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…It was hard for Ryuji to imagine affording university.
Not that it wasn’t something he’d thought on a whole lot, especially the more time that passed. Wanted to make a better life for him and his mom, to repay her, in some way. But he was never the smartest guy, or talented, or… anything, really.
The one thing he was good at was running, and even that was taken away from him for a time.
Ugh, felt so stupid when he thought back on how much he wanted to give in. Throw in the towel, all because of that asshole that used him as an example to continue his shitty behavior and treatment of others. Why was he so willing to give up his future for him?
Wasn’t gonna live a punching bag. It was his future to take into his own hands—not Kamoshida’s, not anyone’s.
Doing that meant giving up a lot of other things. Mom especially had to sacrifice so much to get him into physical rehab, too. That wasn’t anything he’d ever brush off, but… leaving his friends to pursue that hurt. Almost second guessed that decision, told him mom to roll it all back, to stay exactly where he was.
…But that wouldn’t have been the right thing to do. He knew what. Everyone did. That’s why they all made their own separate paths to take their futures into their own hands.
Didn’t make his third year any easier.
Sure, he made friends—ones he got along with pretty well, honestly, after they got over the initial transfer mystery—but they never hung out much, after school. They talked between classes, at lunch, at practice. As soon as all that was done, though, they never invited him out. Ryuji made the effort a few times, but they never seemed all that interested.
Kept telling himself it didn’t matter. That's just how friends usually were. Sometimes, you had other priorities.
Even if he could rationalize it all to himself as much as he liked, damn, did it get boring.
At least he had his old friends. Well… sorta.
Admittedly, they were pretty bad at keeping in touch. All tried, but life got in the way time and time again… Yusuke never paid his phone bill, Ann was on a completely different schedule in the US, and Morgana couldn’t exactly text. Not to mention their senpais being busy with pursuing education that still felt so far out of reach.
Really, it was just him, Ren, and Futaba… Not that he didn’t love talking to them, because he did! Really! But… still, it felt a whole lot more empty than it used to.
Gave him a whole lot more time to consider what he wanted to do.
Of course he wanted to do track, but beyond that, he had no clue what to do for a major. There wasn’t anything he was all too passionate about that would’ve made a whole lotta sense.
Had to decide at some point; way sooner than he would have liked, honestly. Considered a couple things—health science, physical therapy, maybe even psychology—none if it felt right, though.
…Eventually, he decided on education.
Got a couple side eyes when he mentioned it to his new school friends. They couldn’t believe he would be able to teach kids when he barely got passing grades. Couldn’t blame them… wasn’t exactly sure, himself.
He wanted to be better than Kamoshida. He wanted to be able to reach out to kids like him. He wanted to do something meaningful.
All they did was laugh him off, and say sure, whatever, dude.
Laughed it off too—had to, even though it left him questioning if he would ever be capable of stuff like that in private.
Still didn’t give up. He couldn’t. Not on track, and definitely not on entrance exams. Even if it felt like hell to study for, sometimes… Wasn’t entirely alone in it, at least. He’d vent to Ren about it over text constantly, and they’d even get on call together to study together. Turned more into Ren tutoring him, most of the time, but it was nice to spend time together, even if it had to be only through a phone speaker.
By some miracle, that all paid off. He’d gotten into his top school, and gotten an almost full-ride. Hard to believe, when he got that letter… Immediately ran to his mom in the kitchen, and they immediately celebrated together.
Budgeting talk came after… While she wanted to cover everything herself, he insisted he’d get a part-time job to cover the rest of his expenses.
So he started putting in applications right, left, and center for places near campus. Needed to make enough to get a decent place on his own, since the commute wasn’t going to be feasible from the place he and mom lived.
Eventually, he ended up working at a coffee shop. Heh, felt poetic… until he realized he had no clue how to actually brew coffee, despite all the time he’d spent there. Hell, he didn’t even like coffee!
Thought he was gonna get fired the first time he brewed a cup… instead, the elder owner simply got up, pushed him aside, and showed him the real way to do it. Reminded him of Boss, in some ways, except a quieter sort of stern. The type that regulars just seemed to immediately find comfort in expelling all the deepest worries and secrets to.
That wasn’t something he could ever really get, as much as he tried to replicate it in the coming weeks. Got laughed off by an older lady, telling him that he should really try to be himself. Guess it was that obvious… then again, being subtle was something he could never do, as hard as he tried.
…Left some doubt in his mind, too. It felt stupid, really, but… part of him wondered if he really had what it took to be what he wanted to be. If he could ever be good enough. He’d gotten past the hard part, but what if he lost steam? What if it didn’t click? What… what if everything he did was for nothing?
Crack.
Damn…! Got too in his mind again, and a half-full coffee cup came crashing against the hard tile. The owner was totally taking that out of his paycheck.
He’d rushed over to the cabnet to grab a couple towels, getting down on his knees to clean the lukewarm liquid. Instantly browned the towels—who got white towels for a coffee shop, anyway?
…And, of course, when he was cleaning up the mess, the door’s bell just had to chime.
“Be with ya in just a minute…!” Really hoped that wasn’t the owner. It would be far easier to keep his temper down if he didn’t see the scene of the crime.
No response, though. Almost thought it was his usually silent demeanor, until he heard the click of a pair of heels slowly, albeit carefully, tapping their way across towards the bar.
Just a lady… also let a sigh of relief escape him, but, just as he thought he was safe, he saw a figure peek its way over the table. It took him a moment to register, but… Wait, wasn’t that—?
“...Ryuji-kun?” That gentle voice was unmistakable, along with the soft, confused smile on her face, slightly obscured by shadow and tuffs of hair falling towards her face as she stared directly down at him. “What are you doing on the floor?”
“Haru?!” Nearly jumped to his feet, just careful enough not to bang his head right into hers as he straightened himself up. Was a moment too late in thinking about avoiding wiping his hands on his apron, now two brown, hand-shaped swipes making him look way more lame. “J-Just, um… workin’ hard!”
All she could was giggle, covering up her mouth with the tips of her fingers and eyes mostly closed as she pushed herself back into the stool behind her.
Felt his face heat up, having to turn away towards the sink to finish cleaning his hands and arms at the sink.
Did her hair grow out…? She’d gotten her bangs cut, too. It… was cute. Way too cute.
Ugh, why was he thinking about that now? And why was that his first thought?!
“The apron fits you.” What did she just say…? He had to turn around to make sure he was hearing things right. Sure enough, she had returned back to a polite smile, eyes directed towards him.
“For real…?” Really didn’t feel like it fit him, personally. Maybe it was just because of how other customers spoke, or maybe the stains he’d just gotten all over the fabric, but it felt more like a costume than anything. “I just… sorta picked up this job, ‘cuz I needed one to pay for college.”
“It’s a good one for you.”
“Heh… Yeah.” No one else seemed to think that, really. But if she thought like that, then there had to be a little truth to it.
Maybe she’d double think that statement once she tried his coffee… It was a much simpler order than he would’ve imagined, though. Then again, she always seemed way more focused on the type of bean than all the fancy techniques.
Made it easy enough not to embarrass himself, even if he had to really double check all the machinery was fully cleaned before he started the brew.
“What are you going to college for?” She broke the silence as he worked on grinding up the beans. Hardly caught her over the machinery—had to take a moment to pause and consider her words before responding.
“Oh, that’s… kinda embarrassing.” Almost second-guessed telling her, but it would have been way more awkward to brush it off than state it straight out. “Education.”
“Why would that be embarrassing?” …Actually, should have expected that response. Haru was probably the most supportive girl—no, person he knew, after Ren. “It fits you even more than the apron.”
“Just… I dunno.” No argument he could make, really. None that felt rational enough to speak out loud. So, instead, he continued up the grinder, and silence overcame the shop once more.
It’d been so long. There was so much he wanted to say. To ask, but… when he was faced with Haru now, felt like his mind was complete mush. Just like draining coffee into the cup. Actually, that analogy didn’t really work, either, since that was more like sand, and…
…He was just distracting himself. Needed to push past all of that, and just… Say something. Anything, instead of standing there. If he didn’t know, then—
“Did I ever tell you?” Haru broke the lull before he could gain the confidence, eyes jutting over for a brief moment before returning to the machine, making sure it didn’t overflow. “...My dream is to open a coffee shop.”
“That seems kinda…” Couldn’t find the words to respond then, either. Come on, Ryuji, it’s not that hard…!
“Quaint?”
“No, no, nothin’ like that!” One hand flew around in immediate defense, the other slipping over to turn off the stream. “...kinda just like you, I guess?”
“You always know exactly what to say, don’t you?” Wasn’t making fun of him—She genuinely meant it. Always had a certain honesty, too, that Ryuji felt comforted by.
Found just as cute as her new hair, too.
Ugh, stop thinking like that! Really needed those thoughts to quiet down, already.
“Coffee’s ready!” Shouted that a little too loud, too, reverberating softly across the room. Didn’t seem Haru noticed or cared all too much, even if it left him cringing at himself. “Still kinda new at it, so… might not be the best. Promise the owner here prolly makes it way better.”
Felt his gut wrenching as Haru popped off the takeout lid and looked down at the cup, judging… something about it. Seemed to consider whatever was on her judging criteria for a couple moments, bringing it close to her lips and giving a soft puff of air before taking a light sip.
…Couldn’t entirely tell if that smile after she’d taken the cup away from her mouth was out of courtesy or enjoyment, though.
“You should really have more confidence, Ryuji-kun.”
“You think it’s good?” That was hard to believe… Not that other people swore him out for it, but it was clear he was nothing compared to the owner, yet.
“There’s room for improvement, but… that doesn’t mean it’s bad.” There was such a warmth to her… Or, maybe that was the coffee that she had been carefully covering back up. Man, even her movements to click back on a lid were graceful. “There’s always room to grow in everything.”
…Now that he thought of it, that warmth was coming from his face again.
“Maybe one day, you could even work at my coffee shop.” Was there a wink with those words?
“Oh…?” Now there were a lot more questions he wanted to ask, but anything else he got out would’ve been accompanied by a stutter. Dammit, man, get it together…!
“I have to get going.” Seemed sudden from her, too, slipping off her stool and taking the cup into her hand. “I’ll be back next week.”
Next week…? She… she wanted to come back? That… wow.
Still, there was one last thing he had to ask, before she left. With all the confidence he could will into himself, he opened his mouth, to ask—
“Wait, when ya said the apron looked good on me, did you mean…?”
“See you soon, Ryuji-kun!” The bell had already run, but she’d turned back for a brief moment, flashing him one last bright smile under the orange and reds of the setting sun before the door shut completely, leaving him back to the dull ceiling lights.
…She was totally trying to flirt with him from the beginning, wasn’t she?