Chapter Text
STATE PARK - OUTSIDE CABIN
Powered by the spirit of Halloween, a gang of weirdo young adults drags their luggage out of a rugged SUV. NEIL carries the heaviest of it up the stairs to the cabin he’s rented for them, while SAL, LARRY, and ASH drag their things to the base of the stairs. TODD is holding a planner in his hands. Neil opens the door and they talk as they file in. The cabin is very obnoxiously midwestern, every surface themed after some kind of deer or hunting paraphernalia.
TODD
Neil and I have prepped a proper rooming arrangement already, but we’re willing to discuss if it’s unsatisfactory to any of you.
LARRY
Lay it on me.
TODD
Alright. We have two bedrooms—one with a king size bed, one with two twins, and a foldout couch in the living room. Obviously, Neil and I will be staying in the one-bed, so then we’ll have Sal and Ash in the other bedroom, and Larry on the couch.
LARRY
Oh come on!
ASH
Sounds good to me.
SAL
Y-Yeah. Yeah that’s good. That’s good.
LARRY
Woww, I see how it is. Let the little lovebirds have all the fun while there’re monsters watching me from the windows.
TODD
Can you fit comfortably on a twin-size bed?
LARRY
…No.
TODD
And is it not true that you tend to, uh…rotate in your sleep?
LARRY
So?
SAL
You’ve kicked me in the head multiple times!
TODD
Would you rather sleep in the bed with Neil and I?
LARRY
Hah—what? Gross!
TODD
Well. I’m not sure what to tell you.
LARRY
Whatever, man.
NEIL
You’ll get first dibs on breakfast!
LARRY
…Yeah, okay, sounds good.
He tosses his backpack onto the couch.
They all start unpacking. Sal and Ash talk as they get their stuff out of their bags. Sal is setting up his medication on the side table while Ash unpacks the outrageous amount of makeup she brought with her.
ASH
…So since I’m not wearing a wig, I gotta go extra hard on the makeup. I bought all the glitter I could find at the drug store.
SAL
That’s gonna be really cool.
ASH
Thank youuu! I’m super excited, Jem was one of my favorites growing up. I’m surprised you’re doing such a simple costume this year, usually you pick more of a character.
SAL
Yeah.
A pause.
SAL (cont.)
I was actually thinking about that. Uhm, there’s a reason why it’s so non-descript.
ASH
Go on.
SAL
It’s just, like, my mask tends to get in the way of me actually looking like the character.
Ash turns to face him.
SAL (cont.)
So, I was thinking…you know, just ‘cause we don’t know anybody here…maybe I could go without my mask. Maybe people would just think I have really good zombie makeup on.
Ash smiles.
ASH
Oh hell yeah.
SAL
I don’t know—maybe I’ll change my mind later or get too nervous, but—I feel like it’s a pretty good chance to step outside my comfort zone, right?
ASH
Sal, you don’t have to rationalize that. I mean, you can change your mind if you want, but this sounds very exciting to me. Ooh, I’m getting visions for your makeup already. —You’re letting me do your makeup, right?
SAL
Who else?
Ash grins at him.
ASH
Oh my god. I’m so excited. This is gonna be awesome.
SAL
Hah…yeah.
Larry barges in the room.
LARRY
Guys! Get in here, Neil brought Uno!
CABIN - LIVING ROOM
After unpacking, the gang sits together in the cabin’s living room. Larry has unfolded the couch into its full bed form, but they still manage to find space on the floor to form a circle, playing Uno. Todd is winning. Larry is losing, bad.
LARRY
You’re cheating. I know you’re cheating.
TODD
How on Earth would I be cheating? You see the cards I play. Why would I cheat at such a low-stakes game?
LARRY
There is no such thing as low-stakes Uno.
ASH
Hey, what’s the plan for tomorrow?
NEIL
No plans until lunch time, then we’re gonna have a little cookout at one of the shelters in the park. Then a little trick-or-treating–
TODD
Which we cannot get away with for much longer.
NEIL
And we’ll end the night at a party that’s happening a few cabins down.
ASH
Sounds good.
SAL
Whose party is it?
NEIL
CJ and a few of his friends. Don’t worry about being alone, we’ll all be there too!
SAL
I’m not worried.
LARRY
Sure, man.
SAL
I’m not.
LARRY
No, yeah, I know, you talk to everybody about everything, but I think the crowds are what gets ya. And I don’t know if—YOU ASSHOLE!
Todd has played a “draw four” card on Larry. Exasperated, Larry draws four.
LARRY (cont.)
Haven’t I suffered enough?!
TODD
That’s how the game is played.
Larry shakes his head. Ash giggles and grabs her camera from beside her on the floor. She snaps a picture of this event.
LARRY
Ashhh!
The photo comes out the bottom of the camera, and she lays it on the ground.
ASH
This one’s gonna be powerful.
NEIL
Show me when it develops.
ASH
I think I’m gonna leave the camera in the living room. I want lots of photos of this trip, so take as many as you want. Well, maybe not. The film is expensive. Just have some decorum, and we’ll be fine.
Sal laughs, and Neil plays a “draw two” on Todd. Todd gasps.
TODD
Betrayal.
He reaches to start drawing the cards, then turns.
TODD (cont.)
Just kidding.
He stacks a “draw four” on top. It goes to Larry.
LARRY
YOU’RE JOKING. HE’S CHEATING!
CABIN - SAL & ASH’S ROOM
A few hours later, everyone is preparing for bed. Sal and Larry stand in the room Sal’s staying in, Larry watching over his shoulder as Sal lays his costume out on the luggage rack. It consists of several layers of very torn up clothes.
SAL
I have pretty much everything in here, but I still can’t find the belt…
LARRY
Well you’d better try harder. You don’t wanna get pantsed at a party. Take it from me, not fun.
Sal pulls out the pair of jeans from his costume, laying them on top. The jeans are mostly holes.
LARRY (cont.)
Did you run this stuff over with a bus, or what?
SAL
I found all of it in the Apartments’ lost and found.
LARRY
…Yeah, someone definitely died in that, dude.
SAL
That just makes the costume better.
LARRY
So, are you like, Zombie Shaggy or…?
A beat.
SAL
…What? No, I’m…I’m just a zombie.
A pause. Larry stares at him.
LARRY
What do you mean you’re “just a zombie?”
Sal doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say.
LARRY (cont.)
Dude. I’m Scooby Doo. You’re supposed to be Shaggy.
SAL
What are you talking about?
LARRY
Dude. We were all supposed to be matching!
SAL
You did not bring this up to me once.
LARRY
DUDE.
SAL
If we planned this out, wouldn’t you be the better Shaggy?
Larry facepalms.
LARRY
Oh my god. Did I dream this? Did I dream this?!
Ash exits the bathroom, Larry stops her.
LARRY (cont.)
Ash! What’s your costume?
ASH
Jem?
LARRY
Oh my god!
ASH
What’s wrong with him?
Sal shrugs.
LARRY
Oh my god. I’m gonna be Scooby by myself. I can’t be Scooby by myself!
Ash laughs at him.
LARRY (cont.)
I should’ve known something was wrong when Todd wasn’t Velma.
Neil enters and stands in the doorway.
NEIL
What’s going on in here?
Larry points at him.
LARRY
You were Daphne!
NEIL
What?
LARRY
Guys!
ASH
Larry dreamed that we were all going as Scooby Doo characters.
LARRY
This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.
NEIL
I’m sure you’ll be matching with someone on the campgrounds.
LARRY
Yeah, like I want to match with small children in the forest. Guys, what am I supposed to do.
ASH
Take it in stride, man. I’m sure you’ll be the coolest Scooby there. And the tallest.
A pause. Larry sighs.
LARRY
I’m going to bed.
He does the walk of shame out to the couch.
ASH
Why is he the way that he is?
NEIL
Sometimes it’s tough being Larry.
ASH
How heavy do you think he’s going on this costume?
SAL
There’s gotta be ears involved.
LARRY
Guys.
Larry appears back in the doorway.
LARRY (cont.)
Have you seen Frostypipo?
ASH
…Who?
LARRY
Frostypipo. My…
He relents.
LARRY (cont.)
My stuffed dinosaur.
ASH
AWWWWWW!
NEIL
I can’t say I have. What does he–she–it? Look like?
SAL
You still sleep with that thing? Isn’t it like, blind and withered?
LARRY
Watch your tone.
NEIL
I’m a master at tracking stuff down, I’ll help you look.
LARRY
Thanks.
Neil gives Larry a fatherly pat on the back as they go out to the living room.
ASH
Put some respect on Frostypipo’s name.
SAL
My bad. …She is blind and withered, to be fair.
A while later, Sal and Ash are sitting on their respective beds. Sal is reading a comic book while Ash listens to music on her walkman and draws. Sal’s hair is down, but his mask is still on.
SAL
Ash? Can I ask if—
ASH
Huh?
Ash moves her headphones off one ear.
SAL
I feel kinda bad about Larry’s whole costume thing.
ASH
Really? Why?
SAL
I don’t know. Maybe it’s just because I’m overthinking my own, but…Is there something I could’ve done?
ASH
Unless you wanna start dream-walking, in Larry’s mind of all people, I think you’re perfectly innocent.
SAL
I guess.
A pause.
SAL (cont.)
Hey Ash?
ASH
Hang on.
She moves her headphones again.
SAL
Sorry. Do you think I should change my costume?
ASH
Why would you do that?
SAL
I don’t know.
ASH
Larry had a dream about a conversation that never happened, and his dumb ass thought it was real and never thought to check in. (Beat.) It sounds to me like you’re looking for excuses.
SAL
I would—No, I’m not.
ASH
It sounds like you arrreee…
SAL
I’m perfectly confident.
ASH
Good. You should be.
Another, longer pause. Sal flips his comic closed.
SAL
Ash?
She takes her headphones off.
ASH
The moment I unpause my song…
SAL
Sorry.
ASH
…Well? What’s up?
SAL
Do you think Todd and Neil are still gonna like me if they see my face?
ASH
Sal.
SAL
I mean, like…
ASH
Sal. Todd is the most objective, nonchalant guy I’ve ever met, who, mind you, spends most of his time looking at pictures of gnarled cryptids, and Neil is the most sickeningly sweet person to ever grace this planet. Do you really—do you really, honestly think they’d give a flying fuck?
SAL
…I guess not. But it’s not real and honest, I know it’s irrational, I just get scared.
ASH
I get that. But it comes to a point where you gotta step back and look at these people for who they are. These are your best friends, Sal. And even if they weren’t, I think you overestimate how much people care what you look like.
Sal doesn’t respond.
ASH (cont.)
Do you want a hug?
SAL
Yeah.
LARRY
Guys.
Larry appears in the doorway like a specter.
SAL
Jesus!
ASH
God, Larry! —Eww, put a shirt on!
She throws a decorative deer-themed pillow at him. He tries to catch it, but misses, and it falls to the floor.
LARRY
It’s not my fault I get toasty while I sleep!
ASH
What do you want?
LARRY
We couldn’t find Frostypipo.
SAL
Oh man.
LARRY
But I guess you’re two steps ahead of me, I was gonna ask to steal a pillow.
He picks the throw pillow off the floor.
SAL
I think I have something actually, hang on.
Sal rustles through his backpack, which is sitting on the floor next to his bed. Out of it he pulls a small, limp stuffed bunny. He tosses it to Larry.
SAL (cont.)
That’s Jeffrey. Take good care of him.
Larry looks down at the bunny in his hands.
LARRY
Oh my god. I’ll protect him with my life.
He turns away and walks back to the couch. A pause.
SAL
I think I should go to sleep.
ASH
Yeah, same.
Sal gets off the bed and closes the door. He unclips his mask and hangs it on the doorknob. He turns around, right into a hug from Ash. After staying there for a few seconds, he gives her a little pat on the back.
SAL
Uh–Thanks, Ash.
ASH
I can tell you need it. Now get some sleep, man. I’m sure you’ll feel better in the morning.
SAL
Yeah.
ASH
You okay? You look a little anxious.
SAL
Uh, no, no I’m–I’m cool.
ASH
If you say so.
Ash walks back to her bed. Sal screams in his head. He walks back to his bed, tossing his comic onto the floor.
ASH
‘Night, Sal.
SAL
Goodnight.
Ash clicks the lamp off.