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Tony Stark has never been so offended in his life, which is saying a lot. He's been betrayed more times that he could count, and Tony's real damn good at counting.
But none of those betrayals have been as bad as this.
Steve had come by earlier today to ask if Tony can join him for… some mission or another. Honestly, Tony's already forgotten. Of course, Tony couldn't join him anyways. Him and Clint's anniversary is coming up this weekend. One whole year. Tony hasn't had that relationship last that long in… more time than he'd like to admit.
And as it turns out he still hasn't. Because Steve had told him that Clint said he couldn't come on the mission on account of "hanging out" with Tony. Hanging out. Like they're fucking bros.
So, of course, Tony had to get another point of view on the situation. That point of view being one Kate Bishop. He's been talking to her more since he and Clint started apparently-not-dating. If anyone knows what Clint thinks, and doesn't completely terrify Tony, it would be her.
Well according to Kate, Clint has never once mentioned them dating. He even refers to them as friends every time Kate asks. Which even Kate thought was fucking weird, because it is. Because he's bought her fucking breakfast after he stayed the night at Clint's apartment. Multiple times.
Now Tony's knocking on Clint's apartment door.
The door opens on the third knock. Clint's already frowning when he peeks out.. which is deserved, considering it's probably around midnight.
"Hi, Cupid," Tony says. He makes sure to as well, just in case Clint doesn't have his hearing aids on.
"Hey," Clint replies. "It's early, whatta ya doin' here?"
"I have a bone to pick with you."
"Mm… Want coffee?"
"Sure."
Clint nods, stepping away from the door and into the kitchen. Tony follows behind him, making sure to shut and lock the door before taking a seat at the kitchen island.
"You can hear me?"
"Yeah," Clint waves vaguely with the hand that's not juggling his coffee pot. "Just talk."
"Okay, well, the other day Steve came over and asked me to join him on some expidition, right?" Clint hums as he finally starts the pot. "And he told me that you told him you were, quote, hanging out with me this weekend."
"Oh.." Clint blinks, sitting on the island across from Tony now. "Did we cancel or something? I didn't get a message."
"Hanging out?" Tony repeats.
"I'm… not picking up what you're putting down, Ton'."
Tony sighs. Maybe Clint's just tired, Tony did wake him up in the middle of the night. He's a dumbass, sure, but he's not usually this fucking oblivious. Or oblivious at all, actually. Despite what he tries to claim, he's really not that stupid.
"Kate said we're friends."
"We are."
"Are you… are you serious right now?"
"Should I not be?"
"I mean, we've been doing this for eleven months," Tony says, voice raising a little. He immediately lowers it again. "Almost a fucking year."
"Doing what?"
"This."
"This being….?"
"We go out once a week. I sleep in your bed more often than my own at this point. My name is in your dog's emergency contacts."
"Okay," Clint replies, shrugging. "That's not dating."
"What the hell do you think dating is?"
"I dunno, asking somebody out."
Tony's mouth opens, then closes. Is he serious right now? "I—You mean I was supposed to ask?"
"Duh. That's usually how it goes."
"You've been inside me."
"That's not the argument you think it is coming from you."
Tony rolls his eyes. "Fine. Clint Barton, will you be my boyfriend?"
"Yes, Tony Stark, I will."
If it werent for the fact Tony spent the last two days spiraling over this, he would be embarrassed by the absolute joy that filled him at Clint's words. "Good," he says. "We're going out on Sunday."
"Okay," Clint shrugs again, getting up as the coffee machine dings. "I'm not gonna complain about that."
"Okay. Great. I'm glad."