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“Staging a break up to see who our friends will side with.”
As soon as Mydei hears the robotic voice from his boyfriend’s phone, he immediately knows the dumb request that will come out of Phainon’s mouth next.
“Mydei! Mydei! Why don’t we try that? Winner gets a favour from the loser!” Phainon climbs on top of Mydei and peers at him with bright, shining eyes.
“No.” Mydei rejects flatly.
Phainon shakes him. “Why not?”
Mydei ignores the earthquake and continues reading his book. Sensing his rattling is not working, Phainon switches to a different tactic.
“Don’t tell me… You’re not scared of a silly challenge, are you Mydeimos?” A practiced smirk, a taunt in his eyes, he channels his inner ragebaiter and plants the bait.
Mydei tsked. “You’re losing your touch. The ploy is too obvious.”
Phainon laughs and leans in to kiss his neck. “C’mon, humour me a little. We’ll only fake it for a week. Besides, it’s just a harmless prank. Not like we’re breaking up for real…”
Mydei lowers his book and directs a bored stare at his boyfriend. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Of course!” Phainon replies without missing a beat.
With a sigh, Mydei thinks, why not?
He can humour his puppy if this is what he really wants.
“Fine,” Mydei relents, “just don’t come crying to me about it when things don’t go the way you want it to go.”
“I love you,” Phainon announces before instigating a makeout session.
Later as they are cuddled up for bed, Mydei drops a bomb. “I can move out tomorrow morning. My parents have a vacant apartment I can crash at for a few nights.”
Phainon stops nibbling on Mydei’s left nipple.
“Wait, why are you moving out!?” he cries.
Mydei scrunches his brows in confusion. “For the challenge?”
Phainon tilts his head.
“Wouldn’t it be weird if we’re still living together after a break up?” Mydei elaborates when Phainon continues to stare at him like he’s sprouted wings.
Phainon frantically shakes his head. “Nope. Not weird at all! Plenty of couples take days or weeks to move out post-break up.”
“That’s because they don’t have the financial means to,” Mydei observes.
With how down to earth his boyfriend behaves, Phainon forgets he’s the heir to the Kremnoan Empire. But sometimes there’s moments like these where he calls everyone poor without batting an eye.
“Okay, but…” Phainon scrambles for a reason, not willing to part with his lover.
Mydei gives him a quizzical look. “Do you want to sell the lie or not? We can just call off the challenge if you can’t handle—”
“No!” Phainon protests. The challenge was his idea and it would be pretty lame if they call it off because of him. “I can handle it,” he assures.
Mydei’s hand wanders lower and lower before it stops at Phainon’s bulge. “If you say so,” he says with a smirk.
Phainon’s breathing quickens.
They don’t remember who finally crossed the line, but they do remember going until early morning.
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Phainon wakes up to a cold, empty bed and immediately starts second guessing his decision. He misses Mydei.
He rolls to the other side of the bed, buries himself in his lover's pillow and savours a deep sniff before he gets up.
Once he’s done his morning routine, he’s struck with a sudden realisation—he's not sure how to fake a break up. He never had to worry about such a thing. Why would he?
Hmm… So what do couples do when they break up?
After a bit of internet sleuthing, he has a plan.
He starts by updating his social media accounts. He changes his profile picture to the generic black and white frame of Kaneki Ken and updates his name to “i miss him”.
Then, he sets up a couple of heartbreak playlists and makes sure they are listed as public so his friends can easily infer he’s going through a rough breakup.
Finally, the finishing touch is a mass text he sends out to his entire contact list. “Mydei and I broke up 🥺”
There. Now everyone (including the tech support guy he messaged once about his broken wifi) knows that he’s single.
He sets his phone down and begins preparing his lunch. Phainon steps into the empty kitchen and tries not to think about Mydei too much.
In the thirty minutes it took him to finish cooking, Phainon came back to a dozen missed calls and text notifications in the triple digits. He cheers.
He’s already imagining how lovely Mydei will look in the red lingerie when he cashes in his favour.
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Phainon purposely leaves his hair uncombed and shirt wrinkly when he goes to meet up with the girls. He’s going for the disheveled look to gain more sympathy.
He spent most of yesterday dealing with the aftermath of faking a breakup (aka replying to all the comforting text messages). Most were from acquaintances that offered words of condolences and wished him the best.
Then, you have friends like Stelle, who asks what's Mydei's favourite flowers so she can shoot her shot now that he's on the market again. Phainon typed a lengthy message telling her to back off his man before remembering that's probably just Stelle being Stelle and deleted the entire thing.
Cyrene tried to facetime him but barely got a word in before the call ended. He later hears a news broadcast about the blizzard that hit Belabog. He hopes she doesn’t freeze to death on her two weeks excursion to see the Northern Lights.
The sad part is he never received a message from the person he cares about the most—Mydeimos.
Unfortunately he forgot about his boyfriend’s tendency to take things too literally. Phainon’s plan was to fake it in front of the public and still be lovey dovey in private (maybe even try a bit of sexting since Mydei was so adamant about moving out). But Mydei went all the way and cut off all forms of communications.
This means he has to endure a week without his lover. He’s already experiencing withdrawals. How is he supposed to last a whole week?
To overcome the loneliness, he agreed to the girls’ demand of a lunch hangout to check-in on him. They weren’t taking a “no” for an answer anyways. When he arrives, they already have a table filled with all his favourites and invited him to take a seat.
He’s not surprised by Castorice and Hyacine’s presence since they are forever bonded from TAing for Professor Anaxa. He does do a double-take when he sees Cifera. Phainon always assumed she was closer to his boyfriend since they always went on shopping trips together without him.
“Yikes, you’re clearly not taking the breakup well,” Cifera says in lieu of a greeting.
Hyacine nudges her. “Don’t mind her. Dig in Snowy! There’s plenty of food to eat away your feelings!”
Cifera snorts. “Not everyone copes by eating like your fat dog.”
“Excuse me, Ica is slightly chubby at best!” Hyacine defends.
Castorice rubs her temple. “What they mean to say is, we are all here for you if you ever want to talk about it.”
At her words, the three pairs of eyes bored straight into his soul. They stared at him expectantly, waiting for him to break into a sob and lament about his devastating breakup.
Phainon froze.
He really didn’t think too deep into this challenge. How is he supposed to conjure waterworks when he’s still got a Kremnoan baddie moaning his name just a day ago?
Phainon invokes all the sadness from being unable to crack Mydei until next week and begins his performance.
“I don’t know what went wrong,” he wails. “Emotions were high and we both said some hurtful things, but it wasn’t supposed to end like that!”
Not trusting himself to actually cry, he buries his head into his arms and fake sobs into the table.
Hyacine patted him on the back. “There, there. Let it all out.”
“I would say there’s plenty more fishes in the sea, but I doubt there’s gonna be another one like the Little Lion,” Cifera hums.
“Don’t listen to her, Snowy. I’ll sure you’ll find someone—erm I mean some peace in being alone?” Hyacine is quick to reassure.
Cifera rolls her eyes. “See, even you can’t say that he’ll find someone better than the Little Lion.”
“Mydei is a pretty unbeatable benchmark for a first love,” Castorice agrees. “Nonetheless, I do believe time can heal your heartache,” she shares her words of wisdom.
Phainon was about to thank their sincere attempts at supporting him through his fake breakup when the conversation took a turn.
“Orrrr, have you tried begging on your knees and whining?” Cifera suggests. “I think Mydei would be into that. He’s probably into pathetic puppies begging him to get back together.”
“We can get you some dog ears and a collar,” Hyacine follows with too much enthusiasm.
“I’m sure Mydei loves you enough to take you back if you apologise,” Castorice is also onboard with the idea.
Phainon shoots upright.
“Wait a minute, what do you mean he’ll agree to take me back? Why do you guys think I was the one who did something wrong?” he questions.
They exchanged a look.
“Because why else would you two break up if you didn’t fumble him,” Cifera states it bluntly.
“What if I broke up with him?” Phainon retorts.
“Ha! As if you’re willing to part with that hot bod of his. We all know how down bad you are for his Mydeimussy,” she crackles.
Phainon recoils. “Please don’t say that. Ever.”
Cifera ignores him. “Besides, when I asked him to spill the tea this is all that he sent.”
She flashes her phone and shows him the text from Mydei. It was short and concise and did nothing to quench Phainon’s yearning. He misses his boyfriend who refuses to talk to him because of a stupid challenge.
Our breakup was mutual, no hard feelings.
Phainon didn’t glean anything from the text but Cifera clearly disagrees. “He’s obviously pissed at something you did and that’s why he dumped your ass.”
“Don’t worry Snowy, that’s why we’re here to help! Now, about those dog ears…”
His brain tunes out Hyacine as he tries to recount what caused the situation to spiral out of control.
This isn’t a typical post-breakup support hangout at all! Aren’t friends supposed to trash-talk the ex (not that he wanted them to badmouth his beloved Mydeimos) and offer emotional support?
Instead, they spent the rest of the hangout nitpicking at his habits for reasons why Mydei would want to leave him. The more they talk, the more they’re all convinced Mydei will meet someone better and leave him for good.
They send him off with a 88 step plan on how to win back Mydeimos.
Phainon starts by blowing up Mydei’s inbox again. He’s left on read and a small part of him wonders if the girls are right about Mydei losing his interest in him.
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In the middle of the week he gets called into Aglaea’s office. He’s severely sleep deprived after relinquishing his favourite pillow, but he wouldn’t want to upset his favourite mentor by skipping the meeting in favour of a nap.
He’s sure by the look of concern she directs at him that he’s a pitiful mess.
“Please, take a seat,” she gestures towards the plush velvet chair that seems perfect for passing out on.
“This won’t take long, I just wanted a quick chat to see how you’ve been doing recently.” Aglaea took a sip of her tea, her face remained neutral.
Phainon’s heart sank. He knew exactly what this was about. He totally bombed Monday’s thesis review because he’s suffering from Mydei withdrawals and now his mentor is disappointed in him. He’ll lose his scholarship and have to go back to his family farm at Aedes Elysiae for the rest of his life.
Aglaea must have picked up his distress. She pushes a cup of tea towards him and calms him down. “Relax, you’re not in trouble or anything. I am however concerned about your mental wellbeing as of late.”
He blinks. “Pardon?”
She takes an uncomfortably long sip of her tea before continuing. “I heard about your breakup. I suspect that may be the reason for the… underwhelming submission on Monday.”
Phainon hangs his head in shame. How does he explain to his mentor that he initiated a fake breakup and is now suffering the symptoms of missing his boyfriend to the point of spending hours at home scrolling through his albums of creepshots and masturbating to the jackets he’s left behind.
He forgoes any explanations and skips to apologising instead. “I’m so sorry. I know it’s really unprofessional of me to let this interfere with my academics. I’ve been granted such a wonderful opportunity yet I’m wasting it. I can—”
Aglaea holds up her hand to stop his rambles. “You can hand in a more polished submission by Sunday and we will go from there. As much as I expect the best from you, you are only human.”
Phainon tries to voice his gratitude but ends up sounding like a choking mule.
“My condolences for how your relationship ended. I thought you two were quite the fitting pair. But I also know how resilient you are and have complete faith that you’ll come back from this stronger than ever.”
Aglaea then proceeds to spend the next little while comforting him (which is a lot more than whatever the girls were doing). Phainon politely nods and smiles at the right moment but is dying on the inside.
She’s in the middle of listing all the positives of remaining single when the office door swings open.
Her mood sours instantly when she locks eyes with the intruder. “A knock would be the bare minimum, Anaxagoras.”
“I don’t see why I should bother with pleasantries when I'm trying to save my TA from a hostage situation,” Anaxa deadpans.
Aglaea narrows her eyes. “I don’t know what you are trying to imply here. This matter hardly concerns you.”
“I disagree,” Anaxa argues. “Phainon was supposed to be aiding with my grading ten minutes ago. Yet, I find him trapped here with you.”
“I believe Phainon’s mental wellness is more important than the marking you idly unload on to your TAs because you’re too apathetic to do it yourself,” Aglaea asserts.
Phainon takes this as his cue to step in before the two murder each other.
“My apologies Professor Anaxa for losing track of the time. I’m going through a rather rough patch of my life and Professor Aglaea was graciously offering me advice.” He thinks of his inability to touch Mydei again and hopes the teary eyes are enough to halt the fight.
“Oh yes, the breakup,” Anaxa concludes. He, too, is a victim of Phainon’s mass text.
The professors watch as Phainon starts brawling (he’s getting quite good at crying on command) and Aglaea is quick to offer him a box of tissues. They let him cry for a minute before calling a ceasefire through heated glances.
Unfortunately, the ceasefire means both professors are now trying to coach him on how to deal with his painful breakup while they are being very passive-aggressive to each other.
Phainon sits through a very awkward powerpoint on how to heal from a heartbreak that Professor Anaxa had at his disposal with Professor Aglaea interjecting in-between every slide to mention why his advice should not be trusted because no one in their right mind would want to date him.
With the amount of pen throwing that occurred, Phainon is surprised that all three of them walked out of the office with no injuries.
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Phainon gets an unexpected visitor by the fifth day. Hephaestion waltzes in as if it’s completely normal for him to seek out his best friend’s ex. He catches Phainon while he’s making a sappy edit of him and Mydei together to cope with his loneliness and questions the choice of Careless Whisper as the background music.
Phainon tells him to stop judging his creative liberties and asks him for the purpose of his visit.
He really hopes Hephaestion is not here to beat his ass for breaking his bestie’s heart. He vividly remembers when the rest of Mydei’s rock band pulled him to a secluded corner and gave him the shovel talk for dating their youngest. Ptolemy made it abundantly clear where he will shove the drumstick if Phainon ever does anything to hurt Mydei’s fragile heart.
Instead of receiving punches like he was expecting, Hephaestion hands him a textbook that could double as a cement block with how hefty it is.
“What’s this?” Phainon wonders as he flips through the ominous present.
“You’re not the first one going through a heartbreak because of Mydeimos,” Hephaestion sighs. “He’s been breaking hearts left and right since puberty.”
“What?” Phainon hisses. “I’m Mydei’s first boyfriend! Who else dares touch my Mydeimos.”
Hephaestion rolls his eyes. “Chill. I was talking about the numerous love confessions from his fanclub that he’s rejected over the years. It was quite a headache—enough that the fanclub created a scarce text to help the newbies get over it.”
Phainon furrows his brows as he continues flipping. “So why are you giving me this?”
Hephaestion stares at him like he’s looking at a dunce. “Geez, I wonder why I’m giving my bestfriend’s ex a guide on how to recover from being dumped by my bestfriend.”
Because Mydei is still mine! Phainon bitterly protests in his head.
Sensing his hostility, Hephaestion reveals the other package he brought. He opens his bag to reveal a tupperware of cute chimera cookies.
“I also have some consolation treats that Mydeimos made.”
Phainon quickly snatches the container and possessively curls around it like a stray mutt guarding a piece of scrap of meat he found on the street. “It’s from Mydei you say…” his eyes shining with a million suns.
Hephaestion thinks it's over for Phainon. That puppy is not getting over the breakup anytime soon.
Fulfilling his duty, the visitor didn’t linger longer than he needed to and left Phainon to wallow in his empty home.
Phainon bites into a cookie and almost tears up when the burst of lemon meringue hits his tongue. Even when they are separated, Mydei still bakes his favourite snacks. He eats a few more cookies and saves the rest for later.
The treats gave him a power boost. He scraps the current project and opens a new file to work on their sex tape instead. The sight of Mydei moaning as he’s pounding into him grants Phainon the strength to hold on for two more days (mmm sexy red lace lingerie).
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The next day, Phainon spots Mydei at their local coffee shop. He’s about to call out to him when he remembers the on-going challenge.
With how serious Mydei takes everything, would he be mad if Phainon ruined the immersion? Not willing to risk it, Phainon tucks himself into a secluded corner.
He watches as Mydei orders his usual. Phainon holds back a growl when spies the barista at the counter. That’s the Philosophy major who keeps flirting with Mydei before he found out Mydei was taken. Why’s he giving Mydei the lustful stare all of a sudden?
Phainon wants to slap himself. The coffee shop was part of his mass text too! That flirt must think he can score with his Mydeimos.
The barista leans over the corner and starts chatting up Mydei. Curse the coffee shop and their lack of customers at 2pm.
Not wanting to blow his cover, Phainon decides the most inconspicuous thing he can do in this situation is to grab the empty cup from a nearby table and chuck it at the barista’s head. He does a lot of target practice with Mydei every night so this shot lands its mark with no problems.
His victory didn’t last long as the hit didn't faze the barista at all. He continues to smooth-talk Mydei and writes his number on a cupsleeve. When his co-worker is done with the order, he hands Mydei the drink with the cardboard.
Phainon feels his heart sinking when Mydei walks out of the shop without tossing the cupsleeve.
As revenge, he walks up to the counter and orders the most convoluted drink imaginable just to watch the barista struggle with inputting his order. The drink ends up having six plumps of caffeine and seven different types of syrups. It is completely undrinkable and he gifts it to Caelus who downs it without batting an eye.
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Phainon is dreading another day moping around and doing nothing when he hears the door being unlocked.
He catches a flash of blonde and jumps to his feet.
Without any warning, he sweeps his lover into his arms and plops him on the couch. He climbs on top of him and starts planting wet, sloppy kisses wherever he can.
“Get off me, Phainon.” Mydei reaches out and squishes Phainon’s face in one hand. “You’re slobbering all over me.”
“I missed you,” Phainon whines. “Please please please please give me kisses.”
Unable to resist his puppy-eyes, Mydei yanks his face closer and rewards him with a peck on the lips.
Phainon goes to deepen the kiss but Mydei’s gate remains impenetrable. He slides a hand under Mydei’s tanktop to squeeze his perky nipples to take advantage of the moment of weakness and explore further with his tongue.
Both of them are panting by the time they break apart.
Phainon wants to keep going with something even more intimate but a firm hold stops him.
“Eager are we, Puppy?” Mydei muses. “You don’t get to touch until we settle the victor of the competition.”
Mydei fishes Phainon’s phone out of his pocket and starts scrolling through his messages. His frown deepens the longer he scrolls.
When he’s done checking, he tosses the phone on the couch with a sigh. “I forgot how many people you actually talk to,” Mydei grumbles. “Congratulations, what would you like as your favour?”
Phainon erupts into tears on the spot and catches Mydei off guard. He goes to soothe his crying boyfriend who burrows into his tiddies to seek comfort.
“You can’t leave me for more than a day,” Phainon demands. “Never again!”
Mydei chuckles. Wasn’t his clingy boyfriend the one who proposed the challenge in the first place? “That doesn’t sound really feasible, especially when we get jobs and—”
Phainon cuts him off with a whine.
“Okay Puppy, I won’t leave you,” he promises.
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Mydei had an exhausting week. His boyfriend wanted to stage a breakup and he went along with it to entertain him. The gossip rags that Cifera makes him read did say indulging in your partner’s whim is what keeps a relationship healthy.
And so, he packed his things and braced himself to be apart from his boyfriend for a week. Luckily his parents had a furnished apartment nearby he could stay at.
The first few days were no problem. He kept himself occupied with schoolwork and left no time to think about Phainon.
The girls reached out on several occasions to get the full story on the breakup, but he deliberately kept his responses vague and impersonal. As much as he wants to get them on his side (which would likely secure his victory), he also knows they will definitely pick up on his bullshit and see that he’s still madly in love with Phainon.
It took every shred of restraint within him to not reply to the flood of messages from Phainon. Mydei felt like a heartless pet owner abandoning their puppy when he gathered the determination to mute all notifications for his boyfriend. It’s only a week, he tells himself.
By midweek, he’s already a week ahead of his current workload for all his courses and fills his spare time with baking instead. He does this for a day before his kitchen is overwhelmed by sweet treats.
He rings Hephaestion and asks him for a favour. Hephaestion, a true friend, does what is requested without any question. When he reports back, he urges Mydei to get over whatever couple dispute they may be having because he’s “never seen a man look more pathetic”.
Mydei opens the chat with Phainon and drafts several messages before he decides against it. He sets down the phone and pours his efforts into perfecting some new dishes instead. He plans to fatten up his puppy since he’s missing out on a week of Mydei’s homecooked meals.
The next day, he visits the coffee shop that he and Phainon frequent for a change in scenery. Even without the jingling door bells alerting him, he could smell Phainon’s cologne from a mile away. From the corner of his eyes he spies his puppy clumsily hiding in one of the corners.
Luckily the barista working the counter was the Philosophy major with a massive crush on Ptolemy. Mydei strikes up a bargain—he’ll pass his number to Ptolemy if the barista pretends to flirt with him.
Mydei almost let a laugh slip when Phainon threw the cup at the innocent worker. To the barista’s credit, he barely reacts. He must really want that date with Mydei’s bandmate.
He leaves behind a big tip for the poor barista who got caught in the crossfire and relishes in Phainon’s look of jealousy. That possessive look on his puppy will be enough to carry him until the end of the competition.
On the seventh day, he wakes up bright and early. He’s had enough of this dumb competition. Who cares if a week technically hasn’t passed yet, he doubts Phainon would mind if he goes home a little early.
Mydei gets pinned to the couch by his over-euthusiastic boyfriend and attacked by kisses. He cards his hand through the fluffy white locks and lets himself bask in this moment of bliss. Then, he got irritated by the wet sensation and told his puppy to get off.
He’s shocked by what Phainon wanted for his favour… But he doesn’t hate it. He wonders if the prank he pulled in the coffee shop aggravated Phainon’s clinginess. Feeling a crumb of guilt, Mydei swears to make it up to him.
When his boyfriend is snoring peacefully next to him, Mydei unlocks his phone and snoops through his browsing history. Oh? So he wants red huh? He can work with that.
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Phainon almost gets a speeding ticket from how fast he rushed home after the ominous text from Mydei. He yells into the empty living room and a voice from the bedroom beckons him forwards.
As the door swings open, he’s met with the salivating sight of Mydei in the exact red lacy lingerie that he’s been envisioning for his recurring wet dreams.
“Come here, Puppy,” Mydei instructs. His fingers spread his glistening folds and he presents it like a delicacy served at Michelin star restaurants. “You’ll start by eating me out and then I’ll ride you till you break.”
Phainon unbuckles his belt and frees his Dawnmaker. “This is the best day of my life!” he cheers.