Archive of Our Own

Lucy had a small, minor problem. Or at least that's what she had to tell herself. 

She was dating Nolan, and yes she knows not the best of choices, but she actually liked him. He made her feel safe, put on very cute dates, and always listened to her. It makes it sound like the perfect roommate or something, but the thing was…

He wasn’t Angela Lopez. 

She doesn’t know when it started. From mornings and evenings in the locker room, to roll calls, to afternoon paperwork she doesn’t know. 

All she knows is that she’s in deep. 

Her mind was engulfed with Angela, her curvy figure, her luscious long curls, her smile and laughter, and god her bravery. She was so outspoken, every sassy remark at Sgt. Grey made her smile. Every time she spoke it was like Lucy’s heart forgot how to beat, she forgot how to breathe, the only thing keeping her going was Tim and his maddening orders.

She walked to grab the war bags as she watched Angela, the chuckled over in laughter at something Tim had said. She tapped him on the shoulder, almost as if she was trying to laugh away at whatever he had said. It worked too because he looked irritated, as if she ignored whatever he said. 

The man had placed down the bags, her mind still reeling. God, she was so beautiful, so perfect in everything she did. Every once in a while, what traced her mind was the fact that she had a boyfriend. A partner, she wasn’t allowed to have these thoughts because technically she’s cheating. And that’s what broke her heart, the fact that she was gonna have to break his, there was no other way to put it.. 

She had to break Nolan’s heart. 

She grabbed the war bags and placed them on her shoulder. “Hey, are you good?” Asked Jackson.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“You were kind of staring at Lopez? And you seem kinda distracted.”

“Not staring, just wondering what she’s laughing about. And I’m tired.”

“Uh-huh. Why are you so interested in their jokes?” He said blatantly. 

“I’m not, just curious.”

“Yeah, I bet.”

Shift was brutal. More Tim tests against the excruciating L.A. heat, all Lucy was looking forward to was going home to her bed. Not going to see her supposed man, which should’ve been a clear warning. She was gonna do it soon, she swore. 

Though she was looking forward to seeing Angela in those locker rooms. Not anything sexual, though her body was nothing if not a work of art, just seeing her out the shower with her curly hair down was something in and of itself to look forward to. 

God, her curly hair was beautiful. She always had a thing for girls with curly hair, ever since she even knew she was gay. She just couldn’t resist. 

She changed out and got her daily dose of Angela Lopez, somehow she still looked so beautiful even after an exhausting shift. She looked so hot in those uniforms, one of the only people that could pull it off. She left the locker room and walked up to her car before she saw no other than Talia Bishop posted up there.

This couldn’t be good.

“I know about you and Nolan,” Lucy looked at her, shocked with disbelief. The relationship could ruin her whole career, possibly, for something that isn’t even real. Why did she even feel the need to notify me, Lucy thought. “And you’re right to keep it secret, but you’re wrong to keep it going. It’ll brand you. No matter how good you are or how hard you work. Listen to me, break things off before it’s too late.” She said before walking away. 

She wasn’t going straight to her bed tonight. 

Lucy pulled into Nolan’s driveway and headed in with her key. This big so called ‘guest’ house where he lived, well it was ginormous. And too damn big. 

She saw Nolan cooking some food on his stovetop, glancing over at her in surprise but also joy. “Hey, I didn’t think I would see you tonight. Rough first shift in all.” He couldn't tell the change in her demeanor, men really were so clueless. 

“Yeah, uh me either. Listen, can you stop that, I need to talk to you about something. Something serious.” Lucy said as she led him to the couch. 

“Okay? Lucy, you're scaring me. You can talk to me about anything, you know that right?” Nolan said, pulling her hands in with his. 

And god did she want to move it out of there. Truth be told, her heart wasn’t in this for a long time. “Listen, Bishop approached me today. Told me that she knew about us and that we, no that I, needed to end it. She said it would brand me.”

“You’re not going to listen to her are you?”

“I mean- yeah? She’s right, this isn’t worth our careers Nolan. And my heart hasn’t been in this for a while, this was always casual, never meant to last.”

“So, that’s it? We’re just done?” He pleaded.

“We are, I’m sorry Nolan. This is a rebound relationship for you, off of a 20 year long marriage. Just try to understand.” Lucy said as she stood up. 

As she reached the door, he started pleading with her. “Lucy, I-I don’t wanna lose you-”

“Well, you are. I’m sorry Nolan.” She said as she closed the door. 

As Lucy changed out from shift, she felt good. She broke up with Nolan, which was something that needed to happen. Jackson was already getting suspicious and she could look at other women all she wanted. 

Or at least one in particular. 

She felt just as she did on any other day, but something felt different. Maybe it was the weight of the relationship lost, in a good way like it was lifted. Or maybe because Anglea had decided to wear makeup after shift, who knew where she was going. 

As she finished changing out she saw Angela grab her things, lick her lips, and walk over in her direction. “Chen, you down for some fun? Me and Talia are gonna get a drink, you should join. Being a woman, a woman of color no less, it’s lonely in the boys circle.”

“So you want me to join the women’s circle instead?”

Angela leaned in closer, breathing Lucy in. “Yeah, what other choice do you have? Drinks with Nolan and Jackson can’t be so, entertaining, can it?”

Lucy was having difficulty keeping her composure. Angela was so close she could feel her warmth, her perfume lingered in the air. She could barely focus when she looked in her direction, let alone when she decided to make her lose all cognitive function. “Depends on your definition of entertaining.”

“You’re probably the brightest thing there, sunshine. If you do want some entertainment, the sports bar on La Cienga is where it’s gonna be. And who knows what will happen.” Angela said as she walked out, finishing her session of toying with Lucy.

Lucy has never moved so fast in her life.

Lucy drove over to the bar where Angela told her to meet as fast as she possibly could without being pulled over.  

As she entered the bar, a few things were of note. The rusted sports themed decor, the rough smell of beer, and the dark overhead lights. 

And yet she still saw her sitting there, her hair glowing in the light. 

Angela sat there in some curvy jeans, tight fitted blouse, and boots. It was electrifying, the way she looked intoxicated Lucy. Her head rolled back at something Bishop had said, beer in hand about a third of it gone. 

Angela’s eyes met Lucy’s. Her exasperated look from laughter transformed to a happy, softened look at her presence. Angela’s hand shot up, waving Lucy over to where Talia and herself were sitting at, by the bar. Lucy walked over, greeted the two women, and sat down. 

“I see an invitation was extended.” Talia said, coyly. 

“Don’t be like that. Women supporting women, or something like that. Especially as cops.” Angela said. “Besides, Chen here is one of the good ones,” Angela said, grabbing Lucy’s shoulder and hugging her sort of sideways. She was touchy, and Lucy loved it. “Badass takedown before day one? Tim is one lucky officer.”

“What can I say, I tried my best.” Lucy admitted. 

“It was more than tried, but anyways how’s your rookie year so far? More importantly, how’s Tim?” Angela questioned. 

“Tim is intense, but I’m learning a lot.”

“What a political response," Angela joked, as she played with Lucy’s hair. “Anything else of note?”

“Yeah, how about romances? Anything there?” Talia asked, suspiciously. 

Lucy knew where she was going with this. She wanted to know if she was still with Nolan, thank god she wasn’t because she doesn’t think she could lie in front of Angela. She just had this way of pushing down walls she tries so hard to build. 

“Talia!” Angela exclaimed. “You can’t just ask her about her possible partner before buying her a drink first!” She said as she waved down the bartender to get Lucy a drink. 

“No that’s fine, you really don’t have to-”

“You came here for a drink right? Let me guess, whiskey?” Angela asked. 

“Vodka.”

“Smart choice.” Angela said to her as she ordered her a Vodka Red Bull, a favorite of hers. 

“So, let’s rewind. Now that you do have a drink, do you have a boyfriend, Officer Chen?”

“Nothing on the horizon I’m afraid.” Lucy asked as she took another sip from her drink.

After some more conversation, and teasing on Angela’s part, Talia spoke up. “You two have a stronger willpower than me. I'm heading out, night.” She said getting up. 

“Night Talia,” Angela said as she walked away.

“So Lucy,” Angela asked, leaning in. “What’s your deal?”

“What?” Lucy said, astounded.

Angela leaned in, her knee on hers. “I said, what’s your deal? " You don’t strike me as someone to be emotionally futile.”

“Why, are you interested or something?” Lucy said, as Angela drew her in near. 

“Maybe I am. You’re definitely interesting. Let me ask you this, what about you? What’s your deal?”

“I’m a mystery Chen, always shifting.”

“I don’t think you’re much of a mystery. I think you think of yourself as mysterious, but want to be found out.”

“What would you be finding?”

“Hopefully, something worth noticing.”

She always noticed Angela, and after the night she had she was feeling good. Really good. 

Angela wore her hair down into work, she always did. She would tie it up in the locker room, god it was a shame. Her perfume filled the air, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on, but it sure smelled expensive. 

Her rambling thoughts stopped suddenly as Sgt. Grey walked into the roll call room to get started. “Settle down, settle down! Everyone have a seat.”

People sat down and calmed in his presence. “Today is a special day for our rookies. ‘Cause today, we switch things up, that’s right! Everyone gets a new training officer. Nolan, you’ll be riding with Officer Bradford. West, you’ll be riding with Officer Bishop. And Chen, you’ll be with Officer Lopez. But learning how to navigate a new T.O. is not your only challenge. By the end of next shift, I expect every rookie to uncover something personal about their training officer. Something they don’t want you to know. This will be a test of your investigative instincts and your fortitude. Best insight will win a day off, worst insight gets Saturday night cavity searches.” The entire roll call groaned as he said that, that was a brutal punishment. “That’s it. Good luck.”

Lucy stood up as Sgt. Grey dismissed roll call and noticed Angela approaching her. It made her heart twist in ways she couldn’t quite explain, it made her feel that much better for breaking up with Nolan. “Chen.”

“Officer Lopez-”

“No need for pleasantries, how bout you go set up the shop, I’ll meet you there in five.”

“Understood, ma’am.”

“Let’s see if Officer Bradford trained you well. Or if you need some special help.”

Just the way she said ‘special’ made Lucy’s heart flutter in a way it shouldn’t. 

They were in the car on patrol, in between calls. “So Chen, what you need to know about me. My father wasn’t around when I was a kid, it made me resilient. I took care of my four older brothers as a kid, and that made me tough.”

“No offense, I don’t think that’s how Sgt. Grey wanted me to gain insight?”

“Semantics. So, Chen,” There was the flutter again. “Tell me, why did you wanna become a cop?”

“Is that like a T.O. cop get to know you question?” Lucy asked back in a retaliatory nature. 

“No, if you’re asking why Bradford asked you it’s ‘cause we need to know why you’re in the business, if you’re serious or not. But here it’s a genuine wanting to understand you, on a personal level.”

“I thought I was supposed to be the one gaining insight?”

“Well, we all can't be as good as you sunshine.” Her heartbeat flickered at the name. “So tell me, what intrigued you to become a cop?”

“Well, since you asked- I grew up in therapy, my parents own personal pet project. I always wanted to make a difference, make a change, it wasn’t until grad school that my perception changed a little bit.”

“Grad school? You got some high standards there Chen.”

“Yeah well, they weren’t exactly mine to begin with. My parents wanted me to go to grad school, I dropped out, took some time for myself, and decided to become a cop. The pieces seemed to fall from there.”

“Well, either way I’m glad that you got here. We need more people like you on the force.”

“What, like women of color or something?”

“Something like that, you’re also something special Chen. Apart from your heritage or gender, you know how to light up a room.”

Lucy didn’t quite know how to feel about that. As to Angela flirting with her, couldn’t be- could it?

“7-Adam-07, Armed Robbery to the Central Bank on main street. Info to your box.”

Angela picked up the radio. “7-Adam-07 responding.” She placed the radio down as she glanced at Lucy. “Ready for some action, Chen?”

“Yes ma’am, you know I am.”

“Good work. That’s what I like to hear.”

She didn’t know how she was going to make it a whole week. 

The shop pulled up outside the bank, guns drawn and eyes flickering across, they entered the building. There were no hostages to be found yet, this didn’t make any sense this job was definitely sloppy. “This is 7-Adam-07, we’re gonna need backups for a possible hostage situation.” Angela said into the radio.

“Backup is on the way.” Repeated dispatch.

Angela pointed her fingers in one direction, signaling to Lucy to head that way. Splitting up, they searched for their targets. Lucy scoured what seemed to be a waiting room for the bank, before she heard gunshots.

Gunshots.

Followed by a gut wrenching scream, a scream that pierced Lucy’s ears, something that she would remember for a long time, and then follow-up shots. It was Angela. Fuck.

Gaining cover and concealment, she rushed over to where she heard the gunshot. She saw a large man standing over her, Angela on the floor unable to move and clutching her leg along with her side, and he was readying to take another shot. 

A lethal one. 

Lucy takes the shot, one shot then another. Multiple fires, she wounds him in the shoulder and the arm. Good, she thinks, he can rot in hell for all she cares. 

He runs over to find his version of concealment, leaving his gun behind. Lucy runs over to where he is at and grabs at him, handcuffing him. “Where is your partner, huh? Answer me?” Lucy yelled at the man.

“I don’t know anything about anything lady.” He mutters. “Aaahh! Can you watch it there, sensitive arm.”

“Fine. Dispatch be notified we need multiple RA’s, multiple gunshot wounds, one officer shooting. One in custody.”

“RA’s are on their way, be advised.”

Lucy sighed in relief as she heard the doors swing open, orders shouting in in response. Her backup had finally arrived. That’s when she heard Angela’s whimpering. 

Tears swelled in her eyes. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, she could tell her one day a-and they could have the future she imagined. Not like this, she might lose her forever. Backup could handle the robbers, she thought as she rushed over by Angela’s side.

“Lo-Lopez, look at me,” Lucy said as she started assessing her injuries. “Everything’s gonna be fine, you’re not dying today.”

“Chances don’t really look in my favor Chen.” Angela said, wishfully.

“I don’t believe in chance, I believe in you.” She said before she could even register what she had said. She didn’t regret it though, she wouldn’t take it back. 

“You’re betting on the wrong horse, the odds aren’t in my favor-”

“That doesn’t matter, only you do!”

Their eyes locked, longer than they should have. It was everything that couldn’t be said, everything that she was feeling close to the vest was now on her sleeve. They were close, closer then they should’ve been. 

“Lucy-”

“Oh, fuck it! I have feelings for you Angela Lopez! I feel everything for you, I wanna be with you and that means you can’t die, so I need you to stay with me!”

“You- you have feelings for me?” Angela whispered.

“Yeah, talk about insight.” She could hear the paramedic pull up to where they were sitting. “They’re gonna take great care of you, so you can’t die. I need you.”

“I’ve never been great at that.”

“At letting others take care of you?”

“Of being needed.”

The paramedics loaded Angela into the ambulance, that’s when  Bishop, Nolan, Jackson, and Tim arrived on scene. Lucy knew that once they heard their call sgn in danger they rushed over, she would’ve done the same.

Tim looked so defeated at Angela’s helpless condition and rushed over to check on her. Jackson, while he looked conflicted, came over to Lucy’s side. “Lucy, what happened?” And while Lucy really wanted to answer his question, she really couldn’t. It was as if she was experiencing everything from outside her own body. 

Her mind was working as it normally did, thinking and retaining information as it should, but she felt stuck, frozen. She couldn’t move or say anything to his question, and she knew he was worried about her. 

He shook her shoulder. “Lucy, can you hear me?” His face was overwhelmed with panic and worry. 

Her heartbeat just started faster, would Angela be okay? What if she never got the chance to fight for her, to see if there would be a them? She felt for her so much, just for her, it was like another piece of her was away. 

Jackson saw the small tears escape her face, as an acknowledgement of him along with a small nod. “Okay, okay- she’s gonna be fine, Lucy.” He took her increasingly small frame and pulled her into a hug, a small sob escaping her. She shut her eyes as she cried, Jackson just knowing what she needed. 

Eventually she gathers enough strength to breathe again, to be able to move. In seeing her state, Bishop tells Jackson to drive Lucy and Angela’s shop to the hospital. Some switches happen, Nolan with Bishop, Jackson by himself as his original T.O. was in the ambulance, and her and Tim. He and Lucy would ride together, but then it occurred to her. 

She cried at a crime scene. Like actually cried, like fully sobbed. 

As a woman, a woman of color no less, it was an automatic rule to never give any warranty of the claims that women are weak, crybabies, emotional, any of those. Angela got shot and she couldn’t move, god the men were gonna have a field day with that. 

They got in the shop and Tim put it in drive. She still didn’t have her T.O. figured out, the wife, the military background, the anger, it drove her mad. She was determined, usually, today she was just empty. 

“What’s running through that head of yours,” Tim said as he focused on the road. “I know it seems like a lot right now, but she’s going to be fine.”

“Nothing,” She muttered as she rested her head on the cold window. “Just thinking of how the men will torture me for crying at a crime scene.”

“If anyone gives you some issues you send them to me,” He said strongly as he looked at her. “I’ll put them in their place.”

That made Lucy’s spiral take a backseat, what did he just say? This was a much kinder and empathetic version of the T.O she had over the past two months. Her head ran circles around that she couldn’t understand, why was he being so nice?

“Thanks sir, that’s particularly compassionate coming from you.” She paused as she thought of the words to say. “That’s new, can I ask why?”

“I can be nice when need be, and Angela’s my best friend. I need her to be okay, and I appreciate that you were there for her.”

“It’s not like I saved her, the doctors will do that.”

“You got the guy Chen, you’re the reason there isn’t a bullet in her chest or her head. She’ll pull through, she’s tough as nails.”

“I hope you’re right.”

The worst part about the hospitals was the wait. 

There are the secondary things of course, the sterile smell, the bright white lights that never let you know what time of day it is, the cardboard box seats, but the wait was the absolute worst.

They were in no rush to notify everyone of her condition, which was understandable, because they were trying to save her life. But god, Lucy hated the wait.

Eventually a nurse came out and notified everyone that Angela had pulled through and that she would be moved from post-op soon and that we could see her. And it was as if a literal weight had been lifted off of Lucy’s chest. Angela was okay, and things might be absolutely fucked up from then on for her but only one thing mattered. 

Angela was alive.

Then there was more waiting, it wasn’t as bad as the last time but it was not a huge improvement. Angela was okay and she was just itching to see her. To see if she messed everything up, but she didn’t regret it, not really. She has feelings for her, and if she didn’t feel the same way back at least she told her.

Or at least that's what she told herself. 

Truth be told, Lucy was going a little stir crazy in this damn waiting room. She needed to do something. “I’m gonna go get some snacks-” She picked up her feet and she was gone. 

“Chen-” She heard in the background, most likely Tim, but if she sat there for one more second, no she just wouldn’t.

Cheetos, gummy bears, m&m’s, sour cream & onion, so many choices and all of them felt so meaningless. She grabbed a couple of what could be described as ‘good’, not that she cared she just needed another excuse to leave. 

She returned to her seat to find just Jackson sitting there. “Where is everyone?”

“Hold on, what’s going on with you? Talk to me. First the thing at the bank and now you’re so welled up.” Jackson said as he pointed for her to sit down. 

“By the ‘thing at the bank’ do you mean Angela getting shot? Cause I have every reason to be upset.” Lucy snapped back. 

“That’s not what I mean. You literally couldn’t move until the ambulance left. I know you, you have very big, very overwhelming emotions. So talk to me, I’m here to listen.”

“We split up.” Lucy muttered out. 

“Okay?”

“And she got shot, that man was standing over her, about to shoot her in the face. And that would’ve been on me.”

“It’s not on anyone but him, you got him and he’s going behind bars for the rest of the foreseeable future. It’s not on you Lucy, okay? It’s not on you.”

“Thanks, J. I guess, I don’t know, I just feel guilty.”

“Okay, well you shouldn’t. If that was me today, you would be in this seat telling me the exact same thing.”

“You’re right. Damn it, you’re always right.”

“Okay, now come on. Angela’s awake.”

“Oh what the fuck! Let’s go!” Lucy said as she rushed to the nurses station.

Walking into Angela’s room, Lucy’s heart had never beat faster. She thought that just conversing with Angela would get it going, this was a whole other ballpark. 

Noticing Lucy and Jackson’s arrival, the group focused their energy on them. “Where were you two?”

Lucy lifted up a bag of snacks as she said. “Chips and unhealthy finds.” 

“Yeah, well. I’m happy you’re fine Angela, me and Talia are gonna head out. We’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Haven’t kicked the bucket yet Bradford. Disappoint you?”

“Never,” He directed his attention to the other two. “Chen. West.” He said as he gave them a goodbye nod. 

“Bye Tim, Bishop.” Lucy said as they walked out. 

“Lopez,” Jackson rushed to her side. “How are you feeling?”

She scoffed. “Well, that’s a pretty stupid question,” Angela admitted. “I just got shot. I’m feeling pretty shit right now.”

“Yeah, well I had to ask.” Jackson said as he sat down. Lucy skulked in the corner. “But seriously, are you tired, are you in any pain?”

“Medication makes me tired, but thanks to that I’m not in any pain so…”

“So all is well?” Jackson asked.

“As much as can be West, yes.”

“Well, I’m happy for you, and I’ll be back tomorrow but I’m exhausted. I really hope you have a good recovery. Luce, you wanna go?” Jackson asked, pointing to her.

“No, I think I’ll stay.” Lucy said. 

“Okay, well let me know if you want a ride home. Otherwise, I’ll lead myself out. Rest up Lopez!” He said, waving as he walked out. 

Lucy went and sat down in the chair, hands in her face. “Lopez, I am so, so sor-”

“Don’t you dare apologize or give me a reason as to why you could’ve done better. I know you, I’m alive because of you. There’s nothing you could’ve done differently.”

“I know I know,” She sat there, feeling the admission of what was said. “There is one thing I don’t regret though. No matter what you say, I just-”

“Just what?”

“I just hope that I didn’t fuck everything up.” Lucy said.

“I don’t think you did, no. I think we’re on the same page actually.”

“You’re not delirious are you? Cause I don’t want you agreeing to anything if you are.”

“I’m not delirious, Lucy. I’m just, a little insane for you is all.”

“That’s, wow, that’s…” Lucy couldn't comprehend it. Of all the possibilities of what would turn out, this seemed the least probable. 

“Lucy I want you to know I don’t wanna force you into anything. If this isn’t what you want, if that was a brash last minute decision, no hard feeling-”

“No, I meant everything I said, every last word. I want you, every part of you.” Lucy said before she could recognize what she was saying. The vulnerability of it all, it was supposed to be hard, supposed to be difficult, but it wasn’t. Not with her. “Are you in this?”

“Yeah, yeah I am.” Angela’s hands outreached to Lucy’s face, and pulled her in close. Her lips touched Angela’s, and it was better than all the anticipation made her feel. 

She felt the warmth of Angela’s lips pass through her, when her teeth shifted over hers she shivered.

She melted into the kiss, moaning at every curve. Their hands in each other’s hands, she was entangled with Angela Lopez. 

She felt Angela’s moans of pleasure, but also a moan of pain? Lucy pulled back. “Are you okay? I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“Little sore, it doesn’t matter now, nothing does. Come here.” Angela said, locking Lucy back into the kiss. If Angela was fine, so was she. She waited so long to touch her like this.

After some time, she released for air, moaning heavily. “Wow- uh, fuck that was hot,” She said before she realized. “Wait, no sorry, I’m fucking this up aren’t I?”

“Sunshine, that was perfect, you’re perfect.”

“Okay, well Angela Lopez,” Lucy stopped, choosing her next words. This had to be perfect. “would you like to go on a date with me?”

“I’d love to.”