Chapter Text
December 12, 2015 - Jude
The cool autumn breeze brushes against Jude’s face as he walks on a plain concrete path towards the place of doom. Strength High School. Or what Jude likes to call it, the arena of death- fight your way up the social hierarchy and maybe, just maybe, you’d be spared from the hands of your bullies. Luckily, he wasn’t as subject to that sort of thing as much as last year, Freshman year.
God, it was genuinely hell, he thought. Now, about a few weeks into Sophomore year, people tended to care less. Jude was just some loser wearing a purple Bonnie hoodie.
He kept walking, still feeling the hazy curtain of what getting only 3 hours of sleep does to you. Little crusts line the inner corners of his eyes and he wipes them off, feeling the touch of the cold air.
He exhales. His breath remains in the air momentarily, pausing for a small tick of time before melting into the rest of the white sky. A sudden breeze sent chills down his spine, making him pull his dark red scarf just a bit tighter. He walked faster- better get there before I freeze to death.
He passes the wilting trees and snow covered houses, ice coated them like frosted cupcakes. The sky starts to emit flakes of snow, yet again. Slick ice coats the ground, a threat of humiliation and maybe fun hangs over it. Birds chirp in the background.
Jude finally makes it to the treacherous school, booking it to his first class and steeping inside in the nick of time. He slows his breath down as to quiet himself and carefully sits in the back corner of the classroom.
A generic room, if anything. Popcorn ceilings and stone walls, with a 90s red, brown and dark blue colored rug. Not a surprise it was like this, this school hadn’t been renovated in quite some time. The classroom ranks of melted ice, cold sweat, and deodorant. He inhales through his nose to slow down his pulse, and rests his arms on his desk.
Most of the time when they had a test, Jude would often use his…techniques. Despite being quite an unpopular person, he had amassed a reputation. Straight A’s, every single class- and not a single second of studying. Well maybe some, if you count the time he hacked the computer systems and memorized all the answers.
However, there was someone that just got in the way of this, almost every time. Luckily, Jude was smart enough to know how to evade this- it didn’t take much really.
Sharpness- also known as Sharp for short, was a constant pain in Jude’s fucking ass. Every time there was a test, Sharp would copy off someone (who clearly didn’t study the material in some shape or form) and completely ruin the average- bringing his grade down. Nobody really expected any high for, education from a certified jock like Sharp.
At the end of the day, Jude didn’t really care that much about his grades, but his parents did. As much as he wanted to just slack off and give up on school, his parents were constantly on his ass about his GPA and grade averages. Like he had stated before though, he knew how to evade it- using the same procedure as before, he logged back into the system and changed the class average to an 100%. You might have wondered, why didn’t he just do this with all of his grades?
Well, the system would obviously catch him if he did, and it was easier to change the whole overall grade than just his own- that’s basically just trapping the trapper! And of course, it was benefiting the class, so in turn, nobody snitched, miraculously.
Unfortunately, he did in fact have every single class with Sharpness, meaning he had to do this for each and every test, pop quiz, or assignment that Sharp would fail. Hence his 3-hour sleep schedule.
Maybe he didn’t mind that he was helping Sharp a bit- back in Freshman year when Jude used to get a little more bullied than now, before his reputation, there was one specific day.
It was a Friday. “Freshman Friday” as they liked to call it. Jude was being pushed against a locker, the amusement eminating from his bullies’ continual laughs as they slapped him around like a rag doll. He felt so helpless. Out of the corner of his eye, a figure approached. To be honest, Jude couldn’t really see that well due to a major black eye on his right side.
He vaguely remembers one of the bullies’ figures being anchored down to the side, a seemingly huge impact hitting his face as he landed on his side. No surprise due to Sharp’s sharp (rather ironic) psychique from his constant sports like football. The other goons backed off slightly, and walked away faster as the main one looked up almost comically with a ring of stars around his head.
“You need some help?” Sharp’s voice echoed into his ringing ears.
Jude took that hand and remembers being led to a bathroom and left there, back against the smooth tile. Maybe he was there for a while, maybe only a minute or two. A janitor woke him up from his nap (that he hadn’t known he was taking), and Jude remembers leaving the building feelings puffy and anxious, dreading going home.
It was sunset when he finally arrived back to his house, dropping his bag off on the ground and going to the kitchen to get an ice pack. After that it started to get a bit hazy, maybe he had slept? Fallen asleep on the ground? Who knows.
“Nobody came to check up on me, huh. Only child benefits, I guess.”
So in turn, he owed it back to Sharp. Even if he was a little bit of a dumbass sometimes.
“Jude? Jude! Hello??” His friend Parker nudged him hard in his shoulder, causing him to bolt up.
“What?” He exclaimed, a little louder than he’d wanted.
“Dude, you’ve totally been zoning out for like 10 minutes! You didn’t even notice when I came in…have you been getting enough sleep?” Parker questioned, “Oh shit. You’ve been doing the thing again, haven’t you.”
Jude paused- why did he tell Parker about his whole scheme anyways…
“When have I ever stopped,” Jude muttered, causing Parker to raise his eyebrows.
“Oh my god bro. What’s your problem?? You never want to hang out anymore, you actually have some sort of obsession or something, all you care about is your stupid grades and Shar-“
“Look it doesn’t even matter okay! I already told you about the grades! It literally doesn’t even matter what I do, I need to be perfect at this. There’s nothing else for me to do, Parker. Do you understand?” Jude spit back, irritated.
He had a bit of a bad temper, even to the people that mattered the most to him.
“Oh, but you can talk about Sharp, too! Whatever man. Where did the old you go.” Parker sighed and focused back onto the lesson. Jude followed his actions and tried to lock in on whatever was left of the class.
In the corner of his vision, a blonde head of hair laughed with a few of his friends, disrupting the slightly quiet class. The teacher paid no mind, continuing to speak. Jude gazed a little more intently at Sharp and his buddies- where did that sort of thing go wrong with him and Parker? Was it his fault?
Jude thought about what his friend had said- he never really talked about Sharp that much, right? Through the rest of the school day, Parker’s comments lingered in the back of his mind.
“I miss the old you.”
“You only want to talk about Sharp-“
Did he? Was he just some deranged freak with a weird gay ass crush of Sharpness, one of the most popular, social butterfly people in the school? How stereotypical would that be- a loser having a crush on a jock. Jude was different, he wasn’t stupid like that.
The rest of the humiliating Monday passed on a whim and Jude finally began his trek back home- the place he possibly dreaded the most. Half of the time, no family member was home, making him responsible for making his own meals, paying for groceries and other various responsibilities. And when they were home, it wasn’t pleasant. His dad was chronically absent and his mother was an alcoholic- not the greatest combination deemed.
The sun lay fat on the horizon, brushing a soft starting sunset on the canvas sky.
It looks pretty nice, Jude thought, it was better to cherish the small things.
He gently opened the door to his house, being careful not to spook anyone currently inside. Surprisingly, in the 90s themed living room, his mom sat facing away from the doorway, menacingly, shading her facial expression from Jude. A single couch chair faced across from her. He breathed in.
She whipped her head towards the creaking of Jude’s footsteps.
His mother spoke first,
“Sit.”
He obediently perched on the edge of the couch, stiffening his spine.
“I found something.” She said.
In her hand, was a grid patterned paper, torn at the edges slightly and folded into an ugly quarter. Jude knew what it was- and honestly, he had no idea of why he hadn’t thrown that curse away. It was against everything he thought he was- someone proud to be independent and strong-willed, not a sensitive little boy who longed for the company of someone. Anyone.
“Do you know what this is, Jude?” Her mother said, quietly- rather frightening, considering it seemed like she was drunk.
He did not move.
“It’s a fucking poem Jude. What are you, 5 years old?” She raised her voice slightly. He could feel her hot breath warming onto him, almost the same as those bullies a year ago.
He continued to stay like a statue. Unmoving.
“You little shit, this is about you, and another boy? Do you think I’ll let you get away with this?” She suddenly stood up, unraveling the note to show some poorly written handwriting and an even more dogshit drawing of Jude and a certain someone holding hands. A pink heart between the stick figures stared down at him, mockingly.
“I-“ His voice cut off, shame, embarrassment and anger clouding his system. He already felt the beginning of hot tears running down his face, and a vine of metal wrapping around his throat.
You want to go to hell, boy? This is a disgrace. This is fuckin disgustin.”
He stammered for something to say, anything.
“Get the fuck out. And don’t come back you little fag.” Her words were final.
He sat blankly, staring at his mother. Called a fag, by his own parent. He was a disgrace. He didn’t deserve this.
They sat in silence for just a moment longer before Jude quickly grabbed his bag and sprinted to his room. Unthinking, he began shoving items into his bag. A change of clothes, his iPod, a few sentimental Minecraft trinkets, and a few toiletries. Dots of salty tears landed across various surfaces.
On an act of pure survival, Jude waited for a minute or so before his mother had left the living room, and booked it.
It was starting to get dark quickly, and he started regretting not bringing a flashlight with him. Jude tried to think about anything but the conversation that had just occurred, if it even counted as one- more of a verbal beating.
He brushed away the tears from his eyes and could already feel the beginning of red bloating. For a while he cried, walking mindlessly. Eventually, he fixed himself just enough to form a couple coherent thoughts.
Where would he go? Realistically there was only one place. Struggling to remember the directions, (but managing), Jude set off.
***
Jude knocked on the brightly colored wooden door, hearing chaos from the other side. Parker had a few siblings, and whenever he used to hang out at his house, there was never a lack of sound to be heard. A harsh contrast to Jude’s abode- our past home, you could say.
After a few more desperate knocks, a windswept Parker finally opened to door.
“Uh, thanks for the delivery, man, here’s your mone- JUDE??” Parker laughed ecstaticly, “Holy shit! I can’t believe you’re really here! Well, what’s up man?”
Seems like he had forgot about their small argument prior, Jude wasn’t complaining though.
His voice was a bit more crackly and tired then he wanted it to sound, “Yo…sorry to spring this up on you, but could I stay the night? Please, I really need this dude.” Jude put on his most pleasing tone.
“Oh shit. Uhm. Ok, I think we might be able to squeeze you in in the basement?” Parker winced.
“That’s alright, yeah, I honestly don’t care,” Jude sighed, the weight of today’s events weighing down on him.
Parker seemed to notice Jude’s quieter demeanor, but didn’t question it. Parker led Jude down what felt like an endless flight of stairs, and into a standard basement. Wooden walls, tiled floors and wood roof. A cheap fan hung from the ceiling, the bulb casting a warm, hazy glow over the space- just making it more alluring for Jude to fall asleep.
“Well, here you go. There also might be like one more person down here right now? My family’s pretty big and we have a transfer student here right now- we’ve been swapping bedrooms a bit since I think he just got here like an hour or so ago? I haven’t met him yet but-“ Parker stopped, “Sorry, I’m rambling. Uh, goodnight,”
Jude was tired- that’s an understatement, he was mindfucked. All he wanted to do was to go to bed, but unfortunately he failed to notice the other twin mattress on the left side of his, smooshed into a corner.
Jude flopped onto the shitty mat on his back and dropped his bag on the cold ground. Just when he felt like he was finally going to doze off, a creak woke him up. On the basement stairs, out emerged a kid- someone his age, with long blonde hair, a sculpted face, and big green doe eyes.
Who…is that……… Jude thought in his fatigued dazed.
HOLY SHIT.
“Hello?” a heavy accented guy's voice echoed in the small room- his face gradually started to get redder.
“Hi.” Jude stammered back. He couldn’t believe it.
He was sharing a room with Sharpness.
***