Chapter Text
The silence between them said more than words ever could, there was a sense of cold awkwardness about the room despite the warmth of their bodies next to one another. Tsubasa sighed, gazing out of the window blankly. A sense of unease and worry preyed on her mind, she looked beside her at Honoka; Who was happily watching TV and clinging to her arm, oblivious to the suffocating pressure that was bearing down on Tsubasa. For weeks now worry had been consuming Tsubasa’s thoughts, ever since an idol magazine published a column speculating about their relationship. With images of them out together at cafes, restaurants, parks, anywhere that wasn’t their homes. Ever since then, the fans were rampant with discussion. Of course, it was controversial. Idols weren’t meant to have relationships to begin with, and they especially weren’t supposed to have them with their rival group’s leader. And yet here Tsubasa was, sat together with Honoka Kousaka at her home watching some random romantic drama. She took out her phone and scrolled though, it had been two weeks since the article was published and it still wasn’t calming down in the slightest. She briefly smiled at some support of them as a couple, but was then greeted by a cavalcade of gossip articles. Turning her phone off she sighed again, staring at the ceiling and wishing that this would all blow over and she could start spending time with Honoka normally.
Tiredly she moved closer into Honoka, finding herself in her arms within an instant. Honoka frowned slightly, tilting her head as she looked at Tsubasa’s haggard expression. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
Tsubasa looked back at her, she felt trapped. As if a serpent were slowly constricting her, waiting for her breath to run out. Freedom was an impossibility at this rate, their relationship was under house arrest and they had no choice but to lay down and accept it. “N-nothing.” Tsubasa muttered, pressing her face into Honoka’s shoulder.
“Tsubasa-chan. Don’t give me that. What is it?” Honoka responded, taking Tsubasa by the chin and pulling her face away. Looking into her eyes with a look consumed by concern.
Tsubasa froze, her gaze unable to move from Honoka’s eyes. She wanted desperately to lie, or tell her everything was fine, something to avoid the situation. But there was nothing she could do. A pair tears formed from the corner of her eyes, trickling down her face. Nothing else came; She wouldn’t let it, crying wouldn’t help. Remaining silent, she tried to articulate her words and struggled. Until finally a few words were squeezed out of her throat “I wish we were free.” Immediately she regretted it, what she had said made no sense. Angrily she groaned and softly headbutted Honoka, burying her face into her once again.
It took Honoka a couple of seconds to understand “Ohhh. Is this about the article again?” she asked, running a hand through Tsubasa’s hair. Briefly she frowned to herself, the same thoughts had been plaguing her for a while too. It didn’t get to her as much as it did Tsubasa, while Muse were popular. They still weren’t the number one school idol group, deep down Honoka knew she’d never understand how it was for Tsubasa, with all of the world’s spotlights aimed directly at her. Although she could never understand she tried, because that was all she could really do and in her eyes. As long as she could do something for her, that was enough. “It’ll be okay. Don’t worry. I mean, who cares if they get some pictures of us hanging out? As far as they know we’re just out together. They only think we’re dating, they don’t know!” Silence. Immediately she knew her words didn’t help. Honoka sighed, and pulled Tsubasa even closer to her simply holding her and stroking her hair, comforting her until she calmed down.
A little while later, Tsubasa pulled away. “Thank you, Honoka-chan. Um. I’m sorry…”
Honoka smiled in response.. “It’s okay. You’ve got Anju and Erena coming over for practice soon, don’t you?”
Tsubasa mirrored Honoka’s smile, it was impossible for her not to. No matter what situation, seeing Honoka smile made her happy. “Oh, yeah. I do. I’m sorry.” she said, her smile starting to fade before Honoka took her face in her hands.
“Okay! Good luck! I’l message you when you’re done, okay?” Honoka grinned, kissing Tsubasa’s forehead and standing up.
Blushing Tsubasa responded “Okay.” she stayed sat down, looking up at Honoka and smiling back. “Talk to you then.”
“Bye!” and with that single word, Honoka was gone and everything came crashing down on Tsubasa once again. An emptiness grew from the inside out, consuming her completely as the weight of the world returned to her shoulders.