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“Here you are!”
It didn’t come as a surprise to find Klee tinkering with her Dodoco ‘dolls’ nearby Starfell Lake. Lohen’s voice spook her, probably assuming it was Jean or someone in her stead, ready to send her to a solitary confinement room. Once her eyes focused on Lohen, she seemed to relax, though she didn’t approach him immediately.
“No need to be nervous,” he said, raising a hand in peace, while the other was still hidden behind his back. “I came here for a trade.”
Hook, line, and sinker — Klee was totally captivated and much more at ease. It was then that Lohen showed her what he was keeping hidden behind his back. Just yesterday, he’d asked Diona what were some of Klee’s favorites sweets or treats. They’d been getting along surprisingly well for what Lohen had initially expected, with Diona’s general aversion to Knights. Apparently, since Diona had learnt that he disliked alcohol, he’d earned himself a positive score with her.
Lohen kneeled down in front of Klee and spread out an abundance of different treats, ranging from biscuits to small fish cakes and even chocolate pralines he’d packaged in Dodoco-shaped boxes.
“Lohen, you’re the best!”
“I’m honored Spark Knight,” he said, smiling at the excited kid. Usually being surrounded by kids was a certified way of annihilating his social batteries, but Klee was very entertaining, in particular when she brought out her explosives. “They’re all yours but… I need your help,” he said, in a conspiratorial tone.
Klee tilted her head, though her gaze didn’t leave the sweets and treats Lohen had brought her. “Are they all for Klee? Pinky promise? Klee is always ready to help her friends!”
“A honor’s knight,” Lohen said, extending his pinky so that he could swear on it, just like Klee had asked. “Thank you. Now… I just need a crayon.”
She blinked, as if puzzled. “A crayon… oh! Klee understands, Lohen wants to draw, too!” she said, excited. “We should invite Uncle Varka, too,” she added, taking out her crayon box and happily showing it to Lohen. “He always takes time to draw with me, when we’re stuck in…” she lowered her voice, as if whispering forbidden words, before cheering up again, “solitary confinement together. His drawings are always fun!”
Lohen chuckled, remembering how common it was, back in Nod-Krai, to find Varka’s doodles, on the border of official documents, much to Seamus’ chagrin.
“Spark Knight, you’re a genius!” he said, brightening Klee’s eyes. “I was thinking of involving dear Varka as well but,” — his voice lowered as if he were sharing a secret — “before the three of us can draw together, we absolutely need to test Uncle Varka!”
“Oh!”
Lohen nodded, matching Klee’s enthusiasm. “You see, he claimed a strong warrior could best terrifying monsters, even with just one crayon,” he said, and he could already see Klee reaching for one of her ‘dolls’ in excitement, “so we need to test if our dear Grand Master is already at such a legendary level!”
Klee was sold on the idea immediately. “And don’t worry,” she said, jumping on her feet as she took Lohen’s bribe, “Klee has her bombs ready, in case Uncle Varka needs help!” she said, earnestly.
Lohen couldn’t help but smile. “Very well,” he said, “then, let’s go find Uncle Varka!”
Since it was one of Varka’s rare free days and the night prior he’d outdrank everyone else at Angel’s Share, Lohen was confident he was still sleeping. Not only had Lohen been the one to accompany him back into his bed, last night, he was also certain both Rosaria and Razor were already out, one busy in Wolvendom with his buddies, the other dragged back to the church by an eager Barbara. It left Lohen with ample room to enter into Varka’s home, bypassing the entrance door to which he technically had a copy of its key, preferring to climb a tree with a sturdy branch protruding right under the window of Varka’s bedroom.
“Oh, is it like in a mission?” Klee asked, doing her best at keeping her voice low.
Lohen nodded. “Yeah, we always do this, it’s part of our… huh—our special game,” he said, taking in his surroundings one last time before starting his climb.
“Oh, sounds fun!” she exclaimed, before clamping both hands over her mouth, eyes wide, as she shook her head.
Lohen couldn’t help his laugh. “Relax,” he said, “no one’s here anyway.”
Just as Lohen had left it last night, the window in Varka’s bedroom was left ajar, which made sneaking in a lot easier.
Unfortunately, he could barely take two steps in that what could only be described as an oversized dog barreled into him, pressing him down onto the hard wooden floor.
“Oof, Varka—” Lohen laid there, though not without kicking into the back of Varka’s legs. “…I’m not a doggy bed.”
“A dog, eh?” Varka said, without even raising his head from the crook of Lohen’s neck. “You see, a certain brat keeps entering by the window, so maybe this guard dog needs to teach him a lesson.”
Lohen rolled his eyes, testing Varka’s hold on him, finding it surprisingly firm. “Very well,” he said, “but might I remind you who was here last night, making sure this old guard dog got back home, after drinking double his weight in liquor?”
“Only double?” Varka asked, scandalised. “Wait—what do you mean old?”
Lohen chuckled. “It’s no good for the Grand Master to slack off, even on his free day.”
“So you ambush me in my own home?” Varka asked, bracing himself above Lohen on his elbows. “You’ve a spare key, you know.”
Lohen rolled his eyes, again. “Actually, I came here to formally challenge you, together with the Spark Knight, who is very diligently waiting outside.” That got Varka’s attention.
“Huh?”
“Still not sober?”
“Don’t even joke about it,” he said, freeing Lohen and sitting down on the floor, between Lohen’s legs. “What about Klee?”
Lohen grinned. “I was talking with her and we both agreed you need to surpass a certain test.”
Varka seemed skeptic, but as it often happened when Lohen was involved, his curiosity overwhelmed his good sense. “What test?”
With a flourish, Lohen showed him Klee’s box of crayons. “A challenge to test the mightiest of heroes,” he said. He could already see the realization dawning on Varka as his cheeks dyed a light shade of pink. “Care to show us how the Grand Master can brandish a crayon and defeat a Ruin Guard?”
Varka’s incredulous laughter boomed in his bedroom. “Oh, you rascal…” he said, shaking his head. “Very well, but we might need to get a little farther away from Mondstadt City, just so not to encounter possible witnesses.”
Lohen raised an eyebrow. “And deprive them of your mighty show of chivalry?”
Varka huffed, standing up to face the open window from which Lohen had entered his room. “No… just in case Klee decides to join in, and we need an escape plan from Jean.”
In the end, Varka brought them to Stormbearer Point, avoiding the lonesome knight patrolling the area as if they were lowly criminals, which Lohen had to admit Klee was masterfully good at. In the area, apart from an abundance of hilichurls and slimes, a single Ruin Guard could be found, usually dormant lest an adventurer trespassed on the ruins it chose as its eternal rest.
“Here you go, Grand Master,” Lohen said, offering a bright red crayon to Varka, under Klee’s excited gaze.
“Ha! We’re really doing this,” he said, theatrically accepting the crayon as if invested of a sacred relic. “Then, Varka, Knight of Boreas, will embark on this perilous mission.”
“Don’t worry, Uncle Varka,” Klee said, showing him one of her ‘dolls’, “if you need help, Dodoco is here!”
“Much appreciated, Spark Knight,” Varka said, “but as the Grand Master, I can’t let this challenge best me.”
Lohen hummed. “Well then, good luck, Grand Master.” With those parting words, Varka set off for his challenge, the sun setting on the horizon dyeing his figure in warm hues.
As he watched Varka walk towards the Ruin Guard, still too far away to awaken it, he felt Klee’s gaze switch towards him. “Something the matter, Spark Knight?”
Klee seemed surprisingly pensive all of a sudden. “Why don’t you go, too?” she asked, offering him a blue crayon he was sure she’d used plenty of times to draw Kaeya.
Lohen tilted his head. “This is a challenge only for the mightiest of warriors,” he said.
It only seemed to confuse Klee further. “But-but you and Uncle Varka are great friends! My mom says you two are always together, and mom knows best!”
Lohen nearly choked on his spit. “Oh? Is that what that wi—I mean your mom says?”
Klee nodded, not noticing his near slip-up. “Here, for you! Klee can share more crayons with her friends.”
Lohen accepted the crayon, fondly smiling down at Klee — kids surely could be a handful. Then, he turned his attention back towards Varka, who had still to awaken the Ruin Guard. An idea worthy of a genius flashed right in his mind.
“Watch this, Spark Knight,” he said, infusing the crayon in his hand with a touch of cryo energy before throwing it, hitting the Ruin Guard square in its eye, awakening it right as Varka was getting ready.
Cheers erupted from Klee, just as Varka ducked under one of the Ruin Guard’s sweeping arms. Once Varka had thrown his own crayon at the Ruin Guard, admittedly crashing the enemy back against a pillar of the surrounding ruins, Klee also joined in on their fun, throwing one of her Dodoco-shaped bombs right between the Ruin Guard and Varka.
“Very well!” Varka said, shouting loud enough so that they could hear him. Then, he caught the bomb mid-air, swirled it with his own anemo and propelled it much harder against the Ruin Guard, which ended on the ground, after the grand explosion defeated it. Varka was certainly looking way too cheerful, posing for them with the explosion right behind him.
Lohen couldn’t help it. “Hey, Varka,” he said with a drawl, “don’t you think that all this ruckus has alerted that knight from before?” Lohen heard Klee gulp by his side, already looking out for an escape route. Varka also seemed suddenly way too sheepish. He ran towards them, grabbed Klee under his right arm, while he picked Lohen up on his left, and ran — ran far, far away from the crime scene.
Albedo had just finished cleaning up the table, after Klee had surprisingly fallen asleep on it, just as she’d finished her latest drawing, after dinner. He hadn’t heard of any incident from Jean, but Klee seemed to have found a way to spend all her energies anyway.
He put her to bed, then picked up her drawing, pinning it above the workshop bench, in his study. A small red witch was at the center of the drawing, undoubtedly representing Klee herself. The little witch wasn’t alone though, behind her was a greenish rabbit with a sharp smirk and a blue crayon raised as if it were a knife, while in front of her was a large blond dog standing tall as it fought off what Albedo assumed was a Ruin Guard, with a wide red sword and a flying Dodoco.
On closer inspection, Albedo chose not to question how accurate to reality Klee’s drawing was, suddenly remembering Jean’s latest debrief on an incident regarding anonymous adventurers and the Ruin Guard found in Stormbearer Point.