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“And so then, what have you been up to all this time?” Aang’s characteristic voice incited, tilting his head a little so his voice could reach his friends above air currents, still not removing his eyes from the front of Appa’s view range. He held the bison’s fur while he sat kneeled down on his head, guiding him with gentle pats just making sure they were heading in the right direction one last time before he could fully focus on the conversation at hand.
Sokka was the first to reply, enthusiastically chiming in after his friend’s question. “Oh! Me and Suki were just at Kyoshi Island for a couple of weeks, the place is so changed up you have to visit soon! We even helped put up two new buildings for the town hall, seems they are modernizing, they’re trying but keep a strong grip over their traditions.” Sokka spoke, voice steadying from a childlike excitement to a manly dictation as he smoothed out the sentence, but the last few words sounded like a mouthful of seal jerky. “I was homesick to be fair, and glad to see even after all the repairs my peers are stronger than ever.” Suki contributed with a small snicker while she stared at Sokka as she spoke. Something that would normally go unnoticed by Toph since she couldn’t see, but she did notice the honey coated in her voice tone, she ignored it, keeping quiet.
“I can’t believe how much things keep changing at such a pace.” Katara joined in with contemplation in her voice, sighing softly as she adjusted herself over her heels. “Yes I know, it feels not so different than from when I woke up from the iceberg.” Aang agreed, sliding down Appa’s saddle to sit next to Katara, landing with a *poof* of air, he surrounded behind her shoulders with his right arm and pecked a small kiss on her cheek.
“You wouldn’t believe it, just how much political influence will move people.” Sokka munched, waving his handful of jerky as he expressed himself. “In fact, you knew of my trip but I didn’t tell you what.” He paused as he chewed and swallowed, “A couple months ago when I went to help out dad with the reconstruction of a city of the Southern Tribes we had a meeting a warrior wouldn’t normally be allowed to, but you know, being the Chief’s son...” He paused yet again, swallowing “They mentioned requesting more support from the Northern Water Tribes, but one of the Northern ranking men opposed very stubbornly, if dad wasn’t a stone head when it comes to his duties it definitely would’ve turned into an argument. Deal is, even after the war was over, you only start to realize how many old issues and nationwide affairs pop up and resurge from being put aside for such a long time, how conflicts become smaller and smaller and more local.” Everyone listened very intently, and even Toph switched her general direction of attention toward the group, but she hadn’t spoken yet.
Silence fell upon the group as the realization set in, and Toph could pick up some of their sighs. “I have hope though, that even though conflict is inherent and can’t be totally avoided, people still help each other.” Katara spoke, holding on to her new betrothal necklace’s stone pendant with the fingertips of her right hands. She didn’t smile, but she sounded sincere. “Of course we do,” Aang encouraged, smiling. “As long as we keep doing good things for each other, things aren’t going to waste. Plus.. I think we do deserve to lay back for a little.” He said as he ironically laid his head back against the saddle and closed his eyes, holding Katara’s left hand. “Yeah.” Sokka agreed, also relaxing, shoulder to shoulder against Suki.
Toph knew her friends weren’t nosy and weren’t going to blatantly ask ‘so where’s your boyfriend’, but those sweet moments made her feel somewhat excluded, even when the conversation didn’t even mention anything about couple life or relationships.
To her surprise, her avoidance didn’t come unnoticed. “You’ve been awfully quiet Toph, how are things in the Earth Kingdom?” Unexpectedly, it was Suki who showed interest, it sounded kind of superficial, but she didn’t blame her since it’d been a while since they last saw each other during the battle for Yu Dao, as well as the fact it was probably off putting that she hadn’t been warmer or more trusting since they picked her up and reunited. She wasn’t about to make her friends uncomfortable by putting up an attitude, “Oh well you know… dusty.” She let out, crap. “Dusty?” Suki asked confused, quicker than it was good for her, because the rest of the group did pick up on Toph’s sarcasm. “Yeah, well.” She paused as she raised from her laid back position to sit with her legs crossed. “I’m not very involved in politics, I mean, my family is doing okay, if that’s what you’re asking. And The Academy is doing good too, I trust my students will take care of its duties while I’m gone, it’s gotten busier overtime.” She concluded, laying back once more with her hands behind her head. She blew air to remove her bangs from tickling her nose.
“That’s good! I bet they can totally handle it, they’ve got the best teacher after all.” Aang leaned forward and praised warmly, she smiled. “Recalling what I’ve been told though, I hope they don’t burn down the building!” Sokka teased, and that finally got a snicker out of Toph. “Yeah they are pretty terrible.” She light heartedly mocked, and as the conversation continued the aura felt easier for everybody.
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The trip took about a day, including two resting breaks for Appa. Though it took several potty breaks and back pain complaints from the group, they kept their time together pretty lively, catching up on all the time spent apart and eventually they played dare and question games, Sokka suggested they play I Spy but… Toph threw a piece of seal jerky at him. By the time they went to sleep, Aang decided to stay up and keep guard for the others, but eventually Katara convinced him to rest while she stayed awake. Toph pretended to be asleep for most of the night, she was having trouble sleeping and subsequently she spent her time submerged in her thoughts and troubles. There were some events of this evening that just wouldn’t leave her mind.
Toph is usually uninterested in social affairs, specially those that seem trivial or miscellaneous, such as having to make impressions or making connections or putting up to standards, it didn’t really matter to her and only put up that image of elegance and exclusivity for her parents, she didn’t show it but she did love them. She also never really cared about relationships, that because she was a child, but also because of her shielding personality, but the topic evolved into something that began to shake her, since her mother started talking to her about her having to engage and betroth a man of class by 18 ever since she turned 15, she even considered marrying a hermit to spite her, but to be honest, it was only a defensive measure she had considered because the whole topic made her nervous and… insecure.
She knew any man of distinction would want to marry a pretty (not that she would know) woman from the Winged Boar Dynasty, but who would want to fall in love with a stubborn, totally not submissive, loudmouth blind girl? Even if she lied, to her blighted self, it stressed her out, greatly. Either way she did still have plenty of time, and it wasn’t like she would have to make any wedding plans by next year. However the topic of marriage was a constant concern she put aside almost all of the time, and it conflicted her and infuriated her how in royalty and high class society love was stigmatized the way it was, seen as something minor that came only after breeding and rarity.
It also made her envious to hear all about Aang and Katara’s dreamy experiences, as if their constant drooling over each other didn’t become somewhat obnoxious, and not only them, but their whole trip also included Sokka and Suki catching up with the group about their traveling together. She felt kind of stupid because she was probably the only one yet the least likely to want to notice the small changes in their voice tones, their heartbeats around each other, and the topics they talked about which seemed normal to everyone but her since she couldn’t relate.
Not only did those things bother her, but also the fact she didn’t know the first thing about love. She did have a crush on Sokka when she was twelve, and it became an inside joke for the group a couple years after the topic was brought up, turns out she wasn’t as sly as she believed she was, they didn’t let it go for weeks! Oh, that and it also made Sokka smug and get way ahead of himself, thinking he was sooo good and sooo handsome (like she could tell, or care!). They did forget some months after that, and since then, she couldn’t recall having any other crushes.
Or… she did. But when the idea had crossed her mind she washed it away as quickly as it appeared. Before Sozin’s comet, after Zuko joined them he did particularly interest her, she didn’t know quite well why, but she hadn’t cared not to express her interest and did try to be around him, it wasn’t as clear, but she did probably have some kind of childish crush back then. She brushed it off, eventually she found out him and Mai got back together, so she buried that deep, dismissing it because she was so young. It had been a long time since she last saw him, so she was just glad he had invited them all to reunite and maybe be like the kids they used to be for once, it was true their responsibilities and duties weighed over them and though they did discuss it they hardly admitted it.
She sighed, turning from her side and laid on her back flat against Appa’s saddle, she exhaled, breathing in again she took in the smell of humidity from the cold air, making her aware of how high up above they were. Nobody was shuffling yet, so she had to guess they weren’t waking up anytime soon. One last time, she took a deep breath and closed her eyelids, hoping to attain some sleep.
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She had spent so much time thinking that she didn’t realize she did manage to fall asleep after all, and it was Katara’s voice the carrier of the knowledge to her that they had finally made it to the Fire Nation, more specifically, the palace. “We made it just in time for new years, though we’re a day behind our settled stay.” Katara chuckled. Idly at the sudden bombardment of information, Toph arose from her laying position, rubbing her eyes as she felt the warmth of the sun against her face, it was daytime.
“Slept well?” Katara asked, leaning over next to her to grab her luggage, it was too much for just a couple of days, in her opinion. “…Yeah.” Toph replied, steadily getting on her feet. Naturally, Katara lended Toph a hand to help her climb down from Appa’s saddle, and as soon as they did it seemed like Toph’s personality returned to herself, with a big stretch, she spoke. “Aghh, I can never get used to that. …But thank you, you fuzzball.” The gray eyed girl smirked, patting the bison’s ear and side of his face as she walked away from him and toward the rest of the group, who had already walked toward the warm marble steps of the palace’s second entrance.
“I sure hope Zuko greets us with some food.” Sokka mumbled, sounding drowsy from having just woken up. “He’s not here to greet us at all, I would’ve told from his footstep, he has a march to it.” Toph replied, crossing her arms as she did. “I guess he does.” Aang agreed with a low voice tone, walking last to join the group after settling Appa down under one of the palace’s great trees. He spoke rather thoughtful of Toph’s remark, trying to remember if he ever did notice that on his own.
“How come he’s not here, though?” Suki questioned, sliding her hand behind her ear to move some hair off her face, stepping in beside Sokka, then her arms rested crossed as well. “Maybe the Fire Lord responsibilities are keeping him stacked.” Sokka intuited, yawning.
Fortunately, a servant’s interruption put an end to their wonder and boredom, he walked down the staircase while holding a platter, which held a letter wrapped in lace from Zuko to his friends. They looked at one another, confused, but Aang took a step forward and grabbed the letter, then read it out loud. “Hello, I’m hoping this letter gets to you as soon as you arrive. Firstly I want to apologize for not being able to meet you as you get here, and I wanted to personally let you know I will be late tonight and won’t see you until dinner. I am gone for the day tending to military responsibilities, but I will be back before you know it. Make yourselves at home, my servants will make sure you all get the comfort and food you might need. Oh and, feel free to ask about and choose your own quarters. With honor, Fire Lord Zuko.” Aang concluded, letting our a snort at his goodbye quote.
“It seems you were right.” Katara turned to her brother with slight surprise, who nodded proudly. Without further wait, the servant introduced himself. “My name is Kendo, I will be guiding you and attending to your needs, as far as I’m aware, it’s been a while since you were all last in the palace. Let me escort you.” The older man smiled warmly as he bowed, inviting the group to follow him.
“Thank you.” Aang bowed back, and followed immediately after with the rest of the group tagging along behind him.
“He is right, it has been a long time.” Sokka whispered to Suki, referring to how the silk curtains in the marble halls had been replaced, and how light flooded the inside of the tall structure, allowing more visibility to the sculpting of the pillars that adorned it. Since they were the last two walking, Sokka was confident that his whispering wouldn’t be overheard, but Toph did catch what they were saying, as much as she didn’t try to be nosy.
“Do you think they’ll have a room with double beds?” Sokka grinned, but his expression was quickly replaced with one of pain such as Suki punched the side of his ribs with her elbow. “Quiet!” She whispered back at him nervously, and he retreated while rubbing the side of his chest with a scolded face.
“Ughhh!” Toph let out a disgusted grunt and covered her ears, quickening her pace to catch up to Aang and Katara…
“…After the remodeling, Fire Lord Zuko made sure the place had to get a lot of light, thus the changes you will likely notice, but some of the personal family’s quarters and living areas were swapped as well. Fire Lord Zuko was very insisting on me making sure you didn’t get lost.” Kendo spoke with a rasp to his voice, but a characteristic tour-like tone as well. “Well that is very considerate of him.” Katara replied, holding back a snicker. As boring as it was Toph would much rather listen to an old guy ramble than whatever Sokka had to say back there.
For her relief, they made a pause once they reached the palace’s actual living area, Zuko and his family’s home. “The palace now counts with 14 bedrooms and two gardens, which Fire Lord Zuko mentioned you would likely enjoy.” Kendo expressed with his hands, outstretching his arms. He paused turning over himself to face them, “In the palace’s left wing you will find the bedrooms,” He articulated, pointing towards the left wing. “which you are free to choose from and settle yourselves in.”
“You can roam around and wait for the Fire Lord’s return in the living rooms, if you need anything I will be reading in the main room, which is in the right wing.” The man spoke, looking surprised before talking again. “Oh and, Fire Lord Zuko asked me to let you know to be fixed up and ready at the dining hall at 7 pm, which is when he will be back. You can find a variety of traditional and formal clothing in each of the bedrooms, and of course, all utilities are stocked up in each bedroom’s bathroom. There will be Servants outside the quarter halls, reach out to them if you need anything.” He finished. “Thank you very much, Kendo.” Aang greeted bowing once more. “If you have any questions I am more than glad to listen.” The servant affirmed.
Sokka of course, was the first to jump in. “Can we eat before Zuko is back?” Kendo frowned slightly at the manner the younger boy spoke so casually of the Fire Lord. “Of course not, but the main hall does provide appetizers until his return.” Sokka’s eyebrows dropped in disappointment at first, but once the snacks were mentioned, he drew his fist back in celebration. “Thank the gods, I’m starving!” He cheered.
Katara joined in beside Toph, since Aang had approached Sokka and Suki and they were now talking in the back. “Big day today! Do you know what you’re gonna wear Toph?” She warmly asked, to what the blind girl responded with a shrug. “You know there is no way I’m getting in a tight Fire Nation dress, so I brought some of my own… least uncomfortable traditional formal wear.” She signaled to the backpack she had been carrying since she got off of Appa.
“So you do have something for the formal occasion. Will you need help with makeup?” The water tribe girl offered, holding her hands together in front to her hips as she walked. “Sure.” Toph smirked while keeping her gaze low.
“These are the rooms? Talk about fancy.” Suki giggled as she walked slower and looked around once they made it to the quarter hall. Carved wooden double doors adorned with golden pieces and torches by both doors’ sides, 7 pairs on each side of the hall, and a last pair of doors that were odd out at the very end, most likely it was Zuko’s bedroom. Suki and Sokka shyly reunited to choose a room together, trying not to bring too much attention to themselves, it was obvious they had formalized but it was still a tad bit embarrassing to display that in front of the group, specially implying they would stay in the same room. However, all prudence left the building when their curious eyes were met with Aang and Katara doing the exact same, the two couples stared at each other, then awkwardly looked away.
Toph broke the tension invasively by walking right past them, waving a dismissive hand as she did. “See ya later, I need to relax.” If she was right, they still had about 5 hours until Zuko would come back, and until the New Year’s Celebration and dinner would start. She ambled down-hall, and picked the 4th room on the left side, which’s windows she guessed would face the second garden. Even if windows didn’t really ‘do it’ for her, the warmth of sunlight helped her to acknowledge when dawn broke. The material of the palace’s flooring allowed her to map out the structure, and she would know right where the wooden doors would be, because she couldn’t sense them.
She angled her head pensively as her hand grasped at the golden doorknob, then she gripped and pushed the door open. The tall wood creaked, giving her an idea of the door’s height, she stepped in and closed it behind herself, placing her backpack down by the side of a vanity desk. The wooden mat covered in animal fur carpeting the floor made her sensing a bit difficult, mostly a nuisance, but she ignored it as she walked forward and took a wild guess, collapsing on the bed in front of her. All it takes is for her to get more familiar with the room and she’d see just fine, it did remind her of her parents house, all pompous and decorative. Royalty used inconvenient and impractical wooden and marble furniture, which made the usage harder for her blindness, it was terrible compared to her earth bending architecture and how she would rather have furniture made out of earth itself. She sighed as she rolled over her side and landed on her back, listening carefully to her surroundings. The window was slightly open, as the chirping of birds leaked inside the bedroom, the distance of the echo allowed her to know just how big it was. She turned over herself once more and placed her elbows on the bed, helping herself up off of it. If she only had a few hours, she better use them well.
After a long thorough shower, Toph had time to put her outfit together, it was a mixture of what her parents would like a Beifong to wear, but with the characteristic ankle cropped baggy pants for comfort, and of course, her wrist guards and even some additional jewelry she wouldn’t normally wear. While she was getting finished dressing up, Katara and Suki’s voices made themselves known through the other side of the bedroom door. “Toph? We hope we’re not interrupting, but we were just about to do our makeup, do you want to join us?” Suki encouraged from the other side, looking at Katara and back at the door awaiting for a response.
“I would like that.” Toph replied as she pulled the door open.
The rest of the evening went by quicker than it felt, as the girls were really immersed in the conversation at hand, Katara and Suki brought their makeup to Toph’s bedroom, and they did their own makeup and helped Toph with hers while they brushed and did each other’s hair. For Toph’s relief boys weren’t really brought up in the conversation, and she began to feel more easy and included with her friends.
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Finally, the three of them left the room and walked down the hall, arriving at the main hall and joining Aang and Sokka by the living room, who were already dressed up as well. Apparently they were bored to death until they arrived, since their sunken expressions lit up dramatically at the presence of each their girlfriends. Aang might’ve let out a genuine gasp. “You all look beautiful.” He complimented, getting up from the large couch to greet Katara and hold her hands. “Thank you!” She replied gratefully, Suki smiled and bowed slightly and Toph only smirked and agreed.
Their interaction was interrupted by the echoing sound of footsteps with a stroll and march to it. Without having to see him and before the others did, Toph knew exactly who it was.
“Zuko!” Aang exclaimed, trotting over to greet his waving friend with a warm hug, still holding Katara’s hand to follow after him. Sokka gasped in glee and joined the hug, Suki did right after and Toph last. “My Lord.” Kendo bowed at his arrival, he had been waiting alongside Aang and Sokka in the main hall.
The hug was long, but full of giggles and soon followed by all kinds of comments and questions. Zuko smiled widely, “How are you?” Aang questioned. “What took you so long?” Sokka complained, “Did your hair get longer?” Katara pointed out looking up at him. “You’re surely taller.” Toph remarked confidently. Zuko pulled back from the hug and gave his friends a reassuring look, it had been… more than two years since they had all been together.
“Let’s get to the dining room, I’ll tell you all you want to hear there.” Zuko invited, beginning to walk toward that direction.
Inevitably tough, they did chit chat on their small walk to the table. “Is it just me or do you look older?” Suki said with a warm smile. “Not too old I hope.” Zuko chuckled. “Not too old, but Suki has a point, you’ve… grown so much into your Fire Lord role.” Katara contributed with a compliment like tone, but she sounded a little worried, worried it was getting too much to her friend and it was likely tiring him out. “It comes with the responsibility.” Zuko agreed, lowering his eyes a little. “Well I think he looks very handsome, not more than me though.” Sokka grinned, pushing Zuko with his elbow a little. He rolled his eyes, smiling as he picked up his pace.
They reached the dining room and all took their desired seats, Zuko sat in one side and the couples sat at the fringes of the rectangular table, Toph sat in the very opposite side. The dining room was tall and lanterns high above the table lit it up in a warm manner, patterned long rectangular cloth outspread across the polished wood. Each chair had padded armrests and was overall really welcoming, one side of the room opened widely toward the kitchen and the other held open sliding doors that faced the palace’s internal garden.
The dinner was delicious and abundant, vinyls of ecstatic and enthusiastic traditional Fire Nation music played, quite sophisticated technology exclusive to these kinds of events, but the true entertainment was the long catch up session the group had with one another, the exchange of new inside jokes, the contempt and gratefulness to be transmitted by it, just how happy they were to share one more meal again.
By the time the clock hit twelve, the sky lit up with beautiful fireworks of wondrous colors, they cheered, danced, drank and played around. It was heartwarming to have Aang and Sokka chase each other as they played tag just like when they were kids, while having that freedom that came with it.
Though it hurt her ears, it made her happy her fiends were happy, but the smile on her face slowly faded, she stepped back from the noise, eyelids lowering, she turned around and walked outside toward the garden. It’s wasn’t that she was uncomfortable, she was very happy to be with her friends she really was, but with so many concerns over her mind, social battery didn’t quite last as long as she’d like it to, and that light of her humor, wit and contribution dimmed with time as the night went by. She let out a defeated sigh as exited the dining room, the feeling of grass and stepping stones under her toes brought her a sense of calm, she kicked a pebble in her stride, heading toward a wooden log around what seemed to be in front of an unlit fireplace, the back of the log faced some tall bushes, and though it didn’t matter for her, the fire place in the middle of the garden had little light apart from the torches placed on all of the walls of the inside garden. She sat on the log, and just like this narration, the feeling of time compressed into what felt like just a little while, and that the evening had gone by too quickly.
In a very tangible present, Toph picked up a stick from the ground and drew shapes over the loose dirt, hardening it through her earthbending every time she finished drawing a shape. Strokes of her hand communicated her thoughtfulness and the purposeless actions her body led her to do in spite of wasting time alone than putting up a cheerful image any longer. She didn’t like being the odd one out in a celebration that was meant for everyone to enjoy, she just needed fresh air that was all.
The sound of booted footsteps distantly approaching her made her eyelids raise, she dropped the stick she was holding and felt her own muscles tense up. “Toph?” It was Zuko’s voice, he sounded more serene than concerned, which made her relax, if he didn’t she would’ve felt uncomfortable, feeling on edge all the time as the possibility of pity or worry coming from peoples voices usually made her closet herself off, but with him it always felt genuine and even, something she so desperately overcompensated to not be perceived as weak. “Hey Sparky.” She replied simply, placing her crossed arms over her knees and leaning slightly, hiding her nose behind her arms.
He didn’t say anything, instead he continued to walk up to her until he spoke again, “Do you mind for some company?” He asked, to what Toph responded with a nod. “Yeah, sure.” With her permission he took a seat a couple of inches away from her, the log creaked under his weight, well allowing her to know where exactly he sat, not too close. He crossed his arms alike her and placed them over his knees, then looked thoughtfully ahead of himself. Silence filled in the gaps, but he didn’t take long to talk again.
“It’s really nice to see you again, Toph.” He spoke, “How have things been? I heard you opened a metalbending academy, I’ll make sure to visit sometime.” He assured, “If you do, I can teach you a thing or two.” She pushed his arm with her elbow and he chuckled. “I’m serious. Believe it or not, in my time after founding the Academy I allied and taught a really skilled bender, a lavabender.” She smirked when she sensed Zuko’s genuine surprise, “I thought it was a fairytale too, but it’s very much real, and firebenders can do it too, so now you know where to find me if you ever want anyone to teach you.” Toph told, she slammed her fist against her palm and her sea foam eyes glimmered with tangerine light from the torches across the garden, artistically reflecting the pride she communicated. “So you learned it?” Zuko inquired, and Toph nodded cheekily.
“That is amazing Toph, you are really admirable.” He complimented, eager and glad to be hearing more from his friend’s accomplishments again.
“Thank you, and answering your question, not too difficult, the real challenge is getting my students to listen.” She snorted throwing herself back, crossing her legs and catching herself with her hands against the log by both her sides, settling on a much more relaxed posture. “What about you Sparky?” She questioned, swinging forward again and supporting her elbows on her knees again.
He took a moment to reply, he was usually always straight forward, but now he felt hesitant, yet comforted by the normality of their conversation. “Things have been, good... but it feels like after the war ended, matters just became way more difficult than they used to be.” Zuko finally said apologetically, having trouble bringing up anything of which had been obviously bothering him, yet he found hard to express. It spiked her curiosity, she raised her head slightly, but didn’t turn to face him. “Why’s that?” She asked, preferring to hear something else than talk about herself.
Zuko breathed in through his teeth and sighed, adjusting himself over his knees. “Well, to be honest, sometimes I feel my responsibilities asphyxiate me, many people in the Fire Nation disagree with me being Fire Lord, and I’m yet to earn their trust and respect. It would weigh anyone , but I still feel like I can’t afford to fail. Without mentioning how troublesome and tiring the royal affairs I have to tend to are… I believe you can relate.” He paused, looking down in regret. “I remember you mentioned it a while back when Aang went missing. I never gave it much importance, and I want to apologize for that, it’s been a long time since we had the chance to speak.” He said, nervously waiting for a reply.
“Don’t sweat it Sparky, you said it. It’s been a long time, and besides it didn’t really bother me.” She dismissed with a scoff, but Zuko knew she wasn’t being true, his lips tightened. “But I do mean it.” Toph’s grin slowly erased from her face, forming a few wrinkles between her eyebrows as she frowned silently. When he thought she wouldn’t reply, he was thrown off. “In that case, thank you.” She let out. “…I do, relate by the way. It can be, burdensome.” She exhaled, easing her voice tone, taking the reassurance in. She appreciated that the topic was brought up, because that was pretty much what had been straining her as well, and if the conversation kept going, maybe she would be able to talk about it.
“I was never really able to speak about it. However hampering my years away from the Fire Nation were, I didn’t realize how difficult it was to be royalty until I came back. Facing my father as somebody much more than just his son. Growing into the role and destiny I was meant to fulfill.” Zuko paused, feeling a bit embarrassed to over share. “It’s the opposite for you though, no? Where nothing of what’s written for you to become is what you really are or want to be.” He guessed, turning his gaze to look at her, fixating his eyes on the rosy skin of her cheeks, obscured by the curtains of her bangs.
Toph’s head angled down, and her eyes met the ground, her body language expressing contemplation. “Well, yeah, but I don’t want to disappoint my parents, I just want them to… to be proud of me.” She spoke that last part more quietly, and her face turned away from him even more, it saddened him. She inhaled and swallowed the knot in her throat, speaking again. “I went to visit my father and it didn’t turn out very well, and my mother hasn’t stopped bugging me about the etiquette of a Beifong. It sounds a little absurd when I say it, but it feels so constricting, as if they just can’t accept who I’ve always been.” Zuko nodded, not letting her invalidate herself. “So that’s what’s been bringing you down.” He contributed. She was grateful to be listened to for once, and couldn’t help but smile.
“I like your smile. I never got to see it much.” Zuko remarked, angling his own head to have a better look at her face, her pale petal skin bloomed of rosy tint across her cheeks and nose, even her ears, he smiled. “You’re blushing.” He said mindlessly, not thinking of how it sounded or what Toph would think about him pointing it out. Quickly the consequences caught up to him. Toph punched his arm and pushed him away, “Ow!” then she covered her face with her hands, pulling her shirt’s collar all the way up to her nose. “…Sorry.” Zuko apologized, he knew Toph had once said that’s the way she showed affection, so he didn’t truly mean it.
Silence filled their conversation, overshadowing the cheers and music in the background coming from inside the building behind them. “I don’t like it. I know faces express what someone is feeling and since I can’t tell what I look like… it’s just better to avoid all the trouble.” She explained herself. “That’s why you don’t normally face people when you speak to them.” Zuko queried, and she nodded, freeing her face from the coverage of her shirt. “You know, I used to believe I could relate to you by the shame my scar used to bring me, but the contradictions in your confidence left it very clear you felt no shame caused by your blindness.” He sat back, a piece of wood bark slid off of the log.
Toph’s lips pressed one another in thought, her eyebrows expressing it. “I often forget you have a scar.” She said, also sitting back, showing more of her face and coming back to her usual posture. “Is it wrong for me to say I like that?” He questioned genuinely, not wanting to insult her. “No.” Toph said simply.
Dubiously but surely, he continued his effort to explain himself. “I just, always felt like I could be myself around you without the inherent pressure of you having any chance of flinching or staring at me.” He uttered, looking down at his hands, he started fidgeting with them. “I wouldn’t stare even if I could see, it’s not like you’re a walking scar, where is it anyway?” She joked trying to cheer him up. “… it’s on my face.”
She shut down her snicker, “Ah.”
Zuko didn’t shun her for her attempt at humoring him, he understood just how much he didn’t understand about what it was like being blind. Just how much genuine distance and lack of relatability they had within one another in terms of lifestyle, how she lived a life completely different from his and he lived a life completely different than hers. He continued talking, not offended. “Maybe you could feel it?” He suggested, “I’m not sure if bringing my feet up to your face is something I’d want to do.” Toph giggled and interrupted by cracking another joke before he could finish. Zuko laughed with her but rushed in to explain himself “No, just with your hand. If you want. I don’t think I can really describe it.” Toph turned to face him, “Guide my hand, then.” She outstretched her right hand, awaiting for him to take it.
And so he did, he carefully grabbed her hand with his left, gripping on her index and middle finger softly as to not to startle her. He brought it up to the side of his face and gently placed his own hand over the back of her palm once he aligned it. Toph’s eyelids narrowed soberly as she blankly stared at his chest. She settled her fingertips around his cheekbone and cupped the shape of his face against her palm, her thumb landing under his nose, his breath brushing against it. She extended her fingers, gliding them across the relief of his stretched temple, eyelid and earlobe.
A couple of seconds went by, but for Zuko it felt like a comforting eternity, he didn’t have any special reactions toward physical touch unlike other victims of injury or trauma, he never particularly disliked people or things coming close to his scar, it was the fulmination, judging glares and obvious glances that really hurt him, but for some reason, now with Toph’s milky smooth palm caressing the side of his face just so gently, he felt good. He never thought of Toph as anything else than a friend, he… did think she was pretty and interesting to look at, and it felt like a tragedy that she would never be able to see her own unique and contradicting beauty, her petal pale skin and inky contrast of hair, eyebrows and eyelashes, as well as her sea foam color eyes. So if he never thought of her that way, why was she making him feel way more cared for, understood, good, embarrassed, shy, and nervous than Mai, his ex girlfriend ever did? He wasn’t comparing, but why was her touch much more thrilling than any kiss he ever had before?
She leaned in to have a better feel of him, his head was racing in comparison to hers, who was quite focused in the touch of her fingertips, she closed in the distance a little more as she bent her elbow, and didn’t realize her face might’ve come a little too close to his until she felt his breath against her cheek, she backed away a bit but felt a magnetic feeling draw her in, with a hesitant closeness her eyelids fluttered. Zuko leaned in slightly, his feelings taking control of his body, throwing away the fear and chances of this simple action ruining their friendship, of getting and sending the wrong message, he angled his head with his nose brushing against hers, their lips just a few inches from one another. Her heartbeat quickened, not wanting to escape the warmth of his breath so close to hers, but she turned her face away from him a little, her bangs brushing against his chin.
He didn’t realize his heart was racing until he noticed Toph was blushing again, her features decorated in watercolor flush of red just like a porcelain doll. She was likely
blushing because she could tell he was feeling as she did, as she didn’t seem to insinuate anything when she first got closer to his face. To his dismay her hand drew back, her thumb’s fingertip grazed his cupid’s bow as she did, that simple touch made his heart flutter, and inevitably rush blood to his face.
He wanted to apologize, he wanted to say sorry but he didn’t want to break the silence, the oh so comforting silence that at least reassured him she didn’t hate him, the lack of a scream, a push or a slap, the simple nerve wracking silence of Toph looking blankly at him. For his salvation, she finally spoke. “Were you trying to kiss me?” She asked, her voice free from accusation or reclaim. “I… no, I wasn’t, sorry.” Zuko retracted timidly stuttering over his own words. “No use lying, but it’s okay, I never kissed anyone before so I wouldn’t know.” Toph shrugged, sitting back, yet still facing him.
“…You haven’t? I figured since, you’re older and…” Zuko spoke, then watched her carefully when she shook her head side to side. Quietude settled over them once again, Toph sucked air in before risking asking the real question she had been holding on to. “If you were going to kiss me… why didn’t you?” Toph inquired, her head lowering. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to kiss me.”
He didn’t know why, but answers always came naturally and fluently when talking to Toph, ever since he joined the group before Sozin’s comet, she was the only one who didn’t have the background of his mistakes to misjudge him, and the only one who did an effort to understand him regardless of the group’s constant distrust. He always felt comfortable around her because of that, so giving the explanations she asked for came so easily. But if he was always so careful with his decisions why did everything feel so natural with her? Why didn’t he stop himself to think?
A soft breeze brushed the hair away from her face, revealing her eyes through her eyelashes, the way he could stare at her features without fear was something else, it always attracted him, being able to examine her so thoroughly without her urging him to back off. “Can you try again?” The question got to him abruptly, unsure of if what he had heard was real.
He didn’t answer, which made her quiver in expectation. What was he doing? She felt his heartbeat, it was steady, like the flickering of a candle, she listened to the brush of his clothing, her earthbending allowed her to know what he was doing, but there was no telling or predicting what his next move would be, like the trained discipline of a warrior prince, it never even excluded his personal behavior. His hand reached out to hers, holding her fingers firmly against his curled own, his other hand outstretched to her face, placing her hair behind her ear. She was hesitant, and tried not to pull back, but the coldness of no breath against her didn’t let her know if she had to lean in or not, it was making her nervous.
Suddenly, she felt humid warmth against her lips, followed by a hot exhale that tickled the side of her nose. Her breath trembled, she didn’t know what she was doing but she couldn’t help but peck her lips up a little, all in hope for more contact. He didn’t really move his lips, but he placed his hand on the side of her face. They stayed like that for a bit, and she closed her eyelids.
They both pulled back barely an inch. Zuko blinked and looked down at her lips. The expression on her face was that of surprise, and her breathing unbalanced with a slight tremor. He could feel the heat emanating from her cheeks, and the amateur dazed swing of her head attempting to lean in again enamored him.
No words had to be spoken to communicate their feelings, Toph bravely slanted closer to him, he did the same, inclining his head just a bit to kiss her once more. The fingertips of his index and middle finger brushed against her neck, pulling her in gently, naturally deepening the kiss. He didn’t want to do too much, and let her make the first moves, it was her first kiss, and he didn’t want to mess it up for her.
His eyelids opened slightly, taking in the vulnerable willing sight she was presenting in that moment. Someone so withdrawn and tough, how come does she kiss so softly? Zuko had been around heat his whole life but… this was one Fire he never wanted to extinguish.
She pulled back one more time, taking in a small gulp of air before leaning in again, extending her arm to grab the side of his face with her left hand. Her heart felt like it was burning, and she felt new things around her body she didn’t know she could feel, a drunken dazy rush of endorphins that caught her off guard. “Wow.” She whispered, pulling back lastly, gasping for air silently. That was, a hell of a first kiss.
Zuko smiled at her, but since she couldn’t see him, he caressed her cheek for reassurance. “You’ve said you don’t really care before but, Toph, you’re very pretty.” Zuko’s eyes reflected a twinkle of feelings he normally didn’t have, the slight raise of his eyelid brought light back into his eyes, because whatever just happened, made him feel just so much. She leaned her face against the cupping of his hand, her right eye closing, and even though she wasn’t looking at him, he had all her attention to himself. His thumb slid down her bottom lip, and she opened her mouth slightly. He couldn’t help but blush intensely, and Toph noticed the small change in his heartbeat’s pace, so she smirked.
“Zuko? Toph? Where are you two?” Sokka’s distinguished voice called out from the entrance of the dining room that faced the garden. His sluggish footsteps approached toward them once he spotted their figures sitting down by the unlit fireplace. Toph and Zuko retreated from their closeness, and turned over their seats to face him. “There you are! We were worried sick looking for you two, you’ve been gone for like an hour!” His voice cracked as he threw his arms up in the air, a couple of crumbs from the piece of bread he held in his hand landed on their hair, which they both shook off. “Why weren’t you with us anyway? We were about to- oh!” He let out as his eyes landed on Toph’s blurred lipstick, he connected the dots and his eyes widened.
“Out of here! Now!” Toph yelled, earthbending a wall which he agilely dodged. “Tell anyone and I’ll bury you where no one can find you!!” She grunted, but Sokka’s face remained in a naughty grin. “No Toph it’s okay, I don’t think that’s necessary, I’m pretty sure Sokka wont say anything, right Sokka?” Zuko queried rhetorically. “If you don’t, I won’t have to bring up what I walked into your tent that one time.” Zuko’s eyebrow raised, knowing damn well he had Sokka tied around their terms now. His grin dropped, “Yeah, I think imma leave you guys do whatever you were doi-“ Toph threw a stick at his head. “Not a word!” He quickly turned around and left mid nervous laughter. Zuko turned to Toph in silence, and she turned to him, and they started laughing, admitting that even if it was embarrassing what just happened was funny.
Toph clutched her stomach while catching up her breath between giggles. “We… we should go back.” She smiled cheerily, sounding way more energetic than she had the whole afternoon. “We should.” Wiping a tear of delight, he stood up, swiping some leaves and tree bark off of his Fire Lord gown, he stretched out his arm and offered to help her up, Toph took his hand and propped herself up, before they left, Zuko used his thumb to wipe the lipstick off her chin, then the two let go off their hand holding and walked over the grass side to side back to the dining room.
When they walked inside the building, Aang placed a plate he was holding on the table and trotted to greet them. “There you are! What were you doing gone for so long?” He innocently asked, to what Katara glared at him for. But Zuko replied with the same intent, “We were just catching up.” He assured, looking back at Toph, whose eyebrows tensed in slight annoyance. “Yeah… catching up.” Sokka whispered. If the dining room’s flooring wasn’t made out of expensive ceramic, she would’ve made sure that he became the last warrior of his tribe for real.
Breaking the awkwardness for them, one of the servants came walking from the kitchen with a big platter that held a cake, a well deserved dessert before they would all go to bed, as it was 1 am already. “Why don’t we all sit down.” Zuko suggested, walking toward his own chair to sit comfortably, resisting the urge to escort Toph to her own chair and make his attention for her too obvious, at least until they talked it out. The rest took their seats on the table as the servant placed the cake over the center of it, carefully aligning it to the embroidery tablecloth, then he went from seat to seat placing the cutlery and ceramic plates, leaving the table neatly arranged for a pleasant dinner. He bowed and walked back to the kitchen, leaving the group be.
The rest of the night went by comfortably, Toph felt no longer particularly down, and was able to feel herself through their dinner, the chattered about their New Year’s resolutions, their accomplishments of the last year and their plans for the upcoming one, Zuko shared some of his future personal trips and a few of the changes he would overview throughout the Fire Nation, they were quite at peace during the celebration so he could only guess there were no incidents or conflict this New Years, except a lot of noxious fireworks across the Nation. Through dinner, Zuko couldn’t help but glance at Toph a couple of times, even when she couldn’t sense he was riveting his eyes’ attention on her, but sometimes, she could imagine he did.
As the night concluded, almost everyone left to their quarters, it was only Aang, Toph and Zuko left talking and still awake enough to drink some tea before sleep. “I better get to Katara now, I’m pretty sure she’ll get upset if I take too long- not for, any specific- err, yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow!” Aang stuttered as he got on his feet, chuckling nervously trying to hide his blush, he bowed one last time before speeding off toward the left wing and the quarter hall. Toph snickered at the eventful moment, but fell silent once she realized it was just them now. In one way they were forced to be alone together, but part of them willingly stayed wanting to speak to one another, or spend more time together. For Toph, what happened between her and Zuko did… spike her, she couldn’t go to sleep and act as if nothing had happened, it’s not like she was going to ask Zuko to formalize, but she wondered if they could still be friends even after… that. Which as much as she denied, as long as they had alone time, they were bound to repeat. Toph swore to herself to never act upon impulse, specially not for a boy, but is it really impulse when things feel just so right? Sometimes, things bloom where you least expect them to, at least that’s what Iroh would say.
She got up from the table and wiped her face with the cloth napkin, folding it neatly and placing it on the table. “Toph, can we talk?” Zuko finally irrupted the silence, “Sure but, can we do it elsewhere? I’m really tired.” He nodded, but vocalized when he remembered she wouldn’t see his response. “Of course, I could walk you to your quarters if you want.” He offered, kicking back his chair with his kneecaps as he got up. He surrounded the table and met her by the dining room’s huge doorframe that faced the living area and main hall, then they continued walking next to each other. Silence settled for a little, until Zuko spoke up again. “So… what we did back there. What does it mean?” He shoved it with no sugarcoating, that would come off as inappropriate to most people and their comfort, but it was one of the qualities Toph appreciated about Zuko, it was easier to communicate and get things over with while saving yourself the trouble of a misunderstanding. However, this was the first time she didn’t know what to reply. There were many implications that came in between before they could even begin to think about a future together as a couple, and she knew Zuko knew that, hence why he remained silent in thought as she figured out what to reply exactly. Many other personal matters to catch up on also stood in the way, they had just seen each other after such a long time, and their closeness came from their conversations and not their time spent together, but even with all those inconsistencies, she didn’t feel it was a mistake, as mixed up her heart and mind felt. She enjoyed the chemistry she shared with Zuko, and she didn’t want to throw that away. She smiled, which brought some kind of calm to Zuko.
They kept walking, crossing the Palace and entering the left wing. Zuko’s boots echoed his footsteps across the hall’s tiled floor, completely opposite to the way Toph’s feet absorbed all impact force from her own weight, giving her silent steps. “I’m, not sure, but it doesn’t mean little to me.” Toph finally spoke, raising her chin slightly. “I feel that’s one of those things you can’t really talk… but…” she stuttered, Zuko looked at her eagerly, unsure of what she could say that she would have a hard time with. “But act upon.” She let out, her cheekbones tinting rose, giving her a sunburnt look, even in the middle of the night.
His heart skipped a beat at that suggestion, it dawned on him that even though Toph was the same person he remembered, the little girl aspects were no more, as much as he wasn’t the wannabe teenager he used to be. They had both grown up, and they’d continue to do so, and even though it felt sudden and risky, it felt right, that they had a right to decide for themselves and as she suggested, see where this lead them. Part of him was unsure if it was a smart decision, but another, the one fascinated with her features and persona insisted on allowing himself to act foolishly. You can never have everything, so it’s best to find middle ground to that of what your heart desires and your mind decides.
Before they knew it, they had reached Toph’s bedroom doors, she grabbed on the doorknob again, then twisted it and prodded it open. Hesitantly she walked in, but didn’t close the door, instead she spoke again. “We can still spend some time together you know, you don’t have to leave yet.” Zuko smiled, “…Okay.” He walked in and closed the door behind himself.