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Papyrus peered over Undyne’s shoulder. “Wowie,” he said. “That’s so passionate!”
“Obviously,” his friend scoffed. “My words have to match the intensity I feel for her! The fire! The drive! The--” She finished the final words and looked it over. She spent a while examining it. Then, Undyne ripped it to shreds. “Nope! Not good enough.”
“What are you talking about?! It was perfect!”
“Nope. It was way too much.”
“Undyne, you’re too much.” She shot him a glare. “I-I meant in a good way! Alphys likes how intense you are!”
“Yeah, as a friend! When you’re trying to woo somebody, you have to be subtle--but not too subtle! It’s a delicate balance. Way too delicate for a letter like that!”
“Are you sure you’re not just using this as an excuse to avoid confessing your feelings because you’re scared of being rejected?”
“Scared? Scared?! Scared?! How dare you! I’m not scared!” Undyne grabbed another piece of paper and slammed it on the table. “I’ll prove it to you! I’ll write another one right now!”
“...Right.” Papyrus wasn’t sure if he should mention this was the fifth time they went through this. “Don’t you think you could confess in person? Maybe it’d be easier?”
Undyne’s jaw dropped. “Do you have any idea what you’re saying?! Confessing in person is way harder than this! I--” She gulped. “This a better way to do it, anyway. It’s gentle, elegant, and precise.”
“You mean the opposite of you?”
“Hey! Watch it!” Then, she smiled. “Why don’t you try it?”
“Writing a letter to Alphys?”
“No, writing a letter to your crush.”
Papyrus’s face flushed. “I--I don’t have a crush!”
“Oh really? What about that friend you’re always talking about? That…uh…Flowery?”
“He’s not my crush,” Papyrus snapped a bit too harshly for his liking, “we’re just friends! Best friends!”
“Yeah, sure.” Undyne said, “that’s why you’re so defensive right now.”
“Why do you think I have a cr-crush on him?”
“I dunno, could be how you always yap about how amazing he is, how you bring him up every five minutes for no reason, and that look you have.”
“My look?”
“Yeah,” she smiled sweetly. “You get this dreamy look in your eye, almost as if you’re in some kind of lovestruck trance.”
“...Huh.” Papyrus thought for a moment. He didn’t like Flowey that way…did he? They were best friends, so obviously Papyrus liked everything about him. His humor, his wit, his smarts, his smile--
“Tell ya what,” Undyne slid the paper to him. “Write about how you feel about him, and deliver it! If it’s regular friendship feelings, then it should be no problem for you…right?”
“Right! Of course! Let me just--” Papyrus grabbed a pen and scribbled a quick note. Within seconds, he was done. He simply wrote: You are my best friend, and I like everything about you! Nyehfully yours, Papyrus. Undyne took one look at the letter and frowned. She snatched it out of his hands and ripped it to shreds. “Hey! I worked hard on that!”
“No offense, but you didn’t. Is that really how you feel about him?”
“Yes? We’re friends--”
“Papyrus, you’ve told me so much about the guy, I practically know him myself. What you just wrote was way too vague. You gotta be detailed. Specific. Basically, this Flowery guy has to know exactly why you two are such good friends.”
“Hmmm…okay. Shouldn’t be too hard.”
“I’m glad you agree.” Undyne handed him another piece of paper.
“Oh--I can’t--I can’t do it here,” Papyrus began sweating bullets. “It’s getting late, and I have to pick Sans up from Grillby’s.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Really! I--uh--” Papyrus stood up, his legs shaking. “I’ll write it! Trust me! It’ll just be at…a later time! Yup. Much later, cause I have things to do--”
“I’m making it an order.”
Papyrus’s jaw dropped. “You’re what?!”
“As Captain of the Royal Guard, I am officially ordering you to write a detailed letter to your best friend, telling him how you feel about him--and to be truthful about it.”
“I--uh--” he stammered. “Well, I’m not actually part of the Royal Guard yet, so I don’t have to listen to you!”
“And look at who’s making excuses because they’re scared.”
“Oh my god--FINE! I’ll write Flowey a letter!” Undyne raised an eyebrow. “And I’ll be specific, detailed, and truthful.”
“Good.” As Papyrus stormed out, his face flushed the whole time, Undyne called out, “and make sure to keep me updated on your progress!”