Chapter Text
Chapter One: Insomnia
(Lee Hyunjin POV)
Lee Hyunjin couldn’t sleep. The air from his bedroom window flushed against his face, the moonlight piercing into his eyes as he opened them. He groaned, using his hand to shield his face before he rolled over, his hands running through his hair. He blinked a few times. Once he could see more clearly, his sight adjusting to the dark bedroom, he stretched his hand over to his night table and snatched his phone. The bright screen made him squint as the phone flashed on, his lockscreen photo staring back at him; a picture of Hyunjin and his older brother.
He stared at the photo as his eyes adjusted to the bright screen, his gaze lingering on his brother’s relaxed yet guarded expression. He ripped his focus away to look at the time. It was five in the morning. No, six in the morning? No, no, it was five—five twenty.
He sighed, letting his arm drop as he rolled onto his back, staring into the darkness above him. He couldn’t really see the ceiling. Sometimes, looking into the darkness made him wonder if there was something hidden in the shadows, something he couldn’t feel or sense, something that didn’t make a single sound, but still breathed at the steady rhythm of a ticking clock, its glare locked onto Hyunjin’s soul. Something that was watching him. A stare that reached into his lungs, making his blood run cold, suffocating him.
He tried to breathe. He tried to blink. But he couldn’t. He tried again—his entire body was frozen. A pair of eyes blinked from within the shadows, followed by a familiar face with a twisted smile and sharp, dark gaze.
A lifeless, consuming, stabbing gaze that crawled from the dark and choked him.
“Hyung…?” Hyunjin heard the words leave his lips.
He flung up in the bed, panting. His breaths were heavy as he filled his lungs with oxygen, his sweat drooling down his neck. He flung his gaze back up to the roof. He could now see the ceiling, even in the dark.
His body relaxed, his shoulders loosening as his breathing slowed. Was it a nightmare? Sleep paralysis? His phone was left face down, discarded by his legs. He reached for it, his sweaty hands stumbling to hold it firmly.
It was five in the morning. No… it was four. It was four. Four twenty. Hyunjin felt a headache coming on and tossed his sheets off him, flicking the lights on and getting dressed for work.
He couldn’t sleep anymore.
He walked to work. It wasn’t a long walk, only twenty minutes, and he loved how the wind swam through his shoulder length hair and caressed his warm neck. It was calming, to say the least, to be able to find comfort in the steady beat of his own two feet swinging through the air and clinking against the sidewalk with each step. He usually went to work with his brother, but… maybe it was best to go early today—to clear his mind and find his own flow a little bit. He tried to shake off whatever nightmare he’d had earlier, and he hoped this would help, although his fingers still trembled as he clutched his bag.
Thankfully, he had access to the company building twenty-four seven due to unpredictable work hours. He checked his watch as approached the tall company building. It was five thirty—and this time, he was sure he had woken up around an hour ago. He scanned his card on the door scanner, and cracked open the door silently.
There was some comfort in the silence that greeted him so early in the morning, but, glancing through the dimly lit building, there was something unsettling about it as well. At least he wasn’t the first one to arrive, he noted, spotting the soft lighting in the main room as opposed to complete darkness.
Darkness…
He really hated the dark, hated how easy it was to get lost, or how his brain always convinced him that, in the dark, there was always something waiting. Maybe… It was the feeling that he didn’t have control or knowledge of what was happening in the dark that bothered him most.
Lee Hyunjin traveled through the building, and, when he reached the second floor, he discovered many employees and staff who were clocking in for six in the morning. He went up to the third floor, room twenty five, which was where he and the few he worked with would convene at lunch or after work to chat and eat.
As he pushed down the sliver handle and pulled the door, he was met with an empty, lightless, lifeless room.
Of course. Why would anyone else be here so early?
Everyone who liked to meet up here clocked in for work around nine, himself included. Of course he was alone here. He wasn’t sure why he’d expected any different—but there was this weird feeling beating in his chest as he swallowed… disappointment? Maybe? Or maybe it was just exhaustion from only sleeping two hours at best…?
He sighed and stepped in, closing the door.
He really had trouble understanding his emotions, sometimes. They sprung on him like different new colours flashing on a black screen—he couldn’t pinpoint why they were there, how long they would last, or when they would appear, but he always knew they were there when they came. Sometimes emotions would build within him, while other times they would scare him when he least expected it, almost like they were ghosts living in his body and mind. He did… often feel like a ghost himself… No, what? How would he feel like a ghost? He’s not dead? Hyunjin touched his face. He was very real and very alive, or at least he hoped he was. He shook his head and sat down, not wanting to get all inside his head again when it was too early for him to think clearly.
It was now almost six. The sun still hadn’t risen, and Hyunjin hadn’t turned on the lights, so the room was still dark. He preferred the natural moonlight coming through the windows to the blinding white lights of the room. Hyunjin was looking at his phone, scrolling mindlessly to distract himself when he heard the door click shut. He looked up.
“Oh? Felix-ah?”
“Good morning, Hyunjin-ah!” Felix said cheerfully with a small bow. It always amazed Hyunjin how Felix could always be so smiley despite being so busy. “You’re here so early!”
Hyunjin stared at Felix for a second longer. He was probably just tired… Felix’s words didn’t reach him. “Hm?” Hyunjin mumbled after a few seconds, his large, dark eyes locked onto Felix’s face—his bright smile, his light brown freckles scattered on his cheeks, and his blond hair that snuggled around his neck. Hyunjin usually used art to distract himself from his emotions, and so, he was watching art shorts on social media just now, and when he looked at Felix, Hyunjin sometimes questioned if Felix was a work of art drawn by someone. Hyunjin often wondered, with the way Felix’s brown eyes glittered so brightly constantly, maybe his freckles were just the stars that couldn’t fit into his eyes and so they tumbled out onto his face. Maybe that was why Felix’s smile was warm enough to lighten up the whole room and bring comfort to anyone’s worries. Even in the dark room, the moonlight caught his figure, shining light behind him that made him glow with an ethereal, angelic beauty.
“Hyunjin-ah?”
Hyunjin blinked, noticing Felix’s confused expression. “Ah. Sorry…”
Felix placed his bag down and sat across from him. “You seem tired.” Felix’s voice seemed to drop a few octaves as he spoke, falling into his more natural, deep tone. “Is everything alright?”
Hyunjin shook his head. “...I’m just tired. And...”
Truthfully, Hyunjin’s thoughts were rather complicated. There was a lot on his mind… he and his brother had… plans to fulfil today. Plans he was scared to admit he questioned a little. He wasn’t sure if he could succeed, and he was more unsure if…
“You can tell me, if you want!” Felix said, reaching his warm hand out to place on Hyunjin’s shaking ones. “I don’t mind listening.”
Hyunjin sighed. He and Felix weren’t really too close. Despite working at this company for years, they barely spoke, and often only exchanged simple pleasantries. But in the last few weeks, Felix had been talking to Hyunjin a little more—enough for Hyunjin to maybe consider them friends, enough that they had dropped the usage of formal language. So maybe it was okay to vent. Or, maybe not… But, they had gotten closer… So maybe it was okay. Hyunjin reminded himself of their touching hands. Were they friends…?
“I’ve just had a lot on my mind…” Hyunjin admitted slowly, his speech relaxed and smooth despite his nerves. It was a habit he couldn’t shake—he always spoke with a certain… breathiness? Smoothness? He didn’t know. Maybe it was because his lips were a little puffy, maybe because he was tired, but he felt like he sounded a little like a pouting child as he spoke. “To tell the truth… I lost my memories at some point while I was a child… I don’t really remember much of anything before around ten years ago. I didn’t even know my own name.” He paused. Hyunjin put his fingers to his mouth while speaking; it was another habit he couldn’t shake. He felt his heart beating faster as he said all this. Maybe it was too much…
Felix didn’t break eye contact with him, and his expression was reassuring. Hyunjin wasn’t sure why, but there was something about Felix that made it seem like it was safe to tell him anything. Still, Hyunjin felt his hand sweating a little under Felix’s. Maybe he was just nervous. Yeah. Just nervous. He found the strength to continue.
“You know… Manager Minho-hyung?”
Felix nodded, smiling softly.
“He found me back when I was astray, and raised me as if I were his real little brother…” Hyunjin had… complicated emotions about his brother, Lee Minho. But he could only admit that he relied on him and needed him more than anything. Minho was the reason he was here. “But… sometimes I wonder…”
The sun was slowly rising, painting the sky orange and pink.
“I wonder… who am I? Did I have a family…? Are they… out there? Looking for me? Or… d-did they… leave me?” He realized he was stuttering and quiet, and one of those surprise emotions exploded from his chest. He swallowed, looking anywhere but at Felix.
He felt Felix’s small hands squeeze his. “Hyunjin-ah… I’m sure your real family loves you… I’m sure. Even if we don’t know where they are, who they are, or how you ended up like this.”
Hyunjin covered his eyes as he felt them begin to water. “H-how can you be sure…?” He finally managed to mutter.
Felix squeezed his hands again, and Hyunjin wiped his eyes before meeting Felix’s soft gaze. Felix, who was frowning, smiled again, just a little—just to bring Hyunjin comfort. “I just believe it. Maybe, sometime, I can help you look?”
Hyunjin nodded, trying to stop his sinuses from congesting, trying to push down the emotions bubbling in his chest.. “Thank you… I’m sorry for rambling…”
“No, I’m glad you told me…” Felix promised, though there was a slight sadness behind his eyes.
Before Hyunjin knew it, the sun was almost all the way up, the pink fading from the sky as quickly as it had come. It was a pretty sunset. Maybe, just maybe, it would make for a good painting. And so, he tried to remember it, even with his tired, tear-stained eyes. He made eye contact with Felix again. “Thank you…” He muttered again, calming his breathing as he squeezed his hand back.
Maybe they weren’t strangers after all.
『••✎••』
(A few hours later…)
The time seemed to fly by quickly. The sun was shining, and it was time for Hyunjin to get ready for his meeting at nine o’clock. He was looking at his face in the bathroom mirror, trying to make sure he didn’t look too pouty or tired after what happened this morning. He felt so embarrassed remembering how he cried in front of Felix like that… Ugh, if it were anyone else, he might have just died right there and then from embarrassment. But it was Felix, so.. Maybe it was okay. Felix promised not to tell anyone what had happened. And with Felix, everything felt like it would be okay. Still, Hyunjin felt bad for burdening him. He stepped out into the hall after checking his hair one last time, the loud chatter of the other staff and the bright lights overwhelming his senses immediately. Hyunjin headed to the meeting room, inhaling sharply as he opened the bright red door with feigned confidence.
“Huh? Nobody’s here yet?” He scratched the back of his head. “So.. what number am I?” He held out his fingers and counted up. “One, two, three… Oh. I’m the first one here!” He walked calmly over to the large desk in the middle of the room, one hand in his pocket and the other hand swaying by his side, almost carefree. He didn’t want to show his negative emotions from earlier this morning—hopefully he was hiding it well enough. He was thankful no one was there yet… he wasn’t ready to have to socialize. The rectangular, white table in the room has seven seats. Seven? Shouldn’t there have been eight? No, someone wouldn’t be coming. Seven was right, even though it felt wrong. Their group was always eight, never more, never less. It was only a temporary shift. There were three chairs on each side, and one at the head of the table—that one belonged to the director. Hyunjin chose to sit on the right side of the table, in the seat closest to where the director would be sitting.
A second later, Felix opened the door, and Seo Changbin was trailing behind him with a concerning amount of cups of coffee—one in his mouth, and others in two holders he held in each hand. Hyunjin locked eyes with Felix. Don’t be awkward, don’t be awkward…
“Hyunjin-ssi, good morning~!” Felix said cheerfully as he walked in, his hands lightly tucked in his pockets as if nothing had happened earlier. (It was Hyunjin’s request that Felix should speak nothing of it.) Hyunjin smiled slightly, though he was sure he still had that partially pouty look on his face as he often did. It was tough to give a smile when looking at the person who he’d just cried to; all of Hyunjin’s memories from this morning were flooding back, embarrassing him more by the second. Felix was as beautiful and smiley as always, a sight that always managed to distract Hyunjin. It was as if nothing could keep Felix down; it was admirable, really. Before Hyunjin got to greet him back, Felix turned around to look at Changbin. Hyunjin also shifted his gaze to Changbin. Oh, that’s why Felix had addressed him formally. Hyunjin ignored all the cups of coffee he was holding, deciding not to question how he was managing it. It made Changbin look ridiculously cool and silly at the same time for a random work day.
“Oh? Hey, Changbin-ssi, you’re seriously strong~! You work out just to lift coffee?” Felix asked curiously with his signature smile. Hyunjin just stared at them, eyes half out-of-it.
Changbin made eye contact with Felix. His dark eyes that were partially covered by his black bangs glowed with a curious amusement as he raised his eyebrows at the complement. He said something, but it was completely unclear thanks to the cup rim between his teeth.
“What?” Felix leaned a little closer.
Changbin took a softer tone and repeated himself a little more clearly. “Aren’t you just complementing me to get me to order one for you?”
Felix laughed. “Oh, not at all~” he said before walking to the table. Changbin just raised his eyebrows at that, following Felix’s movements with his eyes. Hyunjin fiddled with his rings under the table, biting the inside of his cheek.
“Good morning,” Changbin greeted Hyunjin with two quick bows of his head. Felix took a seat on the same side of the table as Hyunjin, leaving the seat between them empty.
Hyunjin watched carefully as Changbin stood next to him and placed the cups of coffee down on the table before sipping the one he had carried in his mouth. Changbin noticed Hyunjin staring and shot him a glance, but Hyunjin didn’t react. It really was true that Changbin was seriously handsome. The smell of coffee filled Hyunjin’s nose as Changbin put the coffee down, a warm yet grounded scent that reminded Hyunjin of Changbin himself. Hyunjin was a little jealous of just how admirable Changbin was. Yeah, that emotion he could identify for sure. Hyunjin blinked at Changbin for a few seconds. Then he snapped out of it.
A few seconds later, the director himself, Yang Jeongin, entered the room. He burst open the door and strutted in boldly, stretching his arms out to the sides calmly but confidently. “Ah, morning everyone!” He exclaimed, smiling brightly, which revealed his dimples. Hyunjin found them rather adorable. Not that he would ever say that out loud.
Felix stood up from his seat to greet him, clasping his hands together. “Good morning, director-nim!”
Jeongin flopped into his chair at the head of the table, resting his arms on the chair arms and adjusting his glasses. The director… Hyunjin wasn’t sure what it was, but there was something that stood out to him about Yang Jeongin. Maybe it was his strangely brown, short hair, or the way he acted far more old-fashioned than expected at his age, but either way, Hyunjin always found him intriguing. Maybe it was his cute obliviousness to many things…? He really was lovable. Hyunjin couldn’t help but find him endearing. He had to push those thoughts down. Get rid of them, lest they get in the way. Hyunjin shook his head to bring himself back to the present.
Changbin approached Jeongin with two cups of coffee. “Director-nim! Would you like This Americano or That Cappuccino?”
Jeongin put his hand on his chin in thought before deciding resolutely. “Morning calls for an iced Americano! I’ll take That!” He reached out and took one of the cups from Changbin, swiftly sipping it. “Wait, what? That was a cappuccino..?” Hyunjin stifled a laugh. Jeongin picked the wrong cup?
“Oh, Director-nim…” Changbin playfully whacked his shoulder and giggled. “You’re such a lovable goof~! Have both This & That, Director-nim~”
“Oh, okay, sure, sure!” Jeongin said, accepting the other cup from him as well. “This and That… Now that’s got a nice ring to it!” He remarked with a smile.
Just then, Lee Minho strolled into the room with his hands in his pockets. “Bad morning~” He said calmly.
Ah, he’s here. Hyunjin felt his shoulders relax upon seeing his hyung. But he also wondered… Was Minho worried when he woke up without him there? Minho didn’t look at Hyunjin. If he was worried, he would have texted, so it was probably okay. Still, Hyunjin felt a little awkward for leaving him this morning without warning. Don’t look over here, Hyunjin thought to himself. The idea of Minho’s piercing gaze—mad or not—still made Hyunjin want to bury himself underground and hide there for eternity.
Han Jisung trailed into the office right behind Minho. “He just said ‘Bad morning’~!” Jisung announced, as if the others hadn’t heard Minho. Jisung always had a strange habit of repeating whatever it was Minho said, like he was enamoured by him and whatever he said at all times. Jisung’s lanyard wasn’t on properly—it was twisted and flung over his shoulder for some reason.
Minho reached over and brought Jisung’s ID card to the front, where it should have been before lightly… patting his butt? Hyunjin knew better than to question their behaviour. Jisung brought his hands to his mouth in shock, as if those two were in some romantic scene in a K-drama. Oh, not again… Minho winked at him, smirking slightly, and Jisung winked back. Changbin, who was sitting between Hyunjin and Felix, shook his head and rolled his eyes. Jisung sat opposite to Hyunjin, while Minho sat next to him.
Everybody was used to their constant flirting by now. Literally, everybody. There was no way anyone who worked in this building didn’t know about them. It was getting to the point where Hyunjin wished they did this anywhere but in front of him. Hyunjin questioned if there was something Minho wasn’t telling him about… there probably was. But Hyunjin really, really didn’t want to ask. For an introvert, Jisung was far too energetic and talkative for Hyunjin’s liking (probably because he was more comfortable than Hyunjin was here), and he liked Minho too much for Hyunjin’s liking as well. Hyunjin had no idea what was really going on between them, and he really didn’t want to know. Who casually patted a friend’s behind? Apparently, his brother did. Oh, if Hyunjin didn’t love Minho… he’d be so much more sick of them both.
Lastly, the intern, Bang Chan, entered the room… holding a selfie stick with his phone on it. He was talking to his chat on a stream. Really, Hyunjin wondered if the poor intern had any idea that he shouldn’t walk into the room while live streaming. “Oh! Everyone’s already here…?” Chan realized as he looked away from his phone. To his followers, he said, “Sadly, today’s stream ends here! If you enjoyed Chan’s stream, leave a like, subscribe, and turn on notifications!” He pointed his finger in the air enthusiastically. “Bye!” He waved goodbye before ending the stream and greeted the room, bowing at ninety degrees. He ran over to his chair, kicking his legs higher back than necessary. He sat in the remaining seat, which was on the opposite side of the table from Hyunjin and furthest from the director.
“Typical intern…” Director Jeongin remarked.
“Where’s Manager Seungmin-nim, anyway?” Chan asked once he had sat down. Ah, Hyunjin remembered—Kim Seungmin wasn’t here right now.
“His octopus plushie business took off,” Jisung explained, “So he took leave and went to Hawaii!”
“Can we video call him?” Felix asked.
Right.
This was part of the plan. Hyunjin had nearly forgotten it all because of the nightmare this morning… Kim Seungmin was away, and during the call… that would be Hyunjin’s time to strike. He nervously fiddled with his rings under the desk, stealing a glance at Minho, who was staring at Jisung for some reason.
“But we have a meeting,” Changbin reminded everyone. “Why would we call him?”
Hyunjin swallowed.
“Nah, call him anyway!” Jeongin insisted, shaking a hand in disapproval for Changbin’s remark. “Let’s just see how well he’s doing!”
Hyunjin relaxed slightly. Everything’s still going according to plan.
Chan called Seungmin on his phone, which was still connected to the selfie stick. Seungmin answered the phone almost instantly, waving. He was wearing sun glasses and a tropical shirt with palm trees on it.
“Oh, Manager-nim!” Chan said excitedly. “You’re looking really well!”
“Everyone’s doing well, right?” Seungmin asked.
“Oh! Manager Kim! Hang on a second!” Jeongin suddenly remarked, reaching into his inner suit pocket. He pulled out a blue USB. Hyunjin’s heart spiked. “See this USB?” Jeongin asked, holding it by two fingers as it dangled in the air. “It contains all of our company’s confidential information.”
There it is. The prize. Hyunjin rubbed his hands and folded his fingers, trying not to show his nervousness as he perked up.
“I need a keychain for it, so bring me one that screams Hawaii,” Jeongin requested.
Hyunjin’s gaze locked onto the USB as Jeongin clutched it in his fist, glancing back at it and at Seungmin on the screen a couple times.
“Oh, that’s no problem. Sure. See you soon,” Seungmin said, waving goodbye. Everyone waved back at him as the call ended. Hyunjin stole another glance at the director’s closed fist. That was it. The USB he and Minho had been looking for this whole time, the one with the company’s confidential information—it was essential to the plan. They could never find it… because Jeongin always kept it on him. Their plan actually managed to get him to reveal it. It was now or never. But…
Would Hyunjin actually be able to steal it?