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All the stories he’d read as a child in Jedha were true, Bodhi supposed. Success could be fleeting, even if there wasn’t another cause more deserving in the galaxy.
The cable had been attached, and the signal had finally, been connected. But not without the loss of Chirrut. The image of him, dying in Baze’s arms won’t disappear from Bodhi’s memory anytime soon. He’d never had much faith in the force before. As a poor boy with few prospects, Bodhi had trusted in things like steady jobs and food on the table.
But the signal connected. The plans to the Death Star had been transmitted to someone who was listening. Bodhi hadn’t done much, not like Cassian or Jyn or Chirrut or Baze. But he’d done what he was assigned to do.
He whooped quietly, thanking the force silently. It had to be the force that was aiding him all this. Everything was lining up too perfectly.
But then. Bodhi heard a loud noise; a clang, like something small and compact was hitting the ground. It could’ve been the fighting outside but - Bodhi spun around. The sound was too close.
Time slowed down. There was a beeping grenade on the ground, not far from where he stood. Bodhi’s heart sunk. He was going to die. And he was going to accept that. Bodhi would die, but at least for a while, he lived.
Then he remembered Cassian. Cassian clasping his shoulder, saying “you’re our only way out of here.”
Bodhi had a mission. Time sped up again, and Bodhi lunged toward the grenade. It was so hot that he could feel it burning the palm of his hand, but he wasn't thinking about that. Bodhi swung his arm back, and threw the grenade as far as he could out of the ship.
The grenade exploded before it hit the ground, taking out several stormtroopers with it, in an instant.
Bodhi winced, watching limbs get torn off of bodies, and hearing troopers scream. Part of him thought they deserved it, but the other half of him wondered if they were here like he was. To feed their younger siblings. Or because they didn't know any other life.
Shaking those thoughts out of his head, Bodhi began getting the ship ready to take off. What mattered now was finding the rest of the crew, and getting to deep space before it got any worse.
With the nearby stormtroopers dead, Bodhi cautiously stepped out of the ship with a pair of binoculars, hoping to spy Baze so they could go find Jyn and Cassian. Even with the enhanced goggles, that could identify people miles away, Baze was nowhere in sight. Just stormtrooper after stormtrooper, bearing down on the remaining soldiers.
Bodhi’s heart sunk. He couldn’t save them. Baze was probably gone too. Bodhi couldn’t imagine him leaving Chirrut behind, dead or alive.
So for now, Bodhi swallowed his sadness. He didn’t have time for it now. The door to the ship was closed, and Bodhi hopped into the flight deck and took his seat. He fiddled with the controls, the anxiety that he’d developed since his run in with Saw’s monster overtaking him for a moment. He hadn’t had time for it before, with the grenade. Everything moved too fast.
But now, he had time. Time to consider and remember the dangers, time to mourn. Time to remember that he was small. But Bodhi remembered the mission. He put Rogue One in flight, and took off, toward the date files on Scarif where Cassian and Jyn had been headed.
The stormtroopers noticed the ship quickly, and began using their blasters on it. It was a stolen Imperial aircraft though, and could stand a few hits, so Bodhi didn’t worry too much.
He didn’t worry until the shooting stopped completely. Bodhi looked around in confusion, until he felt it. The Death Star. The shock wave was building, not as heavily as it had been on Jedha, but Bodhi could feel it in his bones.
Panic began to set in. He hadn’t found Jyn and Cassian yet. Death was licking at his boots once again, and Bodhi knew that he could go, he could fly out of Scarif right now. But where would he go? There was no Jedha, he sure as hell wasn’t rejoining the Empire. And Bodhi knew he couldn’t face the rebels without bringing any of the crew back home.
Because he didn't really count did he? Bodhi could see the way the other rebels looked at him, like he was a spy for the Empire. That’s why Saw had tortured him in the first place. His connection to the Empire marred his name.
So he could die. He could let the blast take him, and let his life be over and done. That sounded nice, peaceful even. But the thing was, Bodhi didn’t want to die. Now that he’d tasted death, he wanted to live, or die trying.
Bodhi turned the ship in the direction of the beach, to try to locate his friends one last time. He covered the whole space, once then twice, the shockwave getting closer and closer. Bodhi was nearly ready to give up, when he spotted two figures, close to the water.
His heart lifted, and hope clouded Bodhi’s every thought. He flew down toward the figures, and they stood up, waving their hands in the air. Bodhi didn’t have to be near them to sense the hope in their eyes. It was them, Jyn and Cassian.
Bodhi opened up the hangar, and yelled for them to hurry up. He could feel the whole death thing coming closer.
Jyn and Cassian were in the cockpit in an instant, and Bodhi could finally breathe right again.
“You did it,” Cassian said, awe coloring his words. “You saved us.”
Bodhi shrugged, the praise foreign to him. “I just followed orders.”
“I could kiss you,” Cassian says, and Bodhi feels his cheeks color.
“I will,” Jyn says, and before Bodhi can protest, Jyn’s leaning over. Bodhi tilts his head at the last minute, so Jyn’s lips only catch the side of his mouth. Still, Bodhi can’t meet her eyes.
“Uh,” he says finally, once he’s coherent. “We need to fly us out of here.” Bodhi goes to get up, to give Cassian his seat as first in command.
“What are you doing?” Cassian asks curiously.
Bodhi doesn’t understand. “Giving you your seat. You’re captain.”
Jyn chuckles, and Cassian glares. “Are you kidding me? Rogue One is your ship, Bodhi. Now get us the hell out of here.”
So he does. Bodhi is good at following orders. They’re in deep space soon enough, and finally, everyone can relax.
“Don’t you want to go get some rest Jyn? We’ve got it from here.” Bodhi says after a while. He doubts his companions are ready to talk about the mission, and those they’ve lost. Bodhi sure isn’t. But Jyn has been sitting on the floor of the cockpit for some time, her head against the seat Bodhi sits in.
“No,” Jyn says, her voice smaller than earlier. “I … I don’t want to be alone.”
Me neither, Bodhi thinks but the words won’t come out. Bodhi notices Cassian’s gaze then, an unreadable expression on his face. But then he smiles, a expression Bodhi hasn’t seen on the captain's face before. Bodhi tries his best to smile back, and they fly in comfortable silence.
*
No one at the rebel base was expecting Rogue One to return.
When the ship landed, all the pilots and rebel soldiers and strategists that were gathered turned to watch the ship land. They’re wasn’t much emotion at first, at least no emotion that Bodhi could discern as he landed the ship.
A pit of fear began to build in Bodhi’s stomach. All those people - and their expectations. They were going to expect something that Bodhi couldn’t give them. Next to him, Cassian stood, waking a dozing Jyn with just a tap to her shoulder. She stood and stretched, and begun to follow Cassian off the ship, when she noticed Bodhi, unmoving.
“You alright, Bodhi?” she asks. Cassian turns when he hears her question, stopping to lean against the still closed hangar door.
Bodhi struggles, but he meets Jyn’s eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just...I wonder what they’ll think of me.”
“They’ll know that you transmitted the Death Star plans,” Jyn says. “They’ll know that without you, we never would’ve succeeded.”
“You saved our lives Bodhi. We thought for sure that we were dead,” Cassian says, his accent a little thicker. “We never expected to live, but you were there. Thank you.”
“You ready? We’ll make sure no one gets too close, if you want.” Jyn puts her hand out.
Bodhi takes it. “No, I’m fine. I don’t need all that.” He takes a deep breath. “I’m just being silly. I’m ready.”
“Not to us,” Cassian says, before opening the door to the aircraft.
Bodhi, Jyn and Cassian step out, side by side. The cheering begins.
*
The reaction of the rebels was far from what Bodhi was expecting.
“You were so brave,” a soldier said to him. “Than you.”
“Your strength may have saved the whole galaxy,” said a pilot more decorated than Bodhi could’ve ever imagined.
The praise was a bit overwhelming, but it still made Bodhi feel...proud. Something he hadn't felt in a long time, if ever. But kind words from Cassian and Jyn were his favorites.
Maybe it was because they’d lived it too, because they’d lived worse and come out strong. Perhaps it was his respect for them, which grew daily. But part of him believed it was because Cassian and Jyn had quickly become the closest friends Bodhi had ever had.
All three of them had lost everything. Jyn too sometimes felt like an outsider around the rebel base, and whenever he was feeling down Bodhi could escape for a quick flight with Cassian to get his spirits up. Jyn shared his hatred for the hard beds the rebels were assigned, the only beds Cassian had ever really known. Cassian hated the way they’d sometimes disappear for hours, not used to having people concerned for their wellbeing.
They’re there for each other when they have to tell Mon Mothma their story, though Cassian insists that the little smile she tries to keep hidden means there was nothing to worry about.
Jyn and Cassian are by his side when Mon Mothma places medals around their necks as a testament to their success.
“Because of your bravery, we are now closer to defeating the Imperial Army than ever before,” Mon Mothma says. This time, Bodhi can see her smile, and it’s aimed at him.
So Bodhi takes his seat, beside Cassian and Jyn, to remember and reflect on those they’ve lost. Jyn rests her head on his shoulder, and Cassian glances at him with a grin warm enough to bring light to the entire galaxy.
Jedha might be gone, but this - the Rebellion, Jyn and Cassian. This was home now. Bodhi smiles back.