Chapter Text
Josh gripped his head, wrinkling his brow against the bright sun shining right on his face.
“Ow… what the fuck?” He whispered. Opening his eyes didn’t help him at all.
He was supposed to be in an antique shop, drinking a milkshake with Ethan and Ryan. Ryan was looking for some kind of gift for Mateo and their nine-year anniversary, and they were just tagging along. Mostly because Ethan and Mateo were pretty close, and Ethan was better at gifts and stuff like that.
And then they’d all walked into the back room, and Ryan had touched that weird old globe, and then…
Then what?
He looked around him, taking in the waves of grass under a huge, blue sky. He could smell the fresh air that he could get when he went way out into the country. This wasn’t Midland, he was pretty sure.
“Ethan?” He called, turning and looking for his best friend since middle school. He didn’t see the redhead anywhere, which freaked him out. Josh and Ethan rarely went anywhere without each other. “Ryan?”
He couldn’t see Ryan either.
He’d only made friends with the local cop about a year ago, after they’d found themselves dealing with him after a theft at the contracting business that Josh and Ethan worked at. He never thought he’d be friends with a cop, but… while Ryan could be kind of an ass, he was also pretty cool, deep down.
Sometimes REALLY deep down.
Ethan and Mateo, Ryan’s boyfriend, really got along, which meant that Josh and Ryan had learned to be civil together. And eventually… they’d gotten on good enough terms to actually spend time together outside of work.
Except… now… where was he?
Josh stood, his head aching, and looked down. His heart caught.
“What the—” He said, pulling at his shirt.
This wasn’t what he’d been wearing! He wore what he always did, his trusty Carhartt jacket and sturdy jeans, with his heavy work boots. But now he was dressed like someone at the local Renaissance fair! He had a flowy white shirt tucked into brown pants. Even his boots were different. They were lighter, and simpler.
Around his waist, he had a sword in a scabbard.
“Jesus, no way.” He whispered, drawing the long, silver weapon. He gave it a few test swings, amazed at how natural it felt in his fingers.
He couldn’t fight a smile, and held his arm up, grinning as he slashed at the air. He tucked the thing away, carefully buckling the strap around the guard.
“Okay, so I’m dreaming.” He said, shaking his head. He looked around him. Well, at least his mind had decided to conjure up something beautiful. He inhaled deeply, and took a few steps over to the next hill, determined to enjoy his time here as long as he could.
--
Ryan opened his eyes, immediately sitting up. He looked around himself, shivering the dark coldness. He could feel wood underneath him, but his eyes wouldn’t adjust to the dim lighting around him.
“Hello?” He said harshly. His voice echoed in the tight interior. “Hello?”
“Hee hee, shush and hush! Mustn't wake the owl!” A gravelly voice giggled from near him. Ryan leapt up, reaching for his gun, only to find—
His gun was gone. He looked down.
Holy shit, everything was gone. His uniform, his gun, his baton, his tazer… Wait. Hold on, he wasn’t working. He was supposed to be looking for an anniversary gift for Mateo!
Still, this wasn’t what he was wearing, either! He was pretty sure he’d remember putting on pants made out a literal burlap sack. His shirt hung limply on his body. Jesus, Mateo would throw a fit if he saw Ryan wearing rags like this.
“Ew, what the fuck?” He murmured.
“Ahh, dirty, filthy!” Someone rasped in a sing-song voice. Ryan squinted in the direction of the voice. “Nothing draws the eye of the hunter like the squeak of the vole!” The man giggled, a disgusting, gurgly sound. “Or the housekeeper like the paws of the mouse.”
Finally, his eyes began to focus. He saw a man sitting on a bench like the one he’d been sitting on his head hunched over, his head nothing but a tangle of white and gray.
“No need for soap without dirt. No need to scrub without filth!”
“Who are you?” Ryan asked. The man turned to look at him, and he reared back. The other man was saggy and lined, his face arranged in a sneer. “Where am I?”
“A cage for the caught, a hole for the mole, a trap for the trivialized…” The man croaked.
“You’re in the royal dungeons.” A tall, well-dressed man said, materialized from the darkness. Ryan jumped back. A solider. An honest-to-god soldier.
“Royal… dungeons?” Ryan repeated in disbelief. He finally looked around, his heart catching. There were bars between him and the man in the other cell. A door full of huge iron bars cut him off from the hallway were torches flickered and soldiers patrolled.
“Where Her Majesty the Luminous Moon imprisons the worst of the worst. The rats, the filth. The insurgents.” The soldier said, slamming his sword into the bars, making Ryan leap backwards, his heart racing. His blue eyes widened.
“W-what did I do?” He demanded. “You can’t keep me here without a list of charges! Where’s my phone call? I want to talk to my lawyer, this is unconstitutional!” He said, the blood rising to his face.
The solider smirked with the man in the other cell cackled.
“Well, it should be clear. Sickness of the mind.” The soldier said. Ryan sniffed, seething.
“Sickness of the—fuck off!” Ryan shouted. “I’m not sick!”
“Either that or some kind of raving wizard.” The solider said. “The things you speak of mean nothing. But the Queen has decided to keep you here, so there is no more to be said.”
“Squeak, squeak!” The old cellmate rasped, drawing a glare from the soldier. The man only laughed.
“Let me out of here!” Ryan said, slamming into the bars. The soldier shoved the butt of his sword through the bars and into Ryan’s stomach, making him cough.
“You’re not getting out of here until the date of your execution.” He said through his teeth. Ryan’s face went cold while the man in the cell next him began to screech with laughter.
“Execution?” He whispered.
“One fortnight from today, the Queen will have your head.” The solider said, turning away.
“W-wait! What about Mateo? What about my… my job? Josh! Ethan!” Ryan called through the bars.
The solider didn’t turn around. And the old man kept laughing and laughing.
“Walk into my parlor, said the spider to the fly…” He rasped, showing his gapped, blackened smile. “Come over to my house, said the kitten to the mouse!”
“Shut up!” Ryan shouted. “Shut… shut up!”
--
Ethan opened his eyes, and immediately blinked in confusion. He was in some kind of forest… except not surrounded by trees he’d ever seen. None of them had branches. And… they were really thin.
“Josh?” He called, looking around. He caught something out of the corner of his eye, and spun around. The trees around him rustled. “Ryan?”
He could feel something on his back that wasn’t supposed to be there.
“Ugh, ew.” He said, looking down at his clothes. Green shirt, green pants, green boots. Sure, he liked green. It was Josh’s favorite color. But… not for an entire outfit. And whatever these boots were made out of, he was pretty sure they wouldn’t last two days on a worksite.
He turned again, then reached for the backpack on his back. But instead of thick nylon, his fingers gripped something thinner, like… paper. And then they moved.
“Woah!” He said, letting them go. His heart began to pound. He reached back with shaking hands, and tried to pull them off.
But… whatever it was had been stuck to his back. He yanked harder, only to draw a cry from his own lips.
Then, instead of trying to pull them off, he just tried to pull it into his line of sight.
“H-holy shit…” He whispered. They looked like… wings. Light blue dragonfly wings. He let go, and… with a terrified tense of some new muscles, felt them buzz to life behind him.
He laughed, shaking his head. Alright, so he was dreaming! He let the wings on his back buzz to life, and found himself leaping up into the air, wind streaming through his red curls.
But once he broke the tree line and began to look around, he was struck with a second, extremely obvious fact.
He was tiny. Like... freaking FINGER tiny! Tiny like a goddamn insect, tiny. Tiny like... fucking... whatever!
Dammit, he must have been some kind of fairy! He managed to fly himself a little way back and forth, before landing next to a little stream. Jesus Christ, those weird green trees were just… grass. He put his face in his hands, then startled. What if… what if his face was different too?
He checked his reflection in the water.
Okay, so he was still himself, but… if that bullfrog sitting in the middle of the water was any indication, he was only about four inches tall. He scoffed, looking at the frog and folding his arms.
“I don’t suppose YOU know what the hell is happening.” He said, rolling his eyes. The frog only let out a low ribbit.
Ethan pinched his arm, willing himself to wake up, but… even after that, he remained at the same miniature size, and in this weird outdoor location. So, what was he supposed to do? He wasn’t just here for no reason, was he?
“Josh?” He called again. He grinned, trying to picture his best friend at this size, with a pair of matching wings. He just couldn’t picture his tall, steady, down-to-earth friend with fairy wings. Maybe moth wings.
The idea of 6’3” Josh looking UP at anything was a hilarious image, too.
The image made him laugh. But then he sobered. He really did want to find him. He didn’t like the idea of being out here all alone, with nobody to talk to. What if a wolf came by? Or a fox? Or even something smaller.
He eyed the bullfrog nervously.
Didn’t frogs eat bugs?
“Well, it’s been nice talking to you, Frogger, but… I’m out.” Ethan said, taking off into the air. He flew in a tight circle, trying to orient himself. Then…
There, over the next hill.
“Josh!” Ethan called, cupping his hands around his mouth. He knew as soon as he’d said it that there was no way Josh would be able to hear him. Josh was still his old human size, walking away from him. “JOSH!” He tried again. He sighed. Josh was already kind of a clod on a good day, did Ethan really think he was going to be any more aware now that his best friend was finger-food?
Ethan sighed, then turned and began to fly closer.
--
Josh was so caught up in the grandeur of the gorgeous plains that he didn’t hear anything at all. He was enjoying himself, he couldn’t lie.
Sure, he lived in the city, but he’d always wished he could move out to the country. He’d always dreamed of a little cabin with a woodstove and a bunch of canned food. Baked beans and bacon and homemade bread.
He sighed, looking around him. This wasn’t anywhere he was familiar with, but at least it didn’t smell like motor oil and marijuana, like the trailer park he lived in.
Over the crest of the next hill, he gasped when he saw the castle nestled in the valley.
“Oh, wow.” He whispered, the wind rustling through his thick brown hair. He shook his head. “I’m really far from home, huh?” He said.
“Josh!” He heard, close to his ear. He turned, his eyes wide, but… he didn’t see anyone near him.
“Hello?” He said, putting his hand on the hilt of his new sword. Who would know his name here? Maybe if he was in someone else’s clothes, and holding their sword… were there other people that knew him too?
But wait, they’d said Josh.
That was HIM, right? Not some random guy from this new world.
“Josh, come on, sit still!” The voice called again. Josh’s brow wrinkled, and he tried to keep still.
“Who’s there?” He asked. He heard a quiet scoff.
“Damn, rude.” He heard. “Don’t even recognize your best friend. I’m gonna remember that next time you need MY help.”
“Ethan?” Josh said, brightening. He’d been having fun enjoying the view and the quiet walk, but it would be nice to talk to his best friend for a while. He turned in a full circle. He sounded so close, but… he couldn’t see him anywhere. “W-where are you?”
“Jesus, sit STILL!” Ethan snapped, and suddenly, Josh was frozen, every muscle locked in place.
“Uh--?” He forced through his stiff lips, his eyes flicking around as fast as they could. “Ee—an?”
“Oh wow, holy shit!” Ethan said, and suddenly, Josh’s eyes were crossed as Ethan, his best friend of an entire decade, flitted into view. He blinked, trying to get his eyes to focus on his friend.
His TINY friend!
Ethan hovered in front of him, examining his fingers. He tapped Josh’s nose, shaking his head.
“Oh, shit! Okay, I had NO idea I could do that. That’s helpful to know, I guess.”
“Uhh!!” Josh grumbled, trying to express at least one of the million thoughts flowing through his head right now.
How are you so small? Are you flying? Why am I frozen solid? Did you do this? Can you un-freeze me?
“Hmm… undo, undo…” Ethan said, flying out of Josh’s line of sight. Josh could feel something small brushing through his hair. “Aww, come on, Josh! Don’t you EVER shower?”
“EE—AN!” Josh tried again, straining against whatever force was holding him captive.
“Hold on!” Ethan shouted back. Then Josh felt something warm spread through him, and his body was his again. He gasped in a breath, doubling over.
“Holy SHIT!” Josh said, forcing himself back up. “Ethan? Is that you? Where are you? How’d you do that?”
Ethan flushed.
“I… I don’t know…” he mumbled.
Josh suddenly felt a little nervous about moving too fast. Ethan buzzed into his view, near his face. He brushed his tiny hand through his hair.
“S-sorry about that.” He said, smiling nervously. “Uh, it just kind of… happened. When you came really close.”
“It’s… it’s okay.” Josh said, reaching his hands up. He put them together, cupping them gently. Ethan dipped down, gingerly landing in his friend’s palms. “Woah.”
“Yeah, seriously.” Ethan said, shivering. “Your heart is so loud.”
Josh couldn’t even think of a response. Ethan was really just so small. And… breakable. His entire friend fit in his palms, for fuck’s sake!
“What happened to you?” He asked. Ethan shrugged.
“No idea. I woke up like this. After… shit, Ryan touched that stupid globe, didn’t he?” He let his wings buzz delicately. “HE should have been the one to wake up itty-bitty.”
“Oh… yeah, you haven’t seen Ryan, have you? He’s not… like you?” Josh asked. Ethan shook his head.
“Nope. I’ve only seen you so far.” Ethan patted Josh’s thumb, and Josh fought a shiver. It was so light and delicate. Ethan felt it anyway, jostling a little in his hands. “Oh, woah, easy there, Bessie!”
“S-sorry.” Josh said, trying to keep his hands still.
Ethan flew up and out of his hands, hovering near his face.
“So… you can just fly?” Josh asked, reaching up for him. Ethan watched Josh’s hands approach, darting away.
“Uh, yeah.” He said, and Josh stopped, realizing what he was doing. Fuck, what HAD he been doing? For some reason, his fingers tingled with the idea of Ethan between them. Had he really just been about to snatch him out of the air?
“Oh! Shit, sorry, no, I wasn’t… I wasn’t trying to grab you. Fuck. S-sorry.” Josh said, lowering his hands to shove them in his pockets. Ethan smirked.
“Yeah, sure. Well, you know who REALLY has the power here, right?” He said, wiggling his fingers. Josh sighed.
“Right, but don’t do that again, okay? It feels SUPER weird.” He said, shivering. Ethan grinned.
“No promises! Hey, it’s a handy spell if you ever decide to turn on me.”
Josh scoffed.
“Ethan!” He said, rolling his eyes. “I’d never ‘turn on you’!”
“Fine, fine...” Ethan said, circling his head, then landing on Josh’s shoulder. “But let me tell you, you look a lot scarier from down here.”
Josh paused.
“Really?”
“Uh, yeah! You’re like… a hundred feet tall. I mean, I know it’s you, but it’s really hard to remember when I see your hands.”
“O-oh.” Josh said, feeling a little guilty. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and looked down on them. What WOULD they look like to someone four inches tall?
“Anyway. Is that a freakin’ sword?” Ethan asked. Josh felt the warm weight of him leave his shoulder. He watched Ethan fly down to hover near where the long weapon he’d woken up with was hanging. He flushed.
Uh, yeah.” He said. Ethan looked up, grinning.
“Nice.”
Josh shrugged, but he kept the smile on his face.
“Not as cool as waking up with literal magic, but…”
“Well, at least you woke up in the right size category.” Ethan said back. Josh shrugged.
“Hey, it’s not like I had a choice.” He said,
“Okay, well… we gotta find Ryan.” Ethan said, flying up near Josh’s face. “If he’s not with either of us, I mean, he’s gotta be somewhere, right?”
“Fine. Let’s, uh… well, I was heading there.” Josh said, pointing at the castle in the distance. “I figured it’s as good a place as any to start asking around. Maybe someone’s seen him.”
“Right. We’ll start asking if anyone’s seen an angry, hair-trigger, foul-mouthed cop.” Ethan said. “He’s gotta be the only one. But… what the hell is a castle doing out here? I thought those were only in movies.”
“Ethan… castles are real.” Josh said. “Like, in Britain and stuff.”
“I – I knew that!” Ethan scoffed, his cheeks red.
“Okay! I just meant—”
“Well, I meant like… who lives there? Is there like a king or something? You know, what if we get arrested?”
“Wouldn’t be the first time.” Josh said, and Ethan rolled his eyes.
“Okay, well… NOT the goal, okay? Let’s find Ryan and avoid jail. And YOU don’t squish me.”
“Well… I won’t … come on.” Josh said, taking a step, going red. Ethan watched, wide-eyed, as Josh’s steps moved him away faster than Ethan could even blink!
“Hey, wait up, big guy!” He shouted, flitting off behind him. Josh paused, then turned, watching his friend fly to keep up with his normal, human stride. He flushed. He’s always been taller than Ethan, but he’d never had THIS much trouble keeping up.
“Oh… sorry!” Josh said, as Ethan circled his head. “I mean, I… sorry.”
“Quit apologizing, tall-boy.” Ethan grinned. “Here, mind if I hitch a ride?”
He settled himself on Josh’s shoulder, hooking his legs over the front. He gripped his hands into Josh’s shirt, then kicked him in the collarbone.
“Heeyah! Giddyap, horsie!” Ethan said, and Josh laughed.
“Wow, little freeloader. I should make you pay for all that added weight.”
“Added – hey, screw you!” Ethan shouted, slapping Josh’s neck. “I JUST lost about… oh, give or take 180 pounds!”
“Okay, okay, fair.” Josh said, taking another step forward.
“Woah, woah…” Ethan said, wobbling on his perch with Josh’s gigantic steps.
“You okay, little guy?” Josh asked. Ethan huffed, flicking out his wings to stabilize himself.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” He scoffed. “I’m just not used to such a rough ride.”
“Rough ride, he says.” Josh joked, trying to walk more steadily. “The way I walked never bothered you before.”
“Well, I wasn’t riding on your shoulder BEFORE.” Ethan said, slowly adjusting to Josh’s gait.
“Okay, quit whining. Let’s go find Ryan.”