Work Text:
Cliff Marleau woke slowly.
The first thing he heard was a familiar Russian accent.
"You are back, Malysh"
Before he could fully open his eyes, he felt a warm palm cup his cheek.
His vision slowly focused.
His best friend was standing beside the hospital bed he was laying on.
"Roz?" "What happened, brother? Why am I in the hospital? Is Hollander okay? How is he?"
He looked around the room in confusion before looking back at Ilya. He sees concern but also something else not right in his bestfriend's eyes.
The other man shakes his head slightly "Who cares about boring hockey player, moya lyubov? What are you talking about? You are awake, that is what's important." The man he changes the placement of his hand from his face to wipe a stray hair from the other man's face.
Cliff thinks to himself "This is fucking weird". And he may not speak russian, but over the years of playing with the Ilya Rozanov, he has learned a thing or two in russian especially the endearments he used with his previous one night stands on every city he used to get laid on.
And "Malysh"? "Moya llyubov"? Is definitely one of those endearments. "What the actual fuck is going on?" Cliff thinks.
Cliff asks Ilya again. "Bro what the hell are you on? Why am I here? Will you fucking finally tell me what happened?"
Ilya answers "...Bro? Take it easy Zaichik, you were hit, remember? On our game last night."
Cliff holds his forehead in confusion.
"When did I get hit? Didn't I hit hollander?"
"What are you talking about my love? Why do you keep bringing up player with the weak backhand? I am here, should I get the doctor for you?"
My love? What the fuck, am I still dreaming? Am I DEAD and is this my afterlife in hell????
Cliff decides he ignores the elephant or whatever people say instead.
"What game did we play last night brother? I don't remember anything."
"New york, Solnyshko".
he must've hit his head REALLY hard now or what the fuck is ilya playing at with all these russian fucking endearments? Cliff thinks.
"New York?? And brother, what the hell, shut up. Stop being so fucking weird, man. What the fuck?"
"Malysh? I am very concerned." "The doctor did mention this earlier. That you would be confused, Da? You would not remember some things."
"The doctor? Why would the doctor discuss this with you and not coach? And where is he anyway?"
"Daragoj, what do you not remember?"
"What year do you think we are in?" The other man is looking very concerned and brows furrowed almost reaching each other in his forehead.
"2017? First game with montreal after the all star games." Cliff answered.
"Oh no. No, we are not in 2017 anymore my Kotyonok. Oh my Dorogoj. It is already 2026." That was the first non-lie ilya has told cliff right now
"and we are married, my Solnyshko." The russian man says as he places his thumb against the other player's temple.
Cliff almost had a whiplash hearing that.
"What the fuck are you talking about Roz?"
-
-
-
Just minutes before the previous scene unfolded.
When Cliff actually first waken up in the hospital room looking very loopy.
"Roza~~ Cap, my wingmaaan. C'mere brother." The man laying on the hospital bed says gleefully, reaching out his other uninjured arm over to the Russian phenom.
Ilya rozanov, walking over next to the hospital bed, as the freckled asian man closes the door behind him before following right behind him.
"Good to see you awake brother." "And for the record. I am center, you were my wing. And I haven't been your Captain for years Marleau."
Marleau furrows his thick brows together while raising his right one with the tape covering a stitch. "What are YOU doing here Hollander." "Wait, huh? Why am I the one laying here? It should be you, Hollander."
"Excuse me?" The two visitor says simultaneously.
"Yeah I knocked YOU out last night, hollander. WaiTT" Cliff says emphasizing the last syllable.
"Oh my God, ROZ. DID I KILL HOLLANDER? OH MY GODDD NO IM TOO YOUNG TO GO TO JAIL. WAIT, HE'S TOO YOUNG TOO. OH GOD ROZ FORGIVE ME. I KNOW YOU HAVE A THING FOR HOLLANDER PLEASE DON'T KILL ME. SHIT IS THIS WHY I AM IN THE HOSPITAL? OH MY GOD ROZ PLEASE DON'T FINISH ME PLEASE, BROTHER. BELIEVE ME I NEVER MEANT IT GOD, YOU KNOW ME ROZ, I WOULD NEVER DO THAT. HOLLANDER PLEASE FORGIVE ME MAN. DON'T TAKE ME WITH YOU I'M TOO YOUNG." The man straight up sobbing now.
The other two looks at each other, before looking back at cliff again.
Ilya looks back at Shane again, now with a knowingly amused grin.
"Ilya.."
"Heh. Hehe."
"Ilya. That's a poor man.
"What? I'm doing nothing"
"Not yet, you're not."
Ilya grins looking back at Cliff who's sobbing is now slowing down, and very obviously drifting back to sleep with the pain meds still working inside his system.
"You are such a dick."
"What? How dare he think I have a thing for you? We have thing for each other, for his information."
"He's high as a kite, Ilya."
"It'll be fun, Malysh. Just watch"
"Ugh fine." The man rolls his eyes
The two finishes their conversation and Shane hides behind the curtain on the other bed beside Cliff's. Waiting to see what his menace of a husband has in mind.
The next moment is what unfolded previously
.
-
-
-
Back to the present.
Cliff crossed his arms.
"No."
"No?" Ilya echoed.
"No. I don't believe you."
Ilya nodded thoughtfully, as though Cliff had merely disagreed about the weather.
"Fair."
"So prove it."
"I have been."
"No, you've been lying."
"Mhm."
Cliff pointed an accusing finger.
"You've always been a terrible liar."
"I know."
"So you're lying now."
"..."
"..."
"...Or perhaps," Ilya said carefully, "I became better after 4 years of our marriage, Solnyshko."
Cliff narrowed his eyes.
"If we're supposedly married..."
"We are."
"...then tell me something only I'd do."
Ilya smiled.
"You steal blankets."
"I don't."
"You become burrito."
"I don't become a—"
"You cocoon yourself."
"No."
"You leave exactly one foot sticking out. So that 'the monsters cannot get both feet at once.'"
Silence.
Cliff blinked.
"I was eight."
"You still do it."
"I DO NOT."
"You did three nights ago."
"I WASN'T THERE THREE NIGHTS AGO."
"You were."
"I WASN'T."
"You kicked me."
"..."
"..."
"...Accidentally?"
Ilya's smile widened.
"Very accidentally."
Cliff rubbed his face.
"This is insane."
"Mhm. Malysh"
"Don't Malysh me. This is actually insane."
"You expect me to believe that somehow we got married."
"Yes."
"And live together."
"Yes."
"And share a bed."
"Obviously."
"I WOULD NEVER SHARE A BED WITH YOU."
"No?"
"No."
Ilya tilted his head.
"Then why do you always complain when I wake up before you?"
"I don't."
"'Five more minutes, Babe /> "'You're warm.'"
"..."
"'Come back.'"
More guilty silence ensue.
"'Stop making coffee and cuddle me.'"
"I would never say cuddle."
"You say snuggle."
"...Shut up."
Cliff, still staring suspiciously at him, sighed.
"..."
"...If we're supposedly married..."
"Yes?"
"...don't get used to this."
He awkwardly reached out and gave Ilya's sleeve a single, uncertain tug.
"...You can... stand closer, I guess."
Ilya looked down at the hand gripping his sleeve.
His heart nearly burst from trying not to laugh.
"Of course, Malysh."
Cliff didn't even protest the endearment this time. He just huffed, looking faintly embarrassed, while Shane silently mourned the poor soul who had fallen directly into the world's most committed prank.
Cliff sat quietly for a while.
The room had become strangely peaceful.
Too peaceful, considering that ten minutes ago he had been convinced he was going to prison for murdering Shane Hollander.
He let go of Ilya. And gave a deep sigh.
"...So we're really married."
Ilya nodded.
"Da."
"And we've been married for..."
"Four years."
"Four."
"Yes."
Cliff stared at the ceiling.
"...That's a long time."
"It is."
"And you haven't gotten sick of me?"
Ilya smiled.
"Sometimes."
"Hey."
"But I always come back."
Cliff looked up at him. With adoring eyes.
"...Why?"
"Because I love you."
Cliff's expression changed.
Just slightly.
He looked away.
"...You say that pretty easily."
"I have had practice."
"Right."
A few seconds passed.
"...Do I say it?"
Ilya's smile softened.
"Sometimes."
"Sometimes?"
"You are not very good with words."
"I knew it."
"But you show it."
Cliff looked back at him.
"How?"
"You bring me things."
"Like what?"
"Food."
"I bring everyone food."
"You remember exactly how I like my coffee."
"...I do?"
"Even when you complain that I am too particular."
Cliff frowned.
"...I would do that."
"You steal things from my plate."
"I definitely do that."
"You leave your clothes everywhere."
"Okay, that's just universal."
"You also sleep on my side of the bed."
Cliff looked offended.
"I would never."
"You say the bed is too cold on your side."
"..."
"And then you steal my pillow."
"..."
"And my blanket."
"..."
"...And sometimes me."
Cliff's mouth twitched.
"I sound like a terrible husband."
"You are a terrible husband."
"Wow."
"But you are my terrible husband."
Cliff laughed quietly.
"...That's disgustingly sweet."
"I know."
---
Cliff's smile slowly faded.
He looked down at their hands.
"...Can I ask you something else?"
"Of course."
"Before..."
He paused.
"Before all this."
Ilya waited.
"...Was I ever..."
Cliff struggled to find the words.
"...different with you?"
Ilya considered it.
"Yes."
"How?"
"You trusted me."
Cliff looked at him.
"I trust you now."
"I know."
"But you mean..."
"You trusted me before you knew why."
"..."
"You would tell me things you would not tell anyone else."
Cliff swallowed.
"Like what?"
"Things you were afraid of."
"I don't get afraid."
Ilya raised an eyebrow.
Cliff sighed.
"...Okay. Sometimes."
"You hated being alone after bad games."
"..."
"You pretended you wanted space. But you would always find me eventually."
Cliff looked away.
"...That's weird."
"You would sit beside me. And sometimes you would not say anything. You just wanted someone there."
Cliff was quiet.
Then, very softly—
"...That sounds like me."
"I know."
---
Something in Cliff's expression had changed.
The panic wasn't completely gone.
Neither was the disbelief.
But there was something else now.
Something softer.
He looked at Ilya for a long moment.
"...Were you good to me?"
Ilya's eyebrows drew together.
"Always."
"Even when I was an asshole?"
"Especially then."
Cliff laughed under his breath.
"...I think..."
He hesitated.
"...I think I understand."
Ilya waited.
"I don't remember being married to you."
"I know."
"But..."
Cliff swallowed.
"...I can understand why I would be."
Ilya's expression softened.
Cliff continued before he could stop himself.
"You've always been..."
He paused.
"...my person."
Ilya's eyes widened slightly.
"Your person?"
"Don't make it weird."
"I am not."
"You are making a face."
"I am listening."
Cliff looked down again.
"...You're the person I look for. When something happens. Whether good or bad."
Cliff gave a helpless little shrug.
"...I guess I've always had some kind of..."
He frowned.
"...weird feelings about you." Ilya's heart nearly stopped.
"Weird?"
"Yeah."
"What kind?"
"I don't know."
Cliff laughed awkwardly.
"That's the problem."
He rubbed the back of his neck.
"I've never really thought about it."
"..."
"I just..."
He looked at Ilya.
"...Like being around you."
Ilya smiled.
"I know."
"And I like when you..."
Cliff stopped.
"..." "..."
"When I what?"
Cliff's ears turned red.
"Nothing."
"Tell me."
"No."
"Cliff."
"No."
"You started."
"I changed my mind."
Ilya smiled.
"You are blushing."
"Shut up."
"You are."
"I got hit in the head."
"Mhm."
"..." "..."
Cliff looked away.
"...I like when you hug me."
Ilya's expression immediately softened.
"Do you?"
"...Apparently."
"Would you like one now?"
Cliff hesitated.
His pride clearly fought a losing battle with whatever strange comfort had settled over him.
"...Yeah." Ilya stood and gently leaned down.
He wrapped his arms around Cliff.
This time, Cliff didn't stiffen.
He immediately relaxed into him.
His arms slowly came around Ilya's waist.
His cheek settled against the Russian's shoulder.
"..." "..."
"...This really does feel familiar."
Ilya closed his eyes.
"I know."
Cliff sighed.
"...Maybe I really did love you."
Behind the privacy curtain, Shane's eyes widened.
Oh, absolutely not.
He had been enjoying this.
He had been trying not to laugh for nearly half an hour.
He had watched Cliff panic.
He had watched Cliff threaten murder.
He had watched Cliff accuse Ilya of having a secret affair with him.
He had watched Cliff slowly become convinced that he and Ilya had somehow spent almost half a decade married.
And now—
Now Cliff was cuddling into Ilya like a sleepy cat and preparing to emotionally confess to HIS own best friend.
Shane couldn't let this go any further.
He stepped out from behind the curtain.
"Okay."
Cliff froze.
Ilya froze.
Shane crossed his arms.
"That's enough."
Cliff slowly lifted his head from Ilya's shoulder.
His eyes widened.
"...Hollander?"
Shane's lips were already twitching.
Cliff looked at him.
Then at Ilya.
Then back at Shane.
"...How long have you been there?"
Shane lasted approximately two seconds.
Then he completely lost it.
He doubled over laughing.
"Oh my God."
Cliff's face slowly drained of color.
"You—"
Shane could barely speak.
"You were actually starting to believe him!"
"I—"
"You hugged him!"
"Shut up."
"You asked him if he was good to you!"
"Shut UP."
"You said he was your person!"
"HOLLANDER!!."
"And then—"
Shane wiped his eyes.
"You said you might actually love him!"
Cliff stared at him in horror.
"I didn't say that!"
Then he slowly turned toward Ilya.
Ilya was biting his lip so hard he was practically shaking. "..." "..."
Cliff's eyes narrowed.
"...You knew."
Ilya finally cracked.
He burst out laughing.
Cliff dropped his face into his hands.
"Oh my God."
Shane was laughing harder now.
"I haven't laughed this hard in years."
"I'm going to kill both of you." "You already tried to kill me," Shane managed between laughs.
"THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT AND YOU KNOW IT!"
"And apparently in love with your best friend."
"OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE."
Ilya was practically wheezing now.
Cliff glared at him with his eyes without looking up.
"Don't you dare call me Malysh."
Ilya caught his breath.
"...Malysh."
Cliff grabbed the nearest pillow.
"YOU'RE DEAD." Cliff then started throwing any item he could reach towards his fucking evil friend. He even accidentally threw the hospital TV remote control to which accidentally openned it. A few minutes later walked in tiny female asian nurse and screamed at them for opening the TV after clear instructions that the patient cannot look at screens because of his concussion. That seemed to settle the ruckus between the three idiots.
Shane immediately started laughing again.
"See? That's the Cliff I know."