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“This is unacceptable!”
“What kind of stupid RNG is this?!”
Their shouts echoed in unison against the walls of their small hotel room, the door clicking shut behind them. But no amount of yelling changed the sight in front of them.
A tiny, underfurnished room…
…and only one bed.
There was no way. This had to be some kind of joke. Or maybe, the joke was on them for trusting Crowley to do anything without cutting corners and costs. The hotel itself had been extremely unimpressive, with Azul’s nose wrinkling at the sight of the foyer and Idia already grumbling about the slow wifi, and both of them cringing at the overly bright, garishly patterned carpet in the halls.
But this? This was way worse than all that combined.
It wasn’t even a king-sized bed! Queen at most! And only two pillows, not enough to form a barrier.
The room was otherwise fairly bare, with two nightstands, a wardrobe, and an outdated TV. No other options to sleep in.
Wait.
Idia ducked his head into the small bathroom.
Nope, no tub.
No other options.
“Idia-san.” Azul’s voice came, disconcertingly calm and overly pleasant, like it got when Idia pulled one over on him in board game club. Oh, he was pissed.
“Give me a moment while I call the front desk and aim to resolve this clear mistake in our accommodations.”
Idia nodded, quick enough to blur his vision, hair flickering at the edges like a lightstick.
“A-ah, o-of course, Azul-shi, go work your ult, I’ll be here.”
And then he practically dove into the corner of the room, hiding beside the awful, tiny, torturous bed. He scrambled for his phone, sweaty palms nearly fumbling it, before he managed to open the Clamor app to message Ortho.
[gloomurai & o.shroud]
>> ortho
>> major sos i can feel my hp being depleted at a rapid rate
>> no amount of xp from wrecking noobs at the convention could be worth this
Brother?? <<
did something happen at the convention? <<
do i need to order a drone strike? <<
>> nah nah nah
>> you know i could do that myself if i needed to
>> no its way worse
>> drone strikes cant fix it
>> unless i strike myself
>> and then azul-shi would posthumously bill styx for his death and damages…
>> not worth the loss
>> probably
okay!! <<
if it wasn’t some ragebaiter at the con, then what happened ૮₍˶Ó﹏Ò ⑅₎ა <<
>> hotel messed up the accommodations
>> it’s a total trope come to life
>> cliche after cliche
brother? <<
>> theres. just. one. BED
ohhhhh <<
OHHHH <<
idy this is great!!!! <<
>> ???????????
>> are you malfunctioning??
>> what kind of bug makes you say this nonsense?!
Its the perfect opportunity!! <<
total speedrun tactic unlocked!! <<
>> wdym??
on your quest for azul ashengrotto’s heart!! <<
Because you have that huuuuuuge crush on him…? <<
It’s perfect! (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ <<
Ortho might be the technomantic humanoid of the two, but Idia could’ve sworn he bluescreened in that moment. Complete processing error, total restart required.
No way! Him and Azul-shi??
They weren’t in the same field at all. Idia was a beta build character, and Azul was an optimized must-pull. Even if he liked Azul—which he did not—there was no story path where it could possibly work out. His face was hot in embarrassment even imagining whatever attempt Ortho wished he would make.
What if Azul saw the messages?
A shiver ran down his spine. It was probably impossible, considering Idia had sequestered himself in the corner and had his phone brightness as low as his eyes could handle, but the whisper of fear was unrelenting. The beauty of an anxiety disorder, he supposed. He had to check.
Idia peeked up over the edge of the bed to look at where Azul was standing stone-faced, other than a twitching eye, as he talked passionately on the phone about the “unacceptable issue” in their room. Azul paced, carving divots in the grimey shag carpet while he lectured whatever poor hotel worker was on the other side of the room telephone. GG Azul. Idia would gladly let Azul take the fire on that front. His charisma was unparalleled anyway. Idia’s presence even near a phone call created an extra big debuff.
Yet another reason the two would never work out. Not that Idia wanted them to. He was just smart enough to know it wasn’t possible.
His phone vibrated from where it was clutched in his hands. Ah, Ortho had sent more messages. He must’ve worried him, like usual. He was such a sad excuse for a big brother.
Idy? <<
r u there? <<
i hope i didn’t stress you out (╥﹏╥) <<
i thought it would be good for you but i might’ve miscalculated <<
sorry brother ˙◠˙ <<
>> srry got distracted
>> just an in person quick time i had to deal with
>> ur big brother didnt mean to worry you
>> not ur fault
oh good!! <<
thats a relief (づ◡﹏◡)づ <<
>> ah azul wants to talk
>> probably verbally shook down the hotel well enough to get free rooms of our own
>> y’know how he works
>> gtg ortho
>> make sure no one touches my pc
got it! <<
hope the convention goes well!!! <<
… <<
and good luck with azul ashengrotto ദ്ദി◝ ⩊ ◜.ᐟ <<
>> ...
>> thx ortho
Idia sighed, knocking his head against the mattress, letting the soft thump, thump, thump noise of his repetitive motion serve as a guide for his slowly settling heartbeat.
“Idia-san?”
“Ahh–!” Idia shrieked, fumbling with his phone and jerking up with enough force to smack his back against the bedside table. Fucking ow. He was losing HP left and right. So much for a calmed down heartrate…
“Pardon me, I didn’t mean to startle you. I just got off the phone with the hotel staff and thought it right to share the…news…with you.”
To most, Azul-shi’s tone would come off as smooth and unaffected. To Idia, who’d been playing board games with him for the better part of two years, it was clear he was minutes away from scattering the metaphorical monopoly board. Here, he was more likely to draft a lawsuit or something.
“...’m guessing it didn’t go well?” Idia muttered, thankful the room was small enough to make his quiet words audible.
Azul sighed.
“No, it did not. Apparently, our dear Headmage put the request in wrong, on top of booking at this subpar hotel. It was not a mistake in the room. And he will not pay for an upgrade. Of course, if that were the only issue, I’m sure we could’ve figured out a way to appropriately split the costs for proper comfort.”
(I.E, create a meticulously written contract to divide payment between the two of them so Azul wasn’t spending a thumark extra, but also wasn’t indebted to Idia in any way. Not that Idia would’ve been keeping track. A crappy hotel room wouldn’t be enough to put a dent in his account.)
“Guessing we’ve got more issues…” Idia rolled his eyes. “Of course the universe is trying to find endless ways to de-buff us.”
“Yes, I suppose you could put it like that.” Azul pushed his glasses up with his finger, which did little to hide the frustrated tick in his brow. “Unfortunately, any rooms fitting our needs are booked.”
No way. Nooooo way. He must be hearing wrong. This cannot be the trap it’s appearing to be.
“Don’t tell me…”
Azul barreled on, uncaring of Idia’s rising panic.
“There are no other rooms for us to switch to. Which means we’ll have to make do with what we have.”
“No, no, no, no, no–” Idia whispered.
“Yes,” Azul exhaled exasperatedly. “We’ll have to share the bed.”