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Loki hated waking up early. Especially this early. Their alarm hadn’t even gone off, but something was itching at the back of their brain. Something.. crying. Crying out for them. Crying out for anyone.
The room was dark, bed empty and apartment almost silent. Almost. There was a faint scratching noise. In the darkness Loki made out a small, brown figure desperately clawing at the bathroom door.
“Alright, binks.” They sighed, gliding over to the desperate creature. “Settle down. I’m sure your daddy’s just.. I don’t know, urinating.” But the dog didn’t settle, shoving her nose under the door before whining loudly and clawing more. Loki sighed and rolled their eyes dramatically.
“Banner, your mutt is acting up.” They knocked firmly on the door. But the only response was more crying. “Banner? If you don’t open this door I’ll open it myself.” It was as if Bruce didn’t even know they were there.. and the idea of that angered them more. With one swift hand movement the door was gone, pulled off its hinges and tossed to the side, and the two entered.
Bruce was curled up on the floor, sobbing frantically. His arms were covered in dozens of scratches and he rested his head in his hands. The dog, known to Bruce as Jamjar, bolted over to try get onto him (for some reason Loki couldn’t fathom). But this only sparked a violent reaction. Bruce screamed suddenly and booted the dog in the face, causing her to yelp and bolt behind the still confused Loki.
Now this wasn’t normal Bruce behaviour.
Bruce cherished this dog with his life. She was his service dog after all, at least hats all Loki had heard. They didn’t know what “services” the dog provided, but they did know Hulk had come out numerous times to protect her.
“Bruce.” Loki lowered themselves to the floor, approaching slowly. “Try to relax, please.”
“St-stay away.. stay away from me!” Bruce stammered as his head shot up, nails digging deeper into the flesh on his arms. “I’m- I’m a monster- stay away!!” His voice burned and choked as if he’d been crying for hours. This only pushed Loki onward.
“Who made this claim?” They asked, taking another small step closer. They scanned Bruce’s face cautiously, taking notes of everything wrong. His eyes were cloudy, the pupils absolutely tiny. His skin was sheet white and his blood dripped thickly as if he hadn’t drank in a while. Is this what the mortals called a manic episode? Loki had been warned by the other avengers numerous times about this, moments where Bruce would wake from a nightmare in a delusional yet completely deranged state. Yet none of them knew how to deal with this, they were only ever told to leave Bruce to his demons. Even Steve, the man arguably closest to Bruce in this whole team, fell short when it came to calming him down.
“Who called you a monster?” They repeated slowly. “Please, do tell me, so I may speak to then myself.”
“M-my.. my.. my dad.. he.. he called me..” Bruce stammered, body shaking so violently it shook the sink behind him, “he said.. he said I’m..”
“Is he here? With us?” The question seemed to stun Bruce for a moment, his breathing became deeper as he thought. “Is he in this room, telling you this?” Loki didn’t know if this would work. They braced themselves, prepared for Hulk to appear any second now. But there was no green on Bruce anywhere. Hulk was oddly absent.. maybe on purpose.
“N-no he.. he..” he couldn’t finish the sentence. It hurt to think about. Everything hurt to think about. He wanted to rip his brain in half. “But- But he thinks- I know he does- I just- I want it all to stop! Please! I just want everything to-“
“Hey.” Loki abruptly spoke up, finally standing just in front of Bruce, “listen to me. You are no monster. I promise you. I will stop the pain myself, if I have to.” The line felt cheesy but Bruce’s face did soften a bit. Maybe that was the key to his heart. Maybe.
“B-but I.. I will hurt you.. I will..” He didnt sound angry anymore, just lost. Lost and confused and hurting.. Like a child who had just witnessed their family tear apart. Loki barely knew of Bruce’s past, its something they didn't want to know. Something they knew if they did would potentially ruin everything the two had built up. Bruce carried too much guilt, too much grief.. grief he didnt deserve.
“Are you hurting me right now?” Loki’s hand moved slowly, methodically, gently taking Bruce’s chin and pulling it forward. Bruce didn’t resist. His brain was slowly coming back to reality. “You’re okay, Bruce. You’re safe. You’re with me. And id never let that man hurt you.”
Right on cue, as Bruce seemed to relax, Jamjar nuzzled her way between the two and rested her whole body against Bruce’s chest. Loki stared in disbelief, part of them wanted to pull this stupid dog off so he could finish soothing the man he loved so dearly.. But Bruce seemed calmer. His breathing softened and his eyes gently cleared up.
Loki chose to sit on the floor beside the two. It wasn’t as if they were moving anytime soon.
It was 11am when Bruce finally got up. His body ached as if hulk had been doing exercising all night and his throat felt like a thousand knives. Just getting out of bed was difficult.
“Good morning.” Loki hummed as Bruce shuffled into the main quarters of his room, “you slept well.”
“I don’t feel like it..” Bruce groaned as he plopped himself down on a small kitchen chair, I feel like my body’s been through a hulk episode.. it hasn’t right?” Jam ran to his side the moment she heard Hulk and nuzzled her nose into his hand, sniffing aggressively to check foe any signs. Once she discovered there were none she went back to her playful self.
“No, my dear. You had what the mortals describe as a complete breakdown last night and I had to comfort you.” Loki’s smile was almost devilish, making Bruce’s heart sink. “I stayed with you until you were asleep, then moved you to bed. But by then the sun was coming up and I decided to be a tad productive.”
“I- what- I-“ Bruce stammered, but he was stopped by Loki giving him a gentle head pat as they walked by.
“Please, do not worry yourself with repaying me. Sharing this space is more than enough. Besides, I had chose to mess with Stark. I took a needle to his clothing.. Just as you had suggested in your little episode.”
“I wouldnt-“
“Believe me, you did.” Loki laughed as they left the room, excited to see their plan in action. All Bruce could do was sit in stunned silence as Jam sat by his feet. He felt disoriented, as if the world had gone by without him. As if he wasn’t really himself.
But at the same time he felt his heart flutter just a bit. Loki and Bruce weren’t a very affectionate couple, some would say they weren’t a couple at all, but knowing Loki had his back like that?
It made life worth living, just a bit more.