’t want her to see.”

“Oh. So you saw that, huh.”

Subaru-kun avoided looking directly at Rem’s stern but still very kind eyes, instead turning his gaze downwards. Following his line of sight, Rem realized he was looking at where their hands were locked together, fingers intertwined.

“Hahah, this reminds me of the day after the Mabeast incident. Back then, you grabbed my hand when I was having a nightmare, and that helped calm me down, didn’t it? I’m guessing something similar happened this time too.”

The shared warmth between them helped dispel the morning chill, both their hands surprisingly soft, with Subaru-kun’s having the long, slender fingers that a man would have. Concentrating on that feeling, Rem looked straight into his eyes and took in a deep breath, preparing herself to question her beloved hero.

“Subaru-kun thrashed around in his sleep, muttering to something or someone, saying how he ‘did everything right’. You even started scratching his arms until they bled. When Rem mentioned it to you, you acted as if this has been happening for a while, and she could tell from the scabs that this wasn't the first time. Rem… wants to know. How long has this been happening? Why are you having them in the first place? What have you been seeing in your nightmares? And how can Rem help? Please, tell Rem.”

Averting his gaze once more from Rem’s own, Subaru-kun stares at the blanket covering his bottom half, gripping it tightly with his right hand. Biting his lip and scowling deeply, he looked like he’d been cornered and was now trying to find an excuse not to answer her.

“I-I don’t think it’s something you need to worry about Rem. I can deal with it on my own, no need to make more work for yourself over me being pathetic. It’s not a big deal, so—”

“It is a big deal to Rem! Rem isn’t worried about you because it’s her job, but because she cares about you, pitiful or not! So please, Subaru-kun, if you can, tell Rem what’s been bothering you, no matter how small you may think it is. Even if it’s just to ease her worries, even if she can’t do much, Rem wants to ease the weight on your shoulders. After all, aren’t we supposed to lean on each other as we move forward?”

Surprised by the sudden outburst from Rem, Subaru-kun is left speechless for a long moment. He just sat there, mouth opening and closing without a sound like a fish, staring at Rem with wide eyes. Then, almost out of nowhere, he let out a bark of laughter, then another, and another until he was fully laughing. Rem, feeling embarrassed but mostly relieved that her impromptu speech had worked, simply pouted with inflated cheeks and lightly slapped his arm. This, however, only made Subaru-kun laugh even louder.

“Hahahahah! Sorry, I’m sorry! I just didn’t think that you’d use my own words against me like that! Phew, you got me good!” Wiping the tears from his eyes, Subaru-kun finally looked straight into Rem’s sky-blue eyes, still smiling but expression serious.

“Sorry to disappoint you Rem, I’d love to explain to you why I’m having these nightmares, or what they’re about, but I can’t. Not because I don’t want to, but because I don’t think I physically *can* explain it.” Hearing this, Rem felt her heart drop once more. Even though Subaru-kun seemed to genuinely be unable to explain himself, to Rem it felt like she was failing her loved ones again. She couldn’t stop herself from letting the disappointment show on her face, so instead she tried to hide it by looking down.

“Buuuuut, if you want to help me, I wouldn’t mind if you held my hand like this again while I sleep, hehe.”

Rem snapped her head once she heard that, and saw Subaru-kun with a bashful smile spread across his face and a slight blush that caused it to glow faintly. She stopped herself from getting entranced by that expression, her heart fluttering and heat spreading across her own face. Once again, he’d effortlessly quell the shadows growing in her mind and reassure her—even despite his own problems, in one of his most vulnerable moments—causing her own mind to blank, save for one thought:

“Ahhh, I really do love him.”

“…Rem-rin? Hello?” Of course, Subaru-kun couldn’t have been aware of the emotional turmoil Rem was going through. To him, she’d just suddenly sat there staring at his face, so he tried to get her attention again. After no response from her, he tried poking her cheek, which made her jump, finally snapping her out of her trance.

After a short moment, Rem finally replied, “Oh! Apologies,Subaru-kun, Rem got a little lost in thought for a moment. Though if holding your hand is truly all you need to help with your nightmares, your Rem will gladly do it for the whole night!”

“I don’t need you to go that far!” It seemed Subaru-kun was getting embarrassed and wanted to change his mind, but Rem understood what he really wanted, and she would give it to him! “I just need you to hold my hand for an hour or two before waking me up. After all, if you watch over me the whole night, how are you going to sleep? Ram would probably kill me if she heard about it!”

Ah, that’s right, she still had to have enough energy to complete the mansion’s chores. Even if she says watching him sleep gives her as much energy as sleeping, Rem knows that in reality she’d be aching the whole day if she got any less sleep than she did now. Reluctantly, she nodded her head, agreeing to Subaru-kun’s request.

Subaru-kun grinned from ear to ear, shaking their still connected hands up and down. “Great, then we have a deal! Man, waking up to see a cute oni maid holding my hand every day, is this a dream? Ah wait, if it was Emilia-tan I’d be waking up to, then I’d really be in heaven!”

That last sentence caused something uncomfortable to stir in Rem’s heart, as she finally got up from her seat and let go of their hands, she already missed his warmth. “Rem will have to help Nee-sama get ready now, we’ve already spent enough time not working. Please head to the kitchen to help prepare breakfast once you get yourself dressed, Subaru-kun.”

Rem smiled with the usual warm smile she wore for him, though this one hid some more bittersweet emotions. With a final bow to Subaru-kun, Rem left the room and prepared herself for another day filled with chores.

Back in the present, the vivid blue sky had started to replace the faint morning glow, which Rem took as a sign to wake Subaru-kun up for their morning chores. Gently shaking his body with her free hand, Rem tried to rouse Subaru-kun from his sleep; no response. She shook him harder, though not hard enough to cause him any harm. That seemed to work, as Subaru-kun started to stir awake.

“Five more minutes, mom…”

Well, Subaru-kun did work very hard yesterday, he only broke one vase this time, and it wasn’t even an expensive one! Rem supposes she could let him sleep in a little longer so he could get his rest. Definitely not so she could watch him sleep and hold his hand for five more minutes! Though, since he was still sleeping, it wouldn’t hurt for her to get one final fill of his sleeping form.

His usually intimidating eyes softened to the point where he looked like a baby. To get a better look at them, Rem brushed her other hand over Subaru-kun’s hair to style it into his characteristic look, using the opportunity to stroke his hair. It always felt softer than it looked. She’d need to control herself before she got addicted, lest she start patting his hair whenever she saw him.

“Subaru-kun’s hair is getting long again, Rem will have to cut it soon.” Rem finally took her hand off of his hair, deciding that Subaru-kun had gotten more than enough rest. She opted to go for a different method of waking him up, giving in to the urge to pinch his cheek with her free hand until he finally groaned and groggily opened his eyes.

“Ow!”

“I’ve let you sleep in long enough Subaru-kun, it’s time to wake up and complete our morning chores.”

“Urghhh, you really are an oni you know that, Rem-rin?”

“You’re the one who wanted me to wake you up every morning, weren’t you?” Rem reminded him, chirping a giggle.

With that, Subaru-kun finally raised himself on his bed and rubbed his pinched cheek with his free right hand. Subaru-kun blinked rapidly to wake himself up, letting out a yawn before turning to look at Rem, who was still giggling at his antics. Feeling slightly embarrassed at her teasing, Subaru-kun felt he should get some payback of his own.

“Well, that deal was totally in my favour. After all, I get to see your beautiful face first thing in the morning!” Rem’s face glowed red almost immediately, getting the desired reaction he wanted.

“Don’t tease me, Subaru-kun!” Rem pouted in faux anger, but that only made her look more adorable.

“If only I could flirt with Emilia-tan like this too… Well, the only way to do that is to get up and about, right Rem-rin?” It was at that particular moment that Rem felt a sharp pain in her chest. Rem couldn’t stop herself from doubling over and coughing repeatedly and uncontrollably, forcing her to let go of Subaru-kun’s hand.

“Rem?! Are you okay?!”

“ Rem apologizes for worrying you like that Subaru-kun, I’m fine.” She spoke after the last few coughs left her, leaving her with small laboured breaths.

Rem tried her best to put on a natural smile, but it was clear to the both of them that she was putting up a front.

“Are you sure? I could get you some water or something. Maybe wake up Ram and let you rest? You work too hard anyways.”

“Rem will be fine, but she appreciates your concern, Subaru-kun. It makes her very happy.”

With that, Rem hurries herself out of Subaru-kun’s room before he could offer to give her any more help. After all, she had to wake up her sister too.

“Nee-sama, are you awake?” Rem called out as she knocked on her sister’s door. Of course, she didn’t expect a response, so she opened the door immediately.

Inside, her pink-haired twin was expectedly still asleep, though clearly she was starting to stir from the streams of sunlight streaking across her face. Rem hastily walked to the window of her sister's room and carefully opened the blinds, allowing the morning light to fully pour in.

“It’s time to wake up, Nee-sama. We don’t have much time so Rem will have to rush helping you get ready.” Rem gently urged her sister as she slowly sat herself up, stretching as she did so.

“Nnngh, we’d have more time if you snuggled with me like we used to. Ram would sleep better if you did that too.” Her sister complained in between yawns, as Rem helped her get out of her nightgown and dress into her maid uniform.

“Nee-sama, the last time we did that was years ago. You know we can’t anymore, we won’t be together forever even if we want to be.” Ram wouldn’t need to turn around to know that Rem had a melancholic smile on her face.

“Ah, of course. Rem can’t sleep with me or wake me up earlier because of a certain Barusu. Curse that lecherous, womanizing, wretch, hoarding all of my precious little sister’s attention.”

“Hehe, don’t be too harsh on him, Nee-sama. Rem just wants to help thank him for the mabeast Incident.” At that, her sister let out an indignant huff, making her seem a hundred times more charming. Rem almost pulled her into a bear hug then and there, the only thing stopping her being their lack of time.

“Do you dislike Subaru-kun, Nee-sama?”

“Barusu has his uses, but whether he is fit for Ram’s adorable little sister is a separate matter entirely.” Of course, Rem already knew what her sister’s opinion on Subaru-kun was, but having verbal confirmation that she didn’t mind him lifted a weight off her shoulders, being a stamp of approval on its own.

“You have nothing to worry about, Nee-sama. No matter how close I get with Subaru-kun, you will always be my pride and joy.”

“Hmph, that’s obvious. After all, there’s no one who can match Rem’s Onee-chan.” Even without their Synesthesia, Rem could tell that Ram was slightly embarrassed and very happy at being called Onee-chan again, despite her demeanor. They were sisters, after all.

After that exchange, a comfortable silence fell between the two, the only sound that could be heard being the rustle of clothes as Rem finished changing her sister. The only thing that was left was to smooth out her sister's bed hair, and they’d be done.

“I wonder how Subaru-kun would react to me growing out my hair?” Rem asked herself in a quiet voice, almost whispering.

“…There is no need for Rem to worry about copying Emilia-sama. While her hair is certainly long and pretty, Rem’s hairstyle is charming in its own right. If that Barusu has any sense of taste, then he will certainly recognize the stunning beauty that is Ram’s wonderful little sister. It’ll only be a matter of time.” Hehe, it seems her sister had seen through her completely.

“Your words make me feel very happy, Nee-sama. Still though, Rem can’t help but feel that Emilia-sama—” would be a better fit for Subaru-kun. However, before Rem could finish that sentence, she felt the same sharp pain in her chest as she once again went into a coughing fit. Though this time, it felt like there was something trying to escape from her lungs.

“Rem?!”

Her sister instantly sat up from her chair and went up to Rem, putting a hand on her back and rubbing it in circular soothing motions. Through their link, Rem could feel worry and concern her sister was feeling over her. Not wanting to worry her anymore, Rem forced whatever it was in her throat back down, and used all her willpower to stop her coughing.

“...Rem will be alright Nee-sama, it seemed something was stuck in my throat.” Putting on a strained smile once more, Rem collected herself despite how oddly tired she felt. Her sister would see through this facade, of course, but her confusion would give her enough time to remove herself from the situation. “Now then, after Nee-sama finishes preparing herself for work, could she head to the kitchen and help prepare breakfast for the mansion? Rem wants to complete the morning chores as we have already wasted enough time.”

“Wait, Rem, your horn—!”

Before she could say anything else, Rem had already left the room. After all, the morning chores wouldn’t get themselves done on their own.

Throughout the rest of the day, Rem fanatically finished her chores as if she was possessed. She was diligent about cleaning every speck of dust, wiping down every window until it was spotless, and making sure not a single spot of grime could be found on any bit of furniture. She didn’t take a single moment for a break, ignoring the growing feeling of lethargy seeping throughout her body, down to her very bones.

Her mind was starting to feel slightly foggy, and it felt as if it took her longer than usual to remember which tasks she had to do next. Still, Rem made sure to stay quick on her feet and paid close attention to her surroundings. She wanted to avoid encountering Subaru-kun and her sister as much as she could. It was easy to evade Subaru-kun, even without the Witch’s smell hanging around him, as he wasn’t very athletic compared to her. She simply had to keep her distance from the stench and hurry away if she spotted him.

Her sister, on the other hand, was a much bigger problem. Not only did she know all of her habits and usual routes for cleaning, she also had their Synesthesia link telling her where she was. Rem had to actively suppress their link to stop it from revealing her location, and work as swiftly as she could to outmanoeuvre her sister. She knew that this would hurt the both of them, but it was better than them worrying over a simple cough that would surely pass by soon.

Unfortunately, Rem couldn’t exactly avoid the two of them when it came to preparing lunch. She’d already left them to make breakfast for the mansion by themselves, and she wasn’t sure that Roswaal-sama would enjoy having steamed tatoes for two meals in a row. Her workaround for this was to prepare the meal an hour earlier, and trust the two of them to simply reheat and serve it. It wasn’t the most elegant solution, but it would work for the moment. She couldn’t think of a better one at the moment.

It was only a few hours that had passed since Fire Time began, while cleaning a window on the third floor, that she finally saw Subaru-kun for the first time since that morning. He was sitting under a tree in the courtyard, chatting with Emilia, and seemingly having fun—though she was too far to see their expressions.

“Subaru-kun looks so cute when he’s having fun. Though, I suppose he’s always cute, hehe.” Despite thinking that, Rem couldn’t stop herself from feeling that same sharp pain in her chest she’d from earlier. Luckily, it seemed she could resist the pain and urge to cough better than that morning. It seemed it really was just a passing cough.

“—Foolish maid, how long are you going to keep up this charade, I wonder?”

It seemed Rem encountered someone unexpected. Turning around, she witnessed a rare sight; the mansion’s resident shut-in and Great Spirit, Beatrice, leaving the Forbidden Library. Although she had her usual annoyed and indifferent expression, it seemed there was something like concern hiding beneath it.

Bowing down and performing a curtsy, Rem put on the same strained smile. “Good afternoon, Beatrice-sama. What brings you out of the Forbidden Library?”

“Is it not obvious, I wonder? It seems you’ve been affected by that man’s stupidity as well as his tendency to overwork himself, I suppose.”

“You flatter me, Beatrice-sama.”

“That wasn’t meant to be a compliment, in fact! And don’t ignore my other comment!” Rem could start to see why Subaru-kun found it so fun to tease the poor spirit. Rem mentally laughed to herself at that thought; at least, she thought she did. Apparently, she must not have hidden it well, as Beatrice started huffing and puffing and stomping her feet at Rem's reaction, which Rem couldn’t help but find adorable.

“It was foolish of Betty to worry about you, I suppose! It seems Betty will just have to knock you out to prevent you from overworking yourself.”

“You’re worried about me? It seems Subaru-kun has affected you as well, Beatrice-sama.” Rem’s smile turned a touch more natural at that realization. Subaru-kun really had a way to influence the people around him for the better.

“While it brings Rem much joy, Rem believes you needn’t stress yourself as the daily chores are being taken care of. How could I be overworking myself?”

“If Betty doesn’t worry about you, the other maid and especially that irritating butler will definitely come to nag her later, in fact. That is all. And don’t try to pretend that you’re well, I suppose. You’ve been cleaning the same spot on that window for a while now, staring at those two lovebirds. If you really weren’t overworking yourself, then why don’t you put away that horn of yours, I wonder?”

Hearing that last sentence, Rem immediately dropped her cleaning supplies and brought a hand up to her forehead. There, just like Beatrice had said, her oni horn had manifested.

“But I didn’t even notice it?”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t even realize you brought it out? You really must be in a worse state than Betty thought. Come follow Betty quickly if you don’t want to worry the others, I suppose.”

The nearest door to the pair of girls swung open, but the guest room it had once led to was no longer there—in its stead stood the Forbidden Library. Beatrice started beckoning Rem over with her back turned, walking inside without looking at Rem. Getting the message, Rem darted inside the Forbidden Library before the door slammed shut. Beatrice’s Door Crossing would give them privacy from all the mansion residents, except for Subaru-kun.

“Now then, Betty has an idea of what may be affecting you, but she needs confirmation before she can make a confident diagnosis, in fact. Please answer her questions truthfully, I suppose.” Beatrice pulled out a book from a lower shelf before, very cutely, hopped onto the stool in the middle of the room.

Nodding in reply to her question, Rem prepared herself for whatever invasive questions she had for her. “Very well, Beatrice-sama. The sooner we get this over with, the better.”

“First, what is the idiotic butler to you?”

A beat passed.

“Eh?”

“Hmm? Was Betty not clear enough, I wonder? Betty will rephrase the question then. What kind of relationship do you have — or want to have — with him? Simply put, what do you feel for him?”

“Wait wait wait! I understand your question well enough, Beatrice-sama! It’s just, what do my feelings on Subaru-kun have to do with my current condition?” Rem was fighting, and failing, to stop a blush from forming on her cheeks. Beatrice’s question had stunned her so much that she momentarily forgot her maid persona.

“It has everything to do with what’s affecting you, I suppose.” How was Rem supposed to react to that?! She was expecting to be asked about her physical health, not interrogated on her love life by a 400 year old shut-in! This was the wrong type of invasive question she was preparing herself for!

“—Tsk, hurry up and answer the question before Betty changes her mind about helping you, I suppose.” Beatrice started rhythmically tapping her fingers onto the book in her hands as she seemed to gradually grow more and more annoyed at Rem’s hesitation. Sensing the danger in delaying any further, Rem hastily composed herself and got to work on pondering her question.

“What is Subaru-kun to me?”

Well, to answer that, Rem thought about Subaru-kun’s relationships with the other mansion residents. He was obviously closest to Emilia, whom he saved from Elsa in the capital and never discriminated against for her resemblance to the Witch, earning him the place of her first and closest friend. Beatrice, despite what she may say, was intrigued by the boy, as he always managed to effortlessly find the Forbidden Library’s door and refused to leave her alone. Rem’s own sister, Ram, seemed to treat him like a little brother of sorts, playfully insulting and teasing him which he would indignantly deny, following a song and dance of insults only they seemed to be able to follow. And while Roswaal and Puck weren’t as close to him as the rest, Roswaal clearly wanted him around the mansion, and Puck appreciated his presence, if only for Emilia’s sake.

As for Rem herself?

Closing her eyes, Rem thought deeply on her own feelings for Subaru-kun. She imagined Subaru-kun’s face, his surprisingly soft hair spiked up in that awful hairstyle, eyes that would scare off anyone unfamiliar with him, a stupid smile plastered on. He’d be talking a mile a minute, hands moving this way and that, and his posture horribly bent and looking so uncomfortable that Rem wanted to forcibly fix it. Maybe he’d strike one of his off poses, yelling out one of his nonsensical catchphrases only he understood…

And Rem wouldn’t change a single thing about him. He always put his all into whatever he was doing. His enthusiasm was contagious, so much so that you couldn’t help but laugh and smile with him around. He was so, so very kind. Despite how awkward he came off initially, he always knew what words to say, when to say them, and who to say them to.

She was lovestruck, plain and simple.

Ever since that fateful day, the day he saved her, she’d changed. Gone was the emotionless, dutiful maid of Mather’s Mansion, living only to enact revenge on the Witch Cult for Ram and their clan’s sake; In her place appeared a bright, bubbly girl, enjoying her life as a maid with her sister and the rest of the mansion residents, living each day for herself. She no longer lived to be Ram’s substitute, being eaten away by guilt, but lived instead as simply Rem.

Just Rem.

And it was all thanks to Subaru. Could you blame the girl for falling head over heels for him?

Rem wanted to spend as much time as she could with Subaru-kun; whether it was walking next to him on the way to Arlam Village, cooking with him in the kitchen to prepare lunch or create one of his culinary inventions, or working with him while doing chores. The way Subaru-kun looked back to make sure she kept up with him, his goofy boyish grin when he achieved the taste he was aiming for, the way he cracked jokes and had fun no matter how tiring each task was; all of it only made Rem love Subaru-kun that much more.

Before she knew it, a genuine warm smile, not the strained one she had on the entire day, spread across her face, and she could feel her face starting to warm up. What did she feel for Subaru-kun? Well, the answer was obvious to both her and Beatrice at this point.

Bu~ut, it was embarrassing to say it out loud, especially to Beatrice, whom she wasn’t particularly close to. So, she opted for a different answer.

“Subaru-kun is Rem’s hero, of course!” Rem beamed as she gave her reply. It wasn’t the whole story, but that didn’t make it any less true.

However, it seemed Beatrice saw right through her. “Do you take Betty for a fool, I wonder? If you truly only see the boy as your hero, then how do you explain your attitude towards him, I wonder? Admiration doesn’t even begin to explain the things Betty has seen you do for him.  Beatrice seemed to grow exceedingly exasperated as she continued talking (which was very cute). Though, it was quite embarrassing knowing that her feelings were obvious even to the Great Spirit.

“Answer once more, and be truthful this time or Betty won’t help you anymore, I suppose.”

Rem grew a bit more timid as she tried to think of a better answer, her cheeks flushing while imagining different ways to describe their relationship. Eventually, she settled for:

“Subaru-kun is… someone special to me.” She finally whispered as her final answer.

Beatrice stared at her for a long moment, before sighing and shaking her head.

“That answer will have to do, I suppose. Next question: What do you think of the brainless half-elf?”

“You shouldn’t refer to Emilia-sama that way, Beatrice-sama.” Rem jokingly scolded, which elicited a “Hmph!” from her. Luckily, Rem was more prepared for her question now that she expected it.

“I think Emilia-sama is amazing. Recently, we’ve been having tea together, and I’ve learned many things about her: She can’t sing very well, is clumsy with her hands, and is quite gullible. But, she’s also hardworking, kind, and energetic—though it seems even she gets nervous. I want to know more about her, and to help her succeed in the Royal Selection. Though… I can’t help but feel slightly envious of how much time she spends with Subaru-kun.”

“It seems you’re more honest when it comes to the half-elf, I suppose. Now, the final question: What do you think of the two of them together? Romantically, in fact.”

The two of them together? That… is a very real possibility. Subaru-kun was obviously head over heels for her, and although Emilia’s innocence made her as oblivious as a rock, Subaru-kun was the closest man to her. Surely his persistence would one day get through to her, and if Emilia had any sense of taste in partners, she would surely fall for him too. They’d be the perfect couple.

So why did her chest hurt so much? Why did it feel like something was trying to break out her chest, making her want to scream? Repressing it only seemed to make her very heart ache, as if it were wrapped in thorns.

Rem knew why, of course. But as long as Subaru-kun and Emilia were happy, that was all that mattered. That was her answer.

“I think… they look good together.” A sombre, strained smile was all she could muster anymore.

“Betty sees.” Beatrice looked at her with concern, not even bothering to hide it this time. “Could you repeat that answer without your horn manifested, I wonder?”

Ah, that’s right. Her horn was out for some reason. Well, it should be an easy task to say it again without her horn, after all, it wasn’t like she was—

As soon as her horn disappeared, a torrent of thoughts, ugly and passionate , flooded her mind. Did she want Subaru-kun and Emilia to get together? No! Of course not! She was the one who loved Subaru-kun! But as she was about verbalize her answer:

Rem crumpled onto the ground like a crumpled napkin, hunched over with one hand clutching at her chest, the other covering her mouth. She went into a coughing fit, worse than the previous two she experienced earlier in the day. This time, something really was going to come out. It was as if spikes were being ripped from her lungs, tearing through her throat, before finally reaching her mouth.

With one final wretch, whatever it was in her lungs was finally expelled, along with a small pool of blood on her hand. Rem was lightheaded and on the verge of passing out, but she took one final look at what was in her hands, and saw:

“A flower petal?”

Nothing made sense anymore. Rem couldn’t think straight, a fog was covering her mind, obfuscating any line of thought she had. She finally ran out of steam. After all, she hadn’t eaten anything for either breakfast or lunch, and she’d been running on fumes the whole day. The only reason she made it so far without feeling exhausted was because of her horn making up for the missing energy.

Fully collapsing on the ground, the last thing she saw before fainting was Beatrice rushing over to her, looking unusually panicked.

“It’s worse than Betty thought, in fact. How could it get this bad so quickly?!”

With that, Rem finally lost consciousness.

When Rem finally came to, she felt a wet sensation on her forehead. Opening her eyes, she could see the intricate details of the ceiling, its ornate design telling her she was in a guest room. She tried to get up, before realizing just how heavy her body was, and how weak she felt.

“Rem? Are you finally awake?”

A gentle voice, lacking any of its usual sharpness, came from the left side of her bed. Turning her head allowed her to catch a glimpse of her sister’s face in the flickering lantern light. Her persona of the aloof maid of the Mather’s Mansion was gone, replaced by an uncharacteristically worried face with her true feelings on display.

“Nee-sama—?” Rem began, but was immediately cut off thanks to another set of dry coughs. Noticing this, her sister reached out to the pitcher next to her bed and poured a cup of water for Rem, which she eagerly drank.

“What time is it?”

“It’s Darksun already, Rem. You passed out around six hours ago.”

Instead of her sister replying, it was another, deeper voice, but one she enjoyed hearing just as much. To her right was Subaru-kun, wringing a freshly wet cloth until it was only damp. His hands hovered over her forehead to pick up the now warm cloth, brushing her bangs back as he did so. The touch of his fingers would normally cause her heart to flutter, but she felt so weak and tired that she couldn’t muster the energy to get excited, though she cherished it nonetheless. Her body was burning up as Subaru-kun placed the new cloth onto her forehead. Rem couldn’t help herself from letting out a hum of satisfaction from the cooling sensation on her head.

“What happened?” was all she could muster.

“After you passed out, Beako used her Door Crossing to get me to help carry you here, and Ram to help change and wash you up. Apparently your whole respiratory system was in terrible condition, added to the fact you had a fever and hadn’t eaten the whole day, it’s a miracle you managed to work as much as you did.”

“You couldn’t use your horn to heal yourself either, considering you overused it the whole day. Ram will have to thank Beatrice-sama later for helping heal you. Don’t frighten your poor Onee-chan like that again, oh-kay Rem?”

Her sister’s voice quivered on that last sentence. When she looked at Subaru-kun, he had a similarly concerned expression. Rem really outdid herself this time, didn’t she? It seemed that in trying to stop the two people she loved most from fretting, she only made more trouble for them.

“Rem apologizes for worrying you both. I’ll be more careful next time, I promise.” Subaru-kun and her sister’s faces noticeably lightened, seemingly satisfied with her answer.

“Good. Now, you must be hungry. Barusu was useful for once and made some porridge for you.”

“A simple ‘good job’ would’ve been enough, you know! You don’t have to insult me everytime.”

“Why should Ram praise a Barusu for doing the bare minimum? In fact, Ram should punish you for shouting in a sick person’s room.”

“THAT’S NOT—! I mean, that’s not fair…!”

As Rem was gently fed the warm porridge by her sister, the atmosphere of the room slowly transformed back into that familiar comfortable mood whenever the three of them were together, albeit slightly tense. Her sister playfully slinging insults at Subaru-kun while he desperately tried (and failed) to defend himself; though it was obvious they were trying to cheer her up, Rem couldn’t help giggling like she always did.

Eventually, Rem finished eating all of her porridge, the warmth spreading through her body and giving her the energy to sit and try to stand up.

“Oh, absolutely not, Rem-rin. You still need to get some bedrest until tomorrow. Doctor’s orders.”

“But—!”

Rem wanted to argue with him, but her cough decided to come back at the worst time. As much as she wanted to deny it, she was definitely still too weak to work effectively. As calmed herself down and drank another glass of water, the door creaked open and a figure stepped inside.

“Ignoring his drivel, that boy is right, I suppose. You are not nearly well enough to go back to work, not to mention Betty hasn’t even explained what is affecting you, in fact.” Beatrice said, walking with as much regality as a small girl could.

“You mean my sister doesn’t just have a simple fever?”

“That is correct, in fact. You two will have to leave while Betty explains it to her.”

“I’m thoroughly impressed, Beatrice-sama, I didn’t know you had an endowed sense of humor.” Her sister said, sarcasm dripping from her voice. “That wasn’t a joke, I suppose.” Beatrice snapped back, scowling back at her. The tension that arose from their interaction was suffocating. Rem could almost see the sparks flying from the glare they shared.

It seemed she wasn’t the only one who noticed, as Subaru-kun hastily stepped in between the two with his arms held up, separating them. “Okay, okay! Let’s not fight while Rem is still sick, alright? I don’t think she needs the extra stress.” He yelled out, turning his head to her sister.

“Ram, I know you’re worried about your sister, but I’m sure she doesn’t want you to listen in if it’s anything embarrassing. If it was serious, I’m sure she’ll tell you herself. Patient confidentiality and all that.” He switched his attention to Beatrice before continuing, “And Beako, you should really explain yourself better instead of just acting like everyone should know what you’re talking about. It just creates unnecessary conflict.”

The two temporarily shifted their glares onto Subaru-kun, causing him to visibly stiffen, before eventually looking away.

“Very well then, Ram will need to punish Barusu anyway for daring to speak up to his senior.” Her sister finally replied.

Subaru-kun breathed a sigh of relief, before her words caught up to him. “Wait, I’m being punished?!” He sputtered as her sister grabbed him by the collar and started dragging him out of the room.

“That, in addition to once again shouting in a patient’s room. Fear not, Ram is a merciful senior, so you will still be able to work tomorrow. Be grateful.” That was the last thing she heard from the two of them before they left the room, barring Subaru-kun’s muffled shouts of protests.

“Good grief, those two are finally gone, I suppose. That took more effort than necessary. That boy has his uses now and then, I suppose.” Beatrice began once more. The two were alone again, though this time Rem was the one sitting down.

“Is there any particular reason why my sister couldn’t be here? I understand why Subaru-kun had to go, but surely my sister would be fine?” Now that the tension had dissipated, Rem couldn’t help questioning Beatrice’s decision.

“Must you all question Betty, I wonder? Has your sister not tried hiding her condition from you before, and vice versa, in fact? Additionally, this matter in particular is rather complicated and requires the utmost privacy, so Betty will leave the decision to share it to you once she finishes explaining, I suppose.” Her words were a bit harsh, and she was clearly annoyed, but Rem could tell Beatrice was trying to be considerate of her feelings. It warmed her heart.

“Very well, Beatrice-sama. Rem will listen carefully. The sooner she recovers, the better for the mansion.” Rem smiled as she answered Beatrice. Her reaction wasn’t quite what she expected though, as Beatrice had a surprisingly grim look on her face.

“I suppose Betty will have to begin with a question, I suppose. You are in love with the foolish butler, are you not?” Beatrice bluntly asked.

Rem could feel a blush coming on, and she prepared to deny it before she saw the serious scowl on her face, grim expression plastered on. She had to be completely honest this time.

“Yes, I am.”

“Then it is as Betty suspected.” At that, Beatrice’s face turned downcast as her hand reached into her pocket. “Do you remember what you coughed up before you passed out, I suppose?”

Beatrice brought out a folded napkin, unfolding it and displaying its contents to Rem. Rem realized it was the flower petal she choked up; specifically, it seemed to be the petal of a Red Carnation, in shockingly good condition for something that she coughed up.

“How did a Red Carnation petal get in my chest? I don’t think we have any in our gardens.” She would know, she maintained all of them after all.

“That’s because it didn’t come from the garden, in fact. It grew from you.” Rem tilted her head in confusion at that. Beatrice stayed unexpectedly calm as she continued explaining, “When someone believes their love goes unrequited, it can sometimes manifest itself as flowers growing within their lungs and chest as flowers, in fact. The flowers feed on the person’s Od and mana, which may eventually kill them. This condition is called Hanahaki, and it is what’s affecting you, I suppose.”

The information hit Rem like a ground dragon at full speed. Unrequited love? Eventually killing her? What kind of sick joke was that? Nothing was making sense, her head was spinning, causing her to lie back down on the bed. Beatrice watched all of this with an unchanging solemn expression, waiting for her to say something.

“…Is there a cure?” was all she managed to squeeze out.

“Betty doesn’t know, I suppose. In the four hundred years Betty’s been alive, the number of cases she’s heard about could be counted on one hand, in fact. Only one managed to survive, and from what Betty understands, it was because he fell out of love.”

Rem couldn’t believe her ears. She manages to contract one of the rarest diseases, one that not even a 400 year old spirit knows the cure to, and the only way for her to recover was to give up, and let go of her love? This had to be some kind of joke, right? Yes, Beatrice must have learned to tell jokes from Subaru-kun. It was funny, hilarious even. So much so that Rem began to laugh.

“Haha… Hahaha! Rem didn’t know you could tell jokes like that, Beatrice-sama! Looks like Nee-sama was right afterall. Rem almost believed you for a second, but it all lines up too well to be anything but funny! While Rem appreciates your attempt at cheering her up, she believes it was in rather poor taste. So, Beatrice-sama, you should drop the act and—”

“Again, that wasn’t a joke, I suppose.” Beatrice interrupted in the quietest voice Rem had ever heard her speak in, even after years of knowing her. Her face was still as solemn as before, but Rem could tell there was something else beneath her mask. Was it… pity? Well, of course she pitied her. Her situation wasn’t exactly enviable, was it?

“I finally found a reason to live again, a reason to live as Rem. I fell in love, I started talking more with Emilia-sama, and grew even closer with my sister. And now I’m going to die? Th-This isn’t funny at all.” Warm tears started to stream down her face, and when she wiped them away more continued to fall. She wanted to say more, complain to the person nearest to her, but only sobs came out, muffled by the blanket she held up to her mouth. She curled into herself and turned away from Beatrice, which she seemed to take a sign to leave.

“Betty will inform your sister on what’s happening to you, but will leave it up to you whether or not to explain the details, I suppose. For now, get some rest.” With that final word, Beatrice clicked open the door to enter the Forbidden Library, leaving Rem alone in a silent room, save for her sobs.

Tears stained the bedsheets, flowing unrelentingly as she tried and failed holding them in. Wiping them away caused her cheeks to grow raw from the friction, leaving streaks of red as she grew too tired to continue the action. Her chest hurt, not just from the sharp pain when breathing but from the feelings chained around heart. She wanted to cry out, to ask someone to comfort her, to tell her it was going to be okay; but she couldn’t give herself that luxury and bother someone else. And so the world stayed silent, leaving Rem to wallow in her misery until she lost the energy to do even that, letting the mercy of sleep take her.

Rem woke up in the middle of the night struggling to breathe, moonlight dancing along with the curtains waving in the chilly night time breeze. Her coughs were wet and scratchy as she hacked up the build-up of mucus and phlegm in her throat. Once she was done, she sat up and reached to the nightstand with her right hand to grab some water, only to find something already in its grasp. Looking up, she saw the adorable sleeping face of Subaru-kun, wearing his pajamas. He was hugging a pillow with his right arm and leaning back in a chair; though it seemed he’d just been stirred awake.

“Subaru-kun? Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be sleeping in your own room?” Rem questioned him, her still sick and sleepy mind confused at his presence.

Subaru-kun snapped to attention when he heard Rem’s voice, and put on a tired but real smile. “Hey, Rem-rin. I couldn’t sleep knowing that I’d wake up from a nightmare instead of your face, so I decided to sleep here instead. This way, I won’t get any nightmares, AND make sure you’re alright. Two birds with one stone—genius, isn’t it?” He replied groggily, before handing her the cup of water she was aiming for.

“So let me be selfish for a bit, okay?” He quietly finished his answer, almost as if he didn’t want Rem to hear him. It was apparent to her that he was lying; he was clearly here to comfort her, not the other way around. The realization made her so happy that she almost dropped the glass, Subaru-kun barely managing to grab it before it dropped onto the bed.

“Careful now, wouldn’t want to make more work for tomorrow since you won’t be able to do any for now.” Subaru-kun joked, but it unfortunately had the opposite effect as it caused a pang of guilt to go though Rem.

“Rem is sorry. Because she was stubborn, now you and Nee-sama will have to do more work.” She was going to continue, but before she could, a finger flicked her on the forehead.

“You really need to stop blaming yourself for things that are out of your control. Ram and I can handle the mansion’s upkeep for a week. Heck, Ram could do with doing some actual work. I thought we’ve talked about this before, but I guess the fever made you forget: Let’s lean on each other as we move forward, okay?” At that, he reached his hand over to her head and ruffled her hair affectionately, unaware of the effect it had on Rem. Embarrassed and flustered, Rem quickly lied back down and covered herself with the blanket, though still facing him. A pang of something bittersweet filled her chest, knowing she wouldn’t be able to enjoy moments like these for much longer.

Rem ignored those thoughts, they weren’t as important as the boy in front of her. “Thank you, Subaru-kun. For staying with Rem tonight.” She mumbled, sounding muffled due to the blanket covering her mouth. Subaru-kun snickered at that, heightening her embarrassment.

“A ‘thank you’ feels a hundred times better than an apology. Now, we should go to sleep so you can recover and so I can get ready for a very hard day of work. Good night, Rem.” As he finished his little speech, a yawn escaped his lips, causing him to lean back into his chair and close his eyes.

Rem stared at Subaru-kun’s face as he gradually drifted off back to sleep. Despite her own fatigue, she could feel her heart going a mile a minute. She slowly caressed his hand with her own, moving her thumb in circular motion around the back of his hand. And, before she could help herself, she whispered:

“Good night, Subaru-kun. I love you.”

As she listened to the rhythm of Subaru-kun’s breathing, covering the cruel silence with the soothing sound, her eyes started to grow heavy and her own breathing slowed. For the final time that day, Rem let her exhaustion take over her. This time though, no worries plagued her mind, and her heart was light.