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2017-01-04
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Wow, He Did That

Summary:

You asked my friend to marry you while you had your dick buried deep in his ass?” Magnus interrupts, looking at Even like he’s torn between being impressed and appalled.

or

the one where isak hates his friends he's pretty sure they hate him back.

Work Text:

“Okay” Isak looks at Even pointedly, “How did you propose to me again?”

Even rolls his eyes, “I had my dic-“

“Even!” Isak exclaims indignantly, “I meant what I said, you are telling those three the most romantic proposal story ever, okay? Just like the one we gave to my parents”

Even pouts, “Why can’t we just tell them the truth? It’s not like I have certain image I have to build in front of them, it’s a totally different case with your parents”

“Yeah well,” Isak pads out the kitchen to the living room the moment the bell rings; ready to open the door, “I do. And you’re going to do as I say”

“But you’re going to do the thing after this, right?” Even pulls him for a kiss, sounding hopeful (and a little desperate).

“We’ll see” Isak smirks, and gives him a failed wink which makes Even laugh. “Now, put the snacks you made on the table, please”

Even gives him a peck again, before turning around and heads back to the kitchen, “Anything for you, baby”

Isak rolls his eyes and grins, opening the door when Mahdi shouts for him to hurry the fuck up because I gotta pee.

_

It’s a Friday night; the whole gang is hanging out at Isak and Even’s apartment. Mahdi brings a shit load of alcohol while Magnus suggests them to play poker. Jonas, whose wife just gave birth barely had the chance to slip out of the house, so Isak spares his lack of contribution and simply thankful that they’re all here.

“So, what’s new?” Jonas asks, they’ve just finished playing and Magnus lost almost half of the money he has in his wallet. Isak glances at Even, silently asking him whether or not they should break the news, but Magnus beats them to it-

“Well, I just met this girl-“

Mahdi lets out a groan, “I’m too tired to hear you getting dumped, again-“

“Hey!” Magnus glares, “Who says anything about getting dumped? Seriously, man, have a little faith in me”

Isak sniggers, and Even, whose arm is draped on his shoulders asks, “So, did you two hook up?”

Magnus shifts a little, “Well, not exactly. But she slipped her number into my pocket, so you know, things might happen after this”

“Wait,” Jonas interrupts, “People still do that these days?”

“Why does that matter?” Isak dismisses him, “The real question here, is that did Magnus drug her or something? Was she fucked in the head? What kind of sorcery Magnus used to deceive this gi-“

 “Oh, fuck off, Isak” Magnus grumbles, rolling his eyes, “I fucking charmed her with my bluntness, she went weak in the knees afterwards”

“What?” Mahdi asks skeptically.

Magnus takes a gulp of his beer, “Right. So I was like, at this intersection, waiting to cross the road and she came up next to me. This girl has the darkest eyes ever, like I was looking into a tub of black ink and turns out I didn’t realize I was saying it out loud, suddenly she blushed and scribbled her number on the receipt from her pocket and slipped it to mine”  he finishes proudly, waving the exact paper to his friend’s eyes. There are many shocked responses jumbling out at the same time-

“Are you making this all up?” Mahdi says in horror, even though the evidence is right across his eyes.

“That was so fucking sappy…” Jonas comments, Isak nods in agreement.

“Yeah, man, I didn’t know you had it in you”

“More like, why did that girl fall for it” Mahdi jokes, Magnus hits his arm in retaliation, the dark man moans in pain. Jonas and Isak are laughing in delight.

“That was romantic, though” Even, the wiser of them five says. “Congrats, Magnus” he gives his friend a pat on the shoulder. Magnus’ eyes shine, so moved that he has someone to back him up. Even is always been his favorite.

Jonas grimaces, “Wow, I didn’t know you like romantic things, Even”

The tallest man of the group shrugs, “Well, romance keeps the relationship alive, you know. There’s no harm sweeping your partner up their feet once in a while”

Isak scoffs, though he can’t keep himself from smiling and before realizes what he’s saying, the sentence just escapes easily from his mouth. “Oh, please, you proposed to me with your fucking dick, how was that romantic“

There’s five seconds of silence, giving his friends enough time to comprehend the words he blurted out before all hell breaks loose.

 “WHAT?” Magnus screeches, beside him Mahdi is choking on his beer, Jonas instantly leans over to thump on his back- too concern for his friend to bombard the couple with impudent questions, that job belongs to Magnus.

“Urm…” Even starts nervously, his arm is still wrapped around the now red faced Isak. Who burrows his head into Even’s chest to shield himself from the embarrassment.

“You proposed to Isak with your dick?” Magnus inquires again, but before Even could answer, Mahdi cuts him off-

“I don’t understand” he frowns, the innocent question slips out from his mouth way too easily for Even’s liking, “did you slip the ring on your dick and handed it to Isak or something?“

“Mahdi!” Isak yells, face redder than a ripe tomato. Jonas gives a loud laugh, Mahdi smiles sheepishly while Magnus still looks mortified, bless him, honestly.

“Okay” Even says seriously. “First of all, that is physically improbable and my dick is way too big to fit into the ring-“

“What the fuck, Even” Isak groans, clearly has enough putting up with his fiancée’s crude humor.

“Not a cock ring, though” Mahdi mutters, and now it’s Jonas’ turn to choke, Isak pulls away from Even to smack his friend’s back- a little bit harder than he should, but Isak gives zero fucks if Jonas died, the bastard deserves it, to be honest.

Even rolls his eyes, glancing at Magnus, whose eyes look like they’re ready to jump out of the sockets and continues, “I proposed to him when we were making love”

Isak groans again at the last two words Even used, his friends would never let him live after this. Seriously, who uses the term ‘Making Love’ these days?

“Okay…” Jonas says like he understands, and maybe he is because aside from Isak and Even, he’s the third one in the gang to be in a committed relationship, both Mahdi and Magnus still think that devoting yourself to only one person is an old people thing. “So, like, was it an engagement sex? Or did you ask him after you’re done doing the deed and just went with it?”

Even purses his lips, looking too amused for Isak’s liking. “No, not exactly. It was more like mid-sex, you know, like in the middle of the actio-“

You asked my friend to marry you while you had your dick buried deep in his ass?” Magnus interrupts, looking at Even like he’s torn between being impressed and appalled.

Even nods with a smug smile painted on his face. Jonas is laughing again and offers Even his hand for a high five while Mahdi mutters, “I know this guy is into weird shit, but holy hell this just surpass all my suspicions”

Isak though, is having none of it. Clearly he hasn’t had his priorities sort out yet because he’s glaring, “Hang on, why did you assume that it was Even who had his dick buried not m-“

“Oh, come on, Isak” Magnus rolls his eyes, “The whole world knows you’re too lazy to do the fucking and this guy,” he points an accusing finger at Even, “is probably really kinky, he’ll get off at the sight of you squirming and whimpering for mo-“

“Okay!” Even holds ups his hands at Magnus, face is as red as Isak, but he looks pretty pleased instead of offended. “I think you need to stop on the alcohol or find someone to actually get laid with because I can sense your sexual frustration from here”

 Isak and Jonas laugh, Mahdi following them seconds later, while looking at Even like he’s the second coming of Jesus. Magnus pouted, “Hey, just because you’re still fucking your high school sweetheart doesn’t mean you have to rub it on our sad single faces”

“That’s just you, mate” Mahdi says, “I may be single but I’m not sad or desperate”

“Seriously, though” Jonas says thoughtfully, ignoring Mahdi and Magnus who are now bantering on which one is more pathetic. “That worked?” he raised his eyebrow at Even, look at him in disbelief before diverting his gaze to Isak, “And you went for it? Wow, Isak, I thought Even was the one who’s whipped, not the other way around”

“Oh, sod off” Isak swats the back of his head, “I said no for like three times before he kept pestering me. I didn’t want to make him cry before I came because that’s just gonna ruin the moment.”

“Oh, thanks, love” Even pecks Isak’s cheeks, pretending to be grateful, “That was so wonderful of you”

Isak plays along by smacking his lips to Even in an obnoxious way, earning a sneer from Magnus. “Are you sure that’s true? Because I thought you’re one who’s the crier, not Even, bro”

It takes three seconds from Isak to leap from his seat across the table to pour the nearest beer he can find onto Magnus’ long blond hair. The man in front of him let out a high pitched shrieked, making the whole gang cackle with their mouth open wide, heads thrown back and hands clutching on their stomachs.

“I’m so not gonna ask you to be my best man, Magnus. You’re the worst man ever” Isak grumbles, getting up and retrieving back to his seat.

Magnus shakes his head to dry his head like a dog, Mahdi scowls when some of the beer splashes onto his skins. “Nah, that’s okay” The blonde shrugs nonchalantly, “I’m sure Even’s gonna ask me anyway, I like him better than you, you know”

Besides Isak, his fiancée laughs as he learns forward to give Magnus a high five.

Isak huffs and rolls his eyes, sometimes he wonders why he wished for his friends to get along with Even so well in the first place.

“Oh, go to hell, all of you”