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“Did you have anyone back home? Anyone who was waiting for you?” Toph asked Tagah one night, as they lay on Appa’s back watching the stars.
“Yes, I had someone,” he replied softly. “She hurt me. But I loved her.”
And I don’t know if I still do.
“Do you miss her?”
Something in Toph’s words convinced Tagah she was asking for a very personal reason. So he answered honestly.
“Of course. But…a part of me also doesn’t. She loved me, and I loved her, but she hurt me. Badly. She broke me into pieces that I don’t know will ever be pieced back together.”
“If she were still around, would you want to be around her? Would you want to see her? Would it…would it be alright if you didn’t?” Toph asked, her voice soft.
“I wouldn’t. Because despite all of the love she showed me, that pain…that pain overweighs everything else. And maybe I’ll forgive her one day, but that day’s not today. Forgiveness…it’s on on the victims’ terms, not the terms of the abuser. And all of that’s alright. And so is forgiving whoever hurt you. But it should be your choice, not something you feel pressured to do.” Tagah took a deep breath, letting the air wipe away his tears. “And forgiveness isn’t acceptance of what they’ve done. It isn’t justification. It’s…just moving on when the pain is less fresh.”
And right now, Sonam, your actions hurt like hell. The wounds you inflicted are still fresh, not healed scars.
They lay there quietly for a few moments, watching the stars pass overhead.
“Can I ask what’s this about?” Tagah asked softly.
Toph sighed, sounding so much older than her tender years. “My parents sent me a hawk-owl. They want to see me.”
“Ah.”
“It’s just…it feels so manipulative, you know? They entirely coddled me when I was a kid. They didn’t let me do jackshit just because I’m blind. They didn’t even let me learn earth-bending. I had to learn it on my own. And when I ran off with Aang…they acted as if I’d been kidnapped! They treated me like I’m a child incapable of my own decisions.”
Honestly, just from this, Tagah did not like Toph’s parents. They sounded terrible.
“And after the war, they acted as if they were so proud of me. They acted like they were the ones who were responsible for how I turned out, and the things I did, despite them literally doing nothing. Nothing at all. Hell, they even fought me doing those things. It’s just…” Toph sighed. “They take credit for my accomplishments, but they had no part in it- just like they had no part in raising me. The maids did that. The servants did that. The bending rings did that. Fuck, travelling with Aang did that. So did the war. Our house was a prison, one that they’d made, and they act like now that I’m famous that it’s okay. It isn’t.”
“So what do you want to do?”
“I don’t want to see them. I have a family, and it’s not them. They lost that chance a long time ago,” Toph told him decisively.
Tagah smiled softly at her. “Alright. I’ll support you. So will the others. We’ll follow your lead.”
Toph blinked gratefully in his direction. “Thanks, Tagah. For the advice…and for listening.”
“Anytime.”
And he meant it. He was here now, and these kids were his new family- so he was sure as hell going to take care of them.