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Jason could feel his adrenaline still pumping through him. He’d done it! He’d jumped the trains! It was excitement from having completed the ritual. It was the relief that he’d proven himself. He was older now, officially. He turned to William, his best friend, ready to share in their glory together. His smile faded. William wasn’t on this side of the tracks.
William hadn’t done it?
He was still on the other side. Jason was alone on the side facing the sun, feeling the warmth of the sunrise on his face.
Jason felt a stab of guilt even as he let out a whoop, emotion bursting out of him. Then the train was gone, and the two weren’t separated anymore. Well, except they were.
Because Jason had jumped the trains. And William hadn’t.
And just like that the excitement poured over him again.
Jason had jumped the trains! His guilt was overwritten with the unabashed joy he felt. The crash of relief and excitement and accomplishment. He’d done it!
“What happened?” He asked, jogging over the tracks, stretching his aching, muscular legs. William shrugged, but he wouldn’t meet Jason’s eyes.
“I missed the first ladder because I was watching you.” He said, trying to be casual. But Jason could hear the bitterness in his voice. “My hand slipped the second time. I, uh, fell.” He motioned to the gashes on his forehead.
Jason swallowed. He felt guilty for succeeding where his friend had failed. They’d always been friends, as long as he could remember. But now… William just didn’t look the same. He looked… smaller. Younger.
“It’s okay. You can try again next week.” Jason said, clapping him on the shoulder. William staggered under his touch and wouldn’t look at him.
They were silent for a moment, thinking about what had just happened. Jason couldn’t keep the triumphant smile off his face. He’d done it – he’d really done it! No longer would his dad make fun of him for still being a kid. Everyone at school would know that Jason Hardy wasn’t a stupid little kid anymore. He was a man.
“You were great.” William choked out, and Jason bounced on the balls of his feet, excited all over again.
“The top was the worst part. I thought there’d be something to hang to up there, but there wasn’t! Just me, and the roof of the boxcar.” He said, closing his eyes. It had been terrifying. His heart had pounded so hard he’d thought it would burst out of his chest. But now, with his feet on solid ground, he only remembered the way the world had looked from up so high. He’d felt like the biggest man alive.
“Hey, I’m going to the bike store to exchange those panniers. Wanna come?” He asked, nudging William, who still stood there, looking shorter and more frail than he’d ever remembered.
His friend took a step back, looking up at Jason. When had William become so short?
“I… can’t.” William said, looking up at Jason. He had a strange look on his face, like he was considering something. “I have something to do at home.” He tilted his head appraisingly. “Hey, can you come by, afterward?” He asked. His voice was casual, but there was something else in his voice. It was almost like his disappointment had disappeared. He knew William was a pretty resilient kid, but… it was almost like he’d just flipped a switch.
“I… I don’t think so. Dad’s meeting me. He wants us to try and beat our record up Snake mountain.” Jason said, a little more nervously than he meant to. “I gotta train for the Nova Scotia trip, you know? Can’t get sloppy.”
“But… I’ve got something really… special to show you.” William said, and Jason felt his heart race. What did that mean? “It won’t take long. It’s that thing Mrs. Phillips gave me for my birthday. It does something special, and… I want to show you how it works.”
There was something about his expression. He didn’t look like the same, disappointed kid that had failed to jump the trains. He looked excited, like he knew something Jason didn’t.
“Whaddya mean, something special? It’s just a little button.” Jason scoffed. He’d jumped the trains, after all. William probably just wanted to show him his coin collection again or something. He’d seen the little thing, nestled in a white box. William hadn’t even let him touch it.
Jason didn’t really want to spend the afternoon in William’s house, he wanted to tell his father the good news and brag about his accomplishments. He wanted to work on his mile time so he could get ready for the Nova Scotia trip. He wanted to lift weights or something, anything but just lounging around pretending everything was the same.
“Just… promise me you’ll come, okay?” William begged, his voice becoming desperate. Jason narrowed his eyes. What was so special about that coin? And why did it matter if Jason saw it? “Just this once, then I’ll leave you alone. Promise.”
He sighed. Might as well entertain the kid, at least for today. Maybe after this, William would finally understand that they were growing apart, becoming different. Maybe he’d stop clinging so hard to him all the time. Maybe he’d just jump the stupid trains by himself and it wouldn’t all feel so weird.
“Okay, sure. Can’t stay long, though, dad’s expecting me home by noon.” He said. William was still looking straight into his eyes, like he’d just decided something.
“Sure, sure. Whatever you say.” William muttered. Jason blinked, but ignored him.
“I’ll be over there as soon as I finish. See you later.” He said, turning around to ride his bike away.
--
Jason looked around the attic, his arms folded. He’d been up here before, loads of times. He’d even played with the massive model castle back when William had gotten it as a present from his old housekeeper, Mrs. Phillips. The two of them used to really get into it. He still remembered bringing over one of his own tin figures to play with. But that was a long time ago, now. They hadn’t come up here in a long time, and Jason hade even forgotten it was up here.
William looked like he’d come alive again, a totally different version of himself from the one at the train tracks. He was grinning, bouncing on the balls of his feet, like he really had something cool. Jason was a little put off, but he was a little excited, too.
Just because he was a man now didn’t mean that he didn’t want to know what William had that was so interesting.
“Okay, you have to stand inside the castle, then you’ll see it.” William said, patting his pocket excitedly. Jason rolled his eyes.
“Seriously? My feet will barely fit in the courtyard!” He complained, fidgeting with his bike shorts. He’d biked here, of course. He needed to build his stamina. When he came home and told his dad that not only had he jumped the trains, he’d also beat his mile time… he couldn’t wait to see the proud smile on his face.
He looked down at the miniature castle, looking at the tiny details. The thing was cool, he had to admit, but he was a little old to be playing with toys. That and he didn’t want to break anything.
“Come on, I promise, it’ll just be a second.” William said, following Jason’s eyes down to the castle. “It’s really cool. You’ve never seen anything like it, promise.”
Jason sighed, stretching his arms before shrugging.
“I mean, whatever you say.” He kicked off his biking shoes, leaving him in his long black socks before stepping as carefully as he could into the castle’s courtyard. He had to squinch his feet together to fit, and he couldn’t move anywhere, but William had promised it would only take a second. “Alright, I ‘m here, now what was so special I had to miss training with my dad?”
William pulled a small, white box out of his pocket, about the size of a pack of cards. Inside was a bed of cotton, with a tiny round token in the center, about the size of a shirt button. Jason squinted, reaching out to grab the thing so he could take a closer look, but William pulled it back.
“Hey, no fair!” Jason groused, shifting on his feet. He moved to step out of the castle, but William stopped him.
“Hold on, let me show you.” William said, and for a second, he smiled so gleefully that Jason blinked. But then the smile was gone, replaced with a strange calm. Casually, William plucked the button from its home, pinched it in his fingers, and aimed them straight at Jason. “Janus.” Wiliam whispered.
It felt like a sudden gust of summer air, warm and gentle. Jason felt something ruffle his hair, and he blinked.
And everything was different. No. He was different.
The castle wasn’t around his feet anymore – it rose above him, the walls towering over his head. If he craned his neck and looked up, he could still see the attic ceiling far away, the lightbulbs like faraway suns. He swallowed. It was almost like he’d opened his eyes and been transported somewhere completely different.
Something massive shifted, a scraping noise cracked the air and the ground trembled beneath his feet, and he fell backwards, unable to stay standing. It felt like an earthquake. A shadow slid over him, eclipsing the distant attic lights. His breath caught as he looked up. And up.
William’s face, far above him, like a giant from those stupid fairytales his little sister like to read. Taller than a skyscraper, looking down at him with a gleeful, satisfied smile. Jason’s heart raced as he sat there dumbly, trying to process what had just happened. His brain just refused to process that William could be so huge.
One minute he’d been standing the attic, the next… was he still in the attic?
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, first, Jason.” William said, and Jason felt his throat close up at the sound. It was like thunder overhead, booming and echoing through him. Jason shivered, pushing himself back to a sit so he could stare up into his friend’s face. “What do you think?”
Jason opened his mouth, but he couldn’t push anything out but a quiet rush of air. No matter how much he tried to tell himself that what was happening was real, his brain refused to give him anything else to do or say.
Then William was falling, and Jason felt a sudden spike of fear, his body buzzing with energy and adrenaline. No, he wasn’t falling. He was kneeling down. Jason felt a rush of air blow past him as the air was displaced. His heart pounded in his chest.
“Are you okay? Did it hurt you?” William asked, his hazel eyes wide and worried. Jason shook his head, the most he could get from his body at the moment. No, as strange as he felt, he wasn’t in pain. William sighed, smiling. “Good. I’d feel really bad if it hurt.”
Jason watched, his eyes widening, as something massive came toward him, faster than his brain could even handle. William’s hand.
He tried to push himself up, to scramble away, but William was so much faster than him he barely got to his feet before his friend’s giant fingers scooped behind him, cupping him gently.
His hand was warm, pulsing with a soft heartbeat that pulsed slightly faster than normal. The skin was soft and leathery, and Jason felt himself recoil. But then they were moving, flying through the air like a carnival ride. Jason opened his mouth to cry out, but he only got another panicked gasp of air.
The wind from his journey into the air ruffled his dark curls. William’s face grew in his frame of vision, and he felt himself shrink back involuntarily. Further into the fingers that formed a living wall behind him.
“W-what did you do?” Jason asked, his voice so quiet compared to how it usually filled the room. William’s brow wrinkled.
“What? I can’t hear you.” He said, and his breath surrounded Jason like a humid breeze, making him blink. His jaw clenched and he cupped his own hands around his mouth like a megaphone.
“What – did – you – do?” He shouted again, enunciating his words for the benefit of the giant holding him.
“Oh. I mean, I shrank you.” William said, like it was the most natural thing in the world. “That’s what the coin does. It shrinks living things, and then brings them back. Mrs. Phillips gave it to me.”
Jason shook his head, shocked.
“Why?” He shouted, and watched William’s face twist uncomfortably.
“Well, I… I can’t tell you. Not yet.” William said, and Jason felt his face grow red.
“Then change me back!” He said, frustrated. He didn’t like being this small. When they were the same size, Jason could win a wrestling match with William easy. He was pretty strong from biking so much, and playing basketball. William was tough, too, but he was wiry from gymnastics. Jason still had a few inches on him.
Now, though… Now William wouldn’t need more than a finger to win a wrestling match with Jason.
William gave him one more look, so patronizing it made Jason’s stomach hurt. He shook his head apologetically.
“N-no. Not yet.” He murmured, as if he were embarrassed. “You can stay in the castle. I’ll give you food and stuff.”
For a moment, Jason only sat there, feeling as William’s pulse increased underneath his body. He wanted to speak – he wanted to say something, but his brain wasn’t catching up.
There was a knock at the door, and William jumped, sending Jason sprawling across his palm. He covered Jason up with his other hand.
“D-dad.” William said, his voice choked. “What are you doing home from work so early?”
Mr. Lawrence cleared his throat, and Jason could hear him step closer, the floor shaking under his heavy footfalls.
“I had to visit a worksite near your gym, so I thought I’d drop by to see your practice, but they said you went home sick.” His voice was growing louder, pounding into Jason’s ears like a drum.
“Oh, uh, yeah. I wasn’t feeling good, so I came home early. I… missed Mrs. Phillips and thought I’d come up to see the castle.” Jason hear William say. He thought about calling out. Would William’s father help him? Or would he call the police? Or worse… Jason’s father?
The idea of anyone seeing him like this was mortifying. But the idea of his father, looming and looking down on him made him wish he was even smaller, so that he couldn’t even be seen. What would his dad say? No Nova Scotia trip, that’s for sure. Jason was pretty sure his dad wouldn’t even bother packing Jason to go with him like this.
His father wouldn’t be impressed that he’d jumped the trains and beat his mile time if he was only the size of a finger, now!
“Whatcha got there, bud?” Mr. Lawrence said, and William flinched. Jason peeked through the small space between William’s fingers.
“Uh, just a new figure for the castle.”
“Really? Let me see.” William’s father said, and William sighed, opening his hand. Jason went completely still, eyes wide open, trying to keep his breathing to a minimum.
Mr. Lawrence blinked down at him.
“Oh, well, he doesn’t look like a knight.” Mr. Lawrence said, smiling, reaching out. Jason felt something in his gut. He felt so exposed, two giants regarding him. “He looks like a little… biking doll.” Jason could only watch, paralyzed, as the man’s fingers approached.
But William pulled him away.
“Y-yeah, he’s a new one. But he’s just the right size, so I figured he’d… you know. He’d work.”
William’s father stood tall, smiling at his son.
“I think it’s wonderful you’re still up here with this old castle. Mrs. Phillips would be proud.”
Proud? Jason thought, his thoughts crystalized in soft, pink fog. Would she still be proud if she knew he’d shrunk his best friend and planned to keep him in the castle?
“Why don’t you put it away. I’ll take you to lunch.” Mr. Lawrence said, and William swallowed.
William turned to the castle and lowered Jason down, tipping him into a small room. Jason let out a quiet yelp, scrambling back to his feet and looking up while William stood up.
Without turning back or saying anything, William left the room with his father, leaving Jason, tiny and trapped, in this room of the castle.
Jason dashed to the side of the castle, pounding on the walls. His body and brain were catching up, finally, too late. His face was hot, and his eyes began to sting.
“No, wait! L-let me out!” He shouted to the empty attic. “Don’t leave me here! I… let me out!” His begging sounded pathetic, even to him.
His face burned, and his eyes stung. Biking doll? A figure for the castle? He was a person! A boy who’d jumped the trains, not… not a toy!
He looked around, his chest heaving, and startled. His heart raced as he look around the room full of… people!
For a moment, he thought he wasn’t alone, but no. The room was filled with other figures his size. All of them cast in tin, their faces painted on. He was surrounded by toys.
There was a silver knight, a ballerina with her arms up over her head. There was a little firefighter and a nurse in a white dress.
He even recognized the cowboy in the corner, the one he’d brought from his own house. The tin figure now stood taller than he did.
They all regarded impassively him with their still, expressionless faces. They met his panic with indifference.
And there was Jason, a living person, a little biking doll, here to join their ranks.
He put his hand over his mouth, trying not to break out into total panic. But another glance at the figures his size, the other toys in this room, make something painful claw into his chest.
Was this how William saw him? As nothing more than a toy? Was this what he was now?
“Help!” He cried, his hands shaking. He looked at the blank, unmoving faces of the dolls standing around him and shivered. “I… I’m not a toy! I’m n-not supposed to be here!” He said out loud. Even if nobody listened.
He pressed his back to the cold wall of the castle and sank down, putting his face into his knees, trying not to cry. He took deep breaths, listening to the echoing cracks and creaks of William’s attic. Every sound was so much louder now, and it set him on edge.
He was a living boy, tucked away and shelved in the castle in the attic like he belonged there. But he didn’t!
He wasn’t able to hold the tears back anymore, and he cried quietly to the room of toys that couldn’t understand his fear.
He sat there, quietly, waiting for William to come back – because there was nothing else he could do.
--
Jason couldn’t help the shouts of panic that kept escaping his mouth. He could hear the snuffling, the loud scratching of claws on the stone floor outside the flimsy wooden door. He hadn’t gotten a good chance to look at what it was before it had chased him through the castle’s corridors, but he’d seen the matted brown fur, the long, whip-like tail, and a flash of yellow teeth before he’d turned and run, trying to put as much room between him and the creepy animal behind him.
It looked too big to be a mouse. He didn’t know how big he was, but his friend Andrew had pet mice, and he didn’t remember them looking like that.
His heart raced as he heard long, sharp teeth scratching at the door. He let out a terrified scream. If he wasn’t so afraid he was about to be eaten by a rat or something that was three times as big as he was, he might have been embarrassed.
“William!” He shouted, but he knew his little voice wouldn’t carry through the old brownstone. He’d be lucky if it carried outside of the model castle. He felt a large body run into the door, ramming it with its nose. “Help!”
He couldn’t help the panic rising, his breaths becoming shallow as he watched the silhouette of the huge animal on the other side of the door. A long, sharp claw scraped under the door, the thickness of his fingernail. He gulped.
“William!” He cried again, grasping around the inside of whatever closet he’d shut himself in for something to bat the claw away. The only thing within reach was a tanned leather coat, which he grabbed just to put something between him and the encroaching claw. He kicked at it, the claw retreating for a second before scrabbling again for the warm, living meal behind the door.
The only thing Jason could do was keep kicking, and trying to survive.
--
William hurried up the stairs, grinning excitedly. He dropped his backpack on the attic floor, stepping over to the castle. Kneeling down, he peered inside the castle, already reaching for Jason.
Instead, he saw something furry and bigger than his tiny friend scratching at one of the wooden closet doors.
“Shoo!” He said, waving his hand inside the castle to scare off the rat. The little rodent squeaked at him, turning tail to escape. He watched it slip through a hole in the side of the castle, scurrying off to disappear into a hole in the wall.
He’d have to tell his parents they had a rat problem. He couldn’t afford to have pests in here, not when he had something special up here. He’d have to patch up that hole in the side of the castle, too. But first…
“Jason?” William murmured, peering through the hallways. He poked at the door that the rat had been clawing at, and pulled it open.
Jason was in there, trembling, his eyes wide with panic.
“Oh, man, I’m sorry.” William said, wincing. He scooped his fingers into the closet, wrapping gently around his tiny friend.
He’d been full of words and anger since William had miniaturized him. He generally refused to eat, only picking at food once his stomach started growling. William felt bad for how upset he was, but the idea of facing him again, full-sized, was too terrifying to consider.
How angry would he be? How far would he go once they were on the same level again? He didn’t know if he was ready for that. So he kept Jason small, living in the castle, bringing him food and whatever supplies he could.
He didn’t let any of his other friends see him or touch him. Jason was for him and him alone.
But he wasn’t angry now.
He was terrified. The second that William’s fingers curled around him, he could feel his muscles shaking like a scared mouse, his breaths panting and shallow. He opened his palm, looking down to see if he was hurt.
“Did it hurt you?” William asked. But Jason didn’t answer. His little brown eyes were still wide with fear, and he wouldn’t stop shaking. He scrambled to William’s fingers, and wrapped his tiny arms around the middle one.
William felt a strange burst of emotion at the sight. Jason looked so small – so different from the tall, strong boy who’d looked down on him for failing to jump the trains. For getting the wrong bike. For being unable to keep up on the mile runs.
No, now he was little, terrified, and clinging to a finger like a child. William gently flexed the finger, watching his friend lift and fall with the delicate movements of his hand.
His free hand was moving before he could stop it. There was a twisting in his heart, a string that tugged his hand, his finger extended, toward his terrified friend. He let his fingertip brush gently over Jason’s dark curls, which were soft and fine under his finger. He meant it to be comforting, like a hand on the shoulder, but it felt so different now.
Jason whimpered quietly, still gripped with panic, even as William brushed his finger over his shoulder and down his arm.
It wasn’t weird. It wasn’t. William was comforting his friend. He wasn’t going to think about what it looked like. What it felt like under his finger.
That it felt nice to not feel so much smaller than Jason.
That he didn’t know if he was really that sorry.
“It’s okay.” William said quietly. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”