Archive of Our Own

There were laughter and the smell of popcorn around him. A girl on his arm as they strolled through the Stark Expo. Steve was there, as well, but bulked up like after he took the serum. All of them were laughing over something stupid he said.

“Mr. Barnes?”

It felt like the future was with them now in the present. Ideas of grandeur that seemed just within reach. Howard Stark was boasting about some invention in the background. There was a billboard advertising a flying car that was sure to come in the near future.

“Mr. Barnes?”

There was a tap on his arm, the girl on his arm was waving him closer. Bucky grinned and did so. The girl on his arm leaned in close, cupping her hand around his ear.

“Mr. Barnes! Wake up!”

Bucky woke up in a rush, flesh hand already reaching for the gun he kept under his pillow. Instincts and training were taking over from the sudden awakening. It was only thanks to his brain catching up to his body that Bucky noticed that the one who had woken him up was Peter.

The teenager was hanging upside down from a web strand attached the ceiling. He was wearing a pair of Hello Kitty pajama pants and a NYC tourist shirt that looked too big on him, pooling around his chest due to his current position. Peter’s hair was wild like he had just woken up but his bright eyes said a different story.

“Oh, good, you’re awake,” Peter said cheekily.

Bucky sighed heavily and dropped his head back onto his pillow, letting go of his gun. “Christ, punk,” Bucky breathed. He turned his head to look at the clock on his bedside table. “What the hell are you doing in here? It's the middle of the night.”

“I need your help,” Peter said simply, turning slightly in the air due to hanging onto his web strand.

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Is it world ending?”

“To my sleep, yes,” Peter answered seriously.

Snorting, Bucky pulled hand out from underneath his pillow. “Why not get Stark then?” Bucky asked.

“Mrs. Stark is here and Friday said they are running noise blocking protocols for my benefit,” Peter deadpanned flatly. “You can do the math why I’m not knocking on his door.”

Shit, it was like talking to a younger version Tony and all the snark attached to him. Rolling his eyes, Bucky scooted up his bed so he was sitting up without knocking their foreheads together. “I don’t blame ya, punk,” Bucky sighed. That was also a door he would avoid knocking on while the married couple did married couple things. He ran a hand through his tangled hair. “Alright, get down from there. I’ll help ya.”

“Yippee!” Peter cheered and jumped off his web to latch onto the wall. He then climbed up it and onto the ceiling to make his way to the door.

“I have a working floor, you know,” Bucky scoffed as he threw his covers off and got out of bed. He quickly grabbed a spare hair tie on his nightstand and threw his long hair up in a messy bun at the back of his head. A few strands that escaped containment hung on either side of his face but Bucky didn’t feel like redoing his hair just for them.

Peter shrugged. “I know,” Peter snickered and crawled over the short piece of wall atop his door to leave Bucky’s room.

“Punk.” Bucky shook his head as he made his way out, swiping a shirt to pull on since he was the type to go to bed without one. He left the room and didn’t see Peter. Looking up, he noticed that Peter was still crawling on the ceiling. “You gonna come down from there?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Peter said simply, starting the short journey to his room. Peter’s room bordered the area between where the guests of the tower slept and the rooms of the Avengers when they stayed at the tower. Tony’s quarters were just past the guest area that were less for guests and more for the Parkers and Harley when they stayed over, Morgan’s room the closest to her parents’ room.

“To each their own I guess,” Bucky said. It was followed by a yawn that was so wide that his jaw cracked. “So, what am I helping you with?”

“There is a spider in my room,” Peter answered, glancing down – or up, depending on who you were talking to – at Bucky. “I need you to get rid of it.”

Bucky felt his eyebrow twitched and he slowly glanced up at Peter. “A spider…kid, you woke me up over a fuckin’ spider?”

“It’s a really big spider!” Peter whined pitifully.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Aren’t spiders your schtick?”

“Doesn’t mean I have to like them,” Peter said, nose wrinkling in disgust. “I’ve already been bitten once and that was enough for me, thank you very much.”

Well, Bucky had to guess that was fair.

The two got to Peter’s room and the teenager finally hopped off the ceiling to land on both feet lithely next to Bucky. Peter must have tried to trap the spider in the room because the door was closed. Without fear, Bucky swung the door open to the room while Peter yelped and hid behind the wall by the door.

“Alright, where is it?” Bucky sighed as he looked into Peter’s room.

Peter peeked around the doorframe and pointed at the far corner of his ceiling. “Up there.”

Bucky looked up at where Peter was pointing and then felt his mouth drop open. “…punk, that is the biggest fucking spider I have seen in my life.”

“I told you!” Peter exclaimed and hid from his room again.

Placing his hands on his hips, Bucky tried to figure out how he was going to do this. While he did not have a phobia of the creature, Bucky was as much a fan of spiders as the common person. Adding in the fact that this spider was much larger than the usual house spider, Bucky was finding himself not wanting to get quite close to it.

“…I’m getting my gun,” Bucky said and turned on his heel to do what he said.

“Mr. Barnes, nooooo,” Peter whined and grabbed the back of Bucky’s shirt. Between the teenager’s strength and sticky powers, Bucky did not get to move an inch from his spot. “Don’t kill it! Just—I don’t know, just get it out my room!”

“Punk, there is no way I’m going to carry that thing outside in my hands,” Bucky sighed exasperatedly. “It’s just a spider anyways. What’s the harm?”

“It’s still a life,” Peter pouted. Bucky looked over his shoulder at Peter. “Besides, I’m part spider, remember? Are you saying that our lives aren’t worth anything?”

Bucky’s eyebrow twitched. This kid was grinding on his patience. The longer Bucky stayed quiet, the stronger Peter’s puppy-dog eyes grew and he felt his resolve crumbling.

Inhaling and then letting it out in a rush, Bucky held his hands up in surrender. “Fine, I won’t kill it,” Bucky swore. Peter’s pleading look turned untrusting. Bucky grunted and pulled against Peter’s hand. “I told you already, I’m not going to kill it. Let me go already.”

Peter’s face brightened and he let go of Bucky, skipping back. “Yay!” Peter cheered quietly.

Sighing, Bucky entered the room while keeping his eye on the target the entire time. The closer he got to it, the more he felt goosebumps roll up his sole flesh arm. It felt like all eight of the spider’s eyes were watching every move of his.

“I think I’m going to have to scare it down,” Bucky said to himself. He cleared his throat without turning around. “Yo, kid, you got any shoes in here?”

“By the dresser,” Peter answered, hooking an arm around the doorframe to point at the piece of furniture.

Bucky spied a pair of sneakers that had definitely seen better days laying haphazardly on the ground. In fact, if Bucky peered closer at them, he could see the duct tape holding the soles together. He pointed at the shoes, looking at Peter. “Peter, if you need new shoes that bad, why don’t you tell Stark? I’m sure he would buy you all that you need.”

Peter snorted, shaking his head. “Mr. Barnes, what are you talking about? They still have plenty of life in them.”

Deadpanning, Bucky picked up the shoes and turned them around to shoe Peter the soles. “Punk, I can see the duct tape. These things are dead.”

“That’s what you think,” Peter huffed, chin up in the air. “I’m sure I can get another year’s worth out of them.”

Still holding the flat expression, Bucky pointed to the soon-to-be hole in the front where Peter’s big toe would poke out. “Peter, I grew up during the Great Depression so I know about having to make things stretch. This here,” Bucky emphasized by shaking the shoe in the air, “is dead. Tell Stark to buy you new shoes or else I will.”

“Mr. Barnes~” Peter whined, dropping his head.

Rolling his eyes, Bucky faced the spider that was thankfully still in the same spot. “I’m so throwing these out after we’re done,” Bucky whispered to himself.

“Don’t throw them out!” Peter complained. Bucky cursed silently to himself as he forgot about Peter’s enhanced hearing.

Reeling his arm back, Bucky threw the shoe at the ceiling. He missed the spider by a couple inches and the behemoth drew its limbs in closer to itself. “Dang, I missed,” Bucky said with a click of his tongue.

“Hey! You’re going to hit it!” Peter complained some more.

“Well, sorry but not all of us can crawl on walls,” Bucky snarked. Bucky grumbled to himself as he aimed the other shoe at the spider. “Freaky ass exorcist shit type power.”

Bucky threw the other shoe, somewhat closer but still missing the spider. The spy just knew that the creature was laughing at him from its high up perch. Placing his hands on his hips, Bucky glared at the spider.

“Can we this hurry up?” Peter asked, peeking in again. “I have a trig test in the morning.”

“You want to get the spider then?” Bucky scoffed. Peter remained silent and hid himself more behind the wall. “That’s what I thought.”

Bucky huffed as he thought to himself. The spider was too high up for him to get to and Peter didn’t have any future tall enough for Bucky to stand on to get it. Curse Stark and his desire for all the rooms to have high ceilings.

“You’re a spider,” Bucky said, looking to the teenager. “What would someone have to do to get you to come down?”

“Not throw shoes at me, that’s for sure,” Peter snarked.

Bucky rolled his eyes and came back out into the hallway just to flick Peter in the side of the head. “Smartass punk.”

“What’s going on here?” a new voice asked.

Bucky and Peter looked down the Avengers’ side of the hallway to see both Sam and Steve making their way over. Both men looked like they were still waking up from a rude awakening with Sam still blinking the sleep heavily from his eyes. Sam was wearing a plain T-shirt and basketball shorts while Steve was bare-chested with a pair of pajama pants with a cartoon depiction of his shield dotted all around.

“Stevie, put your tits away,” Bucky teased.

The tips of Steve’s ears grew red and he shyly covered his chest. “I wasn’t expecting to run into anyone else,” Steve grumbled.

“I have a shirt you can borrow,” Peter said helpfully. He then turned to Bucky. “Mr. Barnes, I need you to go get Mr. Rogers one of my shirts.”

“And you can’t get it because…?” Bucky asked, eyebrow twitching.

Peter scoffed and gestured his hand to the room. “You know why.”

“Is there something wrong with the kid’s room or something?” Sam asked, coming over to stand in the doorway but only carefully peering in to avoid whatever had them all out in the hallway instead of the room. It would explain the noise that had both him and Steve waking up in their separate rooms.

“There is a spider in there,” Bucky answered flatly. Peter nodded his head along vehemently next to Bucky.

“All this over a small spider?” Sam snorted.

“Nuh-uh!” Peter protested, shaking his head. He pointed into the room. “It’s a really big spider!”

“I’ll be the judge about that,” Sam snickered and peeked into the room. Steve hovered at Sam’s shoulder to also see the creature that was causing such a big fuss. Both of their eyes widened when they saw it. “Holy crap, kid, that is a giant ass spider!”

“I told you!” Peter huffed.

“How did something like that get in the tower without any of us noticing?” Steve said, his eyebrows up by his hairline in surprise.

“Probably a gift from the god in charge of the Parker family luck,” Peter grumbled to himself, rubbing at his eyes that were getting heavy with sleep again.

“Kid, you’re a spider,” Sam said, gesturing a hand into the room. “Just tell it to leave or something.”

“I’m only part spider and I can’t speak to them,” Peter corrected like a smartass. Peter wilted as he looked sheepish. “Besides, I already lost to it.”

There was a singular dial-up tone between the three older men. “Come again?” Steve asked, the one to break out their stupor first.

Peter heaved a heavy sigh and leaned against the wall opposite his room. “Spiders can be territorial, especially when they are same gender,” Peter explained. “Annnnnd, it won.”

“Peter, kid, how did you lose to a spider when you are so much bigger than it?” Sam scoffed incredulously.

“It’s so big!” Peter exclaimed as he threw his hands up in the air.

Bucky rolled his head around on his neck as he took in a calming breath. “Alright, in the future where we are invaded by giant space spiders, we can count the kid out from saving us.”

Peter shivered in disgust. “That sounds like something from my worst nightmares.”

The spider started to crawl away from its spot, shutting them all up. Its movements were slow but purposeful as it made its way to a large bundle of white stuff in the opposite corner of the ceiling. The spider tested the bundle, tapping it with its front legs.

“What the hell is that thing?” Sam asked, peering his head in more to watch the spider as it crawled into the bundle.

“No! My hammock!” Peter whined, holding his hand out towards it.

Bucky squinted his eyes at the aforementioned hammock. “Is that thing made of webs?”

“What else would it be made out of?” Peter huffed. He crossed his arms over his chest and slouched in on himself. “And now it belongs to the spider.”

Feeling brave now that the spider was in the hammock, Sam entered the room. Bucky followed in after him, somewhat used to the spider already. Steve stood in the doorway with Peter who refused to cross the threshold of his room.

“I think we know why it chose the kid’s room,” Sam said, looking up at the hammock. “It’s like those fake webs you put on bushes during Halloween time. My mom always said that those would attract real spiders.”

“Alright, I think it is safe to say that you shouldn’t hang these up anymore,” Steve said to Peter.

“But it’s so comfy,” Peter whined, leaning his head on his doorframe.

Bucky placed his hands on his hips as he looked at the spider in the web hammock. “Well, now the spider is comfy,” Bucky grunted. “How are we supposed to get it down from there now?”

Sam was also looking at the web hammock, trying to come up with an idea. He perked up as a light bulb went off in his mind. “Hey, give me your arm,” Sam said, holding his hand out to Bucky. “I have an idea.”

Bucky looked at the demanding hand and then to Sam’s face. “I’m not giving you my arm.”

“Just trust me,” Sam groaned, shaking his hand at Bucky. “What’s the worst that can happen?”

Bucky looked at the hand longer before he let out a long-suffering groan. With a few specific pressed into hidden buttons on the top of his shoulder, his metal arm disengages from his body. His other hand grabbed onto the metal forearm and pulled the arm off, handing it to Sam.

“Don’t break it,” Bucky said in a low voice to Sam. “Or I break you.”

With a grin, Sam swiped the arm from Bucky and held it up into his hands. “Noted,” Sam said.

“What are you going to do with Buck’s arm?” Steve asked, entering the room and leaving Peter out in the hallway by himself to watch them. Peter quietly climbed up the doorframe so he was a few inches off the ground.

“Throw it,” Sam snickered and hefted it up into one hand like a spear.

Bucky felt his patience growing thin. “You’re going to throw my arm at the spider?” Bucky scoffed.

“You got another idea?”

“I can throw you at it.”

“No throwing people at the spider,” Steve shot down the suggestion. Sam stuck his tongue out at Bucky like the mature adult he is. Bucky, in return, flipped Sam the bird with his flesh arm. Sam then got into position like he was going to launch the arm like a spear. “Are you sure you got this?” Steve asked, eyeing the vibranium arm. “Buck’s arm can be pretty heavy.”

“Not that different from your shield,” Sam answered. One eye was shut and his tongue sticking out in concentration. “And I’ve gotten pretty good at throwing that.”

Sam didn’t give any time to doubt him more as he full-bodily threw Bucky’s arm. Of course, throwing Captain America’s shield and Bucky’s arm were completely two different things. They all watched at the arm went too far and too much to the side to land securely in the web hammock next to the side with the hand hanging over the edge.

Peter peeked in again. “Is this a bad time to mention how strong my web formula is?”

Steve smacked a hand to his face. Bucky felt his eyebrow twitch again as he watched the spider crawl over to the arm and claim it, laying its full body over the vibranium. This was just further proof that this spider was messing with him.

“Whelp, the arm belongs to the spider now,” Peter said unhelpfully.

Bucky shot Sam a heated glare and Sam took a long stride away from him to use Steve as a human shield.

The door to Clint’s room down the hall opened and he peeked his head out. His tired eyes lit up when he saw Peter outside in the hallway peeking into his own room. “What’s going on here?” Clint asked.

Peter glanced over as Clint approached, waving tiredly. “Hey, Mr. Barton,” Peter yawned.

The archer looked in and saw the three men standing together in the middle of Peter’s room. Clint put his hearing aids in and turned the volume on so he could hear. “Aww, are you all having a party without me?” Clint pouted playfully.

“How’d you hear us out here without your hearing aids?” Steve asked.

“I felt the vibration of something hitting the wall,” Clint answered. Bucky’s heated glare intensified and Sam stepped fully hid behind Steve. “So, what’s all the fuss about?”

“That,” Bucky answered, pointing his remaining arm at the web hammock and what was in it.

Clint looked up and his eyebrows shot up when he saw the object of their attention. “Woah, that’s one of the biggest spiders I’ve ever seen and I live on a farm most of the time,” Clint said in awe.

Out in the hallway, Peter groaned loudly and banged his head against the wall. “That’s. What. I. Said.”

“What have we tried so far to get it down?” Clint asked, looking between the three men.

“Thrown some shoes at it while it was on the wall,” Bucky answered. His glare at Sam returned at full strength. “And my arm after it went in the hammock.”

“Why would you throw your arm at it? You can tell looking at the hammock that it was built to hold a lot of weight,” Clint snorted.

“Gee, I wonder,” Bucky growled. Sam tried to make himself as small as possible behind Steve.

“Why not get the kid in here to climb up and get it?” Clint asked, pointing at Peter poking in.

“No!” Peter protested loudly, hiding behind the wall again.

Bucky sighed and dragged a hand down his face. “The spiderling is scared of spiders,” Bucky explained. “It’s why he asked me to get it.”

Clint hummed as he looked at the spider again. It was slowly moving away from the arm after spreading some web strands over it to crawl to a corner. The creature was fully on display, making it an easy target.

Not having anything better to do but sleeping, Clint shrugged. “I guess I’ll give it a try,” Clint grinned as he padded over to the desk in the room. He bent down next to a vent by Peter’s desk and smacked it with his fist, popping it open. They all watched as Clint reached in to pull out a bow and a quiver of arrows.

Steve’s eyebrows pinched together in confusion while Bucky’s mouth dropped open. Sam held up a finger, silently pointing at the archery set Clint had pulled out. Peter looked in his room again and his eyes lit up.

“Barton,” Bucky started, feeling his patience being pulled even thinner.

“Yes?” Clint asked, standing up.

“Did you just pull out a whole ass bow and arrow quiver from one of Peter’s vents?”

“Yup,” Clint said simply, popping the P of the word. He then proceeded to not even try to give any context as to why it was there.

Bucky’s eyebrow twitched some more. Seeing it, Steve decided to take over before Bucky tried to throttle the archer. “Clint, why do you have that stowed in Peter’s room?” Steve asked.

“Oh, I got plenty of these babies stashed all over the tower. At least one every other room and sometimes two in a room if its big enough,” Clint laughed, pulling the quiver over his head for the sash to lay on his shoulder. “None of them are my main bow but the back-ups will do the job just fine.”

“And the reason is…” Sam trailed off, waiting for the answer.

“It doesn’t hurt to be prepared,” Clint said with a shrug. He gestured to their current situation. “Case in point.”

“Wow, he’s right,” Peter said, blinking his tired eyes in awe.

“Don’t egg him on, punk. It’s just going to make his ego inflate more,” Bucky said flatly.

Peter raised his hand like he was at school. “Mr. Barton?”

Clint pointed at Peter like he was a teacher. “Yes, the one in the hallway.”

“If I find one of your bows, can I shoot it?” Peter asked, lowering his hand and his eyes sparkling in anticipation.

“Yes,” Clint answered immediately without hesitation.

At the same time, Steve answered, “No.”

Peter wilted at Steve’s denial. In defiance, Clint leaned over in Peter’s direction and cupped his hands around his mouth. “I’ll show you how to shoot later,” Clint promised Peter with a wink and a loud whisper. All while in direct view of Steve.

Steve shot Clint a flat look. “Can’t you at least pretend to listen to me?” Steve deadpanned.

“No,” Clint chirped happily.

Looking over his shoulder, he shot a glare at Bucky who had been snickering. “I blame you for this,” Steve said.

“What’d I even do?” Bucky scoffed, waving his flesh hand in the air.

“I don’t know but I feel like you are involved.”

“Eh, that’s a good enough reason.”

“Now, let the master handle this,” Clint smirked and notched an arrow, pulling the string of his bow taunt. He released it and the arrow whistled through the air. But, by all the odds, the spider scurried away and the arrow cut through the hammock to hit empty wall instead. “What the hell?!”

“Hey, don’t kill it!” Peter protested loudly from the hallway.

“You missed,” Bucky deadpanned. If he had both arms, he would cross them over his chest.

“I can see that,” Clint ground out and notched another arrow. “I won’t miss this time.”

Another arrow went flying and, again, it missed. The spider gleefully crawled over to it and used it as an anchor point to a web it started just then. It was as if the spider was mocking them at this point.

“Damn, oh-for-two,” Sam winced, whistling low. “You’re losing your touch, Hawkeye.”

Clint cursed in another language that had Bucky snickering from the intensity of it. Steve apparently knew it and he frowned at Clint. “Language!” Steve scolded. “We have a teenager right here!”

Peter shot Steve an amused snort. “Mr. Rogers, I am in high school and I regularly stop criminals in the good ol’ NYC. I can assure you, damn and probably whatever Mr. Barton said are far from the worst thing I’ve heard.”

“I don’t know, what Clint said was pretty nasty,” Bucky snickered some more. Steve frowned further at Clint but the archer didn’t care at all.

The teenager perked up as he heard someone approaching, immediately clocking who it was based on their unique heart that thrummed with something else resting over it. Peter gave a sleepy wave of a hand and dropped his head. “Hey, Mr. Stark,” Peter yawned loudly.

“What are you all doing in there and Peter out here?” Tony asked as he appeared from around the doorframe to look in the room to see the adults in it. His clothes were rumbled and his hair at all angles. Bucky smirked to himself, knowing why Stark was in such a state.

“The kid has a giant ass spider in his room,” Clint answered grumpily.

“Okay?” Tony laughed with a scoff. “And it takes all of you to get rid of one spider?”

“Just come over here,” Bucky said, waving Tony over. Tony entered the room and when he joined the group, Bucky gestured to where the spider was clinging to a corner of the wall.

Tony looked up and his eyes widened at the sight of it. “Holy shit, that’s a huge spider,” Tony said in amazement.

“That’s what I said!” Peter groaned and dropped his head back.

Tony looked back from Peter’s outburst to the others, jerking a thumb over his shoulder to point at his protégé. “What’s with that?” Tony asked.

“Just ignore it,” Bucky said flatly.

“This has got to be another freaky spider like the one that bit the kid,” Clint grumbled as he notched another arrow. He drew it back before letting it loose. Like the two before, the spider moved out of the way before the arrow could hit the target. Clint growled and gestured a hand roughly at the spider. “See?! No normal spider could do that!”

“Legolas, stopping shooting holes into my walls,” Tony said with a click of his tongue.

“Maybe it has that feeling thing the kid has,” Bucky said in regards to the spider.

“What was that again?” Steve asked, looking up at the ceiling and narrowing his eyes as he tried to remember.

“The Peter Tingle,” Tony answered with a snort.

“It is not called that!” Peter corrected from the hallway.

Tony leaned closer to Steve. “It’s totally called that,” Tony whispered conspiratorially to Steve.

“Mr. Staaaaaaark,” Peter complained, dragging out the name. “Can you help them get the spider? I want to go back to bed.”

“Of course, I can help,” Tony said, scoffing. “Why didn’t you just come to me for help?”

“I think we both know why,” Peter deadpanned, only looking in the room with one eye.

Tony furrowed his brow in thought, trying to guess why. Bucky could see that as smart as Tony was, the genius wasn’t going to get it. He elbowed Tony lightly in the side. “The kid knows you and Pepper were trying to make him another sibling,” Bucky whispered to Tony.

To his credit, Tony’s blush of embarrassment didn’t take over his entire face. Instead, he cleared his throat confidently and ran a hand through his hair to smooth it down. “I see…” Tony trailed off.

Steve placed his hands on his hips as he took a tentative step closer to where the spider now was. Thanks to Clint’s arrows, it was now at least out of the hammock and back into empty wall. That was the most progress they’ve had the entire time.

Steve turned towards the cowering Peter that has stayed out in the hallway the entire time. “Are you sure you can’t try and get it down?” Steve asked Peter weakly.

“No way!” Peter protested strongly, brows pinched so closely together that they were practically touching. He hid his body more behind the doorframe. “What if it bites me?!”

“Punk, I don’t think it’s going to want to bite you,” Bucky sighed.

“I don’t have a good track record with spiders! It’s totally going to bite me just because the universe hates me!”

“Eh, he’s got you there,” Tony said with a shrug. As the teenage superhero’s mentor, he had seen firsthand just how much the universe was out to get him.

“If I get bit again and turn into some type of spider monster thing, I’m going to make it all of your problems!” Peter threatened.

“Alright, let’s not stress the spider we actually want to keep around out too much,” Tony joked, though he was still plenty serious. “I’m sure we can figure out something between the five of us.”

“And how do you suppose we do that?” Clint scoffed, pointing an unnotched arrowed at the spider perched on the wall without a care in the world.

“What about using grandpa’s shield?” Tony offered up.

“And who is going to scoot that thing on it?” Sam scoffed. “Because it sure ain’t gonna be me.”

“I’ve only got one working arm – thanks to a certain someone,” Bucky said, side-eyeing Sam harshly, “so it won’t be me.”

“I ain’t touching that thing,” Sam grimaced, wrinkling his nose.

“What? You scared of a little spider?” Bucky taunted.

Sam pointed up at the spider like Clint did a moment earlier. “In what world is that thing little?!”

“What if we got the Hulk to smash it?” Clint offered.

“We are not bringing the Hulk out just to kill a spider,” Steve deadpanned as he immediately shot down the idea.

“Don’t kill it!” Peter yelled from the hallway.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Yeah, the kid made me promise not to kill it,” Bucky said.

“You may have promised but we haven’t,” Sam whispered to the men.

“I heard that!” Peter added.

Tony snorted and shook his head. “Wilson, you have got to stop forgetting about how strong the kid’s hearing is,” Tony joked. “He hears way more than you think he does.”

“Good thing you don’t seem to forget or else you would mentally scar him,” Bucky snickered at Tony. Clearing his throat, Tony stood up tall and pulled on his collar as he looked away.

“We’re getting off topic,” Steve said as he redirected them to the problem still clinging to Peter’s wall. “What if we got one of the suits to grab it?”

“If it doesn’t run away from the suit,” Tony said with a shrug.

“Just let me throw Sam,” Bucky said flatly.

“At the spider?” Clint asked, eyebrow raised in question.

Bucky shrugged. “Sure.”

Sam took two large steps away from Bucky.

Natasha’s door swung open and she shot out of it, stomping all the way over to Peter’s door to glare at them. Her hair was done up in overnight curlers and her sleep clothes wrinkled from being in bed. Peter cowered away from the angered Black Widow, which was probably in his best interest.

“I was hoping that you all would take care of it but I see I overestimated you all,” Natasha huffed as she entered the room. “But noooooo. One measly spider was too much for all of you combined.”

Stealthily, Natasha used Peter’s furniture to scale up the wall high enough to get to the spider. She plucked it off the wall easily enough before landing back on the ground. In her hands, the spider was perched like it belong there and rose its front legs at the men.

All five men, core members of Earth’s mightiest heroes, screamed shrilly and dashed out of the room. Peter climbed up the doorframe more to avoid being trampled and clung to the wall above his door. The men gathered in a loose circle in the hallway around the doorframe, watching Natasha with wide eyes. Clint even had an arrow notched on his bow in case he needed it.

Natasha grew closer with the spider in her hands. Peter saw the spider in her hands and yelped, bodily leaping off the wall and at Tony. His mentor didn’t have time to brace himself as the fully weight of one teenager spider-infused superhero rammed into him. Peter then used his sticky powers to cling to Tony’s back, making himself as small as possible to hide from the spider. Tony stumbled under the sudden change to his center-of-gravity and fought to get his feet in the right positions.

“There. Was it that hard to pick up one little spider?” Natasha huffed at the men, giving them each a turn under her tired glare. She then turned to Peter, his expression softening some. “Peter, next time this happens, just come get me, okay? It’ll be done so much faster.”

Peter peeked over Tony’s shoulder hesitantly and nodded his head. “O-okay, Ms. Romanoff,” Peter squeaked out.

Natasha’s glare at the men returned as she held up the spider that barely took up diameter of her palm. “I get Peter’s fear of them, but the rest of you?” Natasha scoffed. “We’re fought so much worse.”

Everyone was caught off guard by Peter’s sudden hiss at the spider, the creature standing up on four legs threateningly. Tony’s center-of-gravity changed again as Peter leaped away and he felt to the ground on his butt. By the time he finished groaning and rubbing at his lower back, Tony looked up to see Peter stuck to the ceiling and making himself as flat as possible. Peter’s eyes were wide as he tracked everyone move by the spider in Natasha’s hands.

“…well, that was a drastic reaction,” Clint said.

“The punk wasn’t joking about how scared of spiders he is,” Bucky said to himself.

Natasha took a step away from Peter, cupping a hand around the spider to hide it from Peter’s view. “I’m going to go take the spider away now, okay?”

Peter nodded his head jerkily from the ceiling, crawling backwards a step more as he kept his eyes firmly on the spider.

Natasha turned on her heel to head down the opposite side of the hallway. The door to her room opened again and Bruce stumbled out bare-chested, eyes blinking heavily from sleep and sleep pants wrinkled. He pawed his skewed glasses into place on his face as he stood in the doorway. “Is something going on?” he asked in a groggy voice.

“Not anymore,” Natasha answered easily as she brushed past her room with the spider. “Go back to bed. I’ll be there as soon as I get this little guy outside.”

Tony smirked, eyes darting down the hallway Natasha just went down and to Bruce still hovering in Natasha’s door. “So…you and Romanoff ready to make it official?” Tony teased.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Bruce said with a stiff lip, chin held up high.

“I could hear them,” Peter whispered quietly from the ceiling, calming down now that the spider was gone. Bucky looked up, realizing that he – and possibly Steve – were the only ones to hear him with their enhanced hearing.

Turning his head, Bucky tried to hide his laughter as best as he could. The others looked at him in question…well, except Steve. It was proven that his childhood friend indeed did hear what Peter had said with how bright his cheeks were with embarrassment.

Clearing his throat, Bucky yawned loudly. “We done? Because some of us would like to go back to bed.”

Peter rose his hand.

“Yes, that includes you, kid.”

Peter lowered his hand.

“Yeah, let’s end this little shindig and let baby spiders go back to bed,” Tony teased, looking up at Peter during it.

Peter pouted as he let go of the ceiling and spun through the air as he fell, landing next to a slightly panicked Tony in a deft crouch. “I’m not a baby,” Peter huffed.

“Compared to those grandpas,” Tony said with a smirk, pointing over his shoulder at the super soldiers, “you’re an infant.”

Peter opened his mouth to protest more but Bucky raised his flesh arm to stop it. “Enough with the bickering. I’m exhausted,” Bucky said, exhaling deeply. “Please, for everybody’s own sake, do not wake me up for another six hours.”

The ex-Hydra assassin didn’t give them time to retort to him as he turned on his heel and left, ignoring their quiet murmurs behind him. Bucky marched all the way back to his room and to his bed, flopping face first into it. He wasn’t even bothering with taking off his shirt as that was too much work for him right now.

When Bucky went to grab his blanket, it was then that he realized his other arm was still in that damn web hammock. Grumbling, Bucky rolled over and pulled his blanket up with the hand he still had. He could get his arm and his revenge against Sam in the morning. For now, it was time to get some shut-eye.

It barely felt like even ten minutes had passed before a finger poked Bucky between the brows. Bucky’s eyes shot open in surprise from not hearing anyone enter his room to see Peter hanging from a web above him just like he had been before. Groaning, Bucky dragged a hand down his tired face. “Peter, what now? The spider is gone.”

“…there are more…” Peter said in a weak voice as he shot Bucky a sheepish grin. Bucky’s eye twitched harshly at the news.

“Then go get Romanoff to take care of it,” Bucky huffed. If the Black Widow was going to offer up her services as the kid's spider wrangler, then Peter needed to be bothering her.

Peter shook his head. “I can hear them,” Peter said quietly. Bucky cursed as he realized who ‘them’ was. “So…I need you to get the baby spiders. Please.”

It seems the universe didn’t want Peter to sleep tonight and by extension, Bucky himself. He felt his eye twitch harder when he really processed that previous sentence. “Excuse me, did you just say baby spiders?” Bucky asked in a low voice.

Peter hunched in on himself with a sheepish grin that hung upside from his current position. “…so apparently that spider was not a boy spider like I thought it was…”

Rolling over, Bucky screamed loudly into his pillow.