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Sua is consistent.
She goes through life like everything is a routine, like she was following a step-by-step manual laid out in front of her, always composed, always cold. She never cries, barely smiles, and even when she does, the expression is kept subdued. When Mizi first met her, she had thought Sua was like ice in a snowstorm, standing her ground despite her gentle exterior.
All that is to say, though, is that Mizi quickly learns what she needs to do to pull certain reactions from Sua.
It's almost too easy. If Mizi smiles and hugs Sua, Sua will smile and hug back. If Mizi brings their foreheads together, Sua's cheeks will redden and her eyes will avert.
If Mizi whispers into Sua's ear, I love you, Sua will most certainly return the favour.
She's not even sure what Sua wants from her, but she knows that she likes being with Sua. Mizi never has to expect the unexpected with her, and she doesn't have to remain on high-alert around her. It's like having a puppet toy that would simply go along with whatever Mizi wants, no complaints, no fights.
So when Mizi's foot slips on a particularly wet patch of dirt, when the wind rushes to her face as she tumbles off the edge of the cliff, she almost expects Sua to follow her.
Instead, her body jerks to a stop, a sharp burn wrapped around her wrist, and Mizi's lips part around a soundless gasp. Her heart pounds in her chest, but it has nothing to do with the dangerous circumstances she's found herself in. She doesn't care that there's no ground behind to catch her.
Hovering above her like a haloed angel, Sua is crying.
Mizi feels a rise of disgust lodged in the back of her throat. She's not sure who it's supposed to be directed to—Sua, for crying, or herself, for being the cause of that.
Sua tugs her back up with a burst of strength, and practically crumbles against Mizi's body, dropping to her knees. She hugs onto Mizi's legs, face pressed into her thighs, and Mizi stands before her with her arms dangling uselessly by her side.
Eventually, Mizi kneels down too, running a hand through Sua's hair. Leaning forward, she says, "I love you."
Sua's fingers clutch into the back of her clothes, crumpling the fabric.
"...I love you too," she manages after an achingly long silence.
Mizi nearly laughs. Even after she's unkindly brought Sua to this state, Sua is still so predictable.
The sting on her palm after her hand connects with Sua's cheek is immediate.
Mizi stares, uncertainty bubbling in her chest as she waits for Sua's reaction. Despite the hair curtained over her face, Mizi can see the briefest hints of tears gathering in the corner of her eyes. This time, she's really done it, she thinks.
Sua is finally seeing her for who she is. She's not going to be Mizi's toy any longer, to drag around and toss to the ground when she's upset. Right?
For some reason, the thought of Sua leaving her is enough to make Mizi's breath hitch. It's ridiculous, considering that she is the one who caused this whole situation in the first place, but Mizi feels warm tears spilling down her cheeks.
She flinches when Sua looks up at her and brings her into a hug.
But… Of course. If Mizi cries, Sua will set everything aside to comfort her. It's another thing about her that's just so predictable.
Selfishly, Mizi lets herself be soothed by Sua's gentle voice anyway. Even if it's undeserved, even though Sua was going to cry too.
Truly, Mizi resents it.
"Have you memorised all your lines?"
Mizi keeps her head bowed, staring at the ripples of water and Sua's bare legs entwined with hers. "Mhm."
"Even the new ones, right? The ones we discussed?"
Her fingers curl into fists under the water. She can barely see them, the bathroom being dark enough as it is.
"I know them all," Mizi mutters, and bile rises up her throat when Sua chuckles.
She knows exactly what Sua is doing. She's always known, yet she doesn't do anything to stop Sua from marching towards her inevitable death with the determination of a hardened soldier. Because she knows, like how flowers cannot survive without water, that Sua cannot survive without her.
Who is the one who made it this way? Mizi, for letting Sua become so dependent on her, or Sua, for willingly choosing her?
Even though Mizi is the one leading this dance, Sua is the one who asked to be partners.
"Good," Sua says, and a rush of desperation fills Mizi's veins.
She doesn't want Sua to go. Mizi wraps her fingers around Sua's ankles, squeezing, and she can feel the way she's trembling. A water droplet slides down from her knee, returning to the bathwater.
"I can't—" Mizi starts, choking on her words. "Maybe you should take back those lines. I'm not so familiar with them anyway, and they were yours in the first place—"
"Mizi."
Sua's hands grab onto her wrists, tugging them above the surface. Mizi is dragged towards her, her fingers brushing against her wet body, until she's made to wrap her hands around Sua's neck like a collar.
Oh.
Sua is crying again.
It's barely noticeable, especially since her hair and face are all dripping with water, but Mizi spots the fresh tears beading by the corner of her eyes and escaping when they make eye contact. Again, Mizi is the cause of Sua's tears.
"Don't say any more, okay?" Sua whispers, trying to maintain her wobbly smile. It's unsuccessful, but Mizi doesn't point it out.
"...Okay," she relents, then brings Sua forward to connect their lips.
Mizi has learned long ago that she is the cause of all of Sua's pain and tears. She hates upsetting Sua, but she seems to have some weird, innate talent for it. Perhaps she's just twisted, but Sua is the one that keeps coming back, and Mizi is too selfish to push her away.
When it's time for their competition to begin, Mizi sort of expects Sua to start crying while they're backstage. They both know what's coming, and Sua cannot live without Mizi, so surely, she's going to get stressed and break down. In fact, Mizi herself is on the verge of tears already.
Despite that, Sua remains perfectly composed throughout the day. She gets ready calmly, her movements all slow and poised. Even when she's helping Mizi zip up her dress or comb her hair, Sua gives no indication that she's afraid. They fight about it at the last second, and even then, Sua does not crumble.
Mizi realises that she's just putting on a brave face. How stupid. Later on, when they're performing, Sua's true emotions will definitely show. But for now, she wants to pretend.
Fine.
They arrive on stage to a roaring audience, hand-in-hand. Surrounded by glittering stars, with an angelic voice and a stunning dress wrapped around her figure, Sua is breathtakingly beautiful.
Just like they've practiced, they dance around each other, hands reaching for one another, though never truly touching. Mizi sings her lines as given by Sua, and Sua's sparkle seems to grow brighter with each passing note.
At long last, they arrive at the last few seconds of the song, and the inevitable arrives. Mizi followed Sua's orchestrated plan to a tee, so it should not be a surprise when a bullet flies through Sua's neck and a crimson red begins splurting from her wound.
Still, the sight is utterly horrific.
She collapses to the ground before Mizi can really commit the sight to memory, blood pooling around her lifeless frame at an alarming rate. It stains her lovely pure dress and spills across the stage. Mizi barely registers the blood that splattered onto her face either, instead dropping to her knees and struggling to breathe. The microphone slips from her hands, rolling to the side
As the lights dim and the audience erupts into a resounding applause, only one thought remains in Mizi's haunted mind:
Why were you still smiling?